Inspired by Community S1E16: "Communication Studies"

Percy POV

"Hey, so I know we said we weren't going to go all out for Valentine's Day or anything, but I was hoping, maybe, that you would go-to-the-dance-with-me?" He can barely get the words out without stuttering.

"Oh, wow, this is so sweet of you, Percy!" Rachel takes the flowers he brought her—carnations. Annabeth likes carnations, so Rachel might like red carnations too, right?

Rachel laces her arms around Percy's shoulders and wraps him in a hug. "I'd love to go to the dance with you!"

"Great! I'll pick you up at eight," he says. "I've, uh, gotta go meet my study group now."

"Okay!"

Percy opens the door to find some of the group already seated. Jason's at his usual spot at the head of the table, and Frank and Hazel are sitting next to each other. Percy doesn't mind that Hazel gave his seat away to Frank. He just moves to sit next to Annabeth. He's been wanting to get closer to her lately, even if he's totally lost his chances of dating her.

And that's fine! Everything happens for a reason! He has Rachel now. She's an art major, and she's from New York too, so they'll be able to hang out in the summer. She's great.

"So who was that?" Frank asks.

"Who?" Percy forgot that he might have to answer to his friends about Rachel. Not that he doesn't want to, it's just... he doesn't want to.

"Well, you're like the dad of our group," says Frank. "So, in a way, that redhead girl is like our new mom."

"No! Guys, do you really think of me as your dad?"

Hazel nods.

"Spit it out, Perce," says Jason. "Who's my mommy?"

"Gross, man. That's just Rachel. I'm taking her to the Valentine's Day dance. We aren't even official yet," Percy explains.

He takes out his phone and answers a couple of texts. He tells his mom that Rachel said yes to the dance and that he had pancakes for breakfast.

For some reason, he checks his voicemail. He doesn't usually do that, but a voicemail from a friend like Annabeth must be important, right?

She doesn't strike Percy as the type to use voicemail, especially at three in the morning, but he holds his phone up to his ear anyway, just in case she needs something.

"Percy..." Her speech is slurred. Oh no, is she drunk? "I was just up... drinking... and I have this stupid dolphin in my bed, and I realized it doesn't really—what's the word... oh—smell... like you."

"Why so red, Percy?" Leo enters the room, a package of Gushers in one hand and a screwdriver in the other.

Percy holds up a finger, telling him to wait.

"So like, you know, if you wanna come over here or whatever, we could like-"

He stops the message before he hears something particularly profane.

"Well folks, the ball is in my court," Percy says.

"And why is that?" Jason asks.

"Annabeth called me last night."

"Oh, that's nice!" says Hazel.

Percy waves his phone in the air. "At three in the morning. To invite me over."

Hazel starts to fan herself. "Oh, that's... less nice..."

"You can't tell her about that," says Leo. "It'll completely throw off the group dynamics. You and Annabeth's relationship depends on you poking fun at each other."

Percy scoffs. "No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does," says Jason. "The scales have been completely tipped! What is Annabeth supposed to make fun of you for now? I don't suppose she's like, ever seen you naked or something?"

That's fake. There's no way. Everything is just fine. Annabeth and Percy are fine-

"Careful," says Piper. "Watch out for the-"

Annabeth trips over the table.

She's seen better days. Her hair is a mess, and she's wearing sunglasses. Wow, so she was drunk at three in the morning.

She takes her seat next to Percy.

"You good?" Percy asks.

"I will be if you stop shouting."

"Great." Percy hits play on the voicemail.

"Percy..." the voicemail starts.

"Oh my god." Annabeth buries her head in her arms.

Piper laughs. "Well, that sounds like a booty call if I ever did hear one!"

Frank chuckles until Hazel elbows him.

Annabeth stands up and darts out of the room.

"Well," says Leo. "What did I say? Am I allowed to say I told you so?"

"Yes, Leo," says Percy. He screwed up. He shouldn't have played that voicemail in front of everyone, even though it is pretty funny.

Now he has to do the right thing.

He grabs Ananbeth's forgotten backpack as well as his own. "Get started without us," he tells the rest of the group. He can review for the quiz with Annabeth later. Besides, he's getting the hang of the future tense pretty easily.

✎✎✎

Percy finds Annabeth sitting at a picnic table with a sub from the dining hall. "Hey, I brought you this." He speaks softly and places a coffee next to her.

She doesn't say anything. She's not asleep, is she?

"Hey, I mean, it happens to everyone," Percy says. "One time, I got so drunk that I... I called my mom, and told her that-"

"You said you don't drink, idiot," says Annabeth.

He was hoping she'd forgotten that detail.

Before he can come up with some sort of explanation, she speaks again. "You pity me."

"No! I mean-"

"Percy Jackson?"

Hovering above the cafeteria table is a boy dressed in mostly black, with the exception of a Burger King crown and a pair of angel wings.

"Um, yeah?" Percy responds. "I mean, that's me."

"Great," mumbles the boy. "Someone sent you a candy gram."

"Oh, uh, thanks." Percy takes the box of chocolates and reads the note. It's from Rachel! That's so sweet. She really is great.

Oh, Annabeth. Right.

Percy opens the box and holds it out to Annabeth. "Want some chocolate? I can't eat the whole thing by myself."

"Yes, you can." Shoot. She saw through that lie. "Who sent you chocolate?" Annabeth asks.

Well, this is awkward. "I've been talking to this girl, Rachel. She's going to the dance with me."

"Cool."

Percy tries a little harder to provoke the Annabeth he knows and... knows. "She's an art major. You know, the redhead that wears the paint-covered overalls?"

"Cool."

Cool? No sarcastic quips? Wow, Leo and Jason were right. Everything's messed up now.

Chocolates and coffee can't fix this. Percy has to level the playing field.

✎✎✎

"Leo! You have to help me!"

Leo opens his door. "Well, well, well. Who was right? Hot Stuff was right. Come on in, Percy."

Leo's dorm room is anything but modest. Posters from various movies decorate the walls. The bottom bunk bed is unmade, the fitted sheet slipped off the mattress. His top bunk bed is covered in laundry and tools. Why does Leo have a saw? What reasonable person brings a saw to community college?

The answer: Leo isn't a reasonable person.

"So," Leo starts. "You've come to the Super-Sized McShizzle for help."

Percy rolls his eyes. "Yes, now can you stop flaunting it and please help me fix things with Annabeth?"

"Have a seat."

Percy sits down on Leo's bottom bunk.

Leo zooms across from Percy in a wheely desk chair. "You have to give her some material."

"Yeah, but what?"

He strokes an invisible beard. "Well, if I were you, I would just go for the same kind of thing. Send her a drunk voicemail."

"I don't drink," Percy says.

"Just pretend."

"How's this?" Percy clears his throat. He slurs his speech. "Hey baby, I was drinking and thinking..."

"Stop. Stop that right now."

Percy does not stop. He's having too much fun. "I'm not even that drunk! I can drive... gimme mah keys!"

"No! Percy, nobody's going to believe that, especially not Annabeth!" Leo takes the lid off of an ottoman footstool and retrieves a bottle of rum.

"Leo, I don't drink."

"It's not for you." Leo screws the top open and takes a sip straight out of the bottle. "I need a little bit of magic juice. I have a feeling we're in for a long night. Now, have you ever been drunk?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Percy asks.

Leo sits back in the wheely chair. "I'm sorry. If you don't mind me asking, have you ever been drunk?"

Percy's never even tasted alcohol before. He doesn't like to get into it, but he's had some, er, family history with alcohol abuse. Not that he's related to his ex-stepfather. Smelly Gabe was a jerk.

He's in good company; Leo probably understands coping with humor more than anyone, so Percy cracks a joke: "Not unless you count the time I had too many Kool-Aid Jammers at my sixth birthday party."

"I've got just the thing." Leo puts the rum back and retrieves an unopened package of blue raspberry Kool-Aid Jammers.

"Blue. My favorite," says Percy.

"Not yet." Leo connects his computer to a printer and starts typing away. The printer turns on, and with a roar, it's producing a plethora of images from Annabeth's Instagram account. There's Annabeth's senior pictures, Annabeth at a school dance, Annabeth on the beach in a blue bikini, Annabeth on the... track team? There's more Annabeths than Percy knows what to do with. Soon, dozens of pairs of stormy grey eyes are staring him down with enough intensity to make any guy piss himself.

Percy cocks an eyebrow. "And we need those for...?"

"You won't send her a drunk voicemail if you aren't even thinking about her!"

That's actually a really good point. Has Leo been smart this entire time?

He pokes straws in two of the Kool-Aids and hands one to Percy. "Cheers!"

"Cheers."

✎✎✎

You know those montages you see in sitcoms or teen movies where the characters get drunk and do a bunch of weird crazy things?

That's kind of what happened to Percy and Leo last night.

Percy imagines that there's really loud rock music playing while a friendly game of cards over a couple of Kool-Aid Jammers turns into dancing on Leo's desk. Then, they make a drunken collage out of the pictures of Annabeth, then dance on Leo's desk again, then drink Kool-Aid out of a funnel, and then eventually pass out. He didn't pass out voluntarily last night. No, Percy smacked his head on Leo's bunk bed. He has no idea if he sent a voicemail to anybody until he checks his phone in the morning.

"Oh no," Percy groans.

Leo sticks his head off the side of the top bunk. "What is it?"

"I sent two voicemails last night: one to Annabeth, and another to Rachel."

"Oh, shoot." Leo tumbles out of bed and tugs a sweatshirt on, which he pairs with some neon green GEICO insurance sunglasses. "We slept through Latin, and we're late to study group!"

Without a word, Percy leaps out of bed, hitting his head and tying his shoes at the same time.

The headache doesn't settle until he and Leo arrive at the library.

And then Frank and Jason are the only ones sitting at the table.

"Where are the girls?" Percy asks.

Frank shrugs. "Hazel texted me and said they had something really important to get ready for. Probably the dance tonight."

Annabeth wouldn't be going to the Valentine's Day dance, would she? Before the drunk voicemail incident, Percy heard her talking about how love is just a sham set up by the government.

If this has anything to do with Percy's voicemail, he's screwed.

If it has nothing to do with Percy's voicemail, then he's happy for Annabeth. Maybe she got a date for the dance. She deserves it. She's smart, and pretty, and has great taste in pizza, and-

And Percy's going to the dance with Rachel, where he might ask her to be his girlfriend if the moment seems right. He needs to remember that.

So Percy sits down next to Jason and starts studying.

✎✎✎

The boys give each other the one over in the bathroom before making their grand entrance. The grilled cheese Percy ate for dinner is putting up quite a fuss in his stomach. If college turns him lactose intolerant, he swears-

"Straighten your tie, Frank," says Jason.

"Thanks."

Leo tightens his suspenders. "Jason, you look like a lawyer. Unbutton... something..."

Jason throws his pocket square at Leo. What kind of a dork wears a pocket square to a community college Valentine's Day dance? He and Piper aren't even official.

"Should I have brought a corsage?" Percy asks.

"Nah," says Jason. "That's kind of a high school thing, right?"

"Selfie!" shouts Leo.

The boys throw their arms around each other and smile in the bathroom mirror.

"Good luck, boys. Friends forever!" says Leo.

Frank crosses his arms. "It's a dance, not a war."

Percy holds the door open and watches as his friends each fall into place. Jason finds Piper pouring something out of a flask into the punch bowl, Frank offers Hazel a flower he took from one of the centerpieces, and Leo's doing the worm while a crowd chants, "Go, Leo! Go, Leo!"

Percy scans the crowd for his date. Rachel said she'd be wearing a blue dress, so he matched his tie accordingly. Hey, he's not a complete heathen!

Dean D steps up to the microphone and begins to address the students. "Welcome, brats, to our New Rome Community College Valentine's Day Dance!"

"How many dances are we going to have in a year?" shouts one of the guys Percy recognizes from the swimming and diving team.

Connor Stoll cups his hands around his mouth. "Yeah, I'm running out of ties!"

"Several!" says the dean. "If you come to at least five, you'll win a free t-shirt! Now, I just want to make everyone aware that the punch bowl is off-limits to those of you who are not able to drink."

Piper drops her flask. Percy would be surprised too if he had just found out he accidentally double-spiked the punch.

"And remember that carnations and candy grams are still for sale, and, oh is that Annabelle Pace in a dress?"

All eyes turn to the entrance, where Annabeth stands, clutching her cell phone in one hand and a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos in the other.

But the real Flaming Hot Cheeto is her. Her red dress hugs her curves perfectly, leaving just enough to the imagination.

And she looks at him. Like, she makes full-on intense eye contact.

"Hey," Percy says when she finally approaches. "You... you look great. Wow."

Annabeth punches his arm. "You clean up pretty nice too, idiot."

"I try."

She looks down at her feet shyly. "I got your voicemail last night. It was so sweet of you to invite me to go to the dance with you. I hope it's okay that I didn't tell you what color dress I got; I just wanted to surprise you."

Wow, that is so...

What?

Percy asked Rachel to the dance. Annabeth knows that, right? Oh no, what if he did ask Annabeth to go with him in his voicemail last night, and he canceled on Rachel in the other voicemail?

This is a nightmare! What's he supposed to do, just turn down the hottest girl in the room?

"I, uh..." Percy starts.

Annabeth giggles, like—you know—a girl.

Then she starts to laugh. Like, the kind of laughter you get when you watch John Mulaney talk about the Catholic Church for the first time.

"Oh my god," says Percy. "You're bullshitting me!"

"I'm sorry!" Annabeth snorts. "I just got that stupid voicemail and I had to take advantage of it. You didn't ask me to be your date, I just-"

"Percy Jackson! How could you!" Rachel Elizabeth Dare stomps up to Percy and Annabeth. She looks great too. Her sparkly blue dress is paired with paint-covered combat boots.

"Oh, well, I hope you're happy, Annabeth," says Rachel.

"I mean, I am, but in what context are you referring?" Annabeth asks.

Percy addresses Rachel before the situation can get worse. "I'm sorry, I got drunk on Kool-Aid Jammers last night and sent a voicemail, and I don't remember anything. Blame Leo! I'm sorry."

Rachel crosses her arms and furrows her eyebrows. "Yeah, well I'm sorry you were so disappointed to call me last night. You realized that you didn't call Annabeth and then hung up!"

Oh. That's way worse than what Percy could have possibly anticipated. Now Rachel thinks that Percy's still interested in Annabeth, and-

"Annabeth..." Annabeth turns the volume on her phone up so Percy and Rachel can hear the voicemail. "I don't even remember why I called you... I just... had a lot of Kool-Aid tonight and I just wanted to thank you for being there for me. You're a great friend, and you've helped me get soooo much better at talking to girls. I mean, Rachel is awesome. She's perfect. I could have never gotten with someone like her a couple of months ago..."

The voicemail ends. "You're really lucky, Rachel," Annabeth says.

Rachel wraps Percy in a hug. "Aw, you care! Percy, you're the sweetest friend ever!"

Percy gives Annabeth a thumbs up over Rachel's shoulder before leading his date to the dance floor. He's a little thrown from watching his budding relationship almost go up in flames, but he's thankful to have a friend like Annabeth.

He watches as Piper throws an arm around Annabeth and leads her away from the punch bowl.

She glances over her shoulder, and Percy catches sight of her crazy grey eyes that kind of makes him feel like he's about to melt. She's not... sad, is she?

No, there's no way. Annabeth's just a really great friend. Percy needs to stop dwelling over her and focus on the woman in front of him now.

"Do you want some punch?" Rachel asks.

Percy winces. "I don't think that's such a great idea." He pulls her head against his chest and bobs back and forth to a slow song that he doesn't know.