What The Heart Wants
Kartik picked Naira up and crossed the threshold of their room as was their private tradition. Naira looked as surprised & even more embarrassed than she did the first time he did it. He smiled a little at her blushing cheeks, some things never change he thought. He placed her down carefully while she stood a little clueless as to what to do.
She had stood her ground against Naksh after he refused to be convinced. The dadis were okay with her decision so she left with Kartik without much ado on a sunny day. Keerti looked on with Krish, looking conflicted as Kartik took Naira away. At the time she hadn't really thought of what lay ahead. She wanted to be with Kartik was all she thought. When his dadi & rest of the family had welcomed her with rituals, she was a little shaken & very glad to have worn the red saree Kartik had given her. He had said it was her mother's, wearing it made her feel a comforting warmth. She felt completely out of place in this house as she had in hers but somehow the room seemed to envelop her in a hug.
Naira looked up at Kartik who seemed to have forgotten himself as he stared at her. She blushed a tiny bit then just raised her eyebrows.
"Welcome back jaanemann" he said in this low husky voice that made her go weak in the knees. He hadn't exactly been romantic with her probably with good reason, she didn't remember a thing and he was stricken with guilt. Now though, slowly, he was regaining his lost self with her. His simple gestures and sweet words were making her feel heady. It was a rush of unfamiliar yet familiar emotions.
She couldn't quite place it if it were the familiarity or because she had heard their story or if she were falling hopelessly in love again. A mix of everything she supposed. The familiarity had made her attached to him. Their story had made her feel so many emotions for the people in it, like she was part of an epic love story. How was she to stop herself from falling in love with this guy in front of her though? He was charming and kind, loved her so fiercely that he was willing to go to any lengths to keep her happy. He was broken and tired with everything that had happened and she wanted to take him in her arms and protect him from everything that was hurting him.
She felt a little dizzy as a familiar set of scenes flashed in her mind. The intense emotion she had felt for him just then had triggered something. It must've shown on her face for he held her suddenly, afraid she'd fall. She smiled at him confirming to him that she was fine. His face visibly relaxed, his eyes a mix of emotions most prominent of which was pure love. He asked her cupping her cheeks.
"Tum teek ho na?"
Her smile dimmed just a little at the pain in his voice. He noticed it and tried to pull his hands away but she would have none of it. She put her own palm on his. Then interlocked her fingers into his. Without thinking about it, she took it near her lips and kissed his fingers. He stared at her, he wanted to snake his arms around her waist, as was his habit, then pull her so close that they had trouble focusing. But he had learnt to show restraint, to hold back and let her ease into this relationship.
"Bhaiyya Bhaabhi" Luv Kush were at the door and Kartik couldn't help giggling at the familiarity of it, his darling noodles, bhabhi ke chamche and of course his pyaar ke dushman. Naira looked surprised but almost immediately reached out to them. They both came and hugged her.
"Humne kaha tha na bhabhi hum hai aap keliye phir aap kaha chali gayi thi"
She just smiled unsure of what to say but feeling touched all the same.
He looked on at the sight in front of him fondly and sighed hopefully. Maybe just maybe things will be back to normal sooner than expected.
Luv kush then informed them that they had been called by the family for some Hawan.
When Naira reached the room again after the hawan, she was stunned to see that the room was decorated. It looked right for a first night, except she wasn't married. Oh wait, she was married, she simply didn't remember but then, it wasn't her first night either. She shook her head almost as if willing it to stop her complicated line of thought. She shivered involuntarily. Was she ready for this? She wasn't sure. What would she tell Kartik though? They'd been married for nearly 6 years and now she was too afraid to spend the night with him because she wasn't ready? How unfair was that to him? How horrible would he feel ?
She was caught in the web of her thoughts when she felt someone's hands on her shoulders. She turned around startled, Kartik quickly took his hands off her. She felt a pang of sadness at the suddenness of his move not to mention the look on his face that he tried to rearrange into a normal expression as fast as he could and quickly caught his hands.
"Sorry.."
"Sorry.."
They both said at the same time.
"Woh mein kuch Soch rahi thi"
"Mujhe careful rehna chahiye tha"
"Nahi Kartik, Tumne Kuch nahi kiya, Please aisa Mat socho"
"Par Naira..mujhe patah hai ki tum kya Soch rahi ho"
She looked at him curiously. He had said he knew what she was thinking. It triggered her interest, did he really?
He smiled then said that he knew she was bewildered seeing the decorations, he hadn't known about it. He wouldn't have let it happen otherwise. He said he knew she felt unsure, like it was her first time and didn't feel ready and he was completely ok with it. He was willing to wait for her, she could take as long as she desired. He even suggested that they get to know as if they're meeting for the first time. Like they had an arranged marriage of sorts. She would fall in love with him -hopefully - as time went by. He gets it that knowing their story doesn't change anything for her. Her mind was still in the present without a past while he was living in the past. So he said he had decided to traverse this journey with her help, on equal footing.
She stared at him, stunned by what he had said. He was amazing, she decided but he had gotten one thing wrong, she was already in love with him. How could anybody not be. She wasn't that stupid, she huffed in her mind then hugged him. He staggered a little at the intensity of her hug. Then smiled a little as he asked her in her ears if he had got it right?
She pulled back a little from the hug, as she looked into his eyes and said "nahi"
He lifted an eyebrow.
"Kyun ki I don't have to fall in love with you Kartik, I already do".
"Naira" His voice broke as a flood of emotions hit him. "I love you, I love you, I love you too Naira"
"I know" she said "jitna kisine kisise nahi kiya ho" she replied automatically.
He looked at her, she shook her head, she didn't remember, it had just come out. He nodded. He placed a loving kiss on her forehead.
"Tum change karlo. Tabtak mein Ye decorations hatatha hoon"
"Nahi rehne do.. ache lag rahe hai"
"Acha?" He asked her with a glimpse of the old Kartik peeking through, mischief in his voice.
"I mean" she said awkwardly.
Then he laughed and let it go. She smiled too.
Maybe they'd be ok after all, they both thought to themselves.
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