Reviewer Rena TaesLilKookie

Dynamite Touch 

By:: Chxrrii_blvsh

The title matches the story really well, especially considering what Mark says after meeting his soulmate, when Taeyong talks to him.

Cover :: 8/10

The cover is super cute and matches the theme of the story really well. However the title isn't visible enough. It's difficult to read, the coloring is too bright and blends into the background. I suggest changing the font color to a darker one so it would be more visible. I also couldn’t find the Author name anywhere, which I suggest to add in the cover somewhere. It can be either you pen name, your wattpad name or real name.

Blurb :: 7/10

The blurb was really good and considering that it was only a one shot and you couldn’t give too many details without giving away the plot it was good. However as much as it tells about your story it isn’t catchy enough. Unless someone really loves the soulmate troupe your description alone won’t pull them in to read.

First Impression :: 3/5

The cover is cute and the blurb is good, however if I’m scrolling through thousands of books this alone would never have caught my attention, but they both work well with the theme of your story so I won’t be docking points for that (it is more my personal preference). However the hook could use some work. It’s not really catchy and doesn’t raise many questions.

Plot :: 5/20

The plot is quite the overused one, and the author did nothing that could make it unique or stand out. I’ve come across so many stories that had pretty much similar vibes. I’m aware there is no one troupe that has never been used before, however how you choose to write it is what makes it unique. Plot twists and the writer's own touch of the rendition.

Flow :: 2/10

The flow of the story wasn’t very smooth. The POV switch every few paragraphs doesn’t allow the reader to really go into a character's head and feel what the character is feeling (which I will touch more on in the Emotion category). 

Switching between POV in the middle of the chapter was also really breaking the flow of the story. It’s hard to focus when you constantly get thrusted into the mind space of different characters in the span of only two to three paragraphs. In writing, as a general rule, it is advised to never switch between POV in the middle of the chapter. If you really have to do it one chapter per character’s POV. 

Which means that Chapter one will be written in Person A’s POV while chapter two will be in Person B’s POV. And back and forth or however you like it. This will help you keep the flow of the story so much better.

Grammar/Vocabulary :: 8/10

Your grasp of grammar and Vocabulary was really good however there were a few spelling errors scattered throughout the story and even some incomplete sentences.

In the second chapter, there was a line that went 'scanning with my eyes around the interior'. Considering scanning is an action you do with your eyes and nothing else, the with my eyes is really redundant here. You can just go ‘scanning around the place,’ the ‘interior of the place’ is also redundant. Since he is inside the cafe he is looking at the inside,

In chapter four (the One) when Mark enters the cafe, you have written ‘I wales towards the cafe…’ This was a spelling error for walking.

Same scene a little below you had written ‘at a secluded was seated…’ Here it should be ‘at a secluded corner sat…’

There were many more such careless mistakes scattered and I really suggest re-reading and doing a spelling/tense check.

Emotions :: 2/10

There was more telling in the story of the events taking place than showing. You could capture the reader's attention a lot better if you add the five senses in your descriptions. Let the reader know what the character is feeling not simply by telling it to us, but showing it by feeling. 

For example, when Taeyong and Eunchae first realised they were soulmates you could have made it more palpable by explaining what the characters were feeling. Raising heartbeat, the shock of color filling their vision, the wonder by wide eyes and gaping mouths. By explaining what it feels like to see color for the first time. That would make it so much more personal for the reader.

Character Development :: 5/10

As for character development, none of the characters had a paradigm shift so they started in the same place of the story and the end of it. As a one shot, I get that you didn’t have a lot of room for major character development, however even their paradigm shift left the characters in the same place they started. Finding their soulmate did nothing. 

This I don’t think is a fault of the plot but rather the lack of emotional writing. As a reader I couldn’t really connect with the character to feel the change (or development).

Writing Style :: 4/10

Your writing style isn’t exactly bad. It’s clear, precise and gives the message to the reader, however it can use some improvement. Most of the dialogue felt robotic (the best way to fix this is to read the dialogue - and only the dialogue - out loud to yourself and see how it sounds. If it sounds like you are reading off of a script, then that’s exactly what the reader is going to feel as well. Slang and speaking style alone doesn’t add to dialogue, though it makes each character unique, it needs a flow as much as the writing does.

It wasn’t just the dialogue, but rather the exquisiteness of the writing was missing. The writing was rather bland, again easily fixable by adding the five senses to scene descriptions. Each character perceives the world differently, and you can show that with your writing. Some might make more notice of how someone is dressed, if they have a passion for interior decorating they might also take more not of the ambience and aesthetic of the place they are at.

And while talking about bland writing, I have to mention white room syndrome. Sure, you mentioned they were in a cafe but we have no further details of the cafe to make a clear picture. While you don’t have to give a paragraph length description of the cafe, just small things mentioned when someone enters the cafe or when they get seated would help the reader picture the cafe much better than a simple white room where everything is left to the reader's imagination.

Readers Enjoyment :: 3/5

The theme was cute and the concept of soulmates is something I really love. It would have made for a better reading experience with a little better flow and emotion.

Overall :: 3/5

Total :: 55/100

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Hope you will take the words and marks into the consideration and will let us see a better version soon.