REDAMANCY.
the act of loving in return

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

        ONE.

        Two.

        "T-Thr-ee-eee-", Chenle huffed out, taking a third step with his feet wobbling crazily. He bites his lip anxiously as his grip on the hot bowl of chicken soup firms up, making sure that it won't fall. But despite it burning his fingertips, he doesn't hesitate to engulf the bowl in his tiny hands, holding it properly and releasing a soft squirm in discomfort.

        Chenle laid a foot down another step, a heavy sigh escaping his lips which he was nibbling on unconsciously. His mouth opens ajar after slightly tripping over thin hair, however we managed to get a grip of himself before he could completely collapse down the floor.

        Despite being the clumsy boy he is, Chenle managed to reach the top of the flight of stairs with no harm done, but sure, he did beat a sweat.

        As he finally took the last step, Chenle squealed out of victory, simply amused by finally achieving what he has been doing for so long now.

        With the chicken soup in his hand, he puts on a cute grin, shrugging his shoulders happily and his toes wiggling in his little joyride.

        But then,

        he just remembered.

        After doing a victory dance, Chenle managed to calm himself down.

        He breathes heavily and pans his head to the side—

        Oh, right.

        The smile on his face falls as he remembers his whole purpose to be here, with piping-hot chicken soup on his hands.

        "J-Ji..."

        Chenle mumbled softly as his eyes droop gloomily, looking at the door with sadness overcoming his system.

        He was sad and nervous at the same time.

        But he won't let the others down. They counted on him to take care of Jisung, especially in his miserable state.

        And Jisung was counting on him, too.

        His feet had already involuntarily brought himself infront of Jisung's bedroom door, and he would be lying if he'd say he wasn't nervous.

        Chenle's hands were already sweating bullets, and let's not even get to his forehead, which was practically dripping wet with the amount of anxiety filling his system. And not to mention his heart rate, beating at tremendous speeds that aren't humane at all.

        A lump ran down his throat as he carefully balanced the hot bowl of soup in one hand, while the other was painfully slowly reaching in for the doorknob.

        He clenched his teeth while he twists the doorknob carefully, and within seconds, he's done a full three-sixty.

        Chenle's heart was beating so loudly, he swore everyone could've heard it.

        He chews on his bottom lip nervously as he takes one, small step forward.

        He steps in the room and closes the door, being as silent as possible,

        —but the door didn't cooperate unlike what Chenle had planned initially.

        And immediately, a boy lying in-bed shot his eyes wide open.

Their eyes met, their heartbeats fast, their breathing heavy, their hearts hurting.

"J-Jisung?"

Chenle croaked out in a soft voice, feeling uncomfortable under the younger's heavy gaze, but being unable to break out of it.

Those eyes.

Those eyes he fell for. Those eyes he got lost in.

Chenle was struck, unable to move as he was seemingly glued down the wooden floor.

"Lele?"

Jisung loved how that name rolled off his tongue.

But he had to remember his place.

"I-I mean, Chenle."

Chenle frowned. He, too, misses that name.

        That name that Jisung would always call him, may it be in casual conversations or during their lovely cuddle sessions.

        That name, that holds a lot of precious memories.

       
Chenle could feel his cheeks flaring up, and he could only cough to break their staring contest. He went back to his senses and took slow, small steps towards the younger. His heart was doing flips in his chest and was increasing in speed every inch he moved closer.

He managed to avoid Jisung's gaze, but he could feel it following him wherever he went.

Chenle settled the bowl of hot chicken soup on the bedside table and sat at the edge of the bed, distancing himself from Jisung as far as possible.

        Jisung saw how Chenle was scooting farther and farther from him, and he unconsciously purses his lips and droops his eyes sadly.

        He didn't like Chenle distancing himself from him.

        He saw the boy uncomfortably sitting at the very edge of the bed, which probably wasn't supporting his body any longer. Chenle had a hint of pain in his features, which only made Jisung frown even more.

        "Hey."

        Chenle shot his head towards the younger who was lifting himself up to sit on the bed. The younger was patting down the empty space beside him, signalling Chenle to sit down there.

        "Here, there's still some space," Jisung added, lifting his head to look at Chenle's reaction.

        Chenle tilted his head up to meet Jisung's gaze, and he could only smile.

        A fake one, that is.

        "Hm, it's okay," Chenle curved the sides of his lips up in a forced smile, politely declining Jisung's offer.

        But Jisung knew that wasn't the case.

        "Chenle, I know it isn't okay," Jisung pouted his lips and crossed his arms, turnng to Chenle in dismay.

        "I know you. After all, you're my..."

        Jisung was taken aback by what had just involuntarily escaped his lips. He ignored Chenle's gaze and looked away, blinking his eyes slowly and trying to find the right words to say.

        "Y-You're my..."

        Jisung was a stammering mess. He didn't know what to say.

        What are they?

        Is there even a 'them'?

        A big lump ran down his throat.

        "You're my... friend!"

        Friend? Jisung didn't like how that sounded.

        And neither did Chenle. He didn't like how 'friend' was associated with him and Jisung.

        He wanted it to be more than friends.

        Lovers?

        Chenle heaved out a sigh. He was so pathetic. So pathetic to think that someone who loves another so dearly, would still love him in return.

        So pathetic to think that Jisung ever did love him.

         Chenle sighed in defeat and scooted a little closer, just enough to at least look comfortable and not like he's struggling or something. He was still minding the soace between him and Jisung,

        After finding a nice, comfy position to sit, he turned back to the bowl of chicken soup.

        ''So," Chenle spoke with the no emotion at all.

        "Here's your breakfast..."

        Jisung was already smiling ear-to-ear. Just the thought of Chenle feeding him hot chicken soup was enough to warm up his insides and feel all fuzzy. Let alone being with Chenle, which would always make his heart go crazy.

        "Do you like chicken soup?" Chenle questioned, snapping Jisung out of his trance while the older sat their, hoping for a positive answer.

        Jisung grinned widely.

        "Anything's fine for me!", the younger bursted out in a sudden mood swing, from being gloomy and lifeless to excited and elated. He nodded his head violently, his smile showing a bit of his adorable front teeth and his eyes curving into cute crescent moon-like eye smiles.

        Chenle unconsciously let out a soft giggle.

        Just seeing Jisung so happy would make himself happy too.

        "Well, I'm glad, because you have no choice," Chenle added followed by a sly smirk playing on his lips.

        Jisung chuckled lightly, playing with the hem of the blanket still having a toothy smile plastered on his face. Chenle was busy picking up the spoon and dipping it back in the soup, scooping out just a little bit. He raised it near his face and blew on the hot soup, warming it up.

        "Say ah!"

        Chenle brought the spoon closer to Jisung with a big grin on his lips, and seeing Jisung with furrowed brows had only caused even more laughs to escape his lips.

        "Jisung! JISUNG!", Chenle whined, bringing the spoon even closer to him. Jisung's cheeks heated up in
embarrassment, stuck in a daze of shock and surprise.

        Jisung eyed the spoon reluctantly, not so sure whether or not he'd take in the spoon and gulp down the soup.

But Chenle kept insisting, and having no other choice, Jisung opened his mouth widely and in an instant, he brings the spoon inside his mouth and gulps down the soup, feeling warmth running through his throat and feeling satisfied.

        The two were a giggling mess, with loud, high-pitched giggles escaping Chenle's lips and Jisung clapping his hands together in the ecstatic moment they were having.

        They were happy.

        Genuinely happy.

        As their laughter died down, the room slowly became silent. After laughng for a good minute or two Chenle retreated back to the bowl of soup, probably preparing another spoonful.

        And meanwhile Jisung, had other thoughts.

        "Lele?"

        There he is again, flustered by that nickname.

         That name. That name that never failed to make his heart flutter.

        Chenle could feel his heart rate increasing its speed as seconds passed.

        Chenle would always feel weak on his knees with that nickname. Reluctantly, he puts his focus away from any other thing, and slowly, he tilts his head up just a little bit.

And immediately, his eyes catch a glimpse of Jisung's dark brown orbs.

Those orbs, that when you fall into them, you can never fall out.

        "Chenle..."

        Chenle unknowingly placed down the bowl on the bedside table, putting all his attention on the younger who was sitting on the bed.

        The atmosphere suddenly grew thick, but somehow, in a good way.

        "You know what," Jisung started bluntly, fumbling with the hem of his knit sweater. He was looking all round the room, but for some reason he couldn't get himself to stare back at Chenle.

        "Uhm, uhmmm..." Jisung slumped his back down, with his head hung low and looking for the right words to say.

        Chenle stared at him, puzzled, confused. He didn't know what he was doing, or what he will do. All he did was sit there, oblivious, looking at Jisung with bewilderment.

        "Uhhh... I don't know..." Jisung groaned, scratching his head profusely in frustration. The boy kept releasing random strings of groans and grunts and incoherent mumbles, with his eyebrows furrowed in evident fury.

Jisung suddenly took a halt, stopping everything he was doing, and took a deep breath.

        "It's just that..."

        Jisung's sudden change of tone puzzled Chenle. His voice was suddenly soft, barely audible, and somewhat shy. Unlike the loud and infuriated tone earlier, now was more sincere, more gentle with that sense of love and care.

        Chenle tilted his head, seeing Jisung's face suddenly turn a bright shade of red. He was nibbling on his bottom lip and was playing with his fingers nervously.

        Jisung's breath hitched.

        "Chenle, I miss you."

        Chenle furrowed his brows.

        Was he hearing the right things?

        Chenle could only stare back at Jisung with pure confusion drawn all over his face.

         "What?"

         Oh no. Bad move, Jisung thought to himself as he sweat bullets on his forehead.

        "U-uh, I-I mean, w-wait!"

        Jisung lets out a nervous chuckle with a sheepish smile, rubbing his nape nervously. The boy starts to panick as he clutches a fistful of hair on his head and groans. "No! Like, what I mean is, We haven't been talking a lot... And, you know, I kinda missed talking to you."

        Suddenly, all of Jisung's inner thoughts splurged out of his mouth, rolling off his tongue carelessly as he ranted about everything he has been bottling up. All his feelings, all his emotions.

All the pain.

        "I miss you. You don't know how many nights I've endured, how much tears I've shed, feeling so miserable without my Lele by my side. Without your beautiful smile, your angelic laugh, your warm comfy hugs, and your lips on mine—Chenle, I've grown so crazy. So crazy for you."

"Your lips, that do wonders to mine. Moving swiftly in a soft motion and pulling each other closer like there's no tomorrow."

        A tear rolled out of his eyes.

        "I miss them, so much."

        By this time, Jisung had endless tears streaming down his cheeks like crazy, trickling down like a waterfall. Jisung couldn't hold back the immense pain that was bottled up inside him, which exploded right now, just like that.

        "Chenle, I miss you. I miss you as a whole. Everything about you. I miss the little bits of you, every single bit of you. I'd die just to see you. I'd take a bullet for you."

        Jisung sniffled miserably, hot tears gushing out his puffy eyes.

        "Chenle, I'm sorry."

        "I'm sorry for being so selfish, for not letting you know earlier."

"I'm sorry for not taking responsibility over the things I did."

"I'm sorry for not acting up."

"I'm sorry for not being enough."

        Jisung chuckled bitterly.

         "I'm sorry, because you didn't know the truth."

"Miri is taken."

"But I didn't take her."

Chenle had his jaw dropped.

Jisung giggled bitterly, letting out a sniffle.

        "Love hurts. It truly does. And I've endured it, a lot."

"... Because I liked Miri."

        Did you hear that?

The sound of a broken heart.

        "But I love you even more."

        "Chenle, I love you, so, so, so much, you don't even know how much I love you. You are so important to me, and I don't know what I would do without you. You're my happiness, you're my life. You're my everything. You always brighten up my day. You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel loved. I love you, so, so, so, so-"

        Jisung was caught off short, so abruptly.

        When he felt a pair of lips against his.

        Jisung widened his eyes as reality hits.

        Chenle pulls away with a satisfied smile on his face.

        "You talk too much."

        "C-Chenle what w-was that?!" Jisung yelled with the reddest cheeks in the world, tear strolling down his flushed cheeks.

        Chenle scoots closer and rubs his thumb on Jisung's pink cheeks, softly caressing them and wiping away the tears.

        "I love you."

        Chenle lets out a toothy smile as he cups the younger's cheeks. Jisung couldn't help but giggle, their hearts beating in sync at rapid speeds.

        Chenle lifts himself up and crawled on the bed, making his way near Jisung and nestling himself on top of him. He straddles the younger's lap and faced him with a small smile.

Instantly, Jisung smashes their lips together, moving slowly and in-sync, engulfed in the infinite bliss and ectacy of the heavenly kiss.

A kiss they waited for for ages.

Sparks flew everywhere, signifying the explosive love they had for each other.

All the risks and obstacles they faced, the overcame.

Chenle kissed the boy back as he wraps his arms around Jisung's waist while the younger wraps his on Chenle's neck, pulling even closer for a deeper kiss. Their lips move sloppily and feverishly on each other, showing how much they have been craving for each others' touch.

The two pull away, breathing heavily, their hearts beating fastly and their foreheads pressed on each others'.

"I love you too."

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

        ❀ | a/n !
— fINALLY A CHAPTER AFTER SO LONGG EEEEEEEE
— enjoy the chensung stuff :D
— kinda fixed a bit of stuff bc i wasnt happy with it but i think its nice now
[ revised 190910 ]
— HYUCKHAN !