❝MOTEL OR METH LAB?❞

third person

"well that was a bust." john b muttered as he climbed back on the boat, sage looking up at him with her hand above her eyes to shade them from the sun.

"what'd they say?" she asked as jj shook his head bitterly.

"they didn't tell us shit, they were too focused on this bitches diabetic dog." he said annoyedly, sage patting him on the back.

"it's okay, baby, you tried." she said mockingly as jj rolled his eyes, flipping her off as she sat down next to him on the bow.

"i think i know how we can find out who's room that is." john b said as he tossed the key to sage who twirled it around her finger and smiled at her twin.

"this is magnum p.i. shit and i love it." the blonde said with a large smile, her brother looking at her mischievously as everyone turned to pope.

"guys, we don't know who's room that is, no!" he protested, sage's smile falling as she rolled her eyes.

"can you not be a buzzkill for once?" she deadpanned as pope rolled his eyes.

"come on, we can be lookout!" kiara said enthusiastically.

"and at least you'll only be an accomplice." john b said as pope slouched in defeat, sage's smile rising again.

"that's what i though. let's highjack this shitty motel, shall we?"

sage

i don't know exactly what i expected the motels condition to be when we got there, but somehow it was even worse than when i was nine and forced to stay here with dad and john b for a fishing trip. there's tarps barely attached to their spots on the roof while trees and other debris lay scattered across the lawn, the motel sign completely absent.

"i thought the chateau looked bad." jj voices from behind me.

"this place is a shitshow." i mutter, john b frowning at me.

"why do you constantly feel the need to say shit?"

"it's my favorite word, it can be used for anything, what can i say, it's shit." i say happily as we turn back to looking at the motel.

"motel or meth lab, what are we thinking?" i ask jj, who laughs quietly and shakes his head.

"i'll let you be the judge." pope says from next to me.

"this doesn't look like the type of place someone with a grady-white would stay." kiara comments.

"no, it looks like the type of place someone with a grady-white would get killed." my brother deadpans, making me roll my eyes.

"very reassuring, thank you, b, love you lots." i say sarcastically.

"anytime, sagebrush." john b replies as jj steps up onto the bow, placing his feet apart and puts his finger on his ear as though he's talking into an invisible microphone.

"this is your captain speaking, hms pogue coming in for landing." he says in a low voice, making me smile as the boat hits the bank outside the motel, jj whooping loudly as he jumps off the boat and grabs the bowline to tie.

"hey, sage?" pope says from behind me, and i turn towards him, still smiling.

"sup?" i asked as pope rolled his eyes and pointed between jj and john b.

"don't let those two do anything stupid." he said, making me smile wider.

"no one's having kids, we are at a trashy motel but we're missing cheap tequila." i say sarcastically as pope rolls his eyes and puts his hands in the air in defeat, jj and i watching as kiara hands the key to my brother.

"be careful." she says quietly, john b nodding as jj and i exchange glances, both of us shrugging as we turn towards the motel, john b following close behind as we walk closer to it.

"why are all these mattresses outside?" john b asks cluelessly.

"after hurricanes they have to ditch 'em, they get moldy and shit." jj said as we walked up a set of stairs to the motel's second floor, where jj proceeded to fall behind john b and begin massaging his shoulders.

"be so careful john b." he whined in a horrible imitation of kiara, making me laugh. john b, on the other hand, was having it.

"dude, shut up!" he says annoyedly, to which i realize i can use this to piss him off.

"yeah, b, what was that all about?" i ask mockingly, john b rolling his eyes.

"maybe... just maybe... she wants us to be careful!" john b says with false enthusiasm as i shake my head.

"you're actually so full of shit." i scoff, jj nodding.

"since she heard you and sage being threatened with exile she's just been all over you." jj comments. "be so careful, john b." he moans mockingly as he massages john b's shoulders again, my twin pushing him off, but jj continues. "just gimme that john d already, like when are you gonna swoop on that, bro?"

"bro, stop, you know the rule, no pogue-on-pogue macking." john b says as i roll my eyes.

"you mean the rule that only applies to me even though i'm ten minutes older than you?" i ask, john b nodding.

"yep, that's the one." he replies, turning back to jj. "and besides, you're the one who always hits on her."

"dude, of course i hit on her. she's a super hot rich hippie chick slumming with us." jj mentions as i step between him and john b, looking jj directly in the eyes.

"you're also a man-whore." i say enthusiastically as he shrugs.

"yeah, that too." he admits. "but there's this one chick, she's super hot and smart, i'm thinking about making my move on her."

"i didn't realize i cared." i deadpan, letting myself fall back in between jj and john b.

"you need help." john b says to jj. "not like a little, like a lot of help, because it's like every girl with a heartbeat you're always like, ugh." he groans, reaching his hands out and leaning his head back as i roll my eyes, all of us stopping in front of a motel room door.

"twenty-nine, this is us." i say, jj stepping towards the door and knocking rhythmically.

"housekeeping!" he squeaks in a high-pitched voice, making me laugh.

"are you actually stupid?" i ask, still laughing as he taps the window. i push him and john b away as i stick the motel key into the lock and twist it, pulling the door open and poking my head in.

"you're very hot, breaking-and-entering and all this shit, y'know?" jj asked me, john b slapping him harshly on the back of the head as we all walked into the motel room.

"check that bag, sage." john b said, pointing at a duffel bag on a bag stand. i unzipped the bag while john b looked at another bag on the bed.

"i got a jacket!" i say enthusiastically, but the mood quickly dropped when i realized there was no name or initials on it. "that doesn't have shit on it- oh damn, it's a nice jacket, though."

"he's definitely over 50, he's got new balances." john b says as jj and i walk over to the bedside table where a map is spread out. i pick up a sticky note and look at a set of number that are messily scrawled across it. i shrug, pocketing it as i turn around, where i see john b pushing buttons on a safe.

"is this a fishing spot, maybe?" jj asked, and i turned to look at the map, shaking my head.

"that's off the continental shelf, it's a swell. no one fishes there." i say as i walk towards the dresser, john b shining a flashlight that he most likely pulled out of his ass over it.

"coffee?" he asks in a british accent as he shines his flashlight over a coffee pot.

"yeah, standard." jj comments, walking into the bathroom, john b and i continuing to look around the main room.

"you found anything?" my brother yells to jj.

"yeah, a super awesome dopp kit sage won't let me steal." jj says bitterly as i poked my head through the door.

"yeah, cause we're not stealing shit, jackass." i snapped, moving back into the main room where john b was trying to crack the safe again.

"one, one, one... two!" he said, the light on the safe blinking red as it beeped repeatedly.

"punching shit at random, that'll solve all our problems. thank you, albert einstein." i say sarcastically, pulling the piece of paper from before out of my pocket and handing it to him. "try that."

he punched the numbers into the safe, the light blinking green as the safe clicked. john b twisted the knob on the door, pulling it open.

"holy shit." i whispered.

thousands of dollars in cash, a manila envelope, and a handgun were laying inside the safe.

"jj, get your ass in here!" john b said, jj coming out of the bathroom with god knows what stuffed in his pockets.

"what's up?" he asked, i reached in, grabbing two stacks of the cash and holding them up as i smiled at him.

"you're gonna want to see this."

"dude, dude, dude!" jj said excitedly as he reached into the safe, immediately grabbing the gun, making me roll my eyes.

"you grabbed the gun- you're actually stupid." i mutter.

"sage, this is a sig sauer, dude! this is a spendy gatt bro!" jj said excitedly to john b, who rolled his eyes.

"put the gun down before you shoot someone or something!" john b said angrily, but jj wasn't listening. he held the gun up and began aiming it in various spots around the room, imitating gunshots every time he changed the spot he pointed the gun. i grabbed his wrist and he looked me dead in the eyes, smiling like a little kid on christmas.

"we're not stealing anything!" i say through gritted teeth as jj rolls his eyes.

"come on, sage! at least take a picture of me!" he says, passing me his phone.

"you want me to take a picture of you?" i ask, jj nodding enthusiastically as he poses with his flashlight and the gun.

"are you trying to make our own incriminating evidence?" john b questions, jj's smile fading as he lowers the gun.

"you guys are no fun." he pouts as something hits the window. i wrinkle my eyebrows and walk over, looking through the blinds to see it's just pope and kie outside. i pick the blinds up and duck underneath them, pope and kie jumping and and down while pointing towards the front of the motel.

"check the other window." i deadpan, john b wrinkling his eyebrows as he walks to the other window and looks through the blinds.

"cops." he whispers. i quickly shut the safe door with my foot, jj shoving the gun in his pocket while i grab the stacks of cash i took from the safe, shoving them into the waistband of my shorts. jj moves for the bathroom as i grab him by the collar.

"what?" he whisper-shouts.

"it'll be the first place they check, go for the window, come on!" i say to him and john b as one of the cops begins to knock on the door. i climb out the window first with john b right behind me, jj coming out last as we shut the window, seconds before the cops open the door.

before i could process what was happening, jj had grabbed my wrist and pushed me against the wall, quickly pressing himself against me. he had pushed me in a way that we were facing each other, his chin on top of my head.

"sorry." he whispers, and i shake my head, feeling his chin dig into my scalp a bit as i did so.

"you're fine." i whisper back, looking over to where john b was standing opposite us. he was looking through the blinds, and i could barely make out what the cops were saying, or what was happening.

"what's going on?" i whisper to jj who moves slightly closer to me.

"he opened the safe, he's got some of the cash." right as jj whispered this, i could make out the voice of shoupe, a deputy who was very familiar with the pogues and that none of us liked.

"everybody's gotta dip their beak." he was saying, making me wrinkle my eyebrows. jj turned his head, his chin no longer on top of my head as he looked at john b. the movement caused his whole body to rotate, pushing me impossibly closer to the wall. i happened to look down right as i saw the gun begin to slip out of jj's pocket.

"jj, the gun-" i start, but it was too late. as jj turned back to try to grab the gun, it fell out of his pocket, hitting the lid of a dumpster below us. i bit my lip and held my breath as jj looked over at john b, who has his jaw clenched and was pretending to hit the wall. suddenly, the blinds inside the room were pulled open with a snap, all of us moving closer to the wall, everyone holding their breath.

"let's go." shoupe said, john b, jj, and i exhaling in relief.

"i hate you." i whisper to jj, who nods his head.

"i'd hate me too right now, honestly.

kens speaks 🪐

that was a lot.