⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ Fate of a Variable ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

"Agh, stupid alarm!"

The harsh, blaring sound of an alarm clock tore through the silence, jolting Beomgyu out of his peaceful slumber. He groaned, feeling around blindly for the snooze button, finally finding it and silencing the offending noise. With a sleepy pout on his face, he drew the comforter over his head, wanting nothing more than to stay cocooned in the warmth of the covers.

He inhaled deeplythe familiar scent of Yeonjun filled his nostrils.
The duvet, the smell; it wasn't his. Beomgyu sleepily blinked his eyes, his vision adjusting to the bright light around himself as his sight cleared, blinking open to be greeted with the sight of Yeonjun's bedroom's ceiling.

"Yeonjun's bedroom...? His bed?...oh..OHHHH!!" It was as if all the drowsiness was sucked out of him, and Beomgyu opened his eyes with a jolt, remembering the events of last night.

The power outage, the call, Yeonjun coming back, kissing and making love.

"Oh my god...fuck." Beomgyu cursed, looking at himself to find himself sleeping wearing just one of Yeonjun's shirt, which was a bit oversized on him, and then everything dawned upon him.

He fucked up. He fucked up so bad oh dear lord.

The realisation of him messing up things was even more confirmed when he found he was alone in the bed with no sign of Yeonjun around.

"No way, I bet Yeonjun hates me now." Beomgyu groaned, holding his head in his hands. Why did he do this to himself? He broke the damn rule!! It was just day five, and he took things too fast in the heat of the moment, without knowing Yeonjun's feelings.

What if Yeonjun just went along for his sake? Or in the heat of the moment? He didn't say he wanted it...it was him who encouraged him! Okay, he should calm down and not panic, what if he was overthinking again?

"What do I do now...?" Beomgyu was on the verge of tears, pulling and tugging ay his hair, wanting to disappear. Why can't he do things right for once?

"Okay, let's calm down and find Yeonjun first." He took a deep breath, and got out of the bed, feeling his legs wobble a little. God, why did he had to be reminded of yesterday night right now from this?

He sighed, and walked into his own room across the hall, putting on some pants and fixing his bed-hair, making his way downstairs to look for Yeonjun.

"Yeonjun?" He called out as he entered the kitchen, only to be greeted by the maid Ms.Yu.

"Goodmorning Beomgyu-shii, Yeonjun-shii is already out for work. He told me to prepare breakfast for you." Ms.Yu replied with a polite smile, placing the freshly made Pancakes infront of him.

The presentation was marvelous, decorated with his favourite strawberries and Chocolate syrup, which would make his mouth water on a usual day, but now all he wanted to do was throw up.

His suspicion was right.

Yeonjun was avoiding him.

Tears pooled into his eyes, making them glossy and watery; his pink lips trembling from trying to prohibit any sounds getting out. The regret of messing things up and ruining what he built in almost a week gone down the drain dawned on him like a rainfall, as he found himself standing at ground zero once again.

First Soobin, now Yeonjun. No wonder it never works for him when it comes to Love. Should he just give up at this point and disappear from the face of this earth? Was he that unlovable and needy?

"Beomgyu-shii?" Ms.Yu questioned, wondering why the young-man was suddenly oddly quiet. Usually he was always cherry and chipper in the morning, greeting her and praising her cooking, so why was he so solemn and down right now?

"Sorry Ms.Yu, I don't feel like eating today. Can you please keep it for later?" Beomgyu whispered, hiding his trembling voice and inner turmoil, turning around and making his way out of the kitchen quickly, without further explaination.

Ms.Yu just stood there, dumbfounded and confused. She had never seen Beomgyu in a sad and distraught mood in mornings, no matter what, and it concerned her. She wanted to ask if he was okay, but it wasn't her place to do so, so she just continued to do her work, leaving after it was done.

Beomgyu meanwhile, had locked himself up in his room and texted Ms.Kim that he won't be coming to the University today, and take a one-day leave; to which she thankfully responded quicky and said she'll take care of it.

So now, here he was; sobbing into his pillow and trying to make sense of his emotions and how he could have handled the situation together.

"I lost my last chance...I thought I could make this marriage work.." he cried into his pillow, soaking it with tears as his body wracked with sobs.

"Why can't I do things right for once? Why do I mess things up everytime? It was going so good... why am I so greedy?"

Why why why, that's all Beomgyu could ask himself. Why's.

He felt helpless and dumb, dumb for believing he could change things just so easily, and by being impatient and needy.

He repeated the past once again.

He asked for too much.

That's what happens, when you use a short-cut formula to solve an equation. The sum might be altered in a wrong path and you get incorrect solution. It's a risk with probability, and probability is never a sure 100% and constant value...is it?

"But what about how much I give? Why can no one accept the amount of love I give? Is it too overwhelming?"

"Maybe, all I'll ever be, is a dumb Variable. Never a constant."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Well well well, Hello my Luvs!
Here we go with the journey of angst, how y'all feeling? Need some tissues?

Poor Beomie, he's so pure🥹
Even I feel bad for him, but what can we do, Yeonjun is a dumbass.

Prepare for more tissues in next chapter, because we'll get a Yeonjun emotional turmoil as well, and a backstory!!

Also don't forget to vote pls T-T It motivates me to write faster hehe! >_< Next chapter will be updated after 40 Votes!!

Well, that's it for now, see you in the next one Luvs! Take care!! Byee!
-Rin💗