warning: themes of self-harm

sat in wooyoung's car on the way home - if you could even call it that - y/n felt sick. she didn't know how she could possibly face mingi after just one day. but she needed her stuff. she needed to get this over and done with.

"why did you come round anyway?" y/n asked wooyoung, trying to make conversation to distract herself.

"I tried to call this morning but he didn't pick up, which is weird for san. and he's usually up for work at that time. so I just came over to check he was okay, I was gonna try the cafe next"

"oh, I heard his phone ringing actually. sorry about that"

"haha, don't worry, he obviously had something more important to worry about" he said with a wink.

"you're important to him, woo"

"I know, I'm just kidding-- is it this one?" he said pulling up to the side of the road.

she could feel her heart pounding in her chest and she saw the house that she had once shared with the love of her life. she took a deep breath and told herself it would be okay.

"are you sure you want me to wait here?" wooyoung asked, already concerned.

"yes please, it's best for everyone" she said grimly.

she slammed the door closed and looked around for any sight of mingi looking for who was here, but nothing. she went up to the door and turned the key in the lock. a wave of silence hit her. no sign of mingi at all.

she ventured further into the house, looking into the kitchen. it was a mess: the cupboard doors were still open and the plates were left scattered on the table with the exception of the broken one still in pieces on the floor. she sighed and made her way upstairs to her bedroom.

"mingi?" she called as she climbed the stairs. no answer. maybe he wasn't here? but then where was he? a pang of worry arose as she wondered where he could be.

she didn't have to wonder for long. the bathroom door was ajar and revealed mingi, slouched on the floor before her, leaning against the sink.

she gasped audibly as her eyes found an open bottle of pills by his side, only a few left in the bottom.

his eyes opened widely at the sight of her despite him being almost non-responsive.

"y/n... y/n" was all he said.

"mingi, what have you done?" she asked, mouth hung open.

"I'm sorry, y/n. I'm a fucking mess right now"

"why mingi?"

"...I can't live with what I've done to you"

"yes you can, mingi. you have to. you have to be alive. please..."

"why... do you care?" he asked, words almost incomprehensible.

"because I love you, mingi. I still love you. I might have fallen out of love with you but I can't help but care about you"

"I need...to go...hospital" his voice became even more distant as his eyes began to close.

y/n shot down the stairs and out to wooyoung who was sat on the bonnet of his car.

"we have to take him to the hospital, woo" she said, fighting back the tears.

"wait, what? mingi?"

"yes, he's taken something... some pills... please"

"fuck!" wooyoung cursed as he went to get in the car.

"no, no - you have to help me carry him. I don't know if he can walk"

"fuck him!" wooyoung spat.

"please, woo!"

"shit, fine!" he agreed as they both rushed back into the house.

as they reached the bathroom, mingi had opened his eyes again.

"you need to get up" wooyoung ordered, zero sympathy in his voice. mingi groaned in response.

"we're gonna have to help him" y/n said, motioning for wooyoung to help.

"can't we just call an ambulance?" wooyoung asked, frustrated.

"no, there's no time. now help me!"

-----

the hospital, 4:30pm

"are you okay, y/n?" wooyoung whispered as they sat in the hospital corridor.

"not really"

"I have to go to work soon, y/n. I'm going to call san"

"san will be mad I went home without him"

"he won't be mad, he'll be worried about you"

it was nearly time for san to finish work. she hated to burden him with all this, especially when he'd just finished his shift. but she needed to feel his arms wrapped around her more than anything right now.

"he's gonna be okay" wooyoung interrupted her thoughts. "at least there's that". she nodded in agreement.

"why don't you go in and see him while I call san?" wooyoung suggested.

"I'm scared to" y/n admitted.

"I'll be right out here"

-----

mingi was laid in the hospital bed with his eyes closed, hooked up to something, she didn't know what - probably to flush his system out. he looked so weak and innocent. a complete opposite to his intimidating form which had towered over her just the other night. she was still mad with him, she was still scared of him, but right now, seeing him in this helpless state, her heart broke for him.

"hi" she softly spoke.

"why are you still here?" was his first question.

"I'm going to call yunho soon, I don't want you to be here alone. do you want me to call your parents too?"

"no, no, don't call them" he panicked. he likely didn't want to have to tell them the full story.

she hesitated before she perched on the edge of the bed next to him. she took his hand in both of hers, tears forming in her eyes once again. "please don't do that again" she begged.

"I can't live with myself, y/n. I don't know who I am. I don't know what's wrong with me"

she sighed and squeezed his hand. "I know... what you did, it isn't like you..."

"y/n, I'm really sorry, I need to go" came wooyoung's voice. she turned to him. "I called san" he continued.

"okay, thanks woo. I'll call you later" she promised as he smiled and disappeared.

"are you staying with san?" mingi asked. y/n nodded.

mingi tried to smile. he already knew he'd lost her. she'd never forgive him for what he did, and he couldn't blame her. he just hoped she'd stay in his life long enough for him to try and make it up to her.

"I'll go and call yunho"