Author: Anonymous (???)

It starts with a question that Nobara asks offhandedly as she watches Gojo sensei reject yet another woman that tries to ask for his number.

"Do you think Gojo sensei has a crush on someone?"

Immediately, Itadori's face swivels towards her, eyes wide and excited. "That would explain why he keeps rejecting pretty people!"

Fushiguro sighs, used to their antics. "He could just not be interested in dating."

"This is Gojo sensei we're talking about. He thrives in attention. You're telling me he doesn't want a lover doting on him?"

"That is... Fair."

"Who do you think his crush is?" Itadori asks, practically sparkling as he bounces on his feet.

Nobara smiles, vicious and toothy. "Why don't we find out?"

----------

It's startlingly easy to figure out. Really, Nobara doesn't know how she missed it before, but now that she's looking...

Gojo sensei's gaze always lingers on Getou sensei for far longer than it does on anyone else, so much so that you can tell even when he has his blindfold on. He always comes into school with an extra cup of coffee; the cup always appears on Getou sensei's desk at some point during the day.

Gojo sensei takes any excuse he can to sling an arm around his friend's neck, always brings back a special souvenir for him, and constantly interrupts their lessons with Getou sensei.

There are subtler things too, ones that make Nobara feel uncomfortable, a little like she's seen something she shouldn't have, whenever she catches them. It's not often, that she manages to see- but she's become overly invested in the odd thing her teachers have and she's always been more observant than people give her credit for.

Sometimes, Gojo sensei gives Getou sensei this smile- a soft, small little thing wildly unlike his usual giant grin, like Getou sensei is the most precious person in the entire world. His infinity always lets Getou sensei in when the latter pinches his cheeks or grabs his hand and drags him of somewhere, seamless acceptance only for him. They have these wordless conversations, held in the movement of eyes and the twitches of eyebrows and little shoulder bumps, ones that Nobara can't understand for the life of her. Not that she's tried- she can never bring herself to look for more than a few seconds, always feeling like she's intruding on something special.

One time, she'd caught Gojo sensei reaching out, about to grab Getou sensei's hand, and then he'd stopped, inches away, and let his hand drop. Gojo sensei had shaken his head then, expression somber for a few seconds before a grin overtook it and he began teasing Getou sensei over something, and Nobara had realized with a strange bit of sadness that they probably weren't just secretly dating.

Or maybe they were; it's impossibly difficult to tell whether or not Getou sensei sees Gojo sensei as anything more than a- best friend? Nobara thinks that's the label they use. She's not quite sure.

So yeah, Nobara has some suspicions.

But the cherry on top, the thing that cements her belief, is Gojo Satoru's high school notebook.

He'd only ever made one, Nobara knows, so when it somehow ends up on the kitchen table, she obviously takes a peek.

For the most part, it's exactly what she'd expected; doodles, snippets of conversations, more doodles, and not a single ounce of useful information.

What's interesting, though, is the fact that there are dozens of doodles of Getou sensei with various unflattering expressions, and drawn in a little cloud, the words Getou Satoru .

Oh my god, Nobara thinks with wild glee, Gojo sensei is absolutely whipped.

Naturally, she shows her discovery to Itadori and Fushiguro and also all of the second years, because everyone deserves to know how much of a lovesick puppy their teacher actually is.

The little doodle even gets a smile out of Fushiguro.

"We have to get them together!" Itadori says, determination shining in his eyes.

"Calm down, we have to make sure Getou sensei actually likes him back first," Fushiguro responds, bumping their shoulders together.

Gross.

"Okay!" Nobara says with a lopsided, mischievous smile, "Operation: find out if Getou sensei is insane enough to like Gojo sensei is a go!"

----------

She carries out her plan after an immensely long day of training, while Gojo sensei is sitting at the kitchen table and insultingly giving Inumaki senpai advice.

Getou sensei has decided to take pity on them that evening and is making the first and second years a meal, looking very domestic in his apron.

Nobara almost snickers as she watches Gojo sensei not-so-subtly ogle him. How he manages to watch so obviously despite having a literal blindfold on is beyond Nobara.

"Hey, Getou sensei," she asks, resting her head in her palm, "Are you in a relationship with anyone?"

Gojo sensei stiffens visibly, ears twitching.

"Hm? No, I'm not," Getou sensei replies, not looking up from the carrots he's cutting.

Not secretly dating, then.

"Then do you have a crush on anyone?"

"No, I don't," Getou sensei replies, causing Gojo sensei to wilt in his seat.

Oof.

"Where is this coming from, anyway?"

"Itadori and Fushiguro were just wondering about what it must be like to be in a relationship as jujutsu sorcerers," Nobara lies, resisting the urge to snort as Fushiguro glares at her, cheeks tinted red. "And we got curious about whether any of the teachers were in relationships."

"Ah, I see," Getou sensei says, shooting a knowing glance at the two mentioned boys. Gojo sensei continues to sulk, drinking from a glass of water to avoid speaking.

"Anyway, sensei, if you were to date someone, what kind of woman would you date?"

"Oh, I'm gay," Getou sensei replies nonchalantly, moving on to cutting potatoes.

Gojo sensei promptly chokes on his water, hacking violently as the tips of his ears tinge red.

"Are you okay, Gojo sensei?" Nobara asks in mock-concern. "You're not homophobic, are you?"

"I'm fine," Gojo sensei wheezes out. After a moment, he speaks again, sounding easily casual, the tone obviously fake. "Besides, I'm bisexual. It'd be a little hypocritical of me to be homophobic."

Getou sensei stiffens, just barely, eyes widening a little, and Nobara files that detail away for later.

"That's so cool!" Itadori exclaims, somehow still energetic after their grueling training session. "I'm bi too!"

"Are we coming out now? Because I'm a lesbian," Maki senpai says, and no Nobara's heart does not speed up at the words. Shut up.

"I'm pan," Nobara offers, carefully not looking at Maki senpai.

"Me too," Fushiguro says.

"Salmon," Inumaki senpai adds, and the table lapses into silence.

"So what kind of guy would you want to date then, Getou sensei?" Nobara asks, amusedly watching as Gojo sensei immediately perks up, watching Getou sensei like a hawk.

"You're really interested in this, huh?" Getou sensei asks, huffing a little laugh.

"Please?"

"Fine, fine. I've never really thought about it but... I guess I'd like someone funny, maybe a little mischievous. I don't think I could handle dating a boring guy."

Gojo sensei practically glows at the words, completely oblivious to everyone watching his reaction.

"He'd have to be a jujutsu sorcerer, and a strong one at that. Hm, I guess it would be nice if he was pretty..."

At that point, Gojo sensei is practically vibrating in his seat, and Nobara is internally cheering.

Damn, she thinks, Maybe sensei has a chance after all .

"Oh, and it's a little unrealistic, but..." Getou sensei bites his lip. "I'd like someone kind," He says softly, and Nobara winces.

Gojo sensei visibly droops back into his seat, a gloomy air settling over him.

"That's... really sweet, Getou sensei," Nobara says.

That last one just ruined Gojo sensei's chances, huh, she thinks, locking glances with Fushiguro.

Fushiguro just shrugs.

It is what it is , his expression says.

----------

"Come on, Gojo sensei is kind!" Itadori argues, gesturing wildly as he sits cross legged on Nobara's bed. "He saved me!"

"He only did that because I asked him to," Fushiguro counters bluntly.

"And because it would piss the higher ups off," Nobara adds, nails drumming against the notebook in her lap.

Fushiguro nods in acknowledgment. Itadori pouts.

"Still, it's just one quality, right? I'm sure Getou sensei could look past it if he really starts to like Gojo sensei. I mean, he fits every other criteria!" Itadori argues.

Nobara hums consideringly. "You have a point there..."

"Come on, you have to admit Gojo sensei has been nice enough to us to deserve us helping him with this. Besides, Getou sensei would be happier with a partner too!"

"Not if that partner is Gojo sensei ." Fushiguro says.

"No, no, let's do it. Let's get them together. This place has been getting way too boring recently anyway."

----------

Their first plan- yes, first, they're not sure how many it's going to take- is jealousy.

"I heard Gojo sensei is going on a date this weekend," Nobara says to Maki senpai, pretending not to notice Getou sensei typing on his laptop a few feet away.

The typing pauses.

Nobara grins.

"Really?" Maki senpai asks, well aware of what Nobara is doing, "That's a surprise. I can't imagine anyone wanting to date Gojo sensei."

"I know right? The only thing he has going for him is his looks. He's probably not going to get a second date," Nobara replies.

The sound of typing is still incriminatingly absent.

Maki senpai hums. "Where'd you hear about this anyway?"

"Oh, I heard Gojo sensei making plans on the phone the other day. He sounded so smitten."

Nobara fails to mention the part where it had been Getou sensei he'd been speaking to.

A laptop slams shut with a resounding noise, making Getou sensei clear his throat, a blush high on his cheeks.

"... I have to go," he says, not even bothering to give an excuse.

The moment he leaves the room, Nobara and Maki senpai dissolve into giggles.

----------

Their second plan, because the first one had apparently not done anything, is to get them alone together.

Admittedly, it's a pretty stupid plan, considering how long the two have known each other, but Itadori insisted and Nobara really didn't have any better ideas.

They try their best, they really do, but no matter how many times Getou sensei and Gojo sensei are left alone, nothing changes. Well, if you don't count the suspicious glances Gojo sensei throws at them.

Nobara has tried everything, from pretending they got the wrong time for a training session, to asking them to take the first years to Tokyo and then bailing because of an 'injury'.

Nothing works.

After the fifth time Gojo sensei and Getou sensei just happen to be left alone after training ends, Gojo sensei comes to talk to them.

He isn't visibly upset, but you can never tell with the man.

He plops down next to Itadori on the couch, legs spread shamelessly wide.

"You're trying to set me up with Suguru," he says matter-of-factly, not bothering to beat around the bush.

"Yeah," Nobara replies with a shrug, "Figured we'd help with your gigantic crush on him."

Gojo sensei just hums. "It's not going to work. Trust me, Shoko's tried."

Fushiguro's eyebrows raise. "Ieiri-san?"

"Yeah, apparently we were unbearable back in high school," Gojo sensei says with a snort.

"She tried setting us up and failed miserably. Ask her, if you want. Suguru isn't going to realize he likes me because of your meddling."

If Nobara steels her resolve to get her teachers together or die trying, the genuine note of sadness in Gojo sensei's voice is definitely not the reason.

----------

Ieiri san lets out a long sigh and a string of very explicit curses when they ask her about it, driving a scalpel into the body on her table with far too much force, her expression endlessly tired.

"Please don't remind me of their pining. I've suffered for- what is it, 13 years now? I tried so fucking hard to ignore it- and when that didn't work, I tried to get those two dumbasses together. But noooo, Satoru refuses to confess until Suguru actually realizes he likes Satoru, and Suguru has the emotional intelligence of a particularly dumb stick when it comes to romance."  Ieiri san is now furiously dragging the scalpel across flesh, her voice bored despite the way she's gritting her teeth. None of them comment on it.

"Wait, so Getou sensei actually has feelings for Gojo sensei?" Fushiguro asks, sounding mildly surprised.

"Yes! But no matter how much I try, he keeps insisting that he sees Satoru as just a friend like he doesn't drool over Satoru's biceps every goddamn summer."

"Huh," Nobara says, the cogs in her brain turning, "So what have you tried already? We can cross all of it off the list."

Ieiri san pauses her questionable examination of the body.

"You have a list?"

"Of course we have a list. We're not amateurs."

---------

They try jealousy again, because it kind of worked the first time and Ieiri san had already tried most of their ideas.

Which consisted largely of locking them in various small spaces, but that wasn't the point.

They (read: Nobara and Itadori, because Fushiguro did not care enough to do anything but stand around in the background) manage to convince Gojo sensei to go on an actual date with a random man that asked, scheduling it to be just a little while before they had a mission with Getou sensei scheduled in Tokyo.

And then they convince Getou sensei to take them to the cafe the date was going to be at before their mission.

So here they are, with Getou sensei burning holes into the poor man's skull as Fushiguro nonchalantly flips through the menu.

"Wow," Nobara says, feigning shock, "I can't believe Gojo sensei is on a date . With a non-shaman, too. They must be really special."

Fushiguro looks up from his menu, completely ignoring her statement. "I'll have the strawberry cake and an iced coffee, please."

Itadori smiles, following his lead. "I want to have that too, then!"

"Basic," Nobara says disdainfully, "I want the mango tart and iced green tea. What about you, sensei?"

Getou sensei startles, very reluctantly tearing his eyes away from where Gojo sensei is leaning into the other man's space, a little smirk on his face. "... Black coffee is fine."

Nobara pulls a face. "Go on then, Fushiguro, order for us," she says with a wave of her hand.

"Itadori can do it," Fushiguro responds, now mildly interested by the pinched, slightly angry look on Getou sensei's face.

"Sure!" Itadori says, happily getting up like the energy-filled puppy he is.

"Sensei, you seem distracted," Nobara says innocently as Itadori returns to his seat.

"No, no, I'm fine," Getou sensei responds a little hurriedly, "Did I tell you all the tips on exorcising a large amount of low-grade curses? Maybe we should review them before we go to do the mission..."

Itadori groans, resting his head on the table. "But I want to enjoy myself for a little bit! We rarely get to spend actual time in Tokyo."

"Right," Getou sensei responds tightly, eyes flickering to where Gojo sensei is laughing loudly, glasses slipping down to reveal crinkled blue eyes as the man he's with rubs the back of his neck. He definitely knows what he's doing. Nobara can't say it's not kind of funny.

"I wonder who the guy Gojo sensei's on a date with is," Nobara says after a few moments of silence, "Sensei seems to actually like him!"

Getou sensei visibly clenches his jaw. "I'd rather not spend our time talking about that dumbass or the person insane enough to date him."

Nobara opens her mouth, Are you sure you don't want to date him poised on her tongue, when the waitress comes over with their food.

"Your order," she says politely, setting the slices of cake, the tart and the drinks on the table. "Enjoy your food."

"Thank you," Nobara says instead, her impulse under control.

She eats her food in peace, savoring the taste and ignoring whatever internal turmoil Getou sensei is going through.

Getou sensei doesn't even touch his drink until Fushiguro reminds him it's there, halfway finished with his own food.

----------

By now, they're fairly certain Getou sensei has a giant, heaping crush on Gojo sensei, so all they have to do is make him realize it.

Nobara thinks back to their conversation over Getou sensei's type and grins, a plan forming in her head.

"Hey, Itadori," she says, interrupting his kicking practice.

"Yeah?" he asks, wiping sweat off his face.

Fushiguro watches from the sidelines, eyes tracing Itadori's exposed calves. At this point, he's more obvious than Gojo sensei is.

"You said Gojo sensei was kind, right?"

"Yeah!"

"... We have to find evidence of it. Or like, make it, I don't care."

Itadori tilts his head questioningly. "Evidence?"

"Yeah, evidence that we can show to Getou sensei to make him realize that Gojo sensei is exactly his type."

Itadori hums. "That'll be hard to do, though. Gojo sensei isn't the type to be loud about his kindness."

"What, it's too hard for you? Too much of a challenge?" Nobara asks, her tone just provocative enough to bait Itadori. Not that she needs to. He'd probably do it if she just added a please. This just saves her dignity a little.

"Hell no," Itadori says, a grin sharp on his face. Fushiguro averts his eyes, a blush bright on his pale cheeks.

----------

"Cats!" Itadori exclaims, breathing heavily as he slams open the door to Nobara's room.

Nobara looks up from her phone, eyebrows raised. "What?"

"Evidence of Gojo sensei's kindness! It's cats!"

"Itadori, you are making no sense right now."

Itadori collapses onto her bed, taking a moment to catch his breath.

"You know those stray cats we see every once in a while around school?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I just found out they live on the outskirts of the school campus. And Gojo sensei is the one that takes care of them. Probably in secret."

Nobara grins, wide and toothy. "Itadori, you are a godsend. So, when does he go feed them? How do we get Getou sensei to be there when he does?"

"About that... I don't actually know when he feeds them," Itadori says, coughing awkwardly.

"What?"

"I just saw him sneaking away from the main building with cat food. And the stray cats looked really well fed when I saw them."

Nobara pinches the bridge of her nose. "Okay, we can work with this. We'll figure something out."

-----------

They do, in fact, figure something out. It's a genius plan, if Nobara does say so herself.

Getou sensei and Gojo sensei are sitting way too close on the couch, talking about god knows what when Nobara, Itadori and Fushiguro approach them.

"Gojo sensei," Nobara starts, getting their attention, "Are you the one that feeds the stray cats? Itadori says he saw you sneak out with cat food."

Gojo sensei purses his lips for a brief moment before he gives them a carefree grin. "Yeah, I am. They all love me. Just don't tell the higher ups, okay? They already hate stray animals on Jujutsu Tech property."

"Wow, sensei," Itadori starts, voice awe-filled, "That's so kind of you."

It's terribly exaggerated and not subtle at all, which means Gojo sensei catches it immediately and purses his lips again, this time clearly trying not to laugh.

Thankfully, Getou sensei has "the emotional intelligence of a particularly dumb stick when it comes to romance" in Ieiri san's words, so he doesn't notice, instead just furrowing his eyebrows and shooting Gojo sensei a confused glance.

"Can you take us to see them?" Itadori asks, practically sparkling with excitement.

Gojo sensei sighs, but even he can't resist Itadori's puppy eyes. "Fine, I haven't given them their evening food yet anyway."

He gets up, smoothing imaginary wrinkles off his clothes. "You coming, Suguru?"

Much to Nobara's relief, Getou sensei shrugs and agrees, standing up to follow Gojo sensei wherever he takes them.

----------

They end up right at the edge of the forest that surrounds Jujutsu Tech, watching curiously as Gojo sensei pulls out little dishes from the bushes and begins to pour cat food into them.

He holds out a hand to a seemingly random bush, and Nobara's eyes widen a little in surprise when a small nose pokes out to sniff it.

Eventually, a meow sounds in the darkness of the evening, and several cats of all different sizes and colors begin to slink out of shadows and bushes, tentatively making their way to the food and beginning to eat.

Gojo sensei carefully pets a dirty white calico, his lips twitching into a small, genuine smile as the cat nudges into his palm and licks it.

Nobara turns to Getou sensei, chuckling at the expression on his face, all wide eyes and parted lips and pink cheeks. It's almost disgustingly adoring.

"You know," she says, just to hammer the point home, "I never really saw Gojo sensei as a kind person, but now... Well, Getou sensei, I think he fits your type exactly."

She hears Getou sensei take in a sharp breath and turns away, slowly approaching the cats.

Way to go, Nobara!  She praises internally, smiling when a black cat allows her to pet it.

----------

It works. Somehow, by some miracle, it works . Or, at least, Nobara thinks it does, because now Getou sensei seems to be unable to look away from Gojo sensei whenever they're in the same room. Nobara swears she even saw him blush once when Gojo sensei pulled him into a side-hug.

Getou sensei straight up mopes when Gojo sensei has to go away on a mission for a few days, and hugs him in front of all of them when he returns. Remembering the expression on Gojo sensei's face when he'd done it never fails to make Nobara laugh. He'd honest-to-god blushed, jaw dropping like he was short circuiting.

That day, Gojo sensei drops a souvenir into Nobara's hands with a sombre expression.

"I have no idea how you did it," Gojo sensei tells her, uncharacteristically quiet and awed, "But I think Suguru realized he actually likes me as more than a friend."

She hears the unspoken thank you .

Nobara just grins, shoving the keychain into her pocket. "Get me chocolates next time," she says instead of you're welcome. "The expensive kind."

----------

Now they just need to make sure Getou sensei realizes Gojo sensei likes him back, because Nobara is painfully aware of how dense he can be.

This time, it's Itadori who comes up with the plan. She's so proud. She must be rubbing off on him.

They do it at dinner, when Gojo sensei and Getou sensei are both there together.

"Gojo sensei," Nobara starts, because it would definitely be suspicious if anyone else asked, "I heard from Maki senpai that you didn't go on a second date with that one non shaman you liked. Why do you keep rejecting everyone who seems interested in you?"

Getou sensei pauses with his chopsticks held to his mouth. Gojo sensei probably catches on immediately, but he hums and plays along. "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm just curious, especially since you don't let us keep a single detail about our love lives private."

"Alright, if you want to know so badly, I'll tell you~ I can't date a non-shaman," Gojo sensei says through a mouthful of rice, which is very gross to watch, "because they'd totally get killed."

"Ah," Fushiguro interjects, "That makes sense. No shaman with an ounce of common sense would want to date you, so I suppose you'll stay single."

"Megumiii," Gojo sensei whines, thankfully done chewing, "So cruel. Tons of shamans want to date the almighty Gojo Satoru. I just don't like any of them back."

"Sure," Nobara snorts, "You just happen to not like every single shaman who asks."

"I have a very specific type," Gojo sensei huffs, and Nobara sees the window of opportunity for what it is.

"And what exactly is this type of yours?"

"Oh, you know," Gojo sensei says, a smirk growing on his face, "Dark haired, tall, pretty, strong enough to keep up with me, passionate and kind but also mischievous enough to have fun with me, knows how to keep me in check without being overbearing."

Getou sensei's chopsticks clatter onto the table, rice scattering on wood, mouth still parted.

"Yeah, you're going to be single forever," Fushiguro says.

Itadori looks constipated as he tries to hold back his laughter. Nobara relates.

----------

They get together. Nobara is very proud of herself but also kind of not, because if their pining was bad, them being together is horrible .

Seriously, if Nobara has to see them make out one more time today, she's going to stab someone. Probably Gojo sensei, since he's the one that initiates most of the god-awful PDA.

She groans, burying her head into Fushiguro's shoulder as Gojo sensei peppers Getou sensei's face with kisses, completely distracting him from the move he was teaching them.

"Take me back," She says, voice muffled in Fushiguro's uniform, "Their pining was better than this. Why did I think getting them together would be a good idea?"

Fushiguro just shrugs, offering no comfort.

She lifts her head again, making a face when she registers that they've started making out. Again.

It's then that Maki senpai walks over to them, whistling as she watches their teachers suck face. "Damn, Nobara, you actually got them to date?"

Maki senpai rests a hand on her shoulder. "I can't believe someone actually ended their pining. Impressive."

She walks away, ponytail swaying slightly, and Nobara watches her with stars in her eyes.

"I take it all back," she says, slightly breathless, "This is so worth it."

"Gross," Fushiguro says, like he wouldn't do the same thing if it was Itadori.

--------

Extra Scenes:

Megumi, who has watched Getou sensei force Gojo sensei into being a Good Dad™, and has grown up being taken care of mostly by Getou sensei: Huh. Guess they weren't married. Wild.

----

Shoko, relieved because finally the pining is over and she doesn't have to listen to Satoru complain about his crush:

Satoru, skipping towards her happily: Shoko, you will not believe what Suguru did for me today-

Shoko, internally and externally screaming: FUCK NO

----

Yuuji, watching Nobara stare at Maki with hearts in her eyes: So you can come up with elaborate plans to end thirteen years of oblivious pining but you can't confess to your crush?

Nobara, smacking him in the back of the head without looking away from Maki : Yes. Are you sure you want to start on the topic of confessing to crushes? Because that crush  you have on Fushiguro is real obvious-

Yuuji, sweating nervously: No no. Continue.

----

How the confession happened:

Suguru, wistfully: So, passionate and kind, huh?

Satoru, about to strangle him: I was talking about YOU, you fucking asshole

Suguru, who was somehow oblivious to this: Oh-

Satoru, being the impatient little brat he is: I have waited like, thirteen years for this. Can we just kiss already?

Suguru, very confused but still in love with the idiot: Sure

pic cre. @za_yess on Twitter