His eyes were glazed over, face blank as he looked down at his arm, feeling the warmth spread across his skin as the rich liquid spread from every new slash. Izuku had never stopped, even after all these years when he first started.

Cutting.

It... helped him feel. It made him feel human. Happy, almost. But not quite that.

His green eyes were devoid of life as he ran the tap over his wrist, watching the water dye crimson, the sting from his open skin barely noticeable. His arms shook unevenly as he delicately wrapped each wrist up in a temporary bandage which was just some folded tissue and tape.

He felt weak, but in a delicious way. He didn't like that he felt good when the pain made him tremble uncontrollably, it made him feel like a crazy person. No one should feel this good when cutting themselves.. that was his firm belief. And nothing else should make you feel like this too..!

Maybe that's why he found it so addicting. From the day he tried it, it had been with him ever since.

The day his mom died. Cancer.

And his father was an abusive piece of shit. it pained him- it genuinely did. His mom was probably looking down on her son crying, Izuku could almost hear what'd she say.

'What has happened to my baby boy?'

He looked over himself, realizing he had got some blood on his shirt and cursed, quickly ripping it off.

But getting a look at his naked chest made him want to puke.

A huge scar spread from his upper stomach all the way up to his shoulder.

And with seeing it, in came the terrible memories.

Falling falling falling..

Just after that one step he regretted his whole life.

But he desperately shook it away and turned from the mirror, going to his closet and picking out a jacket to wear, not bothering for a shirt underneath. It didn't have a zipper anyway, so it was fine.

The moment he sat down on his bed, his phone buzzed. A soft groan escaped his lips, though he stood back up and made his way across the room again, picking it up to check who it was from. His arms burned uncomfortably from the movement, the small stings making him feel like jelly.

Momo:
could you go get Shoto? I think he's out drinking again I would but I'm busy

Izuku read the message a few times over. Then guilt flooded him. He remembered Momo saying he drinks to forget... like something to run away to...

Like him with his cutting.

Cuts. Shoto saw them..

He felt his chest sink again, was that why he was drinking this time? Was it because he just wanted to forget..? Izuku did this.. didn't he?

Just by the thought, his emerald eyes flickered back to the bathroom, spotting a glint of silver on his cream white counter. Quickly, he shuffled over and hid the blade under the sink, then bothered with responding.

Can do

Nothing more, nothing less. He sent the message and started from outside, face drawn into a soft frown. Though the moment he heard Katsuki and Kyouka talking, his face split into a grin.

"Just fuckin' ask her out or something you gay!"

"It's not that easy..!" Kyouka was whining about something, Izuku couldn't help himself but to eavesdrop. "She's like- really pretty?! Have you not noticed!?"

"It's easy to ask someone out you dumb fuck. Just go up to Momo and fucking kiss her or something."

Kyouka's face flushed violently, "Kat! No!"

Katsuki shrugged, "Then you ain't gunna have a girlfriend any time soon."

"We just met too!"

"Then ask her on a goddamn date! It aint like you're gunna ask her if she wants to marry you."

"But what if she rejects and it makes things weeeiiiirrrddd???"

Katsuki glared at Kyouka like she was an idiot. "Then wait after the concert or some shit, I don't know why the fuck you came to me about this."

"Believe it or not, you're the best person to ask. Eijiro would just tell everyone, Mina and Ochaco would be too busy fangirling, Denki's and idiot, and Izuku... well I probably could ask him but he's so busy with planning the collab I would feel bad to bother him.."

Izuku grimaced to himself, eyes falling down to the sleeves covering the cuts.

He decided not to make himself known and quietly slip out of the flat, making his way to the bar where Shoto was probably at. He hopped in cab, asking the driver to take him to Black Moon like yesterday, wearing a mask to go with his outfit.

He wasn't in the mood to be recognized even though most people in the bar would be too drunk to recognize him.

Shoto was already on his fourth glass, bottle about 1/3 way empty. With the same empty look as before, he asked for another bottle with a vague point of his hand towards the bottle.

The bartender came back with another bottle, reaching to take the money with a hint of regret. He gave this man more drinks than he felt morally comfortable with.. of course Izuku was over in a flash the moment he saw this.

He slapped Shoto's hand when he tried to take the bottle, the bartender a bit relieved someone was looking after this dude.

"No! Bad!" Izuku was already trying to drag Shoto away, "You stupid.."

His wrists were hissing out in distress at the sudden weight, which made it all that much harder to carry him. the more pain he was in, the more his body numbed and weakened. Soon, though, with a lot of trouble, he got Shoto to the curb and called for a cab, having put the mask on the haflie instead of himself so he hopefully wasn't as easily recognized.

Luckily he wasn't taking Shoto's full weight as he was still sober enough to walk on his own, just not without support.

"Hnnnm.." Shoto complained, Izuku only ignoring him.

Once they got back to the halfie's apartment, Shoto, very drunkenly, stumbled in. He looked confused, like his apartment was somewhere he's never been before. His mismatched eyes scanned everything like there was something lurking in the shadows, though soon headed for the couch.

Izuku sighed, gently pulling him towards his room so he could actually have a bed.

When the haflie saw it, he flopped into it without restraint, perfectly content in his hazy state and in his fluffy bed. Izuku watched with mixed emotions. Why now did he actually look... happy-ish?

He soon walked over, voice small and wavering, "You really need to stop drinking... Shoto.."

Izuku hadn't said his first name in so long, his brain almost had a shock to it. It felt so right to say, and so comforting that it.. hurt.

Still, his face had a watery smile on it, eyes glazing over with unwanted tears that never fell. He started shifting a hand through Shoto's hair as he sat down on the edge of his bed, tucking him in with the hand.

"Hmh.." Shoto's arm crawled back out, fingers limply gripping at his jacket. Izuku only looked at him with sad eyes.

And then with surprising strength, the haflie dragged him down into a firm embrace, Izuku's head now smushed into Shoto's hard chest.

"H-hEy!" He flushed violently, already squirming.

The grip around his body only tightened, both arms coiling around him firmly, Izuku could feel his cuts burning even more. His eyes widened in a small realization that they probably just opened again if they didn't before when carrying Shoto.

"Shhshhh.." Shoto slurred out oddly, chest rising and falling with breaths to make that noise.

"T..Todoroki.. I-I can't stay here with you!" He whined, soon reaching for his phone, texting Momo in hopes that she'd help.

Me:

todoroki has trapped me in his bed help

THESE CUDDLES ARE FORCEFUL AND I DONT LIKE

Momo:

He's what?

Me:

Hes holding me down and cuddling me I dont approve-

Momo:

Ive never known him to be so bold! guess the alcohol gets to him more than he lets on haha ;)

Me:

NO HELP ME-

Momo:

You get yourself out of this one Midoriya

Me:

NOOOO

Momo:

that is,

if you really want to ;)

Me:

MOMO ISTG HELP ME

Momo:

Hey, I know literally millions of people who would kill to be in your place, be thankful for what you have!

even if what you have is a good looking pop star cuddling you in his bed

yeah, that's awful, I'm sooo sorry for you

Me:

>:v

HeLp mE!

i need to plan out the stupid stuff for the concert still!

and the dance stuff!

anD NOT BE USED AS A TEDDY BEAR

Momo:

Dont pretend that you don't like it ;)

Shoto's a real softie he isn't going to hurt you

Me:

I DONT

I DONT LIKE IT

HELP ME YOU FOOL

Momo:

yeah yeah sure

Me:

plz halp

i beg of you

Momo:

oh you beg huh?

Me:

his grip got tighter when I tried to wiggle out

iM dYiNg

Momo:

tough luck for you I guess

Me:

YOU SUCK

Momo:

just sit back and relaaax, he barely hugs anyone. You're being given a privilege above anyone else and you're STILL complaining?

Me:

i dont want to be here

i do NoT

help me

dont forget Im in charge of what you have to do at the concert-

cMON HELP ME

Momo:

give it five minutes and text me back, see if he can change your mind ',;3

And with that, Momo left her phone be.

istg

NO

MOMO

NO HELP ME

ISTG

I WILL MURDER YOU

MOMO

M O M O

Izuku sent desperate text after text, basically spamming her with roughly 30 more messages, he gave up and tried wiggling again. Shoto nuzzled his face into the crook of Izuku's neck, holding him so close that most parts of their body were pretty much in contact. His breathing was uneven purely from how flustered he felt. He tried wiggling again, refusing to give up. This only made his wrists burn even more, they were no doubtfully bleeding again.

"Mmm.." he breathed huskily into his ear, letting out a soothing slurred chuckle. He was most likely drunk enough to think that he was actually speaking.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

He tried for the phone again,

MOMO ITS TOTALLY BEEN FUCKING FIVE MINUTES HE JUST CHUCKLED IN MY EAR HELP ME I DONT EVEN CARE WHAT YOUR THINKING JUST HELP ISTG

Momo watched her phone buzz across the room smugly. Glancing back at her stopwatch, she saw that Shoto had three minutes to completely charm him.

Momo was confident that Shoto would win him over.

PLZ HELP ME HIS LIPS ARE ON MY NECK IM DYING

A minute passed and Izuku had already killed Momo inside his head in 50 different ways. Shoto's hands had shifted, elegantly sliding further up his back. "... hmmhhhh.." he slurred once again, a feint drunken smile on his face.

Izuku froze, buffering as he felt the movement. His heart was racing.

IM GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK

Eventually one of his hands found Izuku's hair, twirling a strand loosely around his finger. "Mmm.."

Another minutes went by.

YOU BETTER ACTUALLY FUCKING HELP ME MOMO IM GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND DIE AND THEN I'LL HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

At this point Shoto and Izuku were intertwined, though it was mostly Shoto. the halfie's hand was combing sleepily through Izuku's soft hair, only interpreting the feeling rather than who the soft thing belonged to.

All he knew was that it was soft and he liked it.

Another minute and Izuku started spamming her.

Momo

MOmO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

MOMO

Momo looked down at her stopwatch, clicking it off just before it beeped.

'Oh I'm in for a treat~' She chuckled deviously to herself as she opened her phone to a barrage of text messages. She couldn't help but wheeze out loud.

Momo:

So, you finding it any more comfortable?

Me:

NO FUCKING HELP ME

She sounded chill through the messages but on the outside she was laughing outrageously.

Me:

YOU FUCKING BIT CH

Momo:

Are you really not enjoying yourself?

truly?

Me:

HES GOING TO GIVE MEA HEART ATTACK

Momo:

So if I pulled you out of his grip right now, would you be happy? You wouldn't regret it whatsoever?

Me:

NO I WOULDNT JUST HEELPP MMEEE

at at this rate we are basically tied together I really do need help

Momo:

I don't know Midoriya, my untangling skills are pretty shabby *'*

She was rapidly taking screenshots.

Me:

THEN YOU BETTWRR FUCKING LEARN

Momo:

how about you wait another five minutes, he might untangle on his own

Me:

YEAH ITll TAKE FIVE MORE MINUTES TO DRIVE YOUR ASS OVER HERE SO GET IN THE FUCKING CAR

Momo:

Why are you so upset about this? It's not like he's murdering you

he's just lonely and wants some comfort

Me:

if youre trying to guilt trip youve chose the wrong person.

Izuku felt Shoto's hands shift through his hair once more, he felt all the touches, trying to ignore them he texted again.

Me:

Plz help

Momo:

im not guilt tripping, I'm saying it as it is

and I don't have a key to his apartment anyways

Me:

mOMO

Am I seriously stuck here?

His face heated up at this

Momo:

Sorry, just hang tight and enjoy it. Night.

Me:

fUCK YOU

She snickered at this.

She never responded, collecting her screenshots and sharing it with her group and some from BPU who she managed to collect the numbers of.

Soon, everyone was wheezing.

Sero was hugging the couch barely able to breath. "SHOTO'S LIPS WERE ON HIS NECK!?"

"SHOOTTOO~ SO F O R W A R D~ AGAHAHAHAHAHA-"

Everyone was apparently also unaware Shoto was half asleep.

Izuku on the other hand was trying his best not to melt into the embrace, "Todoroki I swear if you dont let me go—!!"

"Mhh.." he barely responded whilst nuzzling closer. Izuku was about dead at this point, Shoto's hold was so caringly gentle but the strength behind it was secure. It made him feel protected, it felt like a place he could just melt into.

Pl.. please let go..? he squirmed, he didnt want this. He didnt know why he wanted to get out so bad but his mind was screaming to. Though, his heart was fighting his brain.

And so far winning.

He was slowly relaxing into Shoto's warmth much to his dismay. Soft touches combed through his hair, his other arm tracing Izuku's side absently.

He despised the fact that this was nice. He loathed the fact it was slowly lolling him off to sleep.

At this point, Shoto was so close to finally sleeping. Snuggling close, he drifted off with Izuku in his arms. Izuku made a despaired squeal, though he was slowly drifting off himself.

Mhm- Nuu- he tried waking himself up, but it didnt work.

Shoto was unconscious now, warm breaths rhythmically brushing against Izuku's neck. For that night, he wasn't quite aware of why, but he felt far less lonely than he used to. Whatever was warm in his arms was something that he never wanted to lose. And he wasn't conscious enough to let his negative mindset chirp and say that he was bound to lose it like everything else that was important to him.

For that moment, he was truly content. His body fell limp of any tension, the hand petting his head resting heavily against Izuku.

The greenet sputtered, "B-

Bitch did you just fall asleep—?"

Like he could say anything. He was practically asleep already himself. A few more seconds passed, and he didn't even realize his world blacked out and sleep invaded his head.