|| Now ||

"Supergirl! On your six!" Winn's voice came through Kara's comms, and he sounded worried. Kara turned off her comms after hearing it, knowing he'd only try to keep her from engaging further so she didn't get hurt.

Kara turned and had to do a summersault to avoid being hit in the head with a huge fist from the alien she was fighting. She stood back up and when the alien charged at her, she used her heat vision to hit his leg and he cried out in pain.

Kara walked around him and grabbed his wrists, putting them in power-dampening cuffs on him.

"Well, that was fun. Now you are going to be going somewhere special." Kara drawled and she picked him up by the back of his jacket and flew off to the D.E.O.

"Alex, I have a gift for you!" Kara called out and dropped the alien onto the balcony as Alex came rushing over to her.

Kara caught a glimpse of the picture of Mon-El that J'onn had put up near the doors of the balcony as a memorial to him. It was put up after he was sent off and felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Thank you, Kara." Alex looked up to talk to her sister, but Kara was already gone.

Kara flew over National City slowly, taking in the silence as tears fell from her eyes. It'd been 5 months since the Daxamites invaded and Mon-El, the man Kara loved, had to be sent away from Earth because of the lead in the atmosphere.

When Queen Rhea, Mon-El's mother, and the Daxamites had invaded and destroyed National City, Kara had posed a battle. If Kara won, Rhea would call off her Daxamite soldiers and leave Earth. If Rhea won, Kara would surrender the Earth to Rhea. Kara had won, but barely.

Rhea had gone back on her word to stop the invasion, and Kara had to use a device that Lillian Luthor had originally made to release trace amounts of Kryptonite into the air to kill Kara and her cousin. Lena Luthor, her best friend, had reworked it so that instead of Kryptonite, it was lead being released into the air. The Daxamites were deathly allergic to it, and that included Mon-El.

After a tearful goodbye, he was sent off in Kara's old pod.

She had no idea if he was alive or not, but every night she dreamed of his death. That is when she gets sleep. Usually, she stays up, not wanting to sleep alone after sleeping with another body in bed.

Kara flew back to her apartment and changed out of her suit. Throwing one of Mon-El's old shirts over her head, she put on her shorts and then went to the kitchen to pour herself a drink. She usually didn't drink because it didn't work for her, but she asked M'gann for a bottle of Aldebaran Rum, a type of alcohol that could get her drunk if she drank enough of it. She bought the bottle so she could take it home with her and drink it when she wanted to without going out.

She poured herself a glass and took a sip of it. The burn she felt going down her throat felt good, and she sighed. She walked over to the couch, and sat down, curling her legs up under her.

She grabbed her tv remote, and turned the tv on, putting on Wizard Of Oz, her favorite musical ever.

About an hour into the movie and 2 glasses of Aldebaran rum later, she heard a knock on her door. She heard Alex's heartbeat and groaned. "Come in, Alex!"

The said woman walked in, placed the bag of potstickers on the counter, and held up a box of pizza. "Hungry?"

Kara frowned at her sister and shook her head. "No Alex, I'm not hungry." She told her with a completely straight face and got up and walked into her bedroom.

"Kara, come on," Alex sighed, following her sister into her room after putting the food away so it didn't go bad. "Kara, you can't keep bottling things up like this, especially about this." She told the now sniffling Kryptonian and walked over to Kara, who was standing in front of the mirror.

Kara turned to her, tears falling from her eyes. "I'm not talking about this." She told Alex, who sighed at her and shook her head. "I'm here for you," Alex mumbled, knowing Kara could hear her and walked out, grabbing her jacket and her keys, and walked out of the apartment.

Kara quickly changed into her Supergirl suit and took off to go flying to clear her head some. For the past 5 months, she's been avoiding everyone and avoided going out. When she goes to work, she writes her articles with her superspeed so she could go back to being Supergirl. She didn't want to be Kara Danvers.

Kara Danvers was broken, fragile. She couldn't be that and be Supergirl at the same time. So Kara chose supergirl over her human side. She chose to be alien over being human. Kara was numb, and everyone she knew could see that.

It made Kara mad that everyone she knew was moving on with their lives and she was stuck in the past. It made her so upset she couldn't move on, start moving on with her life. Why couldn't she find her happiness?

Oh, that's right, Kara thought bitterly. Mon-El took it with him when he left.

Kara shook her head and flew to the training arena that J'onn and made specifically for her to use her heat vision to release her anger.

She shot her heat vision at a dummy, setting it on fire, and then she screamed out her frustrations as she used her heat vision. The dummy she'd set on fire at first exploded, and Kara fell to her knees panting.

She let out another scream, this time accidentally screaming so loudly it caused some of the birds resting near the trees to screech and fly off.

Kara got up. She repeated the process of making dummies explode for the next two hours, and when she eventually felt tired enough, she went home.

***

As she laid in bed, Kara couldn't sleep. But that wasn't new to her. It'd been like that for the last 5 months.

Either she went to sleep and dreamed about Mon-El dying and she couldn't save him, or she couldn't sleep at all.

Eventually, Kara fell asleep, but it was only a mere few hours until she woke back up, tears streaming down her face. She groaned, and turned over onto her stomach, and buried her face into her pillow.

She knew she'd have to talk to someone at some point, but she was not doing that any time soon. Her mind was too jumbled to even think straight, how in the world was she supposed to talk about how she felt when she couldn't get her thoughts together?

How was she supposed to move on when she didn't want to try?