Shoto woke up crystal clear for the first time in awhile. 'I really should lay off the alcohol if I can wake up like this..' he said lightheartedly to himself. He knew he didn't mean it.

Where as Izuku woke up groggy and arms weak and aching. He first went to the shower and hopped in, making sure to clean off his arm. He didn't bother to be gentle and ended up opening the cuts again and had to wait another five minutes for them to stop bleeding. He threw on a jacket, not bothering to use foundation till the concert, just being so tired.

He stood in front of the mirror with a small scowl.

'What a filthy creature...' He tried tugging on a smile, wide and realistic, it was pale and strained for a few moments before he willed himself to relax and focus on it, soon it was good as new. He skipped out of the room, using his better arm to drag his suitcase and his weak one to limply grab the doors and such.

Everyone was already heading to the door.

"Let's go~!" He sang lightly with a grin.
A fake grin.

Mina nodded, "I can't wait to see the others!"

Izuku nodded back, "Lessa gooo!"

Shoto arrived at the airport earlier than everyone else, happily daydreaming on the metal bench. His mind wandered around possible song lyrics and recited piano pieces in his head. Not too detailed, but enough to keep him entertained.

BPU arrived not too long after, they had masks and hoods on to keep most people from recognizing them

Shoto didn't realise that he had a group of girls huddling behind him gossiping.

"I-It's really him!"

"No way!"

Ochaco sported Shoto and skipped over, "Where's the others?" She asked, avoiding the girls

Shoto shook his head and pointed to the doors.

"They haven't come yet?" She guessed, that's what she got from the movement.

He nodded and smiled politely.

BPU was behind her, "Well we're just waiting for them then!!"

Izuku grinned, waving at Shoto with a wink. Shoto saw this and swiftly averted his gaze, face turning pink.

Ochaco snickered and turned back to him
Izuku, though, seemed ever so slightly more distanced. He kept a little bit of space in between them with a rather blank grin on his face.

'He doesn't want to talk to me. I'm clingy and annoying. I'm a fucking egotistical ass.. Why would anyone like me? How the hell am I an idol?'

Soon after, Saving Harmony showed up waving and chatting amongst themselves.

"Heeeyyyy!! Shoto!! How are you doing?"
He smiled and nodded.

Izuku seemed to take them in and waved excitedly but he was still trapped in side his head.

"You doing good? You're kinda red.." Shoto's eyes widened and he waved his arms sideways in an 'im fine' gesture.

Of course Izuku snickered to himself from the back of the group.

Momo caught on and grinned. "... You uh.. been up to anything lately?"

Shoto shook his head completely naive.

"No..? Lemme rephrase the question.." he took a deep breath and stifled a chortle. "Have you-"

"The flights going off in thirty minutes guys, let's get going!" Denki cheered, completely unaware of the interrogation.

Izuku was the first to set off instead of hanging back and chattering. "Hurry up!"

Shoto was in a bit of a fluster at his voice as he collected his stuff and followed an.. unnecessary distance behind.

Izuku skipped happily, "This is our gate way guys!"

"Ooooo!!"

"Let's get this show on the road!!!"

"First class flight boarding now!" The announcements blared out. Izuku pointed, "Thats us!"

"No shit!! Hahahaha" Sero snorted, giving Izuku a playful dig on the shoulder. "Come on guys!"

He winced at the roughness of it, rubbing his shoulder , arms tingling from the numb sensation in his wrists but over all it seemed to go unnoticed much to his thanks.

They went through security, boarded the plane and took their seats. Shoto chose one at the back, sinking into it and tuning back into his mind radio. Though, Mina snickered and forcefully dragged Izuku back to sit with Shoto.

Shoto opened his eyes back up and glanced over at a familiar mop of green hair and freckles. 'Oh come on..'

He was once again wincing through a grin, trying to indiscreetly rub his arm once again. He tucked a finger in and felt wetness.

Well shit.

Izuku was struggling on what to do with his bleeding cuts, could he just excuse himself to the bathroom? He hasn't even looked at Shoto yet... would that be like him? Should he tease him first?

He pulled his hand out, quickly trying to hide the blood on his finger and whipped it on his hoodie, internally making the decision to slip out after the plan took off.

But, Shoto still spotted it and his nervous butterflies turned into spiders. "..."

He sat up a bit more to try and figure out what was going on up front, he saw nothing and looked the other way than Shoto.

'I.. oh no..' The halfie was trying to figure out if his mind was playing tricks on him or not.

Izuku didn't think much of anything and grabbed his bag, grin still plastered onto his face
He pulled out his head phones for the flight
'Maybe they'll stop bleeding soon.'

After an uncomfortable train of thought, Shoto only thought of one way to drag Izuku along with him to the bathroom. If his head was imagining things, it's better safer than sorry.

He inhaled and started without warning, a strong arm snaked around the greenet's waist he walking him forcefully off to the plane bathroom.

He squeaked loudly.

The entirety of the two groups stared.

"aYe LEMME GO" His heart pounded, but not by how close they were. His mind crawled terribly with fear. 'WAIT FUCK DID HE SEE—?'

Reaching the bathroom he ushered him in and locked the door.

"Shoto what are ya doin I thought you didn't like that we fucked—" Izuku tried to joke, backing up like a cornered cat. He hoped his fear didn't show.

Shoto pointed at his arms sternly, though his cheeks flushed at the mention of it.

"Aye-?" He saw shit shit shit- "what? " He turned around and looked behind him at the general direction he was pointing. "I don't see nothin."

'Just act like an idiot it'll be fine-'

Shoto faltered. Was he really going to make him pull up his sleeves? In all honesty, Shoto was scared of what he would see.. but he wasn't going to back out.

Izuku looked at him again, "Why are we here?"
He wasn't going to tell him. It was fine.

He was fine.

Shoto approached and pointed even closer at his arms, almost touching the black fabric. There was no mistaking what he was pointing at now.

"Yes! Jacket very nice!!" He tried slipping out and then remembered they're on a plane and there was no where to run. If anything Shoto might expose him in front of the others.

The door was locked anyhow. Shoto made sure of that.

He couldn't have that.. no way....

It would be slower to escape. Shoto's stern glare softened. His hands delicately placed their way onto the rims of Izukus jacket, sliding it down cautiously over his shoulders.

'No nononononononono—' He tugged away slightly. "Staph! If you're trying to strip me and fuck then no!" He hissed, still trying to fake obliviousness.

"Mmmm.." he hummed calmly but with a sense of urgency. There was no way Shoto would get this jacket off Izuku without having to pin him down, and somewhere deep down, the halfie knew this.

He tried again though, even slower. The whole time he maintained eye contact, concerned yet authoritative.
'Please..'

Izuku only tugged away again.

'Midoriya..' Shoto hardened his glare again, frustration filtering through his otherwise usually passive expression.

"Quite that!" He hissed, trying to escape. "What are you trying to do anyway?!" He pouted, crossing his sensitive arms, trying not to wince.

'I can't believe I'm going to have to..' Shoto didn't let himself think too hard about it as he pressed Izuku up to the wall, his palms flat against the wall on either side.

He went red slightly even though he knew what Shoto was trying to do.

"You horny dude." He muttered.

'Back off by my annoying power!' he was internally thinking.

Shoto opened his mouth in silent objection, cheeks now tomato red. He only made his pressure on the wall behind Izuku tighter. Closing in, he gestured with his eyes down to Izukus sleeves.

He tried not to buffer, "Ya try to fuck too much. On a plane too? Seriously??"

'Says you.' He fired back almost instantly in his head. Though the offended stare said it all.

Izuku wanted to sink into himself but smirked smugly on the outside. "You really are horny~"

"M-mm!!" He retaliated, clenching his teeth from the desperation.

"Well if you're not then lemme go!" Izuku huffed, freckled cheeks puffing out. He knew this wouldn't work.

Shoto held his ground.

Though the comment made him uneasy. He sent his gaze down to his sleeves and back up to Izukus face as a gesture.

He smirked, "Why you keep lookin down~?"

He just needed to be as annoying as he could.  People always left him, left and right. He knew it was because of his personality and attitude but it didn't matter.

'WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!' Shoto made it clear as he could, though it was fairly difficult to lip read him as he was so inexperienced with his lips.

Taking a deep breath in, he exhaled and calmed his nerves.

He had to think back to when he actually moved his mouth... Back to when..

W h e n . .

He made a pained expression like he'd been punched in the gut.

Izuku blinked at the sudden shift, "You good?"

His lips quivered apart, preparing to make syllables he hadn't even dared to try ever since the incident.
He raised the back of his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Then lowered it. Then the tip of it hit the roof of his mouth. Then he lowered it. Then the back of the tongue. He closed his mouth, praying that Izuku understood.

"Wh-what..?" He saw him trying to spreak or..? He had no idea what just happened.

Shoto looked miserable at the lack of success.

"Are you trying to talk or..?" He muttered, a little concerned. Why was he talking? Why was Shoto wasting his efforts on him?

'I'll try again. It's okay. It's just mouth movements-'

'D o n t  s a y  a  w o r d .'

Izuku's arms uncrossed, he brought a shaky hand up to his shoulder, "..S-... Shoto?"

'No.. no please.. not here, I need to-'

'S t i l l  s i l e n t  h u h ?'

On the outside, he looked shellshocked all of a sudden. Yet he still tried again.

He opened his mouth shakily. The back of his tongue raised with more effort, then fell. Then the tip quivered up, and fell. The back rose again, then he shut his mouth, staring beggingly into Izukus eyes.

'Don't say a word.'

'Don't say a word.'

"..S-Shoto I.. don't know..?" He said rather scared.

'Don't say a word.'

'Don't say a word.'

He saw him get a little pale and paler. "Shoto, you with me here?"

His hands leant on the wall instead of pushing against it. His elbows became folded instead of straight. His mouth opened yet again.

Izuku felt his heart skip a beat at the sudden closeness but was more worried than flustered, green eyes looking up at Shoto who looked like the blood was being drained from him.

The same movements tried to be made, but were more slurred and limp. Shoto couldn't tell as his mind began to grind and churn.

' D o n ' t   s a y   a   w o r d . '


Izuku nervously help Shoto by his shoulders, "Hey.. hey if you don't want to you don't have to try and talk.. it's okay.. you're okay. Okay?"

"We're all okay here. It's fine.." he cooed, talking softly for a change, he knew that look. Shoto looked like he was going to have a panic attack if he didn't help him.

"Aaaaaaaaaa.." he let out a sigh that sounded like a muted scream, eyes visibly shaking. He fought back as hard as he could mentally, but those ominous words that bound his voice box were stronger.

'He needs help-'

' D o n ' t   s a y   a   w o r d . '

He blushed at a small idea but stood on his tippy toes and lightly kissed his nose. "S-See? All good..!"

Shoto stared blankly down at him, the words ebbing out from his mind at the moist feeling on the tip of his nose.

Izuku didn't stand correctly on his feet yet, still incredibly close to his face. 'Did it work? It probably didn't..'

'Did he.. kiss my nose?'

"We're okay.. okay? We're fine.." He repeated again, though reconsidered his words.  "...You're fine.."

"A-aa-" Shoto reeled his head back, cheeks red.

He giggled lightly, "Still shy as ever~"

Zipping his mouth closed violently he gave Izuku a vulnerable stare. It seemed he did that to prevent another barrage of memories..

He patted his head and tried moving him away, still gentle as he wasn't sure if Shoto actually recovered from- well, whatever the hell that was just now.

But the halfie didn't let himself be moved. His arms regained their strength and pinned him rougher to the wall out of desperation. He was beginning to feel a little feint.

'.. should I try again?...' He was a little scared this time.

Izuku accidentally let a despaired look slip onto his face at this, though a grin quickly replaced it when he realized. "Are we still doing this? Why are we even here~?"

Shoto grimaced, opening his mouth again.

'  D  o  n  '  t    s  a  y    a    w  o  r  d  .  '

He flinched it back closed with watery eyes.

Izuku noticed, grin dropping. "Shoto..?"

He tried again.

His jaw slammed shut like someone was doing it for him.

Izuku flinched at this, not understanding what he was trying to do.

"Shoto dont do that if you're uncomfortable with it!" His own heavy was turning watery with guilt, he didn't even know why it was there. "..dont waste the effort on me."

A tear escaped the corner of his eye as he tried opening his mouth again, only barely parting his lips before jamming it closed with a crumpled up cringing face. The next time he tried he found that he couldn't open his mouth at all. His eyes went wide and panicky as he looked down at his lips, well tried to.

Izuku cupped his cheeks, forcing Shoto to look at him. "Stop! Please..."

"Mmm.. mmm, mmm mmm mmm!!!" he muffled out tiny noises of panic. The memories were starting to seep back in. And this time, he didn't have any alcohol to stop them.

"MMMMMMMM!!" he crumpled down to the floor, clutching his hands at his mouth.

It flooded in like a tidal wave.

Izuku was full on panicking now, sinking to the floor to be at eye level with the halfie, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at him. Though when he looked into those teary mismatched eyes, they were gazed over with horror.

His Mom.

"Shoto!"

His siblings.

"I swear to god, you're fucking scaring me Shoto, stop it."

The dim light of the basement.

The blood.

Izuku didn't know what to do

The screams.

Izuku's mind desperately wanted to help Shoto, running through everything he could think of that could help. He got an idea, but before he could think of the consequences, It just happened.

He grabbed his face and forced there lips together a little desperately. When he kissed his nose it seemed to help...

The- . . .

The flow slowed into a trickle. Time slowed, Shoto feeling the tight grip on his voice box loosen.

When he crawled his way out of his personal hell he felt something warm and comforting pressed against his lips.

His eyes closed, relishing it. Until he realised what it was.

His eyelids flung open, met with Izuku's unruly, green hair and smooth freckled skin.

Izuku blushed when he kissed back even if it was a mere second. He didn't pull back though... This kiss just felt different than any other he had.

Like a spark. But...

It tasted sour that he basically took advantage of Shoto's vulnerability. It was odd, normally he did whatever he wanted without any care in the world..

Why did he feel so guilty?

Shoto's eyes widened with each parting second, not enough strength to pull away from Izuku's rather comforting kiss.

Though he didn't have to, Izuku finally pulled away with tears welled in his eyes. He looked to the side I'm guilty shame.

".   .   ." Shoto was stiff with shock.

"It was all I could think of." His voice was tiny and embarrassed, but over all, it held utter shame.

Shoto pulled his face away to get his head around the situation, two fingers going up to trace his own lips.

He started to think Shoto would hate him. He forced a kiss on him... and his silence was deafening this time. Izuku couldn't bring himself to look Shoto in the face this time.

"Please let me go.." he whimpered lightly, waiting to be yelled at, well in a very body language driven way.

".... mm?" Shoto mumbled innocently, unsure of how to react. That was... his first kiss...

He whimpered lightly again, "..it was the only thing I could think of.. My fault.. I know.. just.. tell me you hate me already and let me go.."

He still wasn't facing him.

Shoto cupped a hand to his cheek, turning his head to look at him to understand better, surprised when Izuku harshly flinched at his gentle touch.

After a long hesitant silence Shoto gave him a small smile of reassurance. A thank you for stopping the onslaught of images from racking through his brain. Though his lips still tingled from the touch..

But Izuku was already convinced that Shoto hated him. His dark mind making terrible images that engraved into his head, "No.. stop pretending.. I know.. I know you hate me.. dont pretend.. stop.."

"Dont smile.. like that.."

Shoto stared into his eyes with a saddened look.

"..that's.. thats a lie. You hate me." He said again, but firmer, pressing his own body against the wall behind him to make room.

Shoto only paused for a moment before shaking his head.

He nodded as if taking his own answer for Shoto's, "no. You do.. stop lying."

He seemed so sure about this like he's already convinced himself this years ago.

Though of course Shoto didn't know this, eyes narrowed with confusion. Why was he so sure?

"..so why am I here?" He said this limply now. "Just let me go sit down. "

Shoto inched closer, holding eye contact however hard it was. Arms snaking around his waist he pulled him in for a caring gentle hug. Izuku's breath was caught in his throat in a second.

"Stop... lying..." The greenet barely choked out. Shoto remained there, resting his head on Izukus shoulder.

He squirmed, just like what always happened when Shoto was drunk. He felt trapped- suffocated. So in disbelief that the possibility of Shoto still liking him sounding impossible inside his own head.

"Mmm.." he comforted in a low tone.

A cry built up in Izuku's chest as he tried to push away, "Nonononononono-"

Shoto didn't find it hard to endure his resistance, though he felt the pain of seeing Izuku in this state.

A choked sob escaped Izuku's lips in a choked cough, "S-stop!"

It was like just being held down made him start to break open.

In response Shoto rubbed his hands in soothing circular motions on Izukus back. His cuts started bleeding more he struggled.

"Shoto lemme go..!" He whimpered, but over all his struggling started to go limp

"Mmmm.." he comforted again. It had the same qualities as a low rumbling purr.

"Let.. go.."

It was the last thing he murmured before slumping against Shoto, tears streaming down his freckles cheeks thickly.

Shoto smiled with relief when Izuku accepted the embrace. He wanted so badly to try again, to say something, but his jaw was clamped shut. All he could do was lean his head against Izukus and make low rumbling hums.

Izuku's fight drained out, his figure fully limp, there was barely any strength in his legs either. "I hate chu.." he murmured, comforted by Shoto in general, "..I.. I'm death and.. and you shouldn't..."

"Mmm.." Shoto disagreed.

Izuku tried pulling away one last time with a weak force, he might as well not have even been trying. He forced himself to calm down more, trying to stop the tears he hated so much.

Shoto held him in place, tightening his grip gently. Izuku only whimpered lightly.

'I hope I didn't hurt him, I just need him to listen..'
Shoto relieved the pressure and moved his head back to look Izuku in the eyes. Once again, though much more calmly, he looked down at his sleeves, then at him.

They glistened a little, tears welling in the corners as Izuku blinked. The greenet knew exactly what he wanted, but that didn't mean anything. He looked back, avoiding eye contact just barely but not saying nor doing anything.

With every passing second Shoto frowned a little more. He begged with his eyes. Izuku felt his body tensing the more he had to resist.

"mmm.." 'Come on Midoriya..'

"...nuuu..." he muttered right after Shoto's small noise.

Shoto thought hard. From what he knew Izuku ran off of deals and bargains.. 'Not that I was complaining~' Izuku had texted him. His heart flipped in his chest.

'But I don't have anything else to offer right here right now..' Gulping nervously he began his message. He pointed at his lips, then shakily at Izukus, then at the sleeves. He was a burning mess by the time he finished.

Izuku's eyes widened and his mouth parted wobbly.

Did..

Did Shoto just say he'd kiss him if he'd show?

Shoto's averted his gaze to the floor..

Oh lord he did.

Izuku shifted on the floor, "S-Sho-Shoto—?"

"... m-mhm.." he affirmed nervously, hands struggling to not cover his mouth.

Izuku's lips weirdly curved into a nervous smile. "Uh.. y-you.. there's.. erm.."

Shoto looked back up at his face at the words. He was startled by Izukus nervous smile. 'It.. worked?'

He didn't wanna.

But ...kiss?

He wasn't sure what to do. Well.. would it be worth it?
Did he.. Well he wanted one. But...

He didn't want to show. And he didn't want to admit he wanted one at all, blush creeping over his cheeks as he considered all that could happen on both decisions.

Shoto was burning up fast at the silence.".   . ."

Finally his eyes wavered down to his arms, and then back up to Shoto.

His mismatched eyes were barely keeping the contact with Izuku's. He really did look like a 'wittwe bwaby': face red and lips curled in an embarrassed way, he was subtly squirming on the spot in anticipation of what was to come. Was he really offering himself up like this. 'It's for the sake of Izukus health.. I can manage it..'

"..."

"..kissh firsht?" he muffled out.

Shoto paused, thinking it through. It was going to be the only way he'd agree. If he kissed him before he could check his arms, Shoto wouldn't have anything else left to bargain. Well, anything he was willing to bargain.

Izuku closed his eyes, the silence getting a little too much.

"..no... you don't wanna... sorry I got my hopes up..." He started to pull against him again.

'. . . Hopes up?' Izuku wanted this?

He pushed against Shoto's chest weakly, "lemme go already.. I know you don't wanna.."

His chest was caving in painfully, more agonizing than any cuts he's ever made on himself. It was almost making it hard to breathe again.

He hated this feeling more than anything

Shoto inched closer, the nerves bubbling up inside. Izuku saw this and, without realizing, instinctively backed up with flushed cheeks, both from crying and purely embarrassment.

He pointed to the sleeves, then to his lips. This was his way of bargaining without words.

He made no move to his arms yet, only staring slightly flustered

Shoto flicked his eyes to them and back up to Izuku expectantly. The greenet was right that he didn't want to do this.. but he had to.. It was his only bargaining chip.

But a small thought occurred inside Shoto's head. When did he start caring so much...? He didn't realize it before, but it felt like he's done this so many times before to the point it just... felt natural.

He whined a little, "..do I gotta do it first..?"

Though he looked down at his arms with a scowl, his fingers fumbling up to take the jacket up. Just very vey very slowly...

Shoto watched patiently as a sigh of relief wisped out of his mouth.

Izuku stopped before he revealed his forearms with a very nervous scowl. But it wasn't towards Shoto. It was towards his own body.

Shoto took it completely the wrong way however. ". .   ."

'I know you don't want to do this but I need you to, please..'

"I.. don't wanna see.. ima.. close my eyes." He stated after his pause. He didn't even wait for a response before turning his head with scrunched eyes and pulled the jacket off completely, letting it fall.

Both arms were currently bleeding, five deep cuts reaching the veins. All red and slightly swollen, though this was hardly noticeable since you could hardly see past the blood.

Shoto stared shellshocked.