"MATILDA YOU TALK OF THE PAIN LIKE IT'S ALL ALRIGHT,
BUT I KNOW THAT YOU FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF YOU'S DEAD INSIDE."
- harry styles, matilda

Avery woke up the next morning, a smile spreading across her face at the feeling of arms wrapped firmly around her waist. JJ's face was buried in her back, Avery gently rolling over and tangling her fingers in his hair.

"Mornin'." The Maybank slurred out tiredly. "Five more minutes?"

"Whatever you want." Avery told him quietly, the blonde boy whose head was now resting on her chest managing to pull her impossibly closer.

"You're the best, did you know that?" JJ mumbled, his arms tightening in a grasp around Avery that was firm, yet he cradled her frame in a way that she felt gentle, almost like she was a glass figurine of a person rather than a living breathing one, like she would break if his touch was anything but delicate.

"You're just saying that." Avery mumbled, grabbing her phone from the bedside table and resting her hands on JJ's bare back as she scrolled through Instagram.

"No, I'm not." JJ stated bluntly, finally opening his eyes and glancing up at the brunette girl. "I don't think I've ever met someone who is as perfect as you."

"I'm far from perfect and you know it- you hold my hair back when I'm throwing up half the time." Avery deadpanned. "That isn't very princess of me."

"I said perfect, not princess." JJ corrected the girl. "Princesses aren't perfect- Sarah Cameron is a princess, she's far from perfect. You're not a princess, you're just perfect."

Avery's smile widened as she stared down at the boy lying across her chest, ocean eyes and chocolate ones swirling together once more.

"There's that pretty blush I was talking about." JJ mumbled, Avery turning her face away from the Maybank and putting the palm of her left hand over her mouth.

"Shut up." She groaned, but the squint in her eyes gave away that she was smiling.

"Did you know you have dimples?" JJ asked suddenly.

"No I don't." Avery said, removing her hand from her mouth to reveal that her smile had disappeared in her state of confusion. JJ pushed himself up so he was sitting next to the Decker, cupping the side of her face suddenly and pressing her lips to his quickly before pulling away.

Avery grinned a little again, JJ pointing at her accusingly.

"See, you do!" He exclaimed happily, Avery laughing quietly and covering her mouth again, but JJ grabbed her wrist and pulled it away.

"Don't ever cover up your pretty face." The blonde told her firmly, pressing another kiss to her forehead before pulling away again and looking at Avery with a small smile on his face.

"Do you want breakfast?" The Decker asked, running the pad of her fingertips across the bands of silver on JJ's fingers, the rings that never left his hands all in their usual places.

"Of course I do." JJ said bluntly, wrapping his arms around Avery's waist again and sitting up, the Decker's legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as the Maybank boy stood up, carrying Avery out of her bedroom and towards the kitchen. "What're you thinkin'?"

"You can't cook." Avery deadpanned, unwrapping her legs from the blonde boy's torso as her bare feet hit the hardwood floor. "You know you can't cook."

"Yes, I can." JJ scoffed offendedly.

"Boiling water doesn't count as cooking." Avery replied with a small laugh. "And honestly, even if you could cook, I don't know if I would trust it."

"Ouch!" The Maybank boy exclaimed, putting a hand over his heart and pretending to be offended as Avery reached for a pan, which he quickly snatched from her hand. "I'm being serious. I will figure out how to cook whatever it is you want."

"I'm kinda craving French toast." Avery mumbled, JJ beaming at the statement.

"I already know how to make it." He told the girl proudly.

"Do you really now?" She asked, absolutely zero belief in the truth behind the boy's statement.

"I do, actually." JJ said sincerely. "I used to make it with my mom all the time, when she left I kept the recipe card after dad threw everything out."

"You actually know how to make French toast?" Avery asked in disbelief, shocked as she watched JJ pull all the ingredients out of the fridge and cabinets to make an egg wash.

"I do." JJ replied bluntly.

"Knock yourself out then." Avery told him, gesturing towards the stove. "I'm gonna get dressed, don't burn my house down!"

"You bet, baby." JJ called back, Avery smiling at the nickname as she practically skipped back to her room to change. She knew the Pogues were planning on taking Heyward's boat out to drop the drone before JJ and Avery had to help Pope with grocery deliveries, but aside from that, she assumed the day would be spent mostly at her house with JJ.

"That smells amazing." The Decker praised when she re-emerged from her bedroom, the oversized yellow shirt she had taken from John B about a week before drooping over the hem of her shorts a couple of inches.

"It tastes even better." JJ said confidently, grabbing two pieces of toast from the plate next to the stove and drizzling maple syrup over top of them. "Try it."

Avery grabbed a fork, cutting a piece of the crispy toast off and stabbing it, sliding it across the white plate where extra syrup had pulled before pulling the French toast off the fork with her teeth.

"Holy shit." The girl mumbled, covering her mouth while she chewed. "J, that's amazing!"

"I know, right?" JJ exclaimed, grabbing a piece for himself and drenching it in maple syrup, the sticky substance dripping down his chin as he attempted to take a proper bite out of the piece of toast.

"How the hell did your mom come up with this?" Avery questioned, cutting off more of the toast and dipping it into the syrup, licking the maple flavored goo off her lips as she did.

"It was just her thing, she made it all the time." JJ explained, smiling at the thought of a time when his mom was around to cook him meals and teach him how to make French toast and other assorted little dishes. "She taught me a lot, actually."

"What other hidden talents do you have?" Avery questioned, popping another bite of French toast into her mouth and raising her eyebrows at JJ.

"Y'know how I told you last night I couldn't dance?" JJ questioned, his cheeks flushing a light pink as he did. "I can dance. The elementary school used to do father-daughter and mother-son dances, so my mom taught me how to dance."

"I don't buy it." Avery said bluntly. "It's harder for someone who knows how to dance to pretend that they can't dance than it is for someone who can't dance to not be able to dance."

"I can, really!" JJ told the girl insistently, Avery tugging her phone out of her back pocket. "What're you doin'?"

"You claim you can dance, let's see it." Avery fired, setting her phone to, once again, be playing 'Dancing With Our Hands Tied' just as it had the night before.

"Okay, Cowgirl, I see what you did there." JJ retorted, but immediately grabbed Avery's left hand with his right as his other arm snaked around her waist and pulling her torso to him. Much to the Decker's surprise, JJ had the steps for a two-step down compared to last night, even adding spins and dipping the brunette on occasion.

"Holy shit, you can dance!" Avery exclaimed as JJ spun her around before tugging her body back to his, nodding.

"When're you gonna start believin' me the first time?" He questioned, swinging Avery's body out and away from his own in a spin before pulling her back in quickly, dipping her torso towards the floor and pulling her back up.

"When you stop lying so much." Avery retorted bluntly, intertwining her fingers with his once more as the two swayed back and forth, Avery leaning the side of her head against JJ's bare chest, feeling the Maybank rest his chin on the top of her head.

"I should probably get dressed." JJ mumbled as the song playing from Avery's phone faded out. "Finish your breakfast, baby."

"Okay." Avery whispered, but the two didn't pull apart. In fact, JJ turned his head so the side of his face was resting on top of Avery's scalp, the boy taking in a deep breath and releasing it contentedly.

"Do we really need to get ready? I mean, surely with Pope they can figure it out." JJ mumbled into Avery's hair, his fingers unlacing themselves with hers and wrapping around her waist, pulling her impossibly tighter.

"You're such a baby." Avery muttered into his chest.

"I am not a baby!" JJ scoffed offendedly, but Avery shook her head.

"You're so clingy- and I love it, don't get me wrong, but I think that deep down, you are a big, fat, softie." Avery retorted quietly, leaning away from JJ just enough to punctuate each of the three final words of her accusation with a press of her index finger into his sternum.

"I'm not a softie." JJ mumbled, but he avoided eye contact with the Decker as he did, a slight pink color rising in the apples of his cheeks.

"And you say I blush." Avery bit back, JJ turning to her with a smile plastered across every feature of his face.

"I'm not a softie." JJ replied firmly, not avoiding eye contact with Avery this time, but the color in his cheeks only flushed more as he did.

"So you have a soft spot for me." Avery replied. "That's the only explanation as to why you're the same color as that pillow over there." She added, nodding towards one of the hot pink throw pillows sitting on the edge of the couch.

"I guess I do." JJ whispered, pressing his lips to crown of Avery's head. "So... what are we?"

Avery was quiet for a minute, biting the inside of her cheek, a habit she had picked up when she was in deep though- the sides of her mouth were often bitten raw as there was hardly a time Avery wasn't thinking about something.

"Am I your girlfriend?" She asked suddenly. "You don't have to say yes, if you wanna go slow then I totally get it, I know how hard it is for you to commit and I don't want you to think-"

Avery was abruptly cut off as JJ pressed his lips to hers passionately before pulling away suddenly, Avery staring up at him in confusion.

"You ramble." He explained shortly. "And I would be honored to have you as my girlfriend. We probably shouldn't tell the Pogues yet, though. John B preaches 'no Pogue on Pogue macking' like it's the gospel so he probably wouldn't take to well to this."

"Didn't he kiss Kiara?" Avery questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"John B is also a hypocrite." JJ deadpanned. "As much as I don't want to, I'm gonna go get dressed. Eat up, Pretty Girl."

Avery grinned at his reply, the Maybank moving one of his calloused hands to the top of Avery's head to ruffle her hair gently before he started towards her bedroom, the Decker still smiling as she grabbed her plate of French toast and carried it over to the kitchen table, cutting into it with the fork once more. She smiled at JJ's nicknames for her, the way he held her hand, the way he grabbed her waist in a matter that was firm but showed affection, and the way he always managed to make her feel like she mattered to him.

"What's wrong?" JJ asked immediately as he walked back into the kitchen, noticing how Avery was just staring at the wall and still hadn't eaten half of her toast. "Does it not actually taste good- I can make you something else."

Avery immediately shook her head, noticing how JJ was looking at her with eyes wide in concern.

"Nothing's wrong, everything's perfect."

ONE YEAR PRIOR.

"Hey, JJ, what's up?" Avery chirped happily as she answered the phone. Currently, the Decker was lying across her roof, letting the Outer Banks sun soak into her skin, the summer heat doing great favors for her already tanned complexion.

"Can you come pick me up?" JJ asked quickly, voice on edge like it had been about a week before when Avery had picked him up on the side of the road.

"Where are you?" Avery asked, already sitting up and crawling back down through the skylight above the living room, her phone on speaker as she went to her room to get a tshirt to pull on over her bikini.

"I'm at my house- just call me when you get to the highway and I'll meet you there." The Maybank boy rushed out.

"JJ, if I need to come to your house I can." Avery assured, already running down the back steps towards her car. "Just tell me how to get there from where I picked you up."

"Take a right on the gravel that cuts across the road, you can't miss the house." JJ mumbled, Avery starting her car and backing out of her driveway and onto the blacktop. It was already night, meaning she had been outside for almost three hours now, the brunette making a mental note that that wasn't the best for her to do, but pushed it away quickly at the thought of someone being in trouble.

"I can see the gravel, just stay on the phone, okay?" Avery asked, JJ mumbling an agreement from the other end of the line as the Decker turned onto the gravel. Sure enough, she couldn't miss it. It was two stories, the second built into the roof and a different color than the first. The siding had started to fall off in a mismatched pattern, the paint around the windows peeling and flaking off in chunks.

"I see you!" JJ exclaimed quietly. The line dropped, and Avery glanced up to see JJ stumbling out of one of the windows, clutching his side as he did. Almost immediately, she climbed out of her car and strolled over to him.

"What the hell happened?" She exclaimed, JJ flinching a little at the sound and immediately turning to shush her, but Avery's face dropped at his state.

JJ's face had been painted in hues of yellow and purple, a particularly dark violet decorating the area around his left eye. Upon further inspection, Avery noticed that he had busted his lip open again, his knuckles were cracked open and bloody, and the clutching of his side wouldn't mean anything good.

"Please be quiet." JJ pleaded. "Can we please get out of here?"

"Yeah, yeah, come on." Avery mumbled, nodding for JJ to follow her back to her car. "My house?"

"Anywhere else." JJ breathed, Avery taking that as a yes and driving to her house, noticing how JJ would tense up or clutch at his side for any particularly bad bumps or potholes in the road.

"Do you need help getting up the stairs?" Avery asked as she parked the car, JJ shaking his head.

"'M not helpless, Avery." He retorted, climbing out of the car and, while struggling nonetheless, made it up the back steps of Avery's house without her help, despite her offers. When he finally did make it into the house, the blonde practically collapsed onto the couch, taking a deep breath as he did.

"What happened?" Avery asked, JJ shaking his head and gnawing on his bottom lip.

"Just another fight, it's no big deal." He assured, but Avery shook her head.

"JJ, this isn't a fight." She said bluntly. "Unless it was five-on-one, there's no way."

JJ was still chewing on his bottom lip, refusing to make eye contact with the brunette girl, who sat next to him, his eyes flicking back and forth between hers and the floor.

"Tell me what happened." She mumbled, despite already knowing the answer. Rich kids still had parents with anger and substance issues.

"It's my dad." JJ said, barely above a whisper. Avery's face fell further, her eyes flashing a look of sympathy to the boy whose leg had began to bounce anxiously on the hardwood.

"Oh, J." She whispered, moving closer to him. JJ shook his head.

"It's nothing that's never happened before, Avery." He told her bluntly. "Okay, I'm- I'm not new to this. It's not the first time, it's fine."

"No it isn't." Avery mumbled. "Nothing about this is fine, JJ."

"What're you gonna do, huh?" He questioned. "You wouldn't be the first person to go to the cops, they aren't gonna do anything, Avery." The Maybank snapped. Avery furrowed her brows at his sudden defensiveness, knowing he just didn't want to appear weak to the girl, but the small floods above his eyelash line betrayed him.

"You know you don't deserve it." Avery said finally, JJ finally turning to her. "And it isn't your fault, and nothing you did was bad enough to warrant this."

JJ stared at Avery for a couple seconds, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill at the girl's words.

"How do you know?" He asked, his voice cracking as he asked. "How do you know that I don't deserve it, I could be the worst kid ever and-"

"Nothing you do could justify your dad doing this." Avery repeated firmly. "You don't deserve it."

JJ's eyes slipped shut, the tears running down his face not going unnoticed by Avery, no matter how quickly he tried to wipe them away. Suddenly, the Maybank moved over towards the brunette, melting into her torso as his arms snaked around her waist, his whole body shaking as it raked with sobs.

Avery was quick to reciprocate, putting her arms around JJ's shoulders as the boy did his best to bury his face as far as possible into the nook of the Decker's neck, clinging onto her as though she was a lifeline more than someone he had just met.

"You're okay." Avery mumbled, running a hand through the boy's hair, tangling it in her fingers as she ran manicured fingertips across his scalp. "It can't be like this forever, and it won't be like this forever. You don't have to go back if you don't want to, I'm never gonna say no if you want to stay here. But I promise that it'll get better."

"How do you know?" JJ choked out quietly against the tanned skin of Avery's neck.

"The world never ends when you're sixteen." The Decker mumbled. "You have so much more to do, and you're going to be so great someday, and by then he won't even matter."

JJ didn't say anything, just continued to cry into Avery's shoulder. After about ten minutes, he had calmed down, the upper half of his body resting against Avery's torso as he inhaled and exhaled shaky breaths.

"Is that true?" He asked quietly, voice cracking ever so slightly as he did.

"Is what true?" Avery questioned.

"That the world doesn't end when you're sixteen." JJ elaborated, Avery nodding immediately.

"You're gonna do such great things some day, I know it. And you don't ever have to go back there, okay? I'll let you move in here, we can go get your stuff and you can stay in one of the guest rooms, it won't bother me at all." She continued, running a hand up and down JJ's bicep, the Maybank boy slightly shaking as he moved impossibly closer to Avery.

"I can't ask you to do that." He muttered into Avery's chest, voice choked as it trembled.

"You're not asking, and I'm not offering, I'm telling you." Avery replied firmly. "I won't let you go back there, okay? You don't deserve that."

"You don't even know me." JJ mumbled, turning his head so he was glancing at the floor again rather than looking Avery in the face.

"I know you well enough." The brunette girl told the boy, who had now practically curled himself against her. "You could never do anything to make this a reasonable reaction, JJ. Do you mind me asking what happened?"

JJ swallowed thickly, clearing his throat as he shrugged.

"I had some left over cash from work and he saw it in my wallet when I left it on the table, accused me of taking it from him." The Maybank mumbled. "It's normal, he gets drunk enough and forgets he hasn't had a job in weeks."

"That isn't normal, JJ." Avery whispered.

"Yeah, you can say that because you're rich." JJ snapped, but he tightened his grip on Avery's waist as he did, the girl's heart faltering as the boy clung onto her in a way that almost seemed he needed her to stay exactly where she was in that moment.

"JJ... I've seen this before. I promise I have, it's never something that's easy to deal with," Avery started, the blonde glancing up at her with wide eyes. "I know it's a very delicate issue, and that there's no easy way to go about it, but I also know that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I sent you back there."

JJ just stared up at Avery, unable to form a sentence for fear of saying the wrong thing and aggravating the Decker girl to the point she went back on her word and sent him back anyways.

"You don't have to go back there, JJ. You can stay here. You don't need to pay me anything, you don't need to do anything for me, I just want to know you're safe." Avery continued, looking down at JJ, who was once again gnawing on his bottom lip as his foot tapped anxiously against the floor.

"He's still my dad, Ave." JJ mumbled. "He cares about me, I know he does, he just doesn't know how to show it."

Avery's face fell impossibly further at JJ's tone- it sounded almost as though he was trying to convince himself that there was any hope of salvaging the relationship between himself and his father, like if he said that phrase enough, maybe it would come true, that he would start to believe it more.

"JJ, this isn't okay." The Decker mumbled, not knowing what to do for him aside from try and convince him to stay at her house, after all, she definitely had the room for him. Four walls got lonely after a while, and Avery was already quickly running out of enjoyment when it came to eating entire tubs of ice cream while rewatching 'The Big Bang Theory'.

"You think I don't know that?" JJ choked out, though it was clear he was trying not to cry again. "I'm really tired, Avery, can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course." Avery mumbled, JJ smiling at her response.

"It'll just be a couple of days, just until I can start staying at John B's again, I promise." JJ muttered, Avery shaking her head immediately.

"Don't even worry about it, stay as long as you need, I don't mind." She assured. "I have a ton of guest rooms or you can just stay on the couch again, whatever you wanna do."

"I'll probably just stay on the couch." JJ assured with a small laugh. "Thank you, really, you have no idea how much of a favor you're doing for me."

"Don't mention it." Avery assured. "I assume you still know where the spare sheets and stuff are?"

"I do." JJ said proudly, finally sitting up from where he had practically laid on top of the brunette girl before stretching his arms back and groaning, clearly tired. "I'm really sorry to spring this on you so suddenly, I just... I couldn't stay there."

"Don't worry about it, I don't mind." Avery assured with a smile. "I'm gonna go get ready for bed, if you need anything I'll be in my room, just... make yourself at home."

"I will." JJ replied with a small smile.

"Want me to clean your face up again? It looks pretty nasty." Avery added, motioning towards JJ's busted lip and assorted small cuts and bruises littering his face, but the blonde shook his head.

"'M gonna be fine, Ave. You don't have to dote on me." JJ assured. "I've been through worse before."

"Are you sure? I don't mind." Avery told him, but JJ shook his head once more.

"It'll be fine, really." He told her firmly. "Don't let me keep you up, go get ready for bed." The Maybank added, ushering with his hand for her to go do whatever she needed to do, Avery giving him a small smile before starting down the hall to her room. Within thirty minutes she had gotten herself ready, as well as found one of her particularly baggy t-shirts she had undoubtedly stolen from one of her guy friends in Texas as well as a pair of sweatpants that she had to tie the drawstring as tight as possible on to wear and taken them out to the living room.

"Hey." She mumbled, JJ glancing up at her from where he had been fiddling with the silver rings on his fingers on top of the blanket he hand found in one of the guest rooms. "I brought you some pajamas, only if you want them."

JJ smiled again. "Thanks." He mumbled, climbing off the couch and walking over to take the clothes from Avery.

"Okay, well, see you in the morning." The brunette breathed, tucking a piece of her hair behind her left ear and giving JJ one last smile before turning to walk down the hall to her room.

"Hey, Avery?" JJ called quietly just before Avery stepped into her room, the girl glancing up at JJ and waiting for him to continue. "Can I... can I stay in your room tonight?"

Avery looked at him in confusion for a moment, the moonlight lighting up JJ's blue eyes as they stared at her, a pleading look drowning out all feelings Avery had in that moment, the girl nodding firmly.

"Come on." She whispered, JJ only nodding in reply, the blonde boy veering off to the bathroom before going to Avery's room, the Decker sitting up against the headboard and scrolling mindlessly on her phone until a knock on the white doorframe pulled her from her thoughts.

JJ didn't say anything as Avery nodded him over to her bed, tapping her hand on the white duvet, waiting for the boy to climb into her sheets. What she didn't expect was for him to lay directly on top of the duvet, the small shiver creeping up his spine not going unnoticed by the Decker as he did.

"JJ, you can sleep under the blanket." Avery told him with a small laugh. "I don't mind, really."

JJ still didn't reply, just moved so he could pull the duvet cover back and crawl under it, laying stiffly on his back as he did, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"JJ, relax." Avery mumbled. "I'm not uncomfortable with you being here at all."

This finally gained a reaction from him, the Maybank only turning his head towards the girl who was now sitting crisscrossed with her elbows resting on her knees as she slouched forwards, her hair gently brushing her tanned thighs.

"Really?" He asked quietly, Avery nodding and sliding under the covers herself.

"Really." She whispered, turning over so she was facing him. "Wanna tell me what's wrong?"

JJ shook his head, a smile slowly creeping up on his features.

"Nothing's wrong, everything's perfect."

kens speaks 🪐

this was different

i love writing chapters that are all my own work but idk how to write couples without it being weird, like how do i make it not sound like they're about to start baby-talking each other

anywho gotta keep the jjavery content up for mara as we both envy avery more than we probably should, but it's fine