Ben Chilwell hadn't done much since his break up with his girlfriend, Estella Hanlon. They had been together for two years when he decided to call things off. Ben didn't regret his decision but he regretted letting things get to where they were. It meant that he had no choice but to break up with Estella. It broke his heart having to say goodbye to the woman that he loved so much but it was the best thing for both of them.

Ben had been to training, played matches at the weekend and even hung out with James when he had begged him enough. Ben didn't feel like doing a lot and it really showed. His beard had grown quite a bit since the break up which was almost two months ago now. His house was a mess. He didn't clean or tidy anymore. He didn't have anyone to split the chores with anymore and that hurt him. He also didn't have Estella to nag him to wash the dishes after dinner. His mail had grown to be a mountainous pile in his hallway. Ben saw it every time he had to go to training but he didn't pick any of it. He was positive that it was all bills but he had hired an accountant to go through all of it anyway. It didn't worry ben in the slightest.

One day after training, James Maddison, Ben's best friend, decided to go home with Ben. James had thought that a good game of FIFA would help distract him.

James had never been through a break up as bad as what was Ben was going through. The blonde boy had never seen his best friend so distraught and depressed. It made James worry. He had no idea what ben was going through and he didn't know how to help him. James had tried so many different distractions. He had thought of setting up a tinder profile for the defender but ben immediately shut down the idea. FIFA and food were the only things that seemed to help ease the pain just a little bit.

When James followed ben into the larger than necessary house that he had bought as soon as he moved out of the shared place with Estella, James tried not to slip on the multiple envelopes in Ben's hallway.

"Ben, mate, I think you should at least pick these up. They're a bit unsafe being here." James bent down and picked up some of the letters. He shuffled through them to make sure that Ben hadn't missed anything important. They were mostly all letters from various different companies enquiring about bills that needed to be paid but the footballer was aware of the accountant that Ben had hired.

James was about to throw them down on the cabinet in the hallway when a neatly written envelope caught his eye. He continued to shuffle through the pile and found that there were at least three envelopes with the same familiar handwriting. James wasn't sure how he recognised the handwriting. Perhaps it had been a birthday card that he received or a member of Ben's family had written him some letters. Not knowing who had sent them, James walked through to the living room where he found ben to be setting up the Xbox and drinking a can of beer.

"I found these in your mail pile. I think it's from family or something so I thought that you should see them." The boy handed over the three envelopes to Ben and the blonde watched as his best friend froze.

"These are from Estella." Ben whispered, his hands tracing over the neat penmanship of his ex girlfriend. He had recognised her handwriting almost instantly. Estella was a writer. She didn't like using technology so he used to find stray pieces of paper lying around their shared house with her words detailing a whole new world that she had created in her mind.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I can take-" James tried to reach for the letters and remove them from Ben's grasp but the younger of the two boys was having none of it. These letters were for him and they were from Estella, his Estella. He needed to know what was in them.

Ben had been ignoring Estella's texts for a while. He figured that a bit of distance is what they both needed to heal but perhaps it wasn't since his ex girlfriend was now penning letters addressed to him. Maybe something had happened to her and she needed him. All sorts of different scenarios ran through his head and he wanted nothing more than to rip open the envelope and find out what was inside.

That's what he did.

Ben carefully ripped open the first envelope, then the second and finally the third. he had no idea which letter came first but he read them in the order that James had given them to him.

As he read over Estella's words, Ben found himself welling up. He knew that Estella would be hurting. It was only natural after two people end a relationship but he didn't realise that it was to this extent.

For as long as Ben had known Estella, she had been a sensitive soul. She took almost everything to heart and although it could be a weakness of her character at the best of times, Ben loved that about her. It showed him just how much she cared. She was always willing to be the best version of herself and Ben had always felt that he could follow suit.

"You alright?" James' voice tore Ben out of his thoughts and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you happen to know where I could find some paper, an envelope and a post stamp by any chance?"

a/n: an insight into how ben is going in this chapter and now he's going to write her back! thank goodness for james.

have you ever written a letter to someone?
- i have to admit, when i was like eleven, i wrote a letter to little mix. it was a random address i found on the internet 😂 they've probably never read it as well.

enjoy and stay safe!

lots of love, e x