For my friend ~ diagonalleyz
And for KoKo ~ KoKo523

【 In which James' mind is changed on matters of stargazing... 】

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James had never quite taken to stargazing. Astronomy had always muddled him; all the little tables and trinkets that it entailed was enough to bore him half to death. He knew the phases of the moon simply for the purposes of Remus and that was it. End of story.

This irked his father considerably, he had loved nothing more than poring over telescopes, astronomy books and about a million other things James didn't understand. He even had his own telescope room at the top of their home, although James seldom found himself there, unless he was with Sirius who would often drag him up there to find 'his star' when he was at a particular phase of drunkenness.

It wasn't that he disliked the stars in particular, he could understand how others found them pretty, he just didn't care for the thought of spending hours looking at the same damn thing.

"The stars are lovely tonight, don't you think? I've always been partial to a new moon. A lot of people prefer the full moon but I think that's bogus, a new moon has a certain beauty, doesn't it just?"

James looked down at the head girl trotting along by his side as they made their rounds of the castle. He nodded, finding himself agreeing for a completely different reason than the way the new moon looked to favour it over a full (he had a broken wrist and a nasty tear on his shoulder as evidence to vouch for his decision).

"And I've always loved the stars, haven't you? They tell such wonderful stories, it's like nature's Shakespeare." She went on, her awe-struck tone was difficult to condescend because despite vigorously disagreeing he would have listened to Lily Evans talk about Cornelius Agrippa for the rest of his life if it meant he would be with her, listening to her voice. She had a heavenly voice; one that made everything seem okay in the world. Sometimes when he listened to her he could forget about the entire world, the war, his parent's death, the attacks, the death eaters, everything.

"Nature's Shakespeare?" He chuckled at her choice of words. It sounded like something his father might have said.

"Aren't you convinced?"

James shook his head despite himself.
"Nature's Shakespeare is pushing it, I think."

Lily stopped walking altogether, turning to look at him as if he'd shot her pet cat, "James, do you even like stargazing?"

He wanted to say yes. He was going to say yes, to end the conversation before he upset her in some way. But there was something about the way that she was looking at him; her magnificent flames of red hair dripping down her back; her freckles dusting her face like glitter, or sprinkles; and her gaze so curious and lighthearted. There was something about her whole appearance in the light of midnight that made it impossible for him to lie to her, "I would be lying if I told you I did."

"What?!" She cried, her mouth falling open as she stared at him with irises the colour of jade and pupils like spilled ink, "you can't not like stargazing! It's the most non-magical, magical thing in the world!"

He laughed, "you make it sound much better than it is."

"That's because it is!" Lily gave him a disbelieving look that made him wonder why he didn't just lie to her to keep her happy. He would do anything to keep her happy after all.
She grabbed his arm and pulled:

"Woah! Where are we going?"

"To the end of this corridor, I want to show you this!" She didn't hang around for a response or any form of consent before she yanked at him again and they ran to the end of the fifth floor corridor.

They reached the window and Lily stuck her head out into the open air, far enough to make James feel a little bit sick.
"Come on now, Lily, reign it in!" He took her waist and pulled gently, she didn't listen to him although she skunk back into the hall ever so slightly (James still felt uneasy with the prospect that she might be blown away).
"Right. What is it I'm supposed to be gushing over?"

"This, look! This is the clearest night we've had all year!" She pointed upwards to a cluster of specially bright stars directly ahead of them,
"That's the next galaxy from us. Isn't it spectacular that we can see something so far away and it seems to close?"

"It just looks like a bunch of lights to me. Me and my quidditch team could cast a Lumos each and it'd have the same effect from a distance." He replied, now rather enjoying vexing Lily with his obstinate narrow-mindedness.

She turned around sharply, her hair whipping him in the face and he spluttered, "it's not the same! I can't believe we're even having this conversation!"

"Nor can I! I have it enough with Sirius, and I had it with my dad before..." he let himself grow faint. He hadn't told Lily yet, he didn't want her sympathy like he knew she would give him. As much as he enjoyed the times they would share an armchair in the common room or stop by the kitchens on patrols he preferred doing these things with her knowing that it was genuine; not just something she did to make him feel better. It made him much more happy knowing that she did these things because she wanted to, offered her friendship because she wanted to and not because she felt had to.

"Before?"

He jumped, "just before..."

"Hmm."

Eager to change the subject James took her hand and pulled her back inside, "you'll catch your death before you fall out that window, Lily!"

"Your arse! I was fine!" She stropped (he loved it when Lily stropped, she could make his heart melt with the look she gave him when she stropped).

"Lily, I am not going to be held responsible for man-slaughter! The aurors have enough on their plate without a murder investigation to carry out it a school! Imagine the scandal!"

Lily, however, was having none of it. She merely rolled her eyes and raced off down the corridor, sending him a look over her shoulder that cried 'chase me!'

He let her win. He always let her win...

The Heads common room lay empty until much later, but eventually the two occupants came stumbling in crying with laughter and smelling vaguely of firewiskey (which was 'the good stuff' according to Sirius– that was why they had stolen it from the boys dorm while they slept).

"You know what?" Lily giggled, taking James by the hand and dragging him through the portrait hole with a grin.

"Whassat?"

"The stars are like... so pretty tonight!" She cried, bopping her knees with excitement, the kind of vivaciousness that James found painfully endearing.

"I told you, stargazing s' boring!" He slurred in reply, sneering at the window as if that proved a fine point.

"Is not!"

"Hmm..."

Lily shook her head, sending her red waves around in a frenzy, the starlight outside made her hair seem the colour of an expensive sort of red wine.
"I'll tell y'what? Why don't we go stargazing tomorrow? I'll teach you how to make it exciting?"

He contemplated the proposition for a while. Of course there was the small chance that Lily would prove herself right, and James would have to endure the mortification of admitting defeat; but then again there was the thrill of spending time with Lily. Spending time with her was always worth the humiliation.

"Okay. But I assure you... It'll be..." he paused to hiccup, then lost his trail of thought, "...shit. It'll be shit."

She gasped, "it will not be shit!"

"We'll see. Goodnight Lily."

Lily smiled up at him, she was probably standing a little too close to him to be dignified but James didn't see himself minding much.
"Goodnight James, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay."

Tomorrow came sooner than expected. It also came with an upset stomach and a sore head: a mild hangover.

"Feeling alright, Potter?"

James opened his eyes the next morning to see Lily sat on the edge of his bed, stroking his hair in attempt to wake him up gently.
"Potter? You up?"

"M'up." He informed her with a groan, stretching his arms above his head and tearing his eyes open with great difficulty.
"How're you so chipper?"

"Pepper Up Potion: bloody lifesaver." She held out a small vial under his nose, it didn't smell very inviting.
"Drink up, there's a good boy."

He snarled at her from beneath the blankets but drank the liquid nonetheless. The elixir seeped through his body like magic and he smiled.

"Better?"

"Yeah. Surprising that stuff works," he sat up and took the vial off her, giving it a sniff, "it smells like ketamine though, and there's probably enough to conk out the Grand National!"

Lily spluttered helplessly, nearly slipping off the corner of the bed as she wiped away a tear, "maybe I gave you a dose too many. Come on let's get some breakfast. It's Friday, and don't forget where we're going tonight. Prepare to be proved wrong!"

"In your dreams, Evans! Now clear off and let me get dressed! Unless, of course, you'd rather watch?" He winked suggestively. She rolled her eyes and slipped out the room, closing the door behind her.

Time always passed dreadfully slow whenever he knew there was a moment in the day he would got to spend with Lily. Whether that be studying for a charms test, patrolling the corridors, competing in a horrendous bet or something else entirely, he couldn't help but count down the minutes. There seemed to be too many in a day. He decided to spend them watching the clock which didn't do him very well, it had the same effect on him as stargazing: watching the same thing for a prolonged amount of time made him feel rather homicidal.

"You alright, Prongs?"

"Fine?"

"Late night?" (A wink).

"Shut up."

James was surprised at how long it took for the sun to set in October. Usually it was pitch black before five o clock but today things seemed to move slower (whether that was nature or his lack of patience it was hard to tell). He had never been excited to stargaze in his entire life...

"James? Are you coming?"

"Coming where?"

"Don't pretend you don't remember," she sighed, taking his hand, hoisting him out his chair and marching him to his bedroom to search for extra layers.
"It's cold." She had told him.

They found themselves later outside roaming the grounds, looking for somewhere suitable to stop. Lily lead the way with conviction, scouting the grounds with the intention of finding the perfect spot.

"Here," she announced after a while of meticulous hunting.
"Si'down."

He sat, his back against a birch tree that was bleeding orange and yellow leaves which Lily swished aside before taking a seat next to him, lying down with her head next to his lap, as if she might have put her head there but decided against it.

"See?"

"I've not had a chance to look up yet!" James chuckled, suspending his head to observe a night sky clearer than the previous new moon.

"Do you see now?"

"I see stars." He deadpanned.

"Wonderful. Congratulations," Lily sighed, shifting uncomfortably so she could get a better angle to point above her.

He grinned at her futile efforts, "just get up here for the love of Merlin!" He patted his lap and laughed at her bashful smile.

"You sure?"

He nodded reassuringly as she lay her head down on his lap and smiled, suddenly much more comfortable.
"Now: you see this one here?"

"Which one where?"

She looked up at him for a moment, "that one there. I can't make this any clearer, James, can't you tell?"

"Evidently."

She shook her head and reverted her gaze to the sky.
"The bight one just off that little cluster?"

"There's two little clusters! This is why stargazing is a waste of time!"

"No it's not, wait until you know all the stars little stories, each one has a background. It's worth learning."

James looked up back to the cluster she was pointing to (or rather the one he thought she was pointed to) but all he could see was his father. His laugh, his smile, his stupid jokes, his fascination with the stars. He had often tried to get James to pay more attention to astronomy but he'd never listen. He'd call it boring but now he would give anything, all the stars in the sky, just to spend more time with him. Even if that meant watching a pile of lights above his head.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you alright?"

He hadn't realised he'd been crying until Lily sat up and wiped a tear off his check.

"You know the real reason I hate stargazing?"

She shook her head, still wiping away the tears that were dripping down his face, occasionally kissing the ones on his cheeks, not demanding to know why, not pushing, not probing, just holding his face in her hands, kissing and wiping away his tears calmly.
"Not if it makes you like this."

That was perhaps the most angelic thing she had ever said. He watched her with clouded eyes as she continued her mission of comfort without another word as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The sky still twinkled and winked above them but it was momentarily forgotten, it would still be there tomorrow.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"My parents died over the holidays. I didn't want you knowing because I don't want you to pity me but I realise how thick that makes me sound because you would never pity me, ever. You're wonderful and I totally forgot just how wonderful you were."
She hadn't let go of his face the entire time, she was holding him like he held all the secrets to the universe. Haply, to her, he did. Lily certainly did for him.

"It's okay. There's no need to worry," she smiled through her own tears.
"My dad died last year. You're the first person I've told."

"Lily, I—"

"—shh."

She continued to kiss his tears slowly and tenderly; his cheek, his jaw, his nose, his chin until finally she pressed her lips to his. Her kiss was sweet and tender, loving. It was so perfectly Lily. It tasted of tears and hot chocolate and felt like nothing he'd ever experienced before.

When she pulled away neither of them were crying anymore, their faces cracked with drying tears but small smiles there nonetheless. That's what war did to people: let them smile when the tears were dry.

James shifted off the tree so he could lie down on the grass, letting Lily slip under his arm as they watched the stars in contented silence. The odd crunch of a blowing leaf of the soft lapping of the black lake to serenade them like the finest symphony either of them had heard.

The stars, James had come to realise, were a constant. That was why people liked them so much. Despite whatever horrors might occur during the day, once the sun had set the stars were always there to twinkle for you. And perhaps this one time Lily was right: the longer one looked at them the more stories they told.

"James did you see?" Lily whispered, excitedly, breaking the silence to point to a shooting star ripping through the blackness.

"Make a wish," he murmured into her hair.

"I wish morning would never come."
She turned her head to look at him, he realised that despite having the whole universe to watch, including comets fly along the night sky, including stars of all sorts of sizes, including planets and galaxies, including anything he wanted to see, but despite it all he'd much rather just watch her.

He looked deeply into her eyes. They were the most lustrous jade he had ever seen. It was like a forest after rain, but despite the wonder of the colour in his eyes, James quite liked her pupils just as much. He had never seen pupils that twinkled quite like hers; they were dilated as she gazed at him, showing to the full extent just how nonpareil they were. Like pools of black ink spilt across parchment, like an abyss, a galaxy, a night sky.

It was then, that finally, after everything; after listening to his father pour over telescopes, watching a drunk Sirius point out his star and after Lily almost killing herself out the window, it was then. It was that moment as he looked into the magical lull of the blacks of her eyes that he finally learned what it was like to stargaze.

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