Zhan's pov

"Ah...hah..."

The entire room was filled with moans and grunts, Yibo was trying his best to keep his voice down but I was making it specially hard for him by pounding into him like a wild animal.

Going deeper and deeper with each thrust, hitting his pleasure spot each time making him go crazy.

His eyes rolled back as I thrusted into him while sucking his neck like a hungry beast. Yibo kept his hands over his mouth to stop himself from moaning but I grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head as I thrusted into him.

"Ah!!" he cried when I punched his nipple and gave it a twist, tears spilled his eyes as I kept going.

"Gods... oh god... you are so rough today. Zhan...ow..."

He was right, I was out of control, I wasn't just making love to him I was claiming him possessing him, I was dominating him and he was surrendering himself to me so beautifully that I didn't want to stop, I couldn't slow down. I wanted to own him, I wanted to make him mine.

"Yibo, you drive me so crazy. You have no idea what you do to me." I said as I pounded deeper into him making him cry, I bit his chest, his neck, his shoulder making him yell in pain and pleasure.

"I...I...I am close...Oh god." he cried but I grabbed his manhood and covered the tip with my thumb making his eyes go wide, "you are going to come with me." I said I sucked on his nipples hungrily while pounding into him.

My grip on his hands was still tight, my tongue swirled on his nipple, before I bit it with my teeth. Yibo shook his head, as tears spilled his eyes, he bit his lips trying to calm him down, but every time he did that I went in harder making sure that he wasn't able to hold back for long.

"Zhan, please please let me cum please Zhan... I can't take it any longer, please...."

"It's our third round you can't be tired already Yibo."

"You perverted beast." he cursed and I smiled.

"Since you can curse me I guess you still have a lot of energy left."

"What? No. Ah...ah...ah... Zhan!" he yelled my name as I pounded into him without mercy and finally after a few more rough thrust I let go of him and we both came together.

I collapsed on the top of him, as we both breathe heavily, covered in sweat. I was able to recover quickly I got up from him and found him sleeping soundly.

He looked so peaceful and unguarded right now, I couldn't help but smile gently and kiss him on the forehead, I quickly got up and cleaned myself and changed into new clothes and then I cleaned Yibo and put on some warm clothes on him as well, before I tucked him to bed and laid beside him.

I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around him. I stared at his beautiful sleeping face. Yibo loves me and cares for me but he cannot leave behind his duties, I love him despite everything and I can die for him but even I cannot let go of my responsibilities, I won't be able to live with myself if I supported the emperor.

I don't understand why Yibo would support the emperor and maybe in the same way he won't understand me as well. Very soon our relationship will have no understanding no trust, only love.

But is that enough to keep going.

I gently caressed Yibo's face as all these thoughts ran in my head, I can't support him and he can't support him, but I can't let go of him, either.

I brought my forehead against his and closed my eyes, I inhaled his scent, took in his presence, felt his warm body against him, heard his even breathing, I just stayed in his presence.

"I love you Yibo. I am sorry." my voice came out strained and it was full of pain. I soon fell asleep against him.

~~

The next day I was the one who woke up first. And in my arms laid Yibo, I stared at his beautiful sleeping face and gently kissed him on the forehead.

He moved in my arms before he smiled gently and snuggled against me, wrapping his arms around me, "I don't want to get up." he mumbled.

"We have to get ready." I said as I caressed his head.

"But I like staying like this with you."

"I like it too." I said softly, "but you have to get ready for the hunt."

His hold tightened around me, "this time I am not letting you out of my sight."

"I am dropping out of the hunt."

There was silence after I said this, but then Yibo suddenly sat on the bed and stared at me, "what? why! Are you hurt? are you not feeling well after yesterday?"

I slowly sat down as well, "I am fine, but I need to find out who attacked prince Simon."

"I can do that, I am the commander of the royal knights, the protection of the royal family is on me and my men."

"I know that but Prince Simon has specifically asked me to help him, how can I say no to him?"

Yibo sighed, "fine then I will also drop out and help you."

"Don't be stupid Yibo. You should take part and continue till the end."

Yibo huffed and glared at me, "Zhan, you are a general god knows when you will have to go back to the border again, and I am always so busy here, these small small moments are the only time we get to see each other and spend time, but these days it seems like you are not interested in spending time with me at all!"

I sighed as I stared at him, how do I tell him that I cherish these small moments more than my own life, that it kills me every time I have sacrifice these small moments despite knowing that there is not much time. Despite knowing that soon Yibo's love was going to turn into hatred for me.

How do I tell him that there is nothing I want more than spending time with him.

"Yibo it's not like that."

"Really? Then there is nothing on your mind that is keeping you distracted? I feel that you are distant."

"Its nothing like that Yibo, I love you, but you and I both know that we cannot run from our duties."

"I know that very well Zhan, but.... but... I want to spend time with you. A lot of time. I want to wake up with you and not run back to my place I want to spend the whole day with you, have breakfast, lunch. Just us."

I smiled, "sounds like a married life."

"I want that." Yibo said, he looked at me seriously, he wasn't joking.

Same sex marriage was allowed in our kingdom but only when both the parties had siblings so that their particular family legacy is passed on, or if you already had a child. If someone is a single child and has not children then entering in same sex marriage would be very tough for them.

Yibo spoke again, "I want us to live together, have a house, and pets and spend all time together."

My heart clenched when I heard this, in my last life Yibo had said the same thing to me, and we were also planning to tell our families about us. We were finally ready to get married before tragedy struck. My sister died and then my family fell apart and then Yibo died too.

Our dream of sweet home, remained a dream only.

"Why don't you say anything?" Yibo spoke, "you don't want to get married?"

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, it was getting hard for me to breathe as I felt suffocating. My heart was hurting.

"Zhan?" Yibo called out my name, "what's wrong with you?"

"Are you serious? Zhan, I...."

"We should get ready." I said as I got up from the bed and without looking back at him I just walked away to get dressed.

I cannot even think of imagining and planning for a future that might never happen. The future that Yibo is asking for might never happen. I have already seen those dreams shatter right in front of my eyes, I can't go through that pain again.

Once I got dressed and came outside Yibo was not there, but I saw a note he left for me.

"I am sorry if you felt too overwhelmed by what I said, I don't want to rush things, but I really love you. And I want to spend more time with you.

-Love Yibo."

I clenched the note and kept it on my chest.

"My Lord." I heard Haoxuan's voice , "is everything alright?"

"Yes." I said.

"Then... why are you crying?"

I blinked and felt something hot on my face, I gently lifted my hand and touched my face and there were the tears.

The pain in my heart had became unbearable, the pain of realization that I am slowly drifting away from Yibo. I am going farther and farther away from him. I am loosing him, even if he is near me, he is still far away.

I am grieving the future that we will never have.