🔪》Title, Cover, & Blurb

In the title, "the" shouldn't be capitalized. The cover is alright, it's not very appealing. It's kinda plain, it's just text on a picture. I do like the font and the little scribbles that look like waves though. The blurb doesn't introduce the story, although it does introduce the characters a bit. The blurb is just an excerpt from the story and it doesn't make readers want to read the story. The blurb also doesn't flow well and needs an edit.

🔪》Plot

The plot of the story isn't clear and the story is confusing. It was hard to understand what was happening in the chapters. I know you explained the main plot of the story in your form, but that was hard to understand as well. The exposition needs to introduce the characters and the world. The plot is progressing slowly, we haven't reached the main conflict yet and it's been seven chapters. The chapters are very short and not much happens in them. A lot of the chapters could be combined because of how short they are. The prologue you had in the introduction wasn't a prologue, it was just one line of dialogue.

🔪》Characters

The characters need to be introduced better. Descriptions of the characters appearances need to be included. The characters personalities need to be shown better throughout the chapters. The relationship between Y/n, Sophie, and Rosé needs to be clearer. Y/n's hostility toward Taehyung doesn't make sense. Her fight with Taehyung in chapter five came out of nowhere and didn't make sense. If something happened in Y/n's past and that's why she doesn't like boys, then that needs to be included in the story. The readers need to understand why she's reacting this way. Even if she has bad experiences in her past, her having a huge fight with Taehyung after he bumped into her is still overly dramatic.

🔪》Grammar/Spelling

There were a lot of spelling and grammar errors throughout the chapters. Make sure you use a consistent tense as well when writing. Rosé's name was spelled "Rosé" and "Rosè" throughout the chapters. In the third chapter, don't use question marks for Taehyung and Maria's dialogue before they introduce themselves. Use like "the man" and "his sister" so the readers know which character is saying the dialogue.

It's very hard to keep track of which characters are saying which lines of dialogue. Make sure to start a new paragraph when a new character is talking.

For example, you have this part in chapter one:

" Teachers can be good also," Rosè replied in an irritating tone. "There you go," Sophie said, enjoying our conversation. "Hey girls, I have heard that Korean guys are quite handsome."

It should be like this:

"Teachers can be good also," Rosè replied in an irritating tone.

"There you go," Sophie said, enjoying our conversation.

"Hey girls, I have heard that Korean guys are quite handsome."

🔪》Writing Style

The writing style needs work and it isn't consistent throughout the book. You start writing dialogue the traditional way and then switch to a script format (Character Name: Dialogue). The format also switches during the chapters sometimes. Stick with writing the dialogue the traditional way it's written in books. Instead of saying "Time Skips (1 hour)," use a fleuron (ex. ***) and indicate the time change with narration or dialogue. Why isn't the chapter titled "Jeon Jungkook" numbered like the other chapters? Be sure to show the readers what's happening instead of telling them. Also, more descriptions need to be included. The characters and the scenery aren't described in the story. Describe what Y/n's dog looks like instead of putting a picture of the dog in the middle of the chapter. The phrasing also makes it hard for the readers to understand what's happening in the story.

🔪》Enjoyment

The story didn't draw me in and make me want to read on. I'm not sure what the plot of the book is and it was hard to understand what's happening.

🔪》Overall

Overall, the story needs to be thought-out more. The plot isn't clear and the story is progressing slowly. The chapters are too short and not much happens in them. The events need to be expanded upon and descriptions need to be added. Show the readers what's happening instead of telling them. The story also needs an edit to fix the spelling and grammar errors. Ensure you're using a consistent tense throughout as well as using phrasing that's easy for readers to understand. Good luck with your story!