"So, now what?" Kibum questioned. In his mind he could see the nightmare he was so afraid of became real. "Are you gonna turn me in?"

„Why should I?" Jonghyun asked in confusion. "Don't you understand, Kibum? I don't care what your name is. When I confessed, I meant it. I love the person standing in front of me. I love you."

"But you don't know me." There it was again, the part of him that constantly kept away people who loved him. The part that was afraid to be loved. The part that kept whispering he wasn't worth it.

"Do I not? I know you cook when you're sad and bake when you're happy. I know you look out for cars from both sides even when you're crossing a one-way street. I know you like it when I play with your hair. I know you always pay attention when I talk about my boring job, even though you don't have to. I know you said you don't want to have children and yet you'd always smile every time you passed by a baby."

"Do you think that's enough? Because you know how I cross the street means you know me? You don't know my family, my friends... or my past. What makes you believe you wouldn't change your mind?"

"Is that what frightens you? That I would stop loving you once I get to know you?" Jonghyun replied, his lips formed a smile, but his eyes were full of sadness. "If that were true, there would have been plenty times when I would stop being with you?"

"Which times?"

"The time when I know you weren't Lee Taemin, when I found out you're the heir of a syndicate or when you suddenly became Rambo?" Jonghyun shrugged off Kibum's "stupid" question. His words seemed to affect the younger. Kibum wanted to believe this man in front of him. He really did.

"Don't you see it, Kibum? I didn't run away, and I won't go anywhere. So, don't be afraid. Show me every piece of you and I will love every single one."

"You say 'love' like it's nothing."

"I don't use that word inflationary. I said it because I was sure you are my soulmate and I haven't changed my mind. Beside my family I haven't said it anyone other than you."

"You haven't?"

"No, so trust me. I mean it when I said I love you. What about you? Did you mean it when you said you loved me too?"

Without thinking twice Kibum nodded. His head wouldn't stop going up and down as if he was afraid Jonghyun wouldn't believe him. And for some reason, Jonghyun was able to read his mind. The elder gently placed his hand on Kibum's cheeks. Just a slight touch of Jonghyun and Kibum calmed down. Jonghyun's touch warmed his whole body. At that moment, Kibum knew Jonghyun was right. This person was his soulmate too.

"Kibum," the way Jonghyun called his real name, he still couldn't get used to it.

"Your father. The prison director hasn't made it public yet, but your father is badly wounded. It's a long drive. We need to go." Jonghyun reminded Kibum of the reason why they were having this conversation in the first place. After so many days full of anxiety, today could have been the best day since forever, if there weren't his father being stabbed. Sure, he hated his father, but which son would want his father dead?

________>> <<________

As Jonghyun said, the drive was long. Yet, being alone in a car for hours was exactly what the couple needed right now. That way they could talk about everything. Everything, really. When they arrived at the hospital, there were no more secrets between them, and they had promised each other there would never be any secret again. Never in his life had Kibum made a promise that he was as determined to keep as this one.

Jonghyun thought Kibum would rush to the reception once they arrived, but Kibum was calm. They had been waiting outside of the hospital for over 10 minutes and Kibum hadn't say a word. Kibum insisted on an unobtrusive parking spot which still allowed them to have a clear sight at the entrance. At first Jonghyun thought Kibum wasn't ready to see his father considering their bad relationship, but Kibum didn't seem to be lost in his thoughts. His eyes were too awake, observing everybody going in and out.

"Something is off," he murmured.

"What's wrong?" Jonghyun asked. He too sensed something fishy.

"I need to make a call," said Kibum and dialled a number that wasn't saved on his phone.

"Uncle," he greeted the person on the other end of the phone, "why am I not informed about my father?"

Jonghyun was surprised how demanded Kibum sounded. Kibum didn't say it, but his tone made it clear. He expected an explanation from his "uncle" and it better be a good one.

"I'm on my way. I'll arrived soon." And with that Kibum hanged up. Within a minute a group of five men gathered at the front door, clearly searching for someone. Each of them looked like they just came out of prison. It wasn't just their visible tattoos but also the way they stood, the way they walked. Even the way they look at people. Everything about them screamed 'criminal'. They weren't wearing all black like in those gangster movies but when Jonghyun looked at them, he did see the colour black. Jonghyun was a man of science, so we would never say he could feel their aura, still if he had to describe them with one single word, it must be "dark".

"That must be your welcoming committee," Jonghyun commented sarcastically.

"They work for my uncle."

"I thought your father is the leader. Wouldn't everyone work for him?"

"Theoretically yes, but that's not how it works. My uncle works for my father and those men work for my uncle and so on." Kibum interrupted himself with a deep sigh.

"It is...," Kibum hesitated to finish his sentence.

"It's a putsch," he finally stated. That was the moment Jonghyun decided to start the car and leave the hospital area.

"What are you doing?" Kibum protested.

"It's a trap. I need to get you out of here," replied Jonghyun, stepping on the gas.

"Jonghyun, stop the car." Kibum demanded.

"Kibum, it's clearly a trap. They got your father and now they want you." Jonghyun warned but Kibum didn't listen.

"I told you to stop the fucking car," the younger yelled. By that Jonghyun sighed, yet still he pulled over, knowing they had reached an acceptable distance to the hospital.

"Listen, Kibum, I know you're worried about your father, but just think about it for a second. The prison director hasn't reported the attack and the information was already leaked to Seoul. That means someone wanted you to know about it. It must be a trap." Jonghyun explained.

"Do you think I don't get that? My father is in jail and his only child is far away, married to a former rival. It's the perfect time for a putsch," Kibum said, fighting against the tears which were forming in his eyes.

"I should have known it. I should never have run away. It's my fault." Kibum's words wrere mixed with his sobbing. Seeing Kibum crying was something he couldn't handle. Jonghyun leaned over, embracing his lover.

"You did nothing wrong," Jonghyun tried to comfort the younger. He didn't say it, but if it had to be someone's fault, then it must be his. Kibum wouldn't have stayed, and this wouldn't have happened, if Kibum hadn't met him. Yes, it was immoral, still he was glad they met.

"Jonghyun, I need to go back. I have to talk to my father," Kibum said, letting go of Jonghyun. If it were up to him, he would stay protected in Jonghyun's embrace forever. But life was a bitch.

"I understand how you feel right now. I have been in the same situation," Jonghyun confessed, thinking of that day when a driver was suddenly sent to pick him up from school. On his ride home, even though the drive hadn't said a word, still Jonghyun knew something terrible had happened to his mother. She had been sick for a long time. Thus, in the back seat the young boy had prayed to God. He hadn't prayed for a miracle recovery. No, all he'd asked for was the chance to say goodbye.

God hadn't heard him that day.

"But at least let me make a phone call before you decide anything, would you?" Jonghyun begged. As much as he wished for Kibum to be spared from the same experience he had made, he was still not putting his soulmate in danger. Considering the circumstances, one of them must stay rational. And that person couldn't be Kibum.

To his relief, Kibum agreed. It was odd how Jonghyun knew someone who knew someone who knew another one, and the last person would be the chief of the hospital in which Kibum's father was brought to. This was connection on a high level.

"Are you positive?" Jonghyun confirmed a second time before hanging up. He lowered his head. His lips formed a thin line. That was the moment Kibum sensed something wrong. Jonghyun didn't have to say it out loud. Kibum simply knew it. His father passed away.

________>> <<________

Jonghyun has always hated to be his father's child. He disliked being labelled as the minister's son. In his last high school year, Jonghyun had been brought to the hospital by an ambulance three times. The reasons were each time overworking. That was how hard he'd learned to attend his dream university, because even for a 'genius' – as people tended to call him – a study place at Cambridge required more than hard work. Thus, the day he got accepted at Cambridge was one of the best days in his life. That happiness hadn't last long though. After the first semester Jonghyun had already found out about his father's abnormal generous donation to the university. The dean of the faculty assured that the donation hadn't affected Jonghyun's application.

"If you're here, then you deserved it. You made it on your own." He said.

The next day, Jonghyun exmatriculated himself and left the city. Until then, Cambridge was something he had worked for his whole life, but he would never know whether he would have made it or not. All because he was who he was. He was his father's son.

Jonghyun's relationship to his father had never been great, since Mr. Kim was a distanced person, even to his children. Yet, since Cambridge, their relationship had worsened dramatically. Jonghyun had promised himself to never make use of his father's political power.

But today he was ready to break his promise... for Kibum.

With his father's help Jonghyun managed to arrange an immediate autopsy. Thus, Mr. Kim's body was brought to the forensic doctor right away. Jonghyun wished he could have done better. Kibum shouldn't have said farewell to his father in a morgue, but Jonghyun couldn't let the younger walk right into a trap. At least the gang members couldn't follow them in a building that was guarded by the police.

"Try to get some sleep, ok?" Jonghyun asked as he gently laid Kibum down their bed, but he wasn't really expecting an answer. Kibum hadn't said a word since the morgue. He was paralyzed as soon as he saw his father. It was like his soul had left his body. He'd followed Jonghyun home. He'd drunk the chamomile tea that Jonghyun had made, and he'd changed into that pyjama Jonghyun had gave him. Still, he hadn't notice any of that at all. His mind was blank.

Jonghyun would prefer Kibum to cry, yet the younger hadn't shed a tear. But sorrow didn't always come in tears. Sometimes it was silence that embraced the biggest pain.

Jonghyun covered Kibum with the blanket and laid down next to his husband. Kibum had neither moved nor said anything. The light was off, and the room was even darker than normal, since it was new moon. Still, Jonghyun knew Kibum hadn't closed his eyes. Running his fingers through Kibum's hair, Jonghyun tried to comfort the younger. He remembered when he lost his mom, he hadn't paid attention to anything or anyone around him either. He wasn't in a mood to talk to anybody, but because he was the older brother, he had to. Otherwise people would "target" his sister.

"How are you?"

Oh, he hated that question. What did people expect a child who just lost his mom to answer? Good? Bad? Would the answer change their reaction? No, it wouldn't. Jonghyun had tested it.

"How are you?"

At that time, Jonghyun had learned how annoying that question could be and how tiresome it was to talk when all you wanted was silence. When his mom passed away, he was still a child. Thus, he didn't want to be alone. It was easy to confuse loneliness and silence. He needed silence but he didn't want to be alone. It would have been enough to know someone was there. But Kibum wasn't a child anymore.

"Do you want to be alone?" Jonghyun asked. Kibum still hadn't said a word. Yet, the moment Kibum reached for his hand, Jonghyun knew he was exactly where he needed to be. Right next to Kibum.

________>> <<________

The sunlight dazzled as Jonghyun opened his eyes. His head is spinning as for he'd slept for barely 2 hours. Rubbed his eyes, he turned his head to Kibum. Jonghyun could feel Kibum's hand still holding his, nevertheless a ridiculous irrational part of him feared that the other side of the bed would be empty.

Looking at Kibum, Jonghyun breathed out in relief. Every morning he woke up to Kibum's beautiful face and he every morning he told himself how lucky he was. But today, he wasn't just happy, he was thankful. Jonghyun wasn't a believer. He wouldn't even know who he should be thankful to. He was simply grateful for another day with this person next to him.

"Have you been awake for the entire night?" Jonghyun asked. Kibum's eyes were puffed and red. The younger looked even paler than yesterday.

Kibum was still starring at the ceiling. The younger hadn't moved an inch. But as he felt Jonghyun's eyes on him, Kibum finally spoke.

"What are they gonna do after I didn't show up at the hospital?"

Hearing his lover's voice again, Jonghyun almost screamed in happiness.

"Let's worry about that after you got some sleep," Jonghyun suggested, though Kibum didn't seem to listen.

"They'll go after me, of course." The younger continued.

"You're safe here. No one knows where you are."

"That's right. I'm safe. But that'd make Taemin their target." Kibum said as his body jumped up on its own.

________>> <<________

Review:

"Don't worry about me. I'm really safe here."

...

"Ok, let me show you," Taemin walked towards the front door, opened it he asked, "let say a gang would storm this house right now. How far would they come?"

"Jungkook-ssi," Taemin addressed the young guard.

Hi everybody, the world is like on corona fire. Am I the only one who is so confused and messed up by this mess?
I hope you all are safe and healthy. Please take care and stay home.