The one thing I hate the most about people (and myself) is how hard it is to understand them. Like, I might say something innocently and someone might take it the complete wrong way, so then we're both angry with each other. And I can't tell whether people are joking, so I take everything personally/literally, and they spend the rest of their time wondering why I'm suddenly avoiding them. And only a few people in my close family know about my brain, so it makes masking SO HORRIBLE BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE BEING WEIRD AND ALOOF WHEN YOU'RE NOT.

And throughout my entire life, so many people have betrayed my trust in some way. 

My first ever best friend: Decided to spread rumours about me in her new school and talk crao about me while I supported her

My other friends at the time: Openly avoided me

My second best friend: Gave away everything I ever confided in her, to the point where I'm scare to even tell her about my day

Everyone else I've considered a friend: Manipulated or made fun of me in SOME sort of way

My sister: Told all her friends about my personal life

My parents: Not even gonna start

At this point the only people there for me are freaking. Book. Characters. And they don't even exist. Like, I'll be wondering around my school, making up a bunch of scenes of book characters and OCs in my head, then suddenly get upset because the people I'm closest to and love the most aren't even alive.

And with the few people I do feel comfortable with, it's because I hide my true personality around them, and act comletely normal. But then all my progress goes away because of one stupid thing I say that makes things awkward between us.

So I'm done masking.

I'm done making my own life hell just so I can fit in with others.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna flaunt the weird.