I wrote this poem during my freshman year of college. It was made to silently spite the friends I had made there who had treated me terribly and made me question myself. It was also made based on the fact that I was in the wrong major and struggled due to my lack of knowledge while others around me thrived. In the poem, I also address the fears that led me to get a roommate who became one of my best friends and made living in college much easier for me. Finally, I also talk about a racially charged event where a group of boys yelled comments at me from outside of my dorm. I hope you appreciate this poem. It's definitely one of my favorites.

I want you to suffer like I did

Cause when the victor rises, sweat atop their brow brandishing a medal proudly across their chest smiling cause they know they couldn't have done it without stepping on a few toes and the people that sneered at them, the people that disliked them simply for being themselves are nothing but dust beneath their shoes, I don't want it to be you

I want you to swim in discomfort like I did

I want you to choke through salty ocean waves struggling to keep your head above water only to find that your competitors were diving in with ease and those who struggled received guidance because they weren't afraid to ask

I want you to look stupid like I did

I want everyone to notice how weak you are as you muscle your way through battles of brute strength

I want them to laugh as the sweat sticks to your forehead,

I want you to cry as the blood drips from your cuticles from months of hard labor only to feel useless in the end and no one cares

I want your suffering to exist purely in your mind so when others don't understand why you couldn't get out of bed, why you were scared of the pitter-patter inside the vents in your room why when they screamed at you from the sidewalk it tormented you for weeks you will truly know what anguish is