𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄:
Choosing herself
(1950 - 1970)

ELOISE HAS EXPERIENCED EVERY STAGE OF GRIEF OVER THE YEARS SINCE JASPER LEFT.

DENIAL.

It felt as if he had never left that he was still there by her side.

She could feel his presence beside her wherever she went.

It was not easy to accept her own decision-making, though she was oblivious to her own emotions.

She could still feel her entire soul connected to his, reaching out, calling to its other half. Even though she never did anything.

It was for the best.

It was for the best.

It was for the best.

It was for the best.

It was for the best.

The words kept repeating in her head, trying to convince herself that it was.

It was easier to suffer alone than to see and know that the person she loved was suffering with her.

It was the burden and guilt to carry on her shoulders whenever Jasper pretended that he was alright when he wasn't, and Eloise never in her lifetime would allow Jasper to pretend when he was with her.

It was for the best. She whispers to herself.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

ANGER.

She hasn't felt that emotion in a long time.

Eloise was never consumed by her anger enough to commit violent acts, except if said acts were needed in times of fighting to gain and conquer territories.

However, she was angry at Maria and herself, but mostly at herself.

How could she allow herself to be manipulated and controlled by the woman she thought deserved her loyalty and gratitude for saving her life?

Why is she feeling the need to give Maria the reins to her own life?

Maybe because her heart was giving too much.

Possessing the traits of optimism, Maria could possibly change if the wars and the need for power and revenge subsided, but she never did.

Eloise knows that her heart is too big for the life she's living.

Perhaps she has seen too much cruelty, poverty, inequality, selfishness, and greed.

In her life, kindness is a rare occurrence, but if one cannot find it, then one should simply be the one who is kind.

And Eloise wanted to be just that.

But how could she give kindness if kindness was not even given by the world?

She was angry at herself for what she had become and what she had allowed to happen.

Anger can really consume one's very being, and Eloise lets it.

She needed to feel it, to let it out.

And she did.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

BARGAINING.

The "what ifs" constantly plagued Eloise's thoughts.

What if she gained the courage and acted on the thought of leaving in her first few years of this life?

What if Maria never turned her? Would she and Jasper have met in a different lifetime?

What if she left with him?

What if Jasper's assistance was never needed? Would he ever be turned? Perish in the war? Or lived a short but happy human life, old and gray, dying of old age.

Would she ever feel the love he gave? Or given by another?

Though she could never, ever imagine someone loving her other than Jasper or him loving someone else other than her.

Their love was one of a kind, written by the stars and aligned by the infinite cosmos in the starry night skies.

Their love was an amount too boundless to count.

Eloise finds herself wishing she could go back and change things in the hope that things could have turned out differently.

It was all wishful thinking.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

MELANCHOLY

It had never occurred to Eloise that she would feel the sadness of loneliness that she had felt when the reality of living a life of bloodshed and death surrounded her.

She felt the melancholy of her life once more, but this time she had no one to lean on, no one to pour her heart out to, no one to kiss her frowning lips, no one.

And she felt miserable.

Yet she couldn't find herself weeping, instead staring at the surroundings before her with deep longing.

It was as if time slowed down, and the need to survive the day, to continue with another, struck her like a spiritless bag in her back; the weight was too much to carry, to go on, to move forward.

She had hoped that Jasper was not feeling the same as she was.

Even Maria noticed her actions and her eyes that conveyed numbness and emptiness that she needed to do something.

And so Maria will.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

ELOISE KNEW MARIA LIKE THE BACK OF HER HAND.

Every thought, every tactic, every strategy, every move, that she could unravel the secret Maria had been keeping from her for the past month.

And after carefully and calculatedly snooping through Maria's tent, she found a rolled paper hidden among the rolled stacks of the South maps, filled with information about a coven of vampires in Calgary.

She had to admit Maria's connections were clever.

The Cullens.

Consisting of their year of birth and year of transition. Their full names, origins, professions, and even degrees that they took over the years and the year they joined the coven.

The one that intrigued her the most was the Coven leader named Carlisle Cullen, who used to be a member of the Volturi but left after two decades to continue his life in the New World and became a doctor.

A doctor? How could a vampire be a doctor? Being surrounded by patients that are wounded and bloody 24/7 must be a test of his restraint that is clearly there. Eloise thought, and she couldn't help but feel impressed.

And learning that they feed off animal blood made her curious and slightly disgusted.

As she read through the files, a name caught her full attention.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

JASPER WHITLOCK-HALE

Born: 1844 (Houston, Texas)

Changed: 1863

Joined: 1950

Degrees:

Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy

Bachelor of Science in Psychology

Notes: One of the newest members of the Coven, along with another named Mary Alice Brandon, was a nomad before he joined the Cullen Coven. Taking another Coven member's surname for the sake of blending in amongst the humans.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Eloise smiled to herself as she read the notes that were scribbled rather hastily on the paper.

Jasper found a coven to reside in, and reading through the other coven member's information, they seemed to be a good company to keep, and she felt happy for him.

Especially because of their diet. Jasper wouldn't feel the pain and guilt of taking another human life to fulfill his appetite.

And that was when Eloise knew what Maria was planning to do.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

ELOISE DISCRETELY FOLLOWED MARIA AS SHE MADE HER WAY TOWARD CALGARY.

Eloise made Maria think that she was completely oblivious to what she intended to do, and that was to bring Jasper back to their Coven.

And she would never allow that to happen.

She knew there was a good chance of seeing Jasper. She was in the wrong headspace and emotional capacity to see him because she now knew herself and that she knew that she would easily give in at the sight of him.

And that couldn't happen. She needed to prevent things like this from happening, like Maria's plan to convince Jasper to come back.

She sees Maria conversing with another vampire with a short, petite figure, an adorable small face, and a pixie cut that reminded her of her old friend Charlotte.

Listening in, the pixie-headed vampire told Maria that the rest of the Coven were out hunting and would be gone for a few days.

That Maria should come back at another time.

That was when Eloise decided to interfere.

"That's enough, Maria," Eloise says sternly as she walks towards Maria with a glare, her gaze shifting to the other vampire, who is giving her an enthusiastic smile.

"Eloise," Maria's voice radiated in shock, but was quickly washed away by the realization that Eloise had been following her every move and knew her so well that the plan she tried to keep secret was unraveled from the beginning.

"Let's leave Jasper's new coven in peace, shall we? Haven't you done enough?" Eloise asks Maria with a tilt of her head.

And Maria just purses her lips in anger.

"Your condition is worsening, and we need Jasper to come back. We're slowly losing territories because of it." Maria says with gritted teeth and a stiff posture.

While the pixie vampire watched the interaction as if she had seen it before.

"Well, why haven't you said so? I would have just ignored my own emotions and killed enemies left and right for you." Eloise says in her tone of mockery as she rolls her eyes and continues with a determined voice, "Go back, Maria, this is a fight you will not win,"

Maria walked towards her with a deep glare, "And you will come back with me. If not, I will find you, Eloise," With that statement, she was gone.

Eloise then looks at the vampire apologetically and says, "I am deeply sorry for the inconvenience. I do suggest moving locations from time to time from now on, so Maria can't find you easily."

The pixie then happily skips towards her and hands out her hand for her to shake and introduces herself, "I'm Alice Cullen,"

Eloise chuckles and takes her hand, gently shaking it, and says, "Eloise Hareton,"

Alice giggles and says, "I know. Jasper has mentioned you before, although he keeps pretty much every bit of information about you to himself,"

Eloise grins. Jasper knew how much Eloise valued privacy.

"You and I will be great friends!" Alice exclaims happily, "Come on, inside,"

Eloise then shakes her head, already knowing what Alice's intentions are, "I can't join your Coven, Alice," her tone with dismay and sadness.

Alice frowns. She was not expecting that. "Why not?"

"If I come along, she'll never leave your coven alone. She'll start a war, and I don't want Jasper to go through that again," Eloise says with a painful smile.

Alice nods in understanding, "You're always welcome to join us,"

"When the right time comes, I'll gladly accept," Eloise gives her an appreciative smile, knowing that if she decides to leave. Peter and Charlotte would want her to join them.

"I should be going," Eloise then says reluctantly, her eyes glancing towards Alice and the other members of the Coven residing in.

It was a large house, but not large enough to be a mansion. The interior was simple and classy, and it radiated a family home.

"Could I ask you for something?" Eloise asks, and Alice nods eagerly.

"Can I have a pen and some paper? I would like to write Jasper a message." Alice smiles and rushes inside the house and then exits for just a quick moment with a pen and paper.

"You could write here," Alice suggests, pointing to the patio, and Eloise sits down, takes a deep breath, and writes everything she wants him to know before folding the paper and handing it to Alice.

"Please give it to him," Eloise says as she stands up and continues, "And Alice, be his friend, be there for him when I couldn't,"

"Of course, El. Here-" Alice says, handing her a piece of paper. Eloise unfolds it and sees written addresses. "Those are the locations I think we will be residing in. You can always join us whenever you like,"

"Thank you, Alice, you're already a good friend," Eloise giggles along with Alice, and the pixie says, "Take care of yourself, El."

"You too, Ali,"

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

"MANKIND'S TECHNOLOGY IS ADVANCING, MARIA. WE COULD EASILY EXPOSE OURSELVES TO THE HUMANS BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS." Eloise tells Maria agitatedly.

They both know that the Volturi are keeping a close eye on them and their activities with the newborns and the business they have been handling across the South.

"Isn't the power, wealth, and revenge we gained throughout the century not enough for you? We're putting ourselves in danger." Eloise continues as she paces back and forth.

"The Volturi will eventually leave us alone," Maria reasons and Eloise chuckles in disbelief.

"Will they now? You have been making wars and fighting covens for a century and have a grasp on the South and the power that they want. Admit it, Maria, we're a threat to them that they need to eliminate. We will not win a fight against them. They are too powerful with their gifts." As Eloise rambles the facts, she stops her pacing and says, "You need to let go of some of the cities,"

"No!" Maria exclaims in disagreement. The thought of letting go of the cities they conquered from other Covens made her angry. She earned those cities, and it was hers.

"Keep Monterrey," Eloise tells her, "With us having power over the whole South, the Volturi will never leave us alone. They'll reason that we are a threat to exposure of our kind,"

"I will not let that happen," Maria says in her voice, with finality.

"You have a death wish, do you? And you are willing to risk it all for power and wealth,"

"I am."

"Then I don't. I want to live first before I die an undeserving death," Eloise says as she exits Maria's tent and goes to her own.

Gathering all of her belongings, including the stacks of money, she managed to hide from Maria and the money that she earned from the businesses handled and properties owned, she guesses that the humans can handle her business from now on.

The money can last for centuries.

Maria then bursts through her tent, seeing Eloise's packing, and asks, "What are you doing?

Eloise then rolls her eyes and says, "What do you think I'm doing? You might want to risk our lives for your greed, but I don't think the Volturi will give us any mercy,"

"You cannot leave me," Maria says as she grabs Eloise's arm, with Eloise abruptly taking her hands off as if it burned her.

"That's enough, Maria. Your commands are no longer working. I want to live,"

To come home to Jasper alive.

"You will never live in peace," Maria chuckles.

Then suddenly, Peter was standing outside the tent with a knowing smile.

"I know, but it's not that hard to try, is it?" Eloise says with a grin and a challenging eyebrow. Then she was running with Peter.

And Maria let them because they both knew that Eloise was right.

And Eloise does not need saving because she saved herself.

•| ⊱✿⊰ |•

"PETER YOU ASS," Eloise laughs as she hugs Peter, with the latter hugging her back with a relieved smile.

They had just arrived outside the house where Peter and Charlotte resided.

"Is that what you call your friend who you haven't seen in decades?" Peter chuckles as he pulls away from her and encourages her to go inside their humble abode, with, of course, Charlotte greeting her with an eager hug.

"El! You're finally here!" Charlotte exclaimed, pulling away slightly, putting both of her hands on Eloise's face, with Eloise's face being squished in her hold, but Eloise was too happy to be reunited with them to be bothered.

"We have lots to catch up on," Charlotte says, taking Eloise's belongings and welcoming her inside.

It felt as if they had never been separated.

They fell into an easy and deep conversation about what happened after they left.

That the Volturi was slowly plotting their deaths if Maria never stopped her acts of greed, power, and revenge.

And Eloise isn't going to let it happen; she's got too much to lose.

Charlotte asked her if Eloise was going to take Alice's offer to join the Cullen Coven, and she just pursed her lips and said, "I'm not ready to be tied down to another coven yet, Lottie. You know how much I wanted to explore first before officially settling down. I want to see and know what I've missed for the past century."

Eloise decided to choose what she wanted; she chose herself this time.

She frowned at the mere thought of not wanting to be reunited with Jasper yet.

She needed to fulfill herself, to heal from the control, manipulation, violence, and bloodshed first.

She needs to feel like herself again, to fully love herself before she can love others so that when the time comes to be reunited with Jasper, she can give the purity of love that they both deserved.

"It's normal to feel sad after making a decision, especially if it's the right one." Charlotte tells her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, and Peter says, "He'll understand, El,"

Eloise then smiles and says, "I know, he always does,"

Acceptance.