I MET THE DEVIL
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GENRE
ANGST
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WARNINGS
MURDER, DEATH, GUNS, POISON, IMPLIED CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE
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RELATIONSHIP
CATTY PORTER X THERAPY
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NOTES
writing angst is a coping mechanism

~⮿~

Catty sat across from her court appointed therapist, Dr. Holmes. The teen had her arms crossed. A fresh bruise from a recent fight bloomed across her cheek.

Dr. Holmes crossed her legs. "So, Catalina," she said. "You're here, why?"

Catty rolled her eyes. "You've read my file. You know."

"Right," the doctor sighed. "You got into a fistfight outside Wal-mart and chose therapy instead of juvie."

Catty gave her a fake smile. "Exactly." She crossed her arms and shut her mouth.

Dr. Holmes wrote something down. "Catalina, why are you so angry?" she asked.

"Catty," the girl corrected.

"Catty," the doctor said, "why are you so angry?"

Catty took a breath. "I met the devil."

~⮿~

The year was 1982. Catty had been with HYDRA for two years. She was so young then. Almost innocent.

The little girl sat in a van with three men. One was her father. One was S.H.I.E.L.D.-HYDRA double agent. The other was another scientist, who'd helped Gerard create the Empathy Serum.

This was Catty's first mission. A S.H.I.E.L.D agent had discovered a HYDRA mole. Catty was meant to lead him to his death.

"Do you remember the plan, Catalina?" Gerard asked.

She nodded. "I go to the agent's house and tell him I got lost. Then I lead him to the van. I hold his hand so I know if he starts getting suspicious."

Her father kissed the top of her head. "Good girl. You're so smart."

Calm.

Pride.

Catty smiled. Gerard was proud of her. Proud! For remembering the mission.

"Go on now, dear," Gerard urged, opening the door of the van. Catty climbed out. She walked to the agent's address. Her first mission!

The girl knocked on the door. Her hands shook. It had to be the nerves. But she would make Gerard proud. She would succeed.

The door opened. There stood a middle-aged man. "Hey, uh, kid," he said, leaning on the doorframe. "I ain't got money for no girlscout cookies."

Catty looked up at him, giving her most pitiful face. "I was walking around the neighborhood, and I got lost, and I can't find my way home, and- and-" She sniffled. "I just want my mama..."

The man looked down at her. "Poor dear," he remarked. "Do you know your address? I can help you find your home."

"8076 Good Lane," Catty told him.

He nodded and took her hand. Catty felt his emotions flood into her. 

Pity. 

Sadness.

At least he wasn't suspicious.

The pair walked, Catty slowing down slightly as they neared the van. The agent still didn't suspect a thing.

They walked by. Catty saw her face reflected in the tinted window. That's when she felt hands grab her. A gun was pressed to her temple.

"Don't try to be a hero," one of Gerard's coworkers said. "Or the girl gets it."

Catty froze in his arms, making her carefully practiced scared face. She had to look terrified. Terrified to die, even though she knew they'd never shoot her.

The S.H.I.E.L.D. man put his hands up in surrender. "Leave the girl out of this," he said firmly. "She's done nothing wrong." 

Oh, if only he knew.

Gerard opened the back door of the van. "In," he commanded the man, who complied.

The HYDRA agents bound the man in rope and secured him in the van. Catty watched, the gun still to her temple.

One of the other agents pulled out a gun to end the man, but Gerard held up a hand to stop him. "Let Catty have this one," he said with a cruel smirk.

The man holding her let her go. A gun was put in her hands. 

She didn't remember the rest clearly. She didn't even remember pulling the trigger. All she remembered was watching the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent die, choking on his own blood. She remembered Gerard's hand on her shoulder.

She remembered feeling good, for making Gerard proud.

Later, she was in her room. Well, calling it a room would be an overstatement. It was more of a cell, really.

A man walked in, clean clothes in hand. He set them on Catty's cot. She recognized him as the man who'd held her at gunpoint.

"You did so good on your mission," he told her, rubbing her shoulders. "Your father sent me to give you a change of clothes, but I think you deserve a reward first..."

Catty allowed it. By then, she knew better than to fight back.

~⮿~

It was 1987. Catty's seventh year with HYDRA, her fifth after her first mission. And she was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of killing. Tired of being a weapon.

She just wanted to be a little girl again.

Now, she sat in the back of a van. She was pretending to be a Brookinian diplomat's daughter to kill a Russian diplomat. 

"You're going to do amazing, darling," Gerard told her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Pride.

Expectance.

Typical.

Catty forced a smile. "I know I will, Daddy." The words tasted like poison on her tongue. But she knew she couldn't make Gerard mad.

Gerard smiled. "Good girl. Now, hurry in and get rid of Mikhail."

Catty obediently climbed out of the van. She walked towards the building where King Ferdinand and Mikhail Zubenko were meeting. She felt like a dog. A dog with a shock collar. One that would electrocute her if she disobeyed.

She was twelve now. She'd graduated from "messy" weapons, such as guns, to "cleaner" methods, like poison. Hidden in her sleeve was a vial of Ricin. She wondered how quickly a dose meant for a grown man could kill an almost-teenage girl. She didn't try anything, though.

It wasn't ten minutes since she'd walked in that Catty was being chased by FLOWER agents. The poison had been discarded, unused. She hadn't known there was a metal detector, and the needle set it off.

Someone grabbed her. She thrashed, ready to fight. That is, until she saw who it was.

Gerard.

Anger.

Disappointment.

"You failed," he hissed. "And we could all be caught because of you!" He roughly dragged her back to the van.

Later, Catty was back in her cell. She was holding Hambo, her sock monkey. Two men came in. Catty laid on her cot, expecting the usual. 

One of the men grabbed her by the hair, hauling her to her feet. "Don't you dare fucking lay down," he hissed. "You don't get to, after blowing that mission."

Catty flinched, and not just from her hair being pulled.

"Gerard sent us here to punish you," the other man piped up. He backhanded Catty, pushing her back into the first man's chest. She felt blood drip down her nose.

By the time the men were done, Catty could barely move. She'd stopped blaming herself for the beatings. She knew whose fault it really was.

So that night, she decided, she was going to leave. 

She would escape.

Escape HYDRA.

Escape Gerard.

~⮿~

"Why am I so angry?" Catty repeated. "I met the devil. His name is Gerard Porter."