Zhans' pov:~

"Yibo..." I called his name gently, wrapping my arms around him, as he looked at me, tears slipping from his eyes.

"Zhan... I am sorry."

"Why are you sorry? What do you remember?"

Yibo was covered with sweat and he was breathing heavily, "I...I remember." he kept his hand over his chest and said, "I remember killing my family... I remember you coming to me and yelling at me... Zhan... please don't hate me."

My hold tightened on him, memories of my past life flashing in my mind and I finally asked the questions that had been plaguing my mind, the question that had been haunting me for all this time, questions that were eating me alive, "Why did you do that Yibo? Why did you kill your family?"

Yibo cried, "I didn't want to but I had no choice, the emperor had ordered my family to kill your family, he had ordered me to kill you! They had also ordered my family to kill innocents, to kill entire tribes.

The crown prince had said that if I left, if I protested, they would use my family to kill my soldiers, and I realized that these people would not stop till they got what they wanted, they would use my family again and again... they would use my family as killing machines.

I tried to talk to my family, I tried to explain to them that the emperor was wrong, that we should not support him, but they didn't listen...they just wouldn't listen to me... and I...I...don't know what came over me... what happened to me... it was like I was possessed, I lost my mind and I lost control over myself... and I only wanted to protect you... to protect everyone else... so to stop the emperor, to stop my family... I killed them...

And then... I...I couldn't live with the guilt, I knew that you would never love me, never accept me after what I had done, and I was nothing but a burden to you because of the curse... I didn't want that... if I could hurt my family then I could hurt you too...and then you drew your sword at me, you were angry at me... I knew that it was over for us...so...I..." and then he killed himself.

My tears slipped from my eyes as I heard his explanation, my questions finally had answers and those answers were like a knife to my heart.

So Yibo had known about the curse in my last life, he had already known that the king was evil and he was fighting to protect me. To protect me he killed his family. I had misunderstood him. He had always loved me. He never wanted to hurt me, and I didn't even try to understand him, I didn't even try to talk to him and was ready to attack him, while he was fighting his curse.

How much pain he must have been going through. I wasted so much time after coming back to this second life, if only I had known about this curse from the beginning, I could have done something sooner.

Yibo in my past life died believing that I hated him, that I was going to attack him and he was right.

Even after being reborn, I treated him coldly.

I pulled him closer and controlled myself.

Yibo spoke, "I am sorry, for what I did to your brother."

"Why did you kill him?" I asked.

Yibo spoke, "Your brother had come to the crown prince and fought with him, he called him names and insulted him, the crown prince did not like that so he had your brother abducted and tortured.

He subjected Cheng to brutal torture but what crossed the limits was when Gideon asked his men to gang-rape your brother and parade him naked on the streets.

I couldn't let that happen, Cheng was a loyal soldier, he had done a lot for this nation, he had sacrificed a lot, how could I let something like that happen to Cheng. A soldier like him did not deserve that.

So I pleaded with Gideon but he did not listen. And in the end I went to Cheng who was barely alive, I wanted to take him away but there was not time and even he knew that I won't be able to free him so he pleaded with me to kill him, and before anyone could touch him I listened to his wish and beheaded him. I am sorry Zhan... I... didn't know what else to do."

I felt like someone had stabbed my heart with a hot dagger and was now twisting it, I felt a punch to my gut, Yibo was always by my side. He had always chosen me. He was always trying to protect me and my family.

I cried as I hugged him, "I am sorry." I said.

"Why are you sorry... Zhan... I am sorry... I deserved to die... I..."

"No... no you don't deserve to die Yibo... I love you."

Yibo looked at me, "Even after everything I did..."

I looked at him and gently cupped his face, "Even after everything you did, I still love you, I will always love you. I am sorry I was not there for you, I am sorry I had no idea you were suffering so much... I am sorry... that I am never there whenever you need me.. I am such a bad lover... I always leave you alone to deal with hardships on your own.

While you always try to protect me."

Yibo held my hands and gave me a weak smile, "You are here now... you accepted me... you... love me... what else do I need."

Yibo suddenly started coughing violently and groaned, "it hurts Zhan..."

"I know."

"It hurts everywhere."

"I know." I said as I started crying, my body trembled and my voice came out shaky, "I know darling... I know, I am sorry I could do nothing..."

Yibo looked at me and slowly raised his hand to wipe my tears, even that small movement seemed to be causing him pain, "Don't cry...I am fine..."

Even now he was comforting me, even now he was worried about me, it only made me want to cry harder, so I held him closer and just sobbed against him.