as san appeared down the corridor, y/n felt she could finally release all her emotions and she ran to him, bursting into tears. he held her tightly as she cried into his jacket.

"shhh, I'm here now, don't worry" he soothed. "shhh..."

"how can all this be happening to me?!" she cried. "I'm so tired of it"

"hey, hey, look at me. I told you I'm gonna make it better" he softly spoke as she looked into his deep brown eyes. "what did the doctor say?"

"he's gonna be okay but, san, he did this for me, how can I live with that?"

"it isn't your fault, y/n"

she wiped away her tears as she pulled out her phone. "I have to call yun- his friend to come be with him"

"is he awake?" san enquired.

"yes, I've been to see him, I'm going to go back in a second, when I've called yunho"

she searched his number and called him, still wiping the tears from her face.

san watched her as she spoke on the phone. she was so brave, he thought. she'd been through so much already, so much that she didn't deserve. he just wanted to take her back to his bed and hold her until she felt happy again.

"he's on his way. I have to go back to sit with him, san, I'm sorry"

"don't be sorry. I'll be right out here" he replied.

she nodded and pushed back open the door to the ward where mingi was being cared for.

mingi smiled as she appeared again at the end of his bed.

"yunho will be here soon" she informed him, trying to convey comfort in her voice. "you should try to sleep, you need rest"

"I'll sleep when you leave" he said. "is san here?"

"yes, he's outside"

mingi stopped for a second. his heart was breaking - but he deserved it. he knew he didn't deserve to be the one to care for her anymore.

"I'm glad you're not alone. you should go be with him though"

"no, no. I want to wait for yunho"

"don't leave him out there alone. go" he said. every word pained him even more, but holding onto her would be no use. and the more he looked at her beautiful face, the more he died inside, knowing what he had done to her.

"go" he repeated.

"okay, if you're sure?"

"go" he smiled.

she reached over for his hand one more time and looked into his eyes. "take care, mingi" she spoke through tears. and then she left him, tears also threatening in his own eyes.

as she exited the ward she saw yunho arriving, looking a little confused at everything that was happening. she couldn't even speak to him right now.

"y/n, what hap-?"

"speak to mingi" she interrupted as san moved to her side.

"who is this?" yunho asked.

"you need to speak to mingi" she repeated as she walked past him and away from the ward.

-----

arriving back at san's, y/n went straight towards san's sofa and threw herself down, exhausted.

"can I get you anything?" san asked, always attentive.

"no thank you, I feel like I just need to sleep for a hundred years"

"can I come sit with you?" san asked, and y/n immediately moved to give san space to sit down. she leaned on his shoulder and moved her hand to find his. "you need to eat" he persisted.

"later" she replied. "I still feel sick"

"I understand"

"san?" she asked.

"yeah?"

"are you angry I went without you?"

"no, of course I'm not angry" he reassured her.

"...I didn't want you to get hurt" she admitted.

"I would have risked it for you"

hearing his words, she remembered the conversation she'd had with wooyoung earlier. it felt so right being laid on his shoulder, her hand in his.

"san?"

he chuckled, "yes, y/n?"

"wooyoung told me something at the party" she said, sitting up to face him.

san looked puzzled. "what did he tell you?"

she hesitated before she proceeded. "he said you had... feelings for me"

his eyes opened wide as he felt his temperature rising. what was he supposed to say? he couldn't admit his feelings for her when she was going through so much. but how was he supposed to hide it?

"I..." he began.

she panicked. what if wooyoung had lied? what if san didn't have feelings for her? it would be so embarrassing for them both. "sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the sp-"

"yes" he immediately said. "urm... I do"

as their eyes met, they stayed that way for a few seconds before he continued, "I actually have for a while"

"san..."

"I know you probably don't feel the same way and that you're going through a hard time but I had to answer you truthfully"

she smiled. "san, I... you've been amazing. I can't thank you for everything you've done"

"I know what you're saying, y/n"

"but you shouldn't feel that way"

"why?"

"I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. you would get tired of me, you would get angry... eventually..."

"no!" he protested. "don't you dare say that! I think you're incredible, y/n. I could never be angry with you. you have no idea - I look forward to seeing you everyday. you're the only reason I still work at the cafe. even though you're with mingi, it's enough to just see you everyday"

"I'm not with mingi" she said.

"you're amazing" he finished. "and it breaks my heart to see you like this"

she stared into his eyes and could see that he was genuine. he really would do anything for her.

"sannie?"

"yes?"

"will you kiss me?"

he looked at her in shock. was she serious? he'd been dreaming about kissing her for the last two years.

"are-are you sure?"

"please"

she had barely finished the word as he carefully placed his hand on her shoulder to hold her as he leant forward and gently touched his lips to hers. he began softly, but he felt his long-surpressed desire bloom inside of him as he made the kiss more passionate. he heard her let out a small moan and he moved away, unsure whether it was a moan of pleasure or a signal to stop.

"was that okay?" he asked.

"wow" was all she replied. as he had kissed her, she felt some of the despair she had been carrying lift from her body and disappear into the atmosphere. his kiss felt safe and comfortable. secretly, she wanted more.

secretly, so did he.

but they simply gazed at each other, both letting out a small giggle.

"I love to hear you laugh" he spoke.