chapter eight

jawbreaker

I fell asleep that night thinking about Tsukasa Takajo. His perfect face. His soothing voice. The way his hand felt when he pulled me up to go over to the beer pong table. The way he smiled at me. Made me feel special.

As I was lying in bed that night, my dreams and my subconscious took control. If you asked Sigmund Freud, I'm sure he'd have a better idea of what transpired that night. If you asked me, I'd say I was probably a little bit drunk.

Images danced through my head: Tsukasa's lips on mine, his warm hands trailing places they shouldn't, his lips leaving a trail of bold marks up and down my neck, the electric crackle in the air as dream-me fell back onto a bed that magically appeared, most of her clothes suddenly gone. Legs coiled around his body, the sharp snapping of his hips as he thrusted deeper and deeper inside of her, mumbling dirty praises into her ear-

You're taking me so well, princess

I shot up in my bed, breathing heavily and covered in a light sheen of sweat My head still echoed with lines of dialogue from my dream.

Fuck, right there. . . harder, baby, harder. . . ohhh

My stomach churned as I tried to wrap my head around it.

I had a grand total of one (1) conversation with the guy, and look where my head was at now.

"Fuck." I cursed, holding my head in my hands as I groped the nightstand for my bedside digital clock, desperate to know if it was even worth trying to fall asleep after whatever the HELL that was.

There was fifteen minutes until my alarm went off. On a good day, it would take double that to fall asleep again. I slumped back against the pillows, feeling utterly defeated as I tried to cleanse my mind of the sexy horrors that my brain had conjured up while I was asleep.

Tsukasa probably didn't even like me like that.

Lying in bed, I turned my phone on again, scanning briefly through my notifications, which were usually nothing of importance, when my heart stopped.

Instagram: _tsukasa.takajo liked your post.

Not just for my most recent post, but the two before that as well. Was Tsukasa lurking on my page? Was this a sign that he was even a little bit interested in me like that?

My alarm finally went off, and I dragged myself out of bed with the intention of having a warm shower before delivering a series of tezt messages to Madoka asking for her advice, knowing she had gone through similar turmoil when she was crushing on Shinya. I wasn't even sure who made the first move, as they were acting like a couple long before they acted on it.

I stood under the stream of warm water, lost in thought about a whole manner of things: college in Tokyo and the wonders that would come with it, if I was selling myself short by exclusively applying to colleges instead of the prestigious universities chosen by girls like Shizuka Morita and the smarter girls at Seiho-Hope Hills. As I shampooed my hair, I reflected on the giddy feeling I got when I saw the notifications from Tsukasa. Coupled with my weird-ass dream from the night before, what did any of it even mean? I'd been down the does he like me - does he not road before with Takahide, and I wasn't eager to climb down that rabbit hole again.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, wrapped in a plaid flannel shirt as I did my morning acne treatment, hair bundled up loosely behind my head with a plastic clip. My phone was buzzing like crazy on the bathroom counter, the screen aglow with messages from Madoka. 

The short version was this: Fujio had posted a series of pictures from the cookout at Oya, and Madoka wanted to know why I was in them.

This was going to be a fun conversation.

____

To be perfectly honest, there aren't too many things I like about Seiho-Hope Hills, and some deranged part of me sometimes wished I went to Katsunari, where the standards were far lower. The teachers pushed us hard, which I understand is what they're supposed to do, but sometimes it was all too much. One thing, however, that I did like about the big, imposing, grey brick building was the courtyard where I ate lunch with Madoka and Yui.

The courtyard was a large square field in the middle of the building, which was built like a giant-ass square with no center, attached by two concrete walkways to two bigger extension buildings where most of our classes where. The courtyard was lined with wooden picnic tables, and the home economics and agriculture classes had started multiple gardens in the area that made it feel less like a school, and more like a public park.

Out picnic table, the one we had claimed since freshman year, was off to the side, away from the noise and hidden nicely under a large oak tree, shading us from the harsh summer sun. A small part of me was going to miss the place while I was in Tokyo, but I knew I was going to miss the two girls sitting with me even more, each of us destined for different paths after our final graduation ceremony. Only nine months of school to go, and I was dreading every minute of it.

"You did WHAT?" Madoka cried, her voice carrying over the courtyard.

I rolled my eyes, shoving more noodles in my mouth in an attempt to avoid answering her question. Because if I decided to give Madoka and Yui the full story, I'd have to mention the sex dream too, and nobody needed to know about that. It was between me and God, and neither of us were happy with that arrangement.

"Seki dragged me out to Oya and I talked to some of the guys. It's not a big deal."

"You left out the part about Tsukasa Takajo flirting with you." Yui pointed out, wiggling her eyebrows. "I mean, Sachio doesn't really think much about those Oya kids anyways, but I do believe he called Tsukasa one of the better ones."

Thanks a lot, Yui.

"And don't forget Tsukasa followed you on Instagram, and was creeping on your pictures!" Madoka reminded, slamming her hands down on the table. "I can talk to Fujio, find out exactly what Tsukasa-chan is thinking."

Groaning, I buried my head in my hands, cursing my outgoing, anxiety-free friends. There were so many things that could go wrong with Madoka's plan, things that could end up with me being totally embarrassed out of my mind. But Madoka didn't see those things. She only saw the version of events that ended with me and Tsukasa kissing in one of the burnt out cars around my building in Hope Hills.

"Some days I wonder why I tell you guys stuff."

"Because you love us." Yui chortled.

"Ah, but she loves Tsukasa more." Madoka giggled, causing my face to turn red. I reached into my bentou box and grabbed one of the small antiseptic wipes my mom packed in case of emergencies, chucking the paper-wrapped package at Madoka's head and catching her in the nose.

We promptly all burst into laughter, garnering attention from some of the other tables, filled with uniform-clad girls with brighter futures than mine. But that was okay, for now. Because we were all here and we were all together.

And that was all that mattered.

NOTES!!!

tell me why this chapter took so long-

i've been so distracted by my formula one obsession lately, so if you see me drop a drive to survive fic soon, no you didn't <3 but it's gonna be very dramatic and chaotic so go look at it in my plot showcase when I get around to it. maybe i will skip some of the gifs and just post it as is????

also, ferrari f1 team, can i borrow charles leclerc to bring to prom? i promise ill bring your golden boy back to win another grand prix <333

AND ONE MORE THING!

THE WORST CROSS X TRAILER GUYS THE BOYS ARE BACK THE BOYS ARE SAD BUT THE BOYS ARE BACK ( that was a waterparks reference. go stream gloom boys by waterparks, ik its an old one but it is forever iconic )