the cafe, 5:30pm

"do you think y/n would mind a visitor?" hongjoong asked as the two men finished putting the last of the chairs on top of the tables at closing time.

"hmm, I don't know. I can call and ask her?" san offered.

"please, I just need to check for myself that's she's okay"

san nodded and went for his phone. hongjoong went to turn out the lights and grab the keys.

"she's not answering" said san, "let me try again". so he pressed 'call' again and waited as they exited the cafe. "no answer again"

"are you worried?" hongjoong looked concerned.

"she's probably just showering or something. you can come if you like, I'm sure she won't mind" hongjoong nodded and they began the short walk to san's home.

as they arrived at their destination, san noted y/n's car on the drive. at least she hadn't gone home today, he thought. he turned the key and opened the door, hearing the tv on in the lounge. this was a good sign, he thought. but as he stepped into the darkening room, he saw it was empty.

"y/n?" san called. "where are you?" upon there coming no answer, san turned to hongjoong in concern.

"don't worry" hongjoong comforted before calling her himself, "y/n? it's hongjoong". still no answer.

"I'm too afraid to go upstairs..." san whispered.

"I'll go" hongjoong offered and began climbing the stairs. the upstairs of san's house was even darker but he could see a little light coming from san's bedroom. in honesty, he was also anxious of what he might find. what y/n had been through was enough to push anyone to the edge. he carefully opened the door to reveal the sight of y/n curled up on the bed wearing nothing but underwear and what he assumed to be one of san's shirts. he spotted the almost empty bottle of liquor on the bedside table and the glass laid on its side on the floor. he sighed and tiptoed over to the bed.

he put his hand on her arm and squeezed it a little in an attempt to wake her.

"leave me alone, san" she slurred. had she really drank the whole bottle?

"it's not san, honey. it's hongjoong - can you tell me what's wrong?" he heard the stairs creak as san appeared in the hallway. hongjoong held out his hand to signal for him to stay where he was.

"everything"

"honey, I know you're hurting right now, but it'll get better. you have san"

"I don't care about san" she moaned, starting to cry.

san looked down to the floor as hongjoong gave him a sympathetic smile and mouthed; "she doesn't mean that"

"did you drink the whole bottle?" he asked softly as she rolled over away from him.

"yes, now go away"

"I will go away when I know you're okay" hongjoong maintained.

"why are you here?" y/n enquired. "huh? why? where's san?"

"he's downstairs, would you like me to fetch him?"

"no, I'm going home" she said, "he's better off without me. yeah... I need to go home"

san shot forward but hongjoong shushed him before he made his presence known.

"where's sannie? I need sannie" she spoke again, clearly not remembering what she'd said a second ago.

"I'll go get him" hongjoong told her. "take care, y/n. I'll come see you another day"

she didn't reply as he got up and walked to the hall. "I'll come back tomorrow, san. look after her, she's not good". san nodded slowly and thanked hongjoong.

when he heard the door close behind hongjoong he proceeded to enter the bedroom. there was sadness in his tone as he spoke; "y/n... it's san. are you okay?"

"no, san"

"babe... y/n" he corrected himself again, "why did you do this?"

"do what?" she asked bluntly.

"get wrecked like this. why didn't you call me?"

"aren't you bored yet? there's only so long you can do this without getting bored"

"so long I can do what?" he asked.

"pretend to care for me"

he paused, feeling hurt. "you think I'm pretending?! if you only knew what I felt..."

"-sannie, please hold me, I'm cold" she interrupted. he picked up the blanket and gently put it over her body before climbing onto the bed next to her and wrapping her in his arms. as he did this, her breathing quickened and she began to cry harder into the pillow. a tear slipped down san's cheek as he held her tighter.

"please don't do this again" he begged. "I'm here for you - whatever you want, I'll do anything you want. just don't do anything like this. I'd rather you take your anger out on me"

she continued crying, almost to the point of hyperventilating as san spoke.

"calm down, baby. I'm here, I'm here" he didn't correct himself this time - something just felt right about calling her his baby.

"shhh, baby" he soothed, and her crying began to steady.

"you called me baby" she sniffled. in all honesty, san didn't know if she'd noticed or not.

"I won't do that again, I'm sorry" he apologized.

"baby" was all she said, leaving san confused. he continued stroking her head regardless, unsure of whether or not this was his permission to continue calling her that.

"am I your baby?" she asked, her eyes closed, probably already half way to sleep, he thought.

san looked at her face, covered with tear stains. "I wish you were", he whispered.

-----

2am

"san?"

san awoke in the early hours to the sound of y/n's husky voice. her throat was obviously sore from the alcohol.

"I'm here, what's wrong?" he asked sleepily. they had both fallen asleep, y/n in his arms as usual.

"what happened? my head hurts. where's mingi?" she asked, confused.

"I think you might still be a little drunk" he told her. "you're at my house, do you remember why you're here?"

she paused for a second before she answered. "yes... I remember now. I thought I went home. I thought you'd sent me home"

"why would I do that?"

"because it's too much"

he sat up to look down at her face, he could see that her face was still red from the light of the lamp.

"are you warm, baby?" he asked, placing the back of his hand on her forehead. "I'll open a window"

"fuck... I'm gonna be sick" she cursed as she shot up and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

san rubbed his eyes and crept to the bathroom door, knocking softly before entering. he said nothing as she threw up her guts in front of him. he just watched her sadly, wishing he could take the pain away from her.

as she threw up again, he knelt down by side and held her hair up for her while rubbing her back slowly.

he knew he would stay up all night like this if she needed him to.