_

and youngjo didn't come back. mingi heard from a friend that he had been seen in his own city, and the red-head could have cried with joy. he hoped against hope that he would never have to see the boy again for as long as he lived.

eden was beginning to take shape again, and the two boys would visit almost every day to see the progress. yunho was happy with how it was going, but mingi could see the little glimpses of sadness in his eyes and the melancholy in his voice as the new pieces were being put into place.

you see, yunho couldn't help but let himself feel some sadness at the fact that the original foundations, the ones his sister designed and watched being built, were all gone and were being replaced. in the replacing of the original shop, something tugged at yunho's heart and made him feel like his sister's memory was being replaced.

and mingi noticed - and it ate away at him like hell.

and when he heard yunho on the phone to san, crying about how devastated he truly felt about the whole thing, mingi couldn't help but feel like the elder was hiding his true feelings from him.

but of course he was: he didn't want mingi to feel responsible. poor, fragile mingi, who'd been through enough probably couldn't cope with the guilt.

but it was too late. he already felt guilty and he already felt responsible. everytime they ventured down to the shop, it became increasingly harder for mingi to look his boyfriend in the eye.

so he became stand-offish; took a step back and became withdrawn. for a while, yunho was so consumed in grief for his sister's memory that he didn't notice.

until it became impossible to ignore.

"should we go eat out tonight?" yunho asked one afternoon as summer was coming to an end and the signs of autumn were becoming more and more visible.

mingi was sat by the window with the cool late september sun shining on him. he had his phone firmly in his hands, like he had for the last hour. he spent increasingly more time with his head in his phone recently.

"I'm kinda tired" mingi replied flatly.

yunho sighed in defeat, "you were tired yesterday too, is everything okay?"

mingi just continued scrolling through instagram, not really hearing what his boyfriend was saying.

"baby?" yunho tried again.

"yeah? oh, yeah, sorry... yeah I'm fine"

"okay... well, you'd tell me if there was something wrong, right?"

mingi arose from where he was seated at that, announcing; "I'm gonna go nap"

"okay, baby. you want me to come join you?" who was he kidding? mingi had been so distant lately, he knew the answer was going to be no.

"I'm good, thanks, yunho" he replied as he made his way upstairs.

yunho... mingi had never called him by his name. his eyes welled up with tears as he contemplated this. he felt like he was losing mingi and he didn't know why. did everything move too fast? was he too forward with his feelings? was mingi just not in love with him any longer?

he couldn't just leave this. he couldn't just wait to see how things panned out. no - he loved mingi way too much. fuck, he loved him so much it hurt. the thought of losing him made him feel sick to his stomach. but if mingi wasn't happy with him, he couldn't make him stay. mingi's happiness would always be the most important to him, whether he was in his life or not.

he had to talk to mingi.

so he made his way upstairs and to their shared bedroom, where mingi barely looked up when he saw the elder entering.

"mingi, can we talk? please..."

"talk about what?"

"about us" yunho sniffled. he felt tearful already and knew he wouldn't get through this conversation without crying.

little did he know that it broke mingi's heart to see yunho so upset, but his being around had caused unbelievable pain to his hyung and undoubtedly his hyung's family. he still couldn't live with himself - he didn't deserve to be loved by yunho. yunho treated him like royalty - he always had - and this, he wasn't deserving of.

"what about us?"

"mingi, what's going on? you've been so distant from me recently. did I do something wrong?"

"no-"

"-please just tell me. do you not feel the same anymore? you can tell me, I can handle it"

stop.

"I know I'm always down at the shop and I'm sorry for that. I can stop going so much if that's what you want. we can spend more time together"

please stop.

"I'm such an idiot. the fire must have been terrifying for you. and your hand... have I not been there for you enough? I tried, I swear. I told you you're the most important thing"

I can't take this. I'm a horrible person for making him feel this way.

"I know I said I could take it but in all honestly, this is breaking my heart. please tell me how I can make it better, I beg you" yunho continued as tears spilled from his eyes.

yeah, I am a horrible person. I may as well face it. I may as well act like it.

"you're being ridiculous, there's nothing wrong" mingi answered.

the tears came faster; "how can you say that? you barely speak to me, mingi. we haven't been intimate for weeks. we used to be so in love... what happened?"

"did we though? or did you just feel sorry for the poor homeless boy?"

yunho's mouth hung agape, in shock at the words coming from his boyfriend's mouth.

"was it some kind of saviour complex? I bet that's what it was. you didn't love me. you couldn't love me"

"mingi, I love you so much"

"maybe this whole thing was a mistake"

yunho fell to his knees on the bedroom floor. "how can you say that?!" he sobbed.

"well was it?!"

"NO! no, mingi. of course it wasn't-" yunho felt like he couldn't breathe.

"I know you blame me for the shop"

"I don't blame you at all! not one bit! please mingi, don't let this come between us. god, I love you so much"

"are you proud now you've done your bit for charity, huh?" mingi scathed. yunho didn't recognise this person who stood in his boyfriend's place. mingi was soft, kind, shy - this wasn't him. he didn't understand why he was saying all these things.

"after everything I've done, because I LOVE you, how could you say this to me?" yunho cried.

"I don't owe you anything" mingi said, his tone emotionless. what's happening to me? why am I saying all these things I don't mean?

yunho stood up from the floor and used his sleeve to wipe the tears that stained his cheeks. it took all his might to finally say; "then maybe you should leave, mingi" - and as he spoke the words, he felt his heart breaking.

mingi stared at the older boy for a few seconds and then, wordlessly, grabbed a bag and began loading clothes into it.

"mingi?"

no answer.

"mingi, are you really leaving me?"

no answer.

yunho shook his head in disbelief. "fine, after everything we've been through, everything I told you - if you want to leave like this, fine"

mingi made his way towards the door and down the stairs, yunho tailing him the whole way. he didn't stop there, he continued to the front door and turned the key in the lock granting him his exit.

he got to the end of the driveway before he finally turned around to face yunho.

"I still love you, mingi... always will" he whispered the last part.

mingi felt his lip begin to quiver. but it was too late now. he'd messed up big time. again. he would just keep messing up - it was better this way.

his eyes lingered on yunho for a few more seconds, taking in how destroyed the boy he loved so much looked. he had done that. he had broken him.

"I'm sorry, yunho" he whispered as he turned to walk away.

_