🔪》Title, Cover, & Blurb

The title fits the story and it's appealing. The cover reminds me of a university sweatshirt, which is cool! The cover looks a little blurry though so some of the text is hard to read. The author name is very small and can't be read. The text and images on the cover don't look like they're centered. The blurb introduces the world of the story well and the characters a bit. It doesn't introduce the plot of the story though. Also, at the end, André's name has an accent, but it doesn't in the earlier paragraphs.

🔪》Plot

The plot of the story isn't clear in the story. I'm not sure where the story is heading, other than the development of the relationships between Jaxon and Elliott and André and Bai Lok. The exposition introduces the main characters and the world well. The story and world are interesting as well.

🔪》Characters

The characters are introduced and described well. The characters personalities were shown well throughout the chapters as well. I loved André's enthusiasm for the free lunch lol. The conversation with Sidney, Willow, and Mercedes about the island was funny. All the characters are unique and interesting.

🔪》Grammar/Spelling

There were a lot of spelling and grammar errors throughout the chapters. A common spelling error I noticed was "drew" was spelled "Dréw."

You don't need a comma after punctuation in dialogue.

For example, you have this part in The Library chapter:

The young girl looked at the boy for a breath. "What do you want to know?", she questioned.

It should be like this:

The young girl looked at the boy for a breath. "What do you want to know?" she questioned.

🔪》Writing Style

The writing style was pretty good, however, it needs some work. Information and descriptions were worked into the story well. The descriptions of the scenery and the characters were also done well. Some of the phrasing made the story hard to understand though. In some spots it seemed like you mixed up the characters' names. For example, in The Sax chapter, there's this part: ""Are you not an omega? Omega~. A very sweet-smelling one, I might add." Bai Lok smiled." It seems like this dialogue should be Bai Li since that was who André was talking to. Also, the next dialogue from Bai Li has the dialogue tag "Bai Li continued." which doesn't make sense with the one before being labeled as Bai Lok.

🔪》Enjoyment

I liked the characters and would like to see how the relationships progress. I would read on, however, I wish the plot was clearer. I like a lot of the characters and their personalities. The story also has quite a few funny moments that I enjoyed. The student ID cards are so cool!

🔪》Overall

Overall, the plot needs to be clearer so the readers know what the story is about and where the story is heading. The characters are interesting and the relationships between them are developing well. The characters personalities are also shown well throughout the story. The story needs an edit to fix the spelling and grammar errors. It also needs an edit to make some of the phrasing easier for readers to understand. The first chapter begins with a similar explanation for the world that's included in the blurb and has similar dialogue. Leave the explanation and the dialogue in the first chapter and edit the blurb so it introduces your story and characters. Good luck with your story!