When Batman had asked me what I would do if one of my teammates were ever injured or about to die, what I would do in that situation, I hadn't answered. He'd asked if I'd save their lives. I hadn't answered that either. The question had deeply troubled me. Not because of the answer, not even because of the question. I was bothered simply by the fact that he asked. Not that he doubted me. But that he'd asked. I thought I knew for certainty what would be said, until I didn't.

    After some deliberation, I thought I had found an answer to that question. But as it turned out, my answer had been incorrect.

    I have been incorrect about a lot of things lately. Maybe even my whole life cycle. I started to question things, I wanted to know– I had always known before. It was easy. My whole life cycle was planned, mapped out for me with a destination in mind. Everything was simple. And I accepted that. Everything was for a greater purpose than myself. I was a droplet in the water. Then a rock blocked the path of my stream.

    But being human has opened up things that were never supposed to be. It wasn't that these creatures had the ability to change fate, no one did. fate yielded to no one. Not even me, or my species. No. It was so much simpler than that.

    Life wasn't simple. Life was complicated. And it was fate that obliged.

    Being human made it worse. So much worse. Something I was never supposed to be. It ripped open things that were buried deep inside, things that would have never seen the light. I had made that mistake. Fate had not changed. But I did. And that changed things around me.

    And maybe that wouldn't be so bad, just like (Y/n) had said, it could help things. There's a difference between can't and won't. I wouldn't help because I thought it would jeopardize all that I had worked for my entire life cycle. But maybe the answer was to do so.

    Maybe the answer shouldn't have been left to fate alone. My species and I were supposed to help fate. Guide it towards its correct path. Maybe instead of standing around, I should have been acting. Maybe I couldn't wait around for my intended future to play out, maybe I needed to bring it here myself.

    I'd realized I'd fallen into the same hole my species had. I was not the exception. Even as I tried to crawl out, and save us all with a solution, I had fallen further in trying to push that solution out. I'd tried to grab its hand and fumbled my grip.

    But none of that meant anything without (Y/n). (Y/n), my heart croaked, where are you?

    Gone. And she hadn't returned, even after we were all free of M'gann's mind.

    Tears streamed down my face, my gaze stuck on my hands lying in my lap. It was twice as hard to even move a finger, even now as my index finger twitched it knocked the wind out of me. My tears hit my lap. I couldn't dare look up at Black Canary who sat across from me.

    Three days. It had been three days. No (Y/n).

    In the background, a serene waterfall pooled, the cycle continuing as the water was sucked up by a drain at the bottom. The plants in the room shifted with the direction of the air conditioning. The adult stayed calm and silent, letting me have this moment.

    I kept my gaze on my hands. Human hands were meant to create. And they took immense delight in destruction, but that was only so they could rebuild again. They were designed for progress. So I gazed at them, wishing for the power of these hands to manifest in my own and bring some miracle to me. A miracle that would bring (Y/n) back.

    I messed up. I know that. But please, please don't make this the price for such an offense. I was the only one who was supposed to pay. (Y/n) was supposed to be left untouched.

    Everything I'd ever worked for was crumbling before my very eyes. But what's worse than that, is that my best friend is gone. Nowhere to be found. And I had the slightest idea of where to look.

    "I know it must be hard for you, Failsafe," Black Canary said, shifting forward in her chair. I could barely bring my eyes up to look at her, finding that no matter how hard I tried, no magic would appear for me.

"I know you don't see it the way others do, but opening up might be a good idea." She suggested. I thought about it a moment, a fresh wave of bubbly tears flooded my eyes and I brushed them away before they could fall.

"Uhuh," I mumbled, not quite sure what to say. I wanted to talk. I did. But what do I say? How? I miss (Y/n). (Y/n) would tell me to talk, if she were here. (Y/n) would talk. She'd tell Canary what she was feeling. Like how she told me the night after the androids invaded the cave, in the woods where it was only us. Only me to listen. And that's how it had been, for the last two years.

Except, I never did truly listen. Did I? (Y/n) always listened to me. About every little thing. And she never stopped believing in me. In the fact that I could grow and change. She didn't believe the stagnation that had been my existence for so long could stop me from that. That's why it had to be her. Why I care for her. Why I need my best friend back.

"It's not that it's hard..." I started, fumbling over myself to explain. "It's something that I've never done before, is all."

She nodded but didn't say anything more, urging me to continue. I struggled to find the words I was searching for even though they were right there on the tip of my tongue. Not my tongue. (Y/n)'s tongue. But (Y/n) wasn't here.

"I'm not supposed to have feelings. I'm supposed to be impartial and judge based on what will bring the most to a given situation. But– but this is... more than I can bear." I slumped again, head falling in between my knees as I brought up my legs. Every action felt like I was tugging along a bag of rocks.

"It's okay to have feelings. What's important is to express them in a healthy manner." Black Canary tried to comfort me, but I don't think she quite understood what I meant. Still curled up, I attempted to correct her.

"No. You misunderstand. I'm not supposed to have them." I could barely find it in me to lift my head enough for us to meet eyes. There was confusion swirling around in her bright blue irises.

"It's only been had by one other of my species before. It– It's unheard of." It's more accurate to say that it's taken as a sign something is wrong. A mark from fate of an error.

"And what happened to them...?" Maybe Black Canary wanted me to talk more, or maybe it was human curiosity that made her ask such a question. I don't know. And I don't know why I answered either.

"She's gone now." The only one of my species to ever have died. She was the lesson we all learned from. That our life cycles would end as well. "That's why I'm here now."

"Ah, I see." Black Canary responded. I don't think she did. But I don't have the energy to correct her anymore. I felt like death. This body was fine. Perfectly healthy. But here inside of it? It was painful to think of the life that it usually possessed. Everything felt dead and numbed.

"Human feelings are too strong." I moaned out, pressing my face into my knees. "They're awful, horrible feelings. Things that can't be weighed."

She stayed silent as I groaned, continuing without provocation. "I suppose that's why I'm afraid of them. I hate them. You feel the best after such difficulty and then are given pain by the simplest things. It was so hard to reel them all in, let nothing escape. Grief, sadness... Loneliness."

I hurled my head up and over, looking out the glass windows and doors at the end of the hall. Just something different. Anything but my own humiliation. I deserve this. I deserve to suffer for losing (Y/n). But at the very least, did I have to look at my own failures?

She didn't have to. She was gone before She ever saw the fruits of what She achieved, what She sought.

If all goes well, neither will I. But to feel this in exchange... It's a small price, but one I hate to pay.

"When– when Kent passed, I told myself that this is how it goes. How it's supposed to be. His life cycle would have been over soon, the fact that it ended so harshly when I'd remembered a quiet passing... I told myself I was crying because of (Y/n). Human empathy is strong and she's so in tune with her feelings. But it wasn't her crying. It was me." I ranted, the tears becoming too much as I choked on them. My throat clogged with the flem and I felt like any second now I would choke on them permanently.

"It was me," I repeated in a whisper, sucking in a deep breath. I was too afraid to accept that while things were changing around me, they had also begun to change me too.

A heavy silence permeated the room. Only the sounds of my sniffles and hiccups cut through the thickness.

"Any luck in finding her?" It was a question marked with fear. I jerked forward almost as if I'd been punched in the gut. I lost my voice. All I could do was shake my head.

"I don't know where she is," I croaked out. "She's just, gone."

"We could ask J'honn to have a look in your mind. It may not bring her back, but it could help." The heroine offered and I recoiled.

"No!" I exclaimed too fast and too guttural for it to be anything reasonable. But I couldn't help myself. My response came out in a growl. "No one else is going in my head other than (Y/n) until I have her back."

She was silent, thinking, in an effort to appease me, she acquiesced. "Keep searching then..."

A weak "yeah" escaped my lips, but it didn't feel like I had said it. It felt like someone else had taken over my spirit and uttered a response in my place. Ironic. I wonder if this is how (Y/n) feels. Felt? Feels.

"She was just... gone." My throat was dry, raspy from the excessive tears that won't quit. It's not like I'd done anything in protest to them, though. "Disappeared just like that. Somewhere else before even a heartbeat had passed..."

Black Canary deeply exhaled, standing up and coming over to crouch beside my sitting chair. She put a hand on my knee but didn't try to force me to move. She was trying to give me a connection. I relished in the contact but was more anguished that it wasn't from the one I hoped.

"Disconnected. She was using my powers and I had no control over it. It's, it's what I do to her. Everyday. Or, at least, something like that. I thought I had total control, but I never realized... How much, how much (Y/n) was helping me this whole time."

Black Canary stayed silent. I couldn't help the flood of words as they continued without end.

"One second we were on the ship, the next, disappeared, reformed somewhere else," I told her. "I was so confused, it was like I was spectating my own body–"

Spectating my own body. Disappearance. Disappearance and control of a body.

The realization smacked me across the face. The answer was right in front of me for the past three days and I had been too oblivious to see it.

A sharp gasp left my lips and I shot up from the therapy chair. It happened so fast that Black Canary had to restabilize her stance on the floor.

"Failsafe?"

I couldn't form the words, too focused on pushing myself forward, moving toward a portal of my own creation. I almost fell, stumbling through in a daze, ignoring Black Canary's exclamation to stop. Worry oozed from her voice.

I didn't care. The answer to where (Y/n) was right in front of me. Staring me in the face, or more accurately, gushing through my veins. I had been so stupid.

It activated under stress, coming to the surface in a moment she needed it. In a moment that her body and her brain wholeheartedly believed was needed to save her life. M'gann's mind had linked them at the moment of Artemis' death, that's more than enough time. A split second is all it takes.

Disappearance followed by reformation and control of her body. (Y/n)'s power awakened.

____________________________

    Confusion. That was the word that most accurately conveyed what was swinging through my pounding mind most accurately. What in the world happened?

    I tried to bring a hand to my head to clear the burning headache. It didn't help much. I felt like throwing up. It felt like every atom of my body was against me. I opened my eyes, but there must've been something off with them because everything was just fuzzy, blurry. I could only really make out the shapes of the black blobs.

    "Are you alright, (Y/n)?" Kaldur asked, I could see his tall blob behind the blob I was sitting at. The kitchen island, maybe? I ran my hand across it. Felt like marble. Had to be the kitchen island, I could feel the dent Wally made in it after getting too rough with Megan's cookie tray.

    I groaned, "Uh, I'll get back to you on that."

    He was silent for a moment before he asked, "Is it a worse day?"

    "I think so?" My hand was shaking from simply keeping my head up, so I placed it on the island next to my other hand. Somehow, I was colder than the marble. "Hey, Kal, what happened?"

    Again, he was silent. "You must not be. I think it's time to get your medication."

    "My head is killing me." I agreed. But somehow that seemed like the wrong answer. Something felt wrong. Very wrong. And familiar.

    The distinct sound of Aqualad's water bearer being drawn caught my attention and concern. What was it? Why was he using those? In the house? Did someone break in?

    "Who are you?" He asked, stern and skeptical. I was dumbfounded.

    "(Y/n)! Who else do you think?" There was a fluttery feeling in my hand before I heard the distinct sound of something clattering to the ground a few feet away.

    This sorta reminded me of something, actually. I had a hard time placing what with how foggy my head was.

    I might've been able to place it too, if not for the chilling bite of Aqualad's magic-enhanced weapon placed at my neck.

•|•

    When I opened my eyes again, I was falling to my death. Air rushed past me and time felt like it suddenly entered into slow motion.

    Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. I'm falling off a skyscraper and am going to die. I tried to call out Failsafe's name but was going too fast and was up so high that the air couldn't escape my lungs in anything but a scream.

    This was cool, don't get me wrong, falling felt fantastic. The air rushed past me at high speeds and the cool night air bit back against my covered body refreshingly. But at the moment I was more worried about the impact and impending death.

    I screamed at the top of my lungs, flailed my arms out, and tried everything I could think of to stop my fall. I was but a human, so the most I could do without superpowers was to starfish myself and hope someone else saved me.

    No one came. And by the time I could see the street in detail, I was accepting that this was it. I closed my eyes one final time, as my body continued to fall.

•|•

    I wasn't quite sure how to feel about this. In a garden full of beautiful specimens of nature and every conceivable plant. It was truly serene. I wasn't much for the outdoors, but being around them felt right.

    Even if that rose at the end of the pathway was fifty sizes too big to be anything natural.

    I found myself crouching down, poking at one of the pretty plants. Then I found a Venus flytrap and tried to test my luck, chuckling as I put my finger near the mouth of the plant.

    "(Y/N)?" A boy's voice, which I'd never heard before, called out to me. I snapped my head over and a reactionary squeak exited my lungs before I could even think to stop myself.

•|•

    I stood in front of a mirror. My hair was put up high and a mask was on my face. It was an unfamiliar room. An unfamiliar costume graced my body. The symbol of a bird flying free was on the suit. I felt a sense of pride and freedom from looking at it. Like I was breaking free from unseen captivity. Invisibility.

    This wasn't me. But it looked like it.

•|•

    My hand brushed over my stomach, round and taunt. Pregnant. I couldn't say how many months, but the feeling of elation brushed over my heart. Filled my veins with pride. Longing.

    This wasn't me either.

•|•

    My eyes widened and I recoiled, letting out a silent choke as I released my grip off the trigger of a gun. It was aimed right at a male's face with a red bucket over his head. A red bat symbol on his bulletproof vest protected chest. He had his hands up, even as my heel pressed down onto his chest.

    My surprise seemed to surprise him, because when he asked if I was okay, using the name 'sweet cheeks' no less, the sarcastic glee dropped from his voice and was replaced with genuine worry.

    I didn't reply. Couldn't.

•|•

"You seem happier today, (Y/n)." This voice was unfamiliar but reminded me of someone older. My suspicions were confirmed when I looked over, the kid was wearing Superman's suit but looked to be seventeen, maybe eighteen. I couldn't imagine him being any older than that.

"Do I?" I asked, deflecting but also a little curious. Everything inside of me was a wreck and he thought I was happy...?

"Yeah, I'm glad. You're always so tense." He gave me a closed-eyed smile and it reminded me of Connor. I missed Connor. I missed Robin. I missed Failsafe. I missed everyone else I left behind back at the cave.

Where were they? Where was I? Was this hell or something? A purgatory where I'd be trapped forever living snippets of someone else's lives? Almost like me but not quite.

I couldn't think of a way to respond to him, and I didn't have to. I was gone the next moment.

_______________________

    I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go home. I want to see myself. Just me. I want to see the people I know. My family. Not all these versions of them. Just right, but not quite exact. It was driving me mad.

    I looked down, noting that my hands were smaller, familiar. Still me, but not me.

    "Great, not again." I moaned. I just want to be done with this.

    "Uh, hello...?" My own voice asked back, younger and with more humor in her voice than actual concern. I jolted, and my body followed.

    I couldn't talk, frozen still. It had been a long while since I'd had a conversation with myself. Well, someone who was like myself.

    "You good? Am I hallucinating or is there something going on here?" She asked again, soft as a whisper out of her mouth. I took a look at the room we found ourselves in. The good news is, we were alone.

    Bad news for my homesickness, this looked exactly like my room, just the way I left it.

    Compared to my room back in the cave, it was around the same size. Still, this one felt more spacious than the other one, despite it being the smaller room in an apartment. Maybe that's because there wasn't a queen-sized bed taking up most of the space instead of the little bay window I insisted was going to be my bed.

    The walls were painted my favorite color instead of the standard beige of the cave's walls too. Posters of things I thought the world of two years ago messily lined the walls. My dresser drawers won't stay shut because of the clothes leaking out of them, stuffed back in without refolding them. My closet was just as messy too. My school desk was covered in drawing utensils, school books, and personal research, as well as assignments presumably due soon.

    I chuckled at the trashy romance novels I liked to make fun of and simultaneously enjoyed the premise of piling my bookshelf along with manga I had to wait a long time at the bookstore for. It looked like a cluttered mess.

    Just as I left it.

    I'd forgotten to respond to the other me, and it wasn't until tears welled up in my eyes and I dropped her backpack did I realize that.

    I wiped the tears away and kicked the backpack into the nearest corner. "Oh, sorry." I chuckled again, it was filled with sadness I'd long been containing. When I'd told Failsafe about how I missed my family and my life, it had only been a crack in the dam. I'm just now realizing that this dam is holding back more water than I think I can handle.

    "Take your time... uh..."

    "No, it's cool." I hummed, wiping the last of my tiny outburst. "Uhm, my name's (Y/n) and... it's just– no one's talked back yet, so you kinda spooked me. It's been a while since I've had someone in my head." I walked over to my window bed and sat down on the squishy cushions.

    "Oh. But the voices in your head are a normal occurrence?" She teased, but I could hear the subtle hint of interest in her voice. I nodded, recognizing my specific inflections.

    "Yeah, more than you would think, honestly." I laughed. Am I slaphappy or something? Maybe just relieved, finally someone I could be honest with after so long of cycling through false realities.

    "Awesome. You seem lucid, so I can't imagine it's due to mental illness," she muttered under her breath, but since we were in the same body, I heard. I noted that maybe that was a little offensive, but maybe she hadn't learned that yet. For all I know she was the same age as me, or twelve, or a five-thousand-year-old space ghost. I have no idea. It seemed likely she was either twelve or thirteen though.

    "No. Just a really stubborn alien and teammates that don't know the meaning of the phrase, personal space." It occurred to me for a second that maybe I shouldn't tell her this stuff, that I should keep it secret cause it could negatively affect her. But I was so exhausted. I was willing to take a dice roll. Plus I'm pretty sure this wasn't some type of time travel, too many different scenarios, different situations.

    My companion was silent for a moment before saying, "Tell me more."

    I hummed, needing the information. "First, how old are you?"

    "How old are you?"

    "I asked first."

    "I asked second."

    "Touche. I'm fourteen."

    "Twelve." Huh. it's what I was expecting, but I don't remember being as small as I am. Turns out I did grow up a little after all. "This isn't some sort of time travel thing, is it? Because I have questions and if I don't get answers then we're going to have one hell of a bad time."

    Yeah. I know. We'll be up all night thinking, get no sleep, and stress about what the answers could be, what's the most interesting, and what could actually be plausible. That's not the sort of thing I need right now.

    "I don't think so. What's the date?"

    "You're asking me to remember the date? Who are you? Batman? Fuck, somewhere in May. Or is it still April?"

    "Yeah, this isn't time travel."

    "How do you know?"

    "Dates don't line up."

    "Great. So, about that alien, you were talking about..." She brushed me off, getting that trademark excited (Y/n) glow.

_____________________________
𝙳𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚁𝙽𝚆-𝚅𝚂-𝙼𝚎𝚝𝚊-𝚈𝙹-𝙱𝙳𝚂

    Many dimensions flowed throughout different times and locations, still, the tracks left behind were so painfully easy to follow I don't understand how I wasn't aware of them before.

    I found her, though. In a dimension very similar to her own. In fact, it was so close, they were right next to each other. Almost as if they were broken off the same branch of a tree. Maybe they were.

    I broke through the dimension, pushing through a portal. My foot hit the floor and I pushed through. She was right there, putting her backpack down as she came through her bedroom door. She looked younger, as young as she did when I first met her.

    "Oh," She said. The twelve-year-old looked interested but also a tiny bit alarmed, trying to hide it. She shut the door. "So, your friends here."

    "(Y/n)..." I croaked out, a smile breaking across my face. Impatience found me and I found myself racing forward. "I found you."

    I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could and enveloped her in a hug. "You're safe, you're okay."

    "Uh, yeah, buddy." Awkwardly, she patted my back and kept her other hand away from me. Still, I pulled her closer.

    "Look, she's inside my head and we really don't know how to get her out, so if you could be so kind as to do that for me, that'd be great because I've got a stack of homework to get to..."

    She broke apart from me and held me at a distance, averting her eyes anywhere she couldn't see me. I tilted my head, blinking as I slowly processed what was going on. Was (Y/n) not excited to see me too? Was she mad? I hope she wasn't mad. Was she upset? I could fix it! Just as long as she—

    "Oh, you're not– You're you." I put it together haphazardly. (Y/n) wasn't this (Y/n), this (Y/n) was controlling this (Y/n) which makes it this (Y/n), so that meant (Y/n) wasn't controlling this (Y/n). But she was still there. Like with me and her. It was the opposite of how it was supposed to be.

    "Yeah..." She breathed out. I could feel her hands tense on my shoulders and it seemed like her whole body tightened where she stood before she let her hands drop and took a step back.

    "That's not how that's supposed to work..." I was at a loss for words. The ways for her to have retained control would be if (Y/n) let her, or if she was somehow prepared and stronger than (Y/N). This (Y/n) was twelve right now, while (Y/n) was fourteen. It must be the first one, otherwise, that would be a big issue.

    "Wow, you were right. That's fucked up." the (Y/n) from this dimension declared, her eyes moving to suggest she wasn't talking to me but to the voice in her head. Animating her thoughts through her eyes.

    "I– I'm sorry. I didn't listen to you and now we're both in an awkward position," I averted my eyes as she looked at me. "May I please retrieve the soul I've come for?"

    She didn't even bat an eye as she giddy shrugged her shoulder and held out her arm as if I was about to give her a shot. "Sure, Ms. Shinigami woman."

    "I– wait, that's not," my lips twitched up and my hand jolted to lower hers, but I found myself just taking it. It's better to just go along with it than play it. I learned that a long time ago. "Alright."

    I took her hand in mine, closing my eyes to focus even as I felt the curious gaze of the pubescent staring at me. Her breath seemed to slow as her focus was entirely on me. Good, it'll make this easier.

    '(Y/n)?' I called out, trying to connect to her. '(Y/n)?'

    I found her presence close to me, reaching out while I did the same.

    'Failsafe!' Happily, I tried to grab the outstretched invitation to harbor her consciousness once more. But before I could grab her, she cruelly jerked away from me.

    '(Y/n)! (Y/n)?' I questioned her, confused. Why wasn't she leaving? Didn't she want to return home? Go back to her own body? Didn't she want to come back to me...?

    My response came in the form of a question.

'Why didn't you save Artemis?' Her accusatory question was as sharp as a dagger. It was a delicate thorn to pull out of a calloused palm. I needed to give her an answer, not one that would satiate her, one she would understand and be satisfied with to make it go away– no, what I needed to give her was the truth.

We both had the memory. I'm sure we were both thinking the same thing. When Batman had asked me what I would do if one of my teammates were hurt, if they were going to die, I didn't respond. This was the same question. And the answer this time held far more weight than before. I couldn't simply answer, 'It was fake.'

"Uh, you two, yoohoo? How long is this gonna take? Bleach is airing soon." (Y/n) asked, shifting her body around but not removing her hand. There wasn't much to look at, even less for her to do. She was getting antsy.

Immediately, we both shushed her, and she huffed, quieting down. I focused on my answer to (Y/n), the one I've shared this journey, my life cycle with. Who's allowed me to share hers as well.

'Because we are not the same, (Y/n).' My declaration left her silent as she waited for me to speak. I got the impression that she'd have said, 'Yeah, and? We already knew that.' But she didn't. She let me speak.

'You're courageous and kind. You see problems before they appear, then you try your best with what you have to change it. You... heal the wound before it becomes a problem. I, for all my life cycle, have only dealt with an issue when it's become a problem, no earlier. I deal with the wound once it's become too much of an issue to ignore.' I thought of what this was all for. What I'm putting my life cycle on the line for. And I smiled. I wouldn't leave it in anyone's hands but hers.

'You helped Artemis because you saw someone in need right in front of you. Someone you could save.'

'I asked about you, Failsafe.'

'I know.' I turned my head, looking out the bay window. It was sunny in the sky, the clouds were bright white and birds flocked the air. 'I don't really have an answer for you. I wasn't looking at the bigger picture, of my worth against hers or weighing lives. It being fake had nothing to do with it. And I don't believe it was pride, either. It was simply... my own rationalizations.'

'If that's your answer, I guess what I'm really trying to ask is, if it happened again, but for real this time, would you have saved her?'

I thought about it, for a moment of silence that seemed to stretch infinitely. I thought back to Batman's words again. And to (Y/n). And to the teammates I'd waited to meet for lifetimes over, and whom I got to share mine with. And I had my answer.

'I would. But those are just words... So will you allow me to prove it, this time?' I needed to fix my mistakes. Starting with the way I've been treating (Y/n), my partner. She's been trying to help me all this time and I'd ignored her. Not this time. Not anymore.

'What'da mean?' (Y/n) asked.

'Will you allow me to take you home?'

'Ohhhh, yeah. Please! Forgot about that...' I felt her consciousness reach out to mine, and my being swell as she returned, breathing a sigh of relief.

"It's good to have you back," I said aloud. It came out in a soft whisper. A saying of comfort to just her and me.

'Good to be back.' Somehow, even in my head, it felt like she was reciprocating that feeling. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, nodding to myself as my hand came to rest over my heart. When I opened my eyes once more, (Y/n) was there looking at me. Looking almost exactly the same as she did the day we first met.

"I'm happy for you two," the twelve-year-old (Y/n) beamed. "So, I guess this is goodbye for now?"

"Yes, we're returning home now."

She nodded and took a step closer, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pulling me into a hug. "Thanks."

When she let go, she waved at me. I blinked, stunned at the reciprocation of the hug so late after I'd given it originally, but still waved back and turned on my heel, exiting into what must've looked like thin air to her. The portal I created was transparent and faded into the background of her room.

'What was that about?' I asked as we traversed the realms between. There were multiple versions of (Y/n) popping up like bubbles as we passed. Each had the information I needed and the dimensional tag.

'Told her 'bout the future.' (Y/n) replied, it wasn't instantaneous, but it wasn't so fast I thought it was the truth. I shrugged. It wasn't too important if she didn't want to tell me. And really, what right did I have asking her to reveal her secrets when I won't do so either?

'I see. I hope she has a nice time with that information, then.'

'Oh, she will.' A chuckle came from inside my throat, releasing out into the open air. It was distinctly filled with mischievous intent. 'She will.'

The chuckle quickly turned into a humor-filled laugh as it became my own. It was good to have my best friend back. I missed her, so much.

'I missed you.'

'Course you did, I'm great.' Came her haughty reply as quick as the next breath. It was a few silent moments later as we made it to the end of the tunnel and saw the light of home that she added, 'I missed you too, Failsafe.'

________________
𝙳𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎-𝙷𝚘𝚖𝚎-𝚁𝙽𝚆-𝙵𝚂𝚈𝙽-𝙼𝚎𝚝𝚊-𝚈𝙹-𝙲𝙱

    "(Y/n)," Black Canary's voice cut through the thin silence of the therapy room. Sunlight shone in from overhead and the waterfall in the back of the room provided a nice, consistent noise. I took a deep breath, nodding.

    "It must've been scary, what happened to you." She followed up and I nodded again.

    "Yeah, it was. That's why I came to you, wanted to talk about it." I'd found some gum in the kitchen and popped it into my mouth earlier, the flavor had completely left it, but I continued to chew it as I played with my fingers.

    "I'm always here." She relaxed in her seat and I got the impression she was gearing up for a hard talk. It probably would be. I had a lot to shit to unload and unpack. Plus, while I probably wasn't the only one to open up, I was definitely the only one who came to her first, without being called in like a bullied kid and the school guidance counselor.

With something like that, it's natural to assume it's something someone can't hold in on their own. And I don't think I could, even if I wanted to.

    I took in a deep breath and let it all out. "When you said it was scary, damn, that doesn't even begin to describe it..." Terrified felt like the better word to use. Scared out of my damn mind. Petrified. Every word to describe fear, helplessness, hopelessness...

"I thought I was going to die." I choked back the overwhelming emotion building up in my throat from reliving it through my memories and talking about it, but made no move to stop the tears from falling. Even as I greedily sucked in an ugly breath and felt my nose start to run.

"I thought I was being punished for something I did, forced to be me," I placed a hand on my chest and tried to articulate this to Black Canary the best I could. "but not me, for the rest of my life."

It felt like my running away was catching up to me. Like the universe was angry that I had abandoned my regular life to go escape and play the hero. I didn't think it was a game anymore, but that doesn't excuse the fact I once saw it as nothing but fun, couldn't comprehend what it really meant to don the suit. It felt like I was finally being forced to play the part I'd run from.

"...Constantly playing the game of catch-up and acting, just to be yelled at and held responsible for something I knew nothing about," I told her, fessing up to all the awful thoughts swirling around in my head. It felt like I was playing adult. The responsibility of others' lives, the uncertainty of my own...

It sucked.

"One moment I was someone, the next I was someone else. Different ages, different lives. Same person. I was always me, just never quite the right me." Humorlessly, I let out something between a breathy laugh and a chuckle.

"Hell, one time I opened my eyes and the bitch was right in the middle of skydiving. When I got a hold of myself and opened them again, I was a toddler in her father's arms." It hadn't been my father, oddly enough, but the warmth reminded me of him nice enough, and I reveled in the reprieve when I got it. The question of moments like that being my only nice ones left had phased my mind then. I'd pushed it off, too scared of the answer.

"...How long were you gone for, (Y/n)?" Black Canary hesitantly asked, leaning closer with her elbows propped up on her thighs.

I thought about it for a moment. "I dunno. In the beginning, I wasn't with them very long, but the time between switches kept getting longer the more I did them, so... About a week, maybe?"

She took in the information slowly before deciding whether or not to share hers. She did, and I was surprised by the news. "You were gone three days."

"Huh," I said stunned, "interesting."

I wiped away the tears that had streaked down my face and reached for the tissue box set on the table next to the armchair. I blew my nose and stood up, plopping the used thing into the garbage.

"Interesting?" Black Canary inquired quietly to herself but didn't pry anymore. Instead, she asked something else. "Do you have any more feelings you feel comfortable sharing?"

A heavy silence fell over us as I thought about it, walking back to rest on the armchair again. There was an overwhelming heaviness in my chest, but I didn't know how to express it. It didn't feel like all my own anyway.

Failsafe had been listening in the edges of our shared consciousness this entire time. And when I opened my mouth to answer, I felt like the answer that came from my mouth didn't just come from me.

"It was lonely."