🔪》Title, Cover, & Blurb

The title fits the story and attracts readers. In the full title, A Dragon Slayer: and the Sea Dragon of Delphi, there shouldn't be a colon after "slayer" though. The art on the cover is very pretty and the cover fits the story. The title is very hard to read on the cover though. The cover also isn't the full size so there's a white border around it. The blurb introduces the main character and the story very well. It attracts readers and makes them want to read the story. Just a note, "aunt" shouldn't be capitalized.

🔪》Plot

The plot of the story is clear and engaging. It hooks readers and makes them want to keep reading. I'm interested in seeing how Naphtali's training progresses now that he's joined the Dragon Slayers. The story is progressing at a good pace as well. The exposition introduces the characters and the world well. The world of the story is easy to understand. It's clear a lot of thought went into the development of the world in the story.

🔪》Characters

The characters are introduced and described very well. It was very easy to picture the characters' appearances. The characters' personalities were also shown well throughout the chapters. The prologue provided good background information on Naphtali's character and helped develop him. The relationships between the characters were also shown well. It's clear Eva cares a great deal about Naphtali. Korah and Naphtali definitely seem like they could get into a lot of trouble together.

🔪》Grammar/Spelling

There were spelling and grammar errors throughout the chapters. Gaius' name was spelled wrong a few times. The Feriae holiday is also spelled differently in chapter three, ferrae and then ferae. Also, fairy is spelled two ways: faery and fairy.

Make sure to keep dialogue/actions for characters on the same lines.

For example, you have this part in chapter five:

Naphtali sat upright.

"Well...did you want to tell them, Korah?"

Korah laughed gently, a laugh that he supposed may cover up the fright he had of telling his parent. Though he knew he wouldn't be scolded in front of Naphtali and Eva.

"Can you tell them?"

It should be like this:

Naphtali sat upright. "Well...did you want to tell them, Korah?"

Korah laughed gently, a laugh that he supposed may cover up the fright he had of telling his parent. Though he knew he wouldn't be scolded in front of Naphtali and Eva. "Can you tell them?"

🔪》Writing Style

The writing style is well done and it's consistent throughout the chapters. You do an excellent job working descriptions and information into the chapters. The information is never dumped on the readers and it's easy to understand. The actions scenes were also described well. Chapter three is still quite long, I suggest breaking it up again. Maybe break it up when they head back to their camp after the Muses show? In chapter three, you have this sentence: "The Muses stood upon the stage, all nine of them, with dark curls and olive skin that fell down around their shoulders." It would sound better phrased as: "The Muses stood upon the stage, all nine of them, with dark curls that fell down around their shoulders and olive skin." The description of their hair should be with the color, it sounds odd with it being after the description of their skin color.

🔪》Enjoyment

The story was enjoyable and I would read on! I liked the part when Naphtali and Korah were playing with the wooden swords. The arguing about the surprise exploding potion was funny. I definitely want to see Naphtali become a Dragon Slayer and find out what happens in the story.

🔪》Overall

Overall, it was a very enjoyable read. The plot hooks readers and makes them want to keep reading. The characters are also interesting and developed well. Their personalities are shown well throughout the chapters. As mentioned, it's clear you put a lot of thought into the world of the story. The story needs an edit to fix the spelling and grammar errors in the chapters. Make sure you're consistent with the spellings of the words that are from the world of your story. Also, just a note, you start labeling the chapters with numbers, but for chapter seven the number is spelled out. Good luck with your story!