Stuck In Limbo

It's like I'm fast asleep

Yet my mind is alert and I can see

For the first time clarity prevails

I see my life through my mind's eye.

Feels like I'm stuck behind the curtain

Like I'm watching my life go by

I feel like I'm riding a wave

And I don't know where it will throw me.

I'm doing something important

But it is not what I want.

I look at what could have been

And yet still I see nothing better.

I feel like I'm stuck going forward

Forward in a direction I do not want

Pedaling on life's road with no speed bumps

Behind the wheel with no brakes.

I've always known what I wanted

Been too scared to chase it.

And yet for the first time

I am truly lost without direction.

It is a sad existence, not living

My words, they drown me

Somewhere inside me they form

And I never can let them out.

I did have a dream once, maybe

Of a life full of contentment

But right now I am stuck underground

Like a corpse or a shell but filled with sadness

I do not know what I want

Maybe if I did I'd have something to fight for

Right now I'm floating

Searching for a way out of my self inflicted prison.

Pubber since January 2016