LA DOULEUR EXQUISE.
the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

        "Chenle! Chenle!".

        Jisung bangs on the door.

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        "DO YOU HEAR THAT?", Renjun whispered as he ran his hand through Jaemin's soft brown locks. The younger fluttered his eyes open, gazing at the older whose eyes were heavy-lifded and barely open. A chuckle escaped his lips as leaned closer and planted a soft peck on Renjun's cheek, flashing him a hearty smile afterwards. "Nope."

        Renjun giggled at how cute Jaemin could be,

        but in serious terms, something was off.

        "But seriously," Renjun huffed out, distress in his tone. After hearing their small conversation, Jeno woke up, opening his eyes and rolling right next to Renjun. He moves closer just enough to trace his arms around the older's waist,  enhaling his sweet scent.

        "I don't see anything wrong Lonjunnie~" the boy whined, his nose grazing the crook of his neck as he trailed wet kisses down his skin. The thought lifted off his head as Jeno starts nipping on his jaw, pressing their bare bodies together, sharing warmth. Jaemin cuddles next to Renjun, his arms around his torso. The younger inches closer and before you know it, the gap between them is non-existent. He presses a small peck on the older's swollen lips from last night. Renjun lets out a strangled whimper and tugs on the sheets, enjoying the infinite bliss that entailed each gesture he was receiving from the two.

        "Right," Renjun let out a breathy moan.

"I didn't hear anything."

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        "Fucking hell," Jisung lets out relentlessly, his body falling on the floor, his back slumping against the door. He burried his head on the palm of his hands, regret agonisingly filling up his system as he lets out a long groan.

        He rests his head on the door, heaving a big, heavy sigh.

        Hearing Chenle's sobs only broke his heart even more.

        And with the door locked, he can't just walk into the room.

        Getting on his feet, he takes heavy steps through the hallway, down the flight of stairs, and in the living room, where he luckily has a random white sweater resting atop a stack of pillows. He pulls on the hood as he made his way to the front door and twisted the silver doorknob.

        He places a foot down a step of the porch, raindrops bouncing on his shoe making soft clicking noises. He takes another step, in which he was now totally engulfed in the rain, slowly getting drenched in the cold water hitting against his skin.

Walking around the circumference of the plot, seeing huge puddles of water on the ground, and the stone grotto gradually disintegrating with the flow of the raindrops, had him thinking—thinking about what he'd tell Chenle and how he'd try to sort things out and mend their relationship together.

Which brings him in thought—

What is their relationship?

Sure, they've both shared some kisses together, and they've exchanged a few 'I love you's' to each other, and without a doubt they're both fully aware of their burning desire for each other,

but really, what are they?

        Great. He was even planning on asking Chenle to be his boyfriend later this week.

        And with the looks of it, that won't happen any time sooner.

        But here he was, scampering through the muddy yard, going roundabout the dying flower bush, and arriving right at the terrace, in hopes of getting into that room.

        In hopes of getting Chenle back.

        And in a critical moment like this, a lovestruck, hormonal teenager would always find time to think of their lover, one way or another.

But thoughts aside—

how is he going to get up there?

        Well clearly Jisung didn't think this through.

        Feeling discouraged, he looks up at the terrace and tilts his head in confusion.

        For once he tried to operate his brain, attempting to concoct a perfect plan to get up to that room.

He paces around the plot, kicking every pebble that comes across his way, balancing on the edge of a torn-out twig, and letting the cold rain soak his already freezing body.

He seemed more focus on two dead leaves racing down the streaming 'lake' than he is figuring out a way to get to Chenle in the first place.

After long minutes of strolling around, thinking of a plan, and finding out that the brown leaf went faster than the green leaf, something finally clicked into Jisung's system.

        Spotting an oak tree standing tall nearby, he approaches it in a dash, the mudwater splashing in every direction possible, and kicked his foot upwards, resting on the bark that quickly chipped off in one swift motion. Eyeing a sturdy branch, he jumps off his feet and grabs hold of the trunk with his two—rather strong—hands, his breathing growing shallow as he stays hanging longer and the pressure building up.

        He puffs his chest up and down, looking frantically for another step up. Tilting his head up, he spies a stray branch he could step onto to get up to a higher point. And so he reaches forward, and grasps onto it with all his might. As he'd made his move successfully, he jabs a foot upwards, just enough for his shoe to grip onto it, and with one last motion he lunges his body upwards with the help of his other hand clenching a random twig, and up onto a higher branch which was luckily, nearer to the terrace front.

         His body feeling all wobbly, Jisung balances himself on a wider, broader tree branch, panting heavily as he scrunches his nose and lets out a small groan.

        Almost all the energy in him has been exhausted, but that didn't stop him. Not when he's this close to Chenle.

       
        Glancing towards the terrace only encouraged him even more.

        He wanted to see Chenle.

         Say sorry, fix everything.

        Make him his.

        Persistence filling his system, he pounces forward, and with all his strength, grabs tightly onto the rail, his other hand reaching out beside.

        Now he was dangling on the edge of the terrace.

         He could fall any second now, hurt himself, break a few bones, even die if it was that bad.

        But it was Chenle we're talking here.

        Jisung was willing to give up anything for Chenle, whether it means simple sacrifices or risking his well-being.

        Jisung loves Chenle. Nothing's going to change that.

        Seeing the exterior walls of the house, Jisung jabbed his foot on a random ledge, climbing up the walls with his hands holding some tree branches poking at him. And in one, fast, risky move, he lunges forward, his body practically flying at the terrace.

        A loud thud echoed around the confines of the area, signifying that Jisung had just hit the cemented floor really hard. He lets out a long, pained groan as he rubbed his hips and shoulders to soothe the oozing pain. He clenches is teeth while hissing at the pain that he's sure that it's going to bruise.

        But soon he disregarded the pain, looking up,

reality hits.

The moist glass door seemed like it was begging to be opened, and Jisung stood up on his feet as fast as he can despite the aching pain on his body. He takes a step forward and slowly presses his ear on the cold, moist door, and couldn't help but feel so goddamn stupid.

For hurting a small boy inside that very room,

Sobs escaping his lips, tears strolling down his cheeks.

And all so suddenly, he can't seem to move.

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

❀ | a/n !
— sorry for not updating for like 3 days it's either im bored or im bored or my parents drag me to church or the mall so 🤷‍♀️ just guess which ones which
— HYUCK WITH MF BROWN HAIR SKSKDIWSIUDJDJWNWNW STEP ON ME GAY KING
— HYUCKHAN !