42 | fine-ish

Hope

Everything about me is the opposite of normal.

I don't go to a normal job. I don't come from a normal family. I don't eat normal food. I don't have a normal fiancé. I don't have a normal body. I'm simply not normal. Everything about me suggests that normalcy is quite unreachable. That normalcy when it comes to someone like me is a fantasy that entertains the mind but pains the heart.

But do you know what's the closest thing I've experienced to being normal recently?

Right here, standing on an elevated circular platform while surrounded by three full length mirrors reflecting the ridiculously poofy wedding dress I have on.

"I feel like I'm the entire venue." I commented as I looked at myself in disgust. Aunt Rebekah has prepared a bunch of dresses that she had someone professionally made for me to choose from. If there's anyone I trust more to plan my wedding, it's her. But right now, the dresses are not it.

"Let's move on to the next, shall we?" Aunt Bex said while she sat on the couch beside Pepper with both of them each having a glass of champagne.

"Wait, can I just sit for a moment?" I said as I stepped off of the platform, pulling the front of the heavy skirt as I made my way towards them. Aunt Bex and Pepper moved on either side of the couch, allowing me to sit between them with the gigantic skirt of dress covering their laps.

"I didn't think it would be this hard to pick a dress." I complained as I leaned back on the couch, letting myself rest for a bit.

I have been trying on dresses for over an hour now. And none of them have completely satisfied me. I'm not picky. The dresses are just simply not me. I appreciate everything Aunt Rebekah has been doing. But none of these dresses are working. And that's my fault. Because I told her nothing of my preferences when it comes to it.

"I thought you didn't care what dress you'll be wearing? You said as long as Tony shows up it's all good." Pepper said before taking another sip of her champagne.

I did say that. Before, it didn't matter to me what dress I picked. I don't care about how I look. I left that burden to Aunt Bex. But I changed my mind.

"Yeah, but..." I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. "The closer the wedding gets, the more real everything gets. I mean, this is going to be the only wedding I'll ever have. It's important and...scary."

"You're not getting cold feet, are you?" Asked Aunt Rebekah.

Am I? No. No, of course not. Why would I have cold feet?

"No. I'm just anxious." I answered.

Yeah, I'm just nervous.

"It's normal to feel that way. It's one of the biggest moments in your entire existence." Aunt Rebekah said. "I just can't believe that you'd be the first to marry in our family."

It is weird being the youngest in the Mikaelson Family at the moment while also being the first one to get married. One would think that after a thousand years, each of them would finally find their one true love and marry. Turns out, one true love is really hard to find even if you've been spending a thousand years looking.

It just shows how lucky I am to finally find mine in such a short time.

"What about you and Marcel?" I asked.

Just like Pepper, I refuse to call him 'Uncle Marcel' simply because it would be strange as I look up to him as a brother like I treat Pepper as my sister. Marcel and Aunt Rebekah have been together for almost a decade but none of them have even tried to bring up the conversation about marriage.

"We're still a work in progress." Aunt Rebekah responded before she shifted her blue eyes toward Pepper. "What about you and Finn?"

This dress fitting appointment just turned into a relationship forum.

I turned my head to meet Pepper's eyes only for her to glance away, looking as if there's something wrong. Trouble in paradise, I presume?

"We're fine." Pepper answered. That doesn't sound fine.

"You should know by now that lying to a vampire never works." Aunt Rebekah stated.

Pepper finally returned her gaze to us, flickering her eyes between me and Aunt Rebekah with clear worry on her face. I wonder what's wrong with her and Uncle Finn.

"You're vampires." She stated.

I furrowed my eyebrows and tugged a small smile on my lips.

"Is that an insult?" I jokingly said.

"No. Of course not." She replied before sighing deeply. "You're vampires. That means in a couple more decades, I'd be old and dying and you guys will still be the same."

I'd be lying if I said that I haven't been thinking about that myself. Tony doesn't want to be a vampire, and I also refuse to condemn him to an eternity of bloodlust and remorse. But like Pepper said, someday, they'll die. I've accepted that later in life they'll be gone. What I haven't accepted is continuing to live without the love of my life. I'm not ready to live in the world without him.

"Finn...he's old fashioned, obviously. He's a romantic. He keeps saying how I'm the greatest thing that's ever happened to him and he cannot bear to lose me. But someday he will and I don't know how he'll react to that." Pepper explained.

Knowing Pepper, she doesn't want to become a vampire. And knowing Uncle Finn, he as well does not want to do that to Pepper.

Basically, in a relationship like ours, it's impossible for us to be the endgame...Unless I die with Tony.

—

I never found the right dress that day. I just don't feel anything when I wear them. And I'm supposed to feel something, right? I mean, it's my wedding dress. I'm getting married to the love of my life in that dress. It has to make me feel something.

"No fair. Why did you have your shirt on the entire time?" I said as I pulled the duvet to cover my naked body. We only just woke up but we greeted the morning with pleasure. I don't know what came over him or me, but it just happened.

"Nothing." He replied with a small smile on his face before leaning in to give me a quick but passionate kiss. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Can I join you?" I asked. Knowing Tony, he'd never turn something like that down. But for some unknown reason, he did. And I hate unknown things.

"Maybe next time." He answered with his smile slightly faltering before sitting upright and on the edge of the bed, slipping on his bottoms before making his way towards the bathroom.

I feel like he's hiding something from me. But I promised him that I wouldn't look into his head without his permission. Troubles of the past, he says. He doesn't want me seeing those. And I understand. I mean, I wouldn't let him see mine. God knows how messed up that is.

But he's keeping something from me and we don't do that. It's concerning.

—

I tried to push that thought about this morning away as Tony and I traveled to Monaco with Pepper and Happy. Natasha—who is now Pepper's assistant— had already arrived there first.

All of us climbed out of the vehicle and the crowd near the entrance of the building cheered at the sight of Tony Stark standing before them. As expected, Tony relishes in the praises and love that they have given him as he raises a hand up, showing his two fingers making a peace sign.

"You know, it's Europe. Whatever happens in the next 20 minutes, just go with it." Tony told Pepper and I when we've finally reached the inside of the building.

"Go with it? Go with what?" Pepper asked.

I didn't bother to ask. When Tony says something like that, it means that he'll be doing something very Tony-like and we'll have to just sit back and watch it happen.

"Mr. Stark, Ms. Mikaelson, Ms. Potts." And there she is, the S.H.I.E.L.D. shadow.

Why does Fury have to involve a spy to look after Tony when I'm already doing it for him? Unless there's something I don't know.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid again.

"How was your flight?" Asked Natasha.

"It was excellent." Tony answered.

"We have one more photographer from the ACM, if you don't mind." Natasha said.

"That's my cue to leave." I said but Tony held my hand to stop me from walking away.

"No, we're taking a picture." Tony complained.

"Not fond of them." I answered before gently pulling away from Tony's grasp. I like pictures, but not when it's gonna go on news and magazines.

Natasha isn't exactly someone Pepper hired to be her assistant. She's someone I hired for her. Yes, I did that. When I visited S.H.I.E.L.D. and talked to Fury about Natasha, he asked me to arrange the papers for Natasha to become Pepper's assistant. He first asked to let her be Tony's assistant but I said no.

I didn't mean that with disrespect. It's just that...Pepper is Tony's only assistant that I absolutely love. We even treat each other as sisters. Besides, Tony doesn't need an assistant anymore, he's not CEO anymore. If he needs anything, I'll be there.

"How was your dress fitting appointment?" Natasha asked as we stood side by side, watching the photographers take Tony and Pepper's pictures.

"Didn't find one that I like." I said.

I don't hate Natasha. We just got off the wrong foot. But I'm not motivated enough to restart for us to become friends or something. It's not like she and I would be spending a lot of time anyway after her mission is done.

"Of course, you didn't. Some are humongous. Some are trying too hard. Some are unbearably hideous." Natasha replied, still not sparing a glance at me like I am with her.

But after she said that, I couldn't help but turn my head towards her with my eyebrows furrowed. How did she know about the dress I tried on?

"Were you spying on me?" I asked. But I'm guessing the answer in my head is also the answer that will come out of her mouth.

"Fury's orders." She answered.

See? Of course, he ordered it. So, that's the hidden agenda. It's not just Tony he wants to keep in check, it's also me. It's not like I can spy on myself.

"Right." I just said as I looked away, not knowing what to say to that and also not wanting to lengthen this conversation with her.

"Want my advice?" She asked.

The photographers are finally finished with Pepper and Tony and they're now making their way toward us.

"You'll say it anyway." I replied, curling a small smile on my lips to welcome back Tony and Pepper as they approached us.

"Try blue." Natasha simply said before curling a smile of her own before stepping forward to escort us. "Right this way."

Blue? As in a blue wedding dress? Is that even possible? Just the thought of pitching the idea of a blue wedding to Aunt Rebekah is already terrifying. I can already imagine the horror on her face if I suggest that.

But a blue wedding dress does sound beautiful.

"What's on the docket?" I asked as Natasha escorted us to our table.

"You have a 9:30 dinner." She replied.

"Great, we'll be there at 11. Is this us?" Tony asked as he pointed to a table at the corner of the room with the view of the outside from two wide windows.

"It can be."

"Great. Make it us."

"Okay."

Natasha walked away from us to settle Tony's request while Pepper and Tony are conversing with Elon Musk. It's not like I'd get to contribute anything in their conversation so when I spotted a mini bar, a sigh of relief left me before I made my way towards it and ordered a drink.

Then my relief was cut short.

"Andrea, is that you?" Justin Hammer's voice echoed in my ears and I swear, I thought my ears started bleeding for a second.

"You have got to be—Hey." I said as Justin appeared in my line of sight when he reached me. Do I really have to talk to this asshat? I think I want the tech stuff conversations with Elon Musk more.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Justin greeted me as he placed a hand on my arm.

I forced a smile on my face despite the burning irritation inside me begging to be unleashed. "If you don't take your hand off of me, something else will be very sore, I assure you."

I saw him push his lips into a thin line as he removed his hand from my arm. But I'm still wondering why he's still standing in front of me.

"There's no need to be all feisty. I come as a friend."

"'Friend' is subjective. Plus, I don't befriend incompetent asshats turned insecure copycats." I retorted.

I noticed Justin's grin slightly falter before he rained his confidence, which I assume is fake at the moment given the fact that he knows I can destroy him with a flick of my hand.

What he doesn't know and refuses to believe is that I have self-control, even towards people like him.

"My least favorite person on Earth." I heard Tony's voice chime in as he approached us.

Justin turned towards Tony and patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, pal."

"Justin Hammer." Tony said before snaking an arm around my waist once he stood beside me.

"How you doing? You're not the only rich guy here with a fancy car." Justin said before looking behind him. "You know Christine Everhart from Vanity Fair."

You have got to be kidding me. Is this a reunion with the people I utterly despise? Might as well bring back Kai Parker and throw him here. No one warned me this trip was going to be an incredibly infuriating one. If I had known, I should've stayed home.

"You guys know each other? Who am I kidding? Of course you do." Justin then averted his gaze to me. "You two are friends, right?"

Since when are we mistaken as friends?

"Roughly." Tony commented.

"Like I said, 'friend' is subjective." I simply answered.

Christine shot me with a smile as fake as mine. I can tell she still hates me for threatening her. But she should have seen it coming when she tried to expose my family. Threatening her was the kindest thing I have ever done to the anyone who puts my family at stake.

"BTW, big story. The new CEO of Stark Industries." Justine told Christine.

"I know, I know. My editor will kill me if I don't grab a quote for our Powerful Women issue." Christine stated.

"Oh." Pepper said, slightly surprised.

"Can I?" Christine asked politely. Well, what do you know, she has fitted one good trait in her tiny body.

"Sure." Pepper answered.

"What about Andrea? She's really powerful." Tony commented.

"Honey, I don't think it's the kind of 'powerful' that she's comfortable with." I commented.

I clearly saw on her face how she remembered our interview.I wonder if she's scared enough to leave us alone. Because, I'm not in the mood to tolerate any of them.

"She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know right?" Justin mentioned. I see Christine's been busy.

"Is she a dog for you to throw a bone at?" I responded, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Right. We all know who's the dog here." He retorted.

I was taken aback, to say the least. I can feel my werewolf side thrashing in its cage, eager to be released. Having its aggression bubbling up inside me together with my pure annoyance towards this disgusting excuse for a human being, it almost felt impossible to restrain myself if not for Tony being my anchor and holding me closer to him. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have hesitated to rip his throat out for these people to watch.

"Funny." I simply commented, mirroring Justin's ridiculous grin. "I'm gonna go to the restroom."

"I'll come with." Said Pepper.

I can feel my claws digging into my palm as I made my way to the restroom. My eyesight is going back and forth between normal and predatory. With every step I took, I'm almost certain that at some point, I'm gonna break a heel or two...maybe even the floor.

"You have to calm down. You know what happens when you lose control." Pepper said.

The last thing I want is my name to be in another news headline. I have to get a grip.

"I'm fine." I said, my voice straining as I opened my hands, seeing my claws revert back to nails, the wounds on my palms slowly healing as the blood remained. "I'm fine."

I opened the faucet and let the water run on the sink and through the drain before placing my hands underneath it. I watched the water against the white ceramic sink turn pale red, washing off the blood from my hands. My blood. It's fine. It's just mine. No one else's. I'm fine. Everyone's fine.

"I'm fine." I echoed, turning towards Pepper who hadn't dropped the concerned expression on her face as she observed me.

"You need a drink?" She asked. A small smile slowly tugged on her lips, causing my lips to form one as well.

"Very much." I answered.

—

I think having more than one drink might be the wrong decision. Vampires have high tolerance for alcohol, but it still means that we can get drunk. Right now, I think that would be the perfect description for me.

"Okay, drinking might not be the best idea." Pepper said as she tried to pull me up from lying my head on top of the bar counter.

I agree.

"Let me sleep for a while." I whined with my eyes closed.

I can already feel my sleepiness. It's already within reach. All I have to do is just grab it and I'll be in a deep, peaceful slumber...while in the middle of a restaurant. But it's all good. A passed-out drunk would be the least of everyone's concern. Maybe not the least if the drunk is a tribrid, nevertheless, not a threat.

"Natalie, can you help me bring her to a room?" I heard Pepper say.

Oh right, Natasha's here. How can I forget about that? She's here to keep us in check. I'm sure she won't let anything bad happen to me and because of me.

"Well, what's the use of owning a race car if you don't drive it?"

Is that...

My eyes abruptly opened before lifting my head up to turn my gaze towards the television where I saw my fiancé wearing a racing suit with his last name plastered across it while in the middle of the race track.

What...the hell is he doing?

"Natalie, what do you know about this?" Asked Pepper as the redhead stood behind me and beside Pepper.

"This is the first I have known of it." Natasha answered.

"This, this cannot happen." Pepper said as she started to panic. And I don't blame her. I'm not going to deny the fact that Tony has been extra spontaneous and reckless lately to the point that he's almost making me feel like there's something wrong. Like he's chasing something, or running away from it. But with my head pounding right now, I don't think I'm in my right mind to assume anything.

"Where's Happy?" Pepper asked Natalie.

"He's waiting outside." Natalie answered, her voice monotonous.

"Okay, get him. I need Happy."

"Right away."

When the race began, I considered just letting him do this one and scream at him right after about it. He has never been this stubborn and as much as I want to say that it's one of the things that I adore about him, right now, it's not. I absolutely hate it because it's making me overthink things. Is this about the wedding? Is he getting cold feet? Doesn't he want to be with me? Am I the reason why he's being more incredibly reckless than ever?

I considered letting him do this race, but when I saw a man in orange overalls step into the racetrack, my instincts began to rev harder than the race cars' engines.

And I was right. I watched in horror as the man threw his helmet aside and let his top melt, revealing the machine he has on underneath before revealing a set of what seems like energized whips on each hand.

The camera was still too far away from this suspicious and clearly dangerous man, but I'm pretty sure that the thing on his chest matches the one Tony has in his.

I jumped up in my seat when the man threw his whip and sliced one of the incoming race cars clean, causing it to topple over past him. My sudden reaction caused me to feel rather dizzy because of all the alcohol currently present and flowing in my system. This is really not the right time to be drunk.

A wave of gasps erupted in the whole restaurant as they watched from the mere screen of the television while I slowly backed away.

"He's here for Tony." I told Pepper while not sparing her a glance. "I have to go."

With a hazy mind, a spinning eyesight, and a tipsy pair of legs, I ran out of the building and soon felt the warmth of the sun against my skin as I dashed towards the race track where I knew that strange man was waiting for Tony.

I don't know if my heart is pumping enough blood in my body to make up for the alcohol that I've drank, but the more energy I exert, the faster they get depleted. Of all the days some lunatic decided to attack Tony, he chose today when I'm not in my right mind.

I arrived at the scene and I felt like my heart sank deeper and painfully in my chest when I saw the man cut through Tony's car, the front of the vehicle completely sliced off while the rest went flying in the air before it landed upside down and harshly on the ground.

"Tony!" I screamed before I could stop myself.

The attention of the unknown man shifted towards me, a maniacal grin spreading on his face before he began walking towards me. The anger that I felt towards Justin and Christine was amplified to a thousand and the three sides of me are all getting driven by their worst parts—bloodlust in my vampire side, uncontrollable aggression as a werewolf, and a provoked witch side.

The heels of my boots clicked against the rough cemented ground as I held out my hand beside me, my palms out.

"Phasmatos Morsinus Pyrox Allum." I chanted while I mirrored the pace of his walk until he dropped to the ground and groaned, clutching his head from the pain I've inflicted in his brain.

"Phasmatos Morsinus Pyrox Allum." I repeated the spell over and over again to keep him pinned to the ground as I made my way towards him.

That's when my ears started ringing again while my magic vibrated out of control inside me. And at that moment, my focus on the man was compromised. My eyes roamed around my surroundings and found a lot of people within the vicinity and if I lose control, there's no guarantee that I would be able to resort to shattering glasses and lightbulbs like at the mall. My mind is corrupted by the effects of alcohol, therefore, making me a lot more vulnerable and weak.

Pondering about those thoughts while in the middle of a race track is another bad idea and I only realized that when I was sent flying away from the man after being hit by a race car that tried and failed to stop.

"Son of a bitch." I groaned as I attempted to push myself up, realizing that my legs were broken.

My gaze averted towards the man when I saw someone hit him with something at the corner of my eye. It was Tony holding a car door. My heart raced once more when the hit did nothing to the man and instead came at him with his whip, the thing hitting the car door rather than Tony but is still strong enough to send him flying.

I cursed under my breath as I looked back at my legs, waiting for them to heal but it was taking them too long. Tony is already on the ground staggering back while the man continuously attacks him with both of his whips. With every dodge Tony is able to make, the weapon is leaving a mark against the ground, dark and sometimes on fire.

I guess the alcohol in my system is circulating more than my blood because of this slow healing process. I have to do something before I witness my fiancé get sliced in half in front of me.

When Tony got hit and was thrown, I held out my hand and chanted. "Fumeé chaleur vicieux enfermé les vitres la bas."

A trail of fire ignited from the ground beneath my fingertips to where the man was standing, trapping him in a circle of fire so high, I almost lost sight of him.

When I felt the last bone in my leg click back into place, I pushed myself up and took steps towards him. I walked effortlessly and unscathed through the fire I created around him before he noticed my appearance. I grabbed him by the neck and tossed him away, the sound of his head hitting the ground a satisfying note to the song of violence I'm singing.

The trail of fire dissipated into nothing as I stepped out of it and approached the man again. I can feel my three sides hungry for triumph and domination. That even with a simple sleeping spell that would be of great use today, they won't let me. I wanted him to hurt. To feel the very pain I inflict upon him. To feel his bone crack, his mind break, his skin burn, and his throat get ripped out.

I know this rage wasn't directly because of him. I know this overwhelming emotion of mine was not the cause of his attack against my fiancé. But if I'm guessing it right, it's simply the anger inside me that had built up and was never unleashed.

And nothing's more dangerous than a bottled-up anger finally shattering.

Before I could get to the man, I heard the tires screeching and a loud horn from the car behind me that's speeding towards us. I jumped out of the way just in time for the car to hit the man and pin him against the side of the race track while Tony successfully climbed up to avoid getting hit.

"Happy?" I whispered when I saw the same car I got out from earlier. Happy's currently in the driver's seat while my ginger friend was sitting in the backseat hyperventilating.

"Andrea!" Tony ran towards me and helped me get up. Relief washed over me to see him still standing but that relief was cut short when I saw the blood dripping from the side of his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked me. I should be asking you that.

I swallowed hard, biting my tongue even to stop myself from touching the blood on his face or pulling him against me to bury my fangs into his neck. I simply nodded in response, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I'd suddenly find myself drinking his blood.

"Come on." He wrapped his arms around me as we made our way towards the car.

"Are you guys okay?" Happy asked, his worried voice talking over Pepper's frantic whimpers.

"Yeah." Tony said. "Were you heading for me or him?"

"I was trying to scare him." Happy reasoned out.

"'Cause I can't tell!"

"Are you out of your mind?!" Pepper's strained scream cut through all the ruckus happening as she took out her frustrations on Tony.

"Better security!"

"Get in the car right now!"

"I was attacked!"

Not. The. Fucking. Time.

The next thing I know, the man is at it again and his whips are slicing through the car Happy and Pepper are in.

I stood there watching yet somehow I felt distant. The screams and crashes echoing in my ears began to fall away and the silence took over. It was deafening. But I soon realized why that is because the next sounds I heard were the man's heart beating in his chest and the vein pulsing in his neck.

I didn't even notice that Tony had already suited up next to me until I heard a series of screams and gasps from the people gathering behind the fences of the race track. How stupid can humans be? Instead of getting into safety, they stayed for the show?

"People suck." I muttered under my breath before I approached the car Pepper and Happy were in and kicked it out of the way, the sound of the tires screeching against the ground piercing my ears before I looked back at the man.

Tony attempted to blast him with his repulsors only to be whipped at every time. I clenched my jaw, fighting my bloodlust before I ran towards him, climbing over the man and wrapping my legs around his neck before I flipped backwards and threw him to the ground face down. I pressed my knee against his neck to keep him down and grabbed him by the hair to lift his head up.

Being this close to his throat was dangerous, for him and for me. But with judgment clouded with the haziness of the alcohol and my pure anger, there were no barricades left to stop me from killing this man with my teeth.

I felt the veins under my eyes bulge and my eyes darken before I buried my face into his neck, my fangs digging into his throat and the familiar wave of euphoria spread throughout my entire body. Ecstasy washed over me while his blood satisfied my cravings until that ecstasy turned into more hunger.

I was aware of how deep I am and how I'm almost draining the life out of this man, however, the slightest bit of remorse didn't come. I didn't feel anything besides the hunger that was ironically eating me alive before I felt my neck burn from where the whip suddenly is wrapped around on.

He threw me off of him and I landed just a couple of feet away. As I laid there, my throat burned for more blood—the same blood that's staining my hands right now. The same blood that's dripping from the sides of my mouth and down to my chin.

I need more.

I turned around to see Tony finally defeating the man, ripping his arc reactor from his chest before the cops came running in, taking this as an opportunity to finally restrain him. But I didn't want him to take him away. I wanted to kill him, watch him as I drained his blood, as his life slipped away from him. I wanted that.

I ran towards the man and the cops only to be caught by Tony's grasp.

"Let me go." I said, my eyes fixating on the man as the hunger slowly takes over my body.

"Andrea, it's over." He told me.

"No, I need more." I begged, getting out of his arms only for him to hug me tighter.

"Andrea, calm down!" He shouted, causing me to avert my eyes towards him. That's when I saw the reflection of my face on the mask of his suit.

I...looked like a monster.

My eyes are frighteningly glowing yellow, below them are dark purple veins protruding. The lower half of my face was basically covered in blood.

I felt Tony's arms loosen around me when I finally calmed down. I took a step back and looked around me, seeing the people stare at me in a strange way. As if they had never seen someone like me. How could they? They've never even known of a monster like me until now.

"Hey, Andrea, it's okay." Tony said with his hands held out in front of him in caution. Even my own fiancé is afraid of what I'll do. And I can't blame him. "You protected them. They're grateful."

I shook my head. "No, they're not."

Before Tony could reach me, I sped away from the scene and arrived at the nearest restroom I could find. Seeing my face even clearer in the clean mirror made me stop. I looked down on my hands and saw blood. And I hated it.

I went to the sink and opened the faucet, washing it off of my hands. I almost cried when I saw that even my engagement ring had blood on it. That beautiful blue diamond ring tainted with the red of his blood. I hated it.

I felt hot tears roll down on my cheeks as I scrubbed the blood off my hands, then my face until my hands terribly shook to the point that I couldn't scrub anymore.

"Andrea." I looked up at the mirror to see Natasha's reflection. She was standing behind me while staring. She didn't look scared. She looked concerned. I don't know if she's worried about me or worried about herself being in my presence.

"You're gonna be fine." She assured me. But as much as I like hearing that, I know it's not true. How can I be fine if I'm a monster?

"You're wrong." I said, not bothering to hide the tears that's trickling down my face. "I haven't conquered my demons yet."

It took everything in me not to break down in front of her. My hands were trembling as I proceeded to remove the blood from my face.

"Me neither." Natasha abruptly replied.

I suddenly remembered the images I saw in her mind, how they were basically a river of red, like mine. I wish I could say I was relieved to have someone relate to how I'm feeling and my experiences. But the fact that she could relate to me is not a good thing for me, though, it is a bad thing for her. No one should be able to relate to me. I hope she continues taking this right path for her.

"I'll guard the door." She simply said before walking out of the restroom to stop anyone from walking on me.

The only problem is, deep down, I wish someone would because despite the overwhelming hatred I already feel for myself...

I'm still hungry.

I'm not fine.

—

Took a while to write this because college keeps getting in the way sksksksk. I just know that this has a lot of typos.

I hope you're prepared for the next chapter though.