5th October 2019

For the first time in literal months, I wrote an entry in my diary. Seven pages, recapping my summer and the start of school.

It made me rethink all the stupid stuff tahts happening.

You see, I started this diary thing because of something my dad told me. He had a friend whom I'll call Steve. Steve has been recording every day of his life for like twenty years. And he's gonna great the ultimate book. For each day of the year, he'll take the best entry for that day, and put it in the book. So you could be going from your wedding day in '04, to your second birthday in '81. It sounded cool, (If taht makes sense). So I copied him.

And started writing.

One thing about when I write in my diary, is that I always end up ranting about my mental health. And never in a good way. And because I'm writing it down putting it into words, everything becomes so much more real.

Two friends of mine confronted me. I've been a dick lately. I'm spending too much time with my best friend and not with my other friends. Not even those two friends (they're not in my friend group). But I've been neglecting my group. I need to keep them all happy you know I gotta talk enough that they're all engaged, but not too much that they get annoyed. And I can't neglect my best friend or she'll think I'm mad at her.
It's hard finding a balance. Especially when it takes a huge toll on my mental health. But I just gotta put that aside and help them.

That's sort of a summary of today's entry. Not very nice, huh? Of course there's been some good aspects lately, but I can tell I'm relapsing. And that makes it a little harder to be optimistic.

I've missed my diary. It's blue. It has line art of sincerely three dancing with the caption 𝚁𝚎 - 𝚒𝚗 - 𝚟𝚎𝚗 - 𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗! and I love it.
I have a collection of my filled diary's already. There's a Harry Potter and a Schuyler sisters one. When this ones finished I'll probably get Falsettos or Starkid.

Diary, thank you for being a therapist for me while I'm a therapist for everyone else. Thank you for letting me get my emotions out and lock them away.
Thanks for being my escape.