Today is another day. The year is almost done. Ah, I can't believe it. It's been what? 3 months since we debuted. Up until now, I can't still believe it. I'm currently at our dorm, cleaning.

"Unnie! We're going out to buy gifts for tomorrow and for Kayden oppa! Are you coming with us?" I heard Jinny shouted. I look around. Wait, yeah! Today's Kayden's birthday! I almost forgot!

"Ne! Wait, I'm just going to fix myself." I said and went to my room.

I wore a simple dress and we went out. We take pictures but we didn't post it. I'm glad our fans are not the kind of fans who'll interrupt you when you went to public places. They just say hi, and take pictures. Hello, we are also humans. We want a normal life.

"Unnie, what are you buying for Kayden oppa?" Yewon asked beside me. I looked at her and shrugged.

"I actually don't know Yewon-ah, what do you think I should buy?" I said as I look around.

"Hmmm, it's really hard to find a gift for a guy unnie. Just choose whatever you want to choose." She said and smiled. We entered a boutique and picked a gift for the boys and some staffs of the entertainment.

"Yah Era-ssi, are you buying Kayden a gift?" Unnie asked. I nodded and find a gift for Kayden. This will be hard.

"How about Keon? Have you chose a gift for him huh?" Zia teased me. I chuckled. Tease me more Zia 

"Ne, I bought him this hoodie. He said he wanted to receive one, so I bought him some." I said and smiled.

"That's sweet of you unnie." She said and smiled.

"How about you Zia? What did you choose for him?"

"Oh, a music pad and a phone case. I noticed that his phone case is not that good anymore, that's why I choose this one." She said and smiled. I smiled back.

"Oh, nice! But why a music pad?"

"He loves to write music, he once told that in an interview, he said he wants to write songs." she smiled. I smiled so big and pat her head.

"He'll definitely love that." I whispered and smiled.

The girls already finished choosing a gift and here I am, still not decided what to buy. I looked around and find a perfect gift for him. I smiled and buy it.

"Wow! A couple bracelet?" Kahrel teased me. "Is that for Keon oppa?" she asked. I just nodded and looked away.

"Yah unnie! Look! How about you just give that hoodie to Kayden oppa and buy this instead? It's a couple hoodie. It's so cute!" Zia said and handed it to me.

"A-ani, we don't need that. This is fine," I said and laughed a bit.

"Miss, she's also taking this." Zia said and handed it to the cashier. I widened my eyes.

"Aniyo! Zia-ssi, ani!" I said and told her but she just smiled and I have no choice but to buy it.

It's already 2:30 in the afternoon. Max sunbae said we'll celebrate Kayden's birthday later at 6. He said they're still busy buying some foods and stuffs for later.

I continued cleaning the place and later on the doorbell rang.

"Someone get that please!" Hannah unnie shouted from the kitchen. I went to the door and saw DAWN sunbaenim in there.

"Oh! Sunbaenim! You're early!" I exclaimed they laughed and I let them in.

"Yah! All of you get out they're here already!" I shouted and they all went outside.

"Annyeong sunbaenim!" Kahrel, Yewon, and Jinny greeted. "Sunbaenim annyeong!" Hannah unnie shouted from the kitchen. We laughed at her.

"Where's Zia?" Max oppa asked. And then Zia popped out her room, yawning.

"Who's there?" Zia asked and rubbed her eyes. She then open her lazily and was shocked to see DAWN sunbaenim in front of her. Her eyes widened and bowed.

"Oh! Annyeonghasseyo sunbaenim! Ah, mianhe." She said as as she covers her face. I looked at Keon who's now smiling. Oh, I know that smile.

I looked at them and noticed that Kayden is not around. Keon went to me and hugged me.

"Jagiii!" He shouted. I rolled my eyes. Acting time huh?

"Wae? Why are you clingy huh?" I asked and laughed.

"So you guys are finally dating huh?" Jake oppa. Keon just laughed and looked at me and smiled.

"You're really going all out huh?" I whispered to him. He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Of course, I'm good at this." he said as he put his arms on my shoulder.

"Hannah-ya, what are you cooking?" Jake sunbae asked. Oh yeah, I heard Jake sunbae is also good at cooking.

"Ah, just simple foods oppa." Hannah unnie said.

"Let me help you then, it's almost 6." he said and unnie nodded.

"Where's Kayden by the way? Is he coming?" Zia asked. She was silent the whole time.

"Oh, he don't really celebrate his birthday. It's his parent's death anniversary." Heesh oppa said. I got stuck on my seat. His parents...died?

"Huh? Jinjjayo?" Hannah unnie asked and then looked at me. I looked at her.

"Ne, it was during our training days and at the same time his graduation and birthday, they had a car accident. Kayden was devastated, he even think of leaving the entertainment, but eventually, he get better thanks to PD-nim." Max oppa said. I feel my heart ripping, I didn't know that.

"Where could he be this time oppa?" Yewon asked.

"At his house, he's probably visiting his parents grave now. He'll probably drink and drink at his house the moment he'll come home." Justin oppa said. I looked away the moment I heard that.

Keon looked at me worriedly. I excused myself and went to my room. I keep walking back and forth and stopped myself from crying.

Why didn't I even know that?

"Noona?" I heard Keon's voice outside. I sighed and fixed myself. I opened the door and saw him. He smiled a bit.

"Can I come in?" He asked. I nodded and let him in.

"Noona, gwaenchana?" He asked. I closed the door and nodded.

"Ne, i just feel sad." I whispered.

"Waeyo?"

"I feel sad for Kayden. I wasn't there for him when he needed me. That's why, that's why... he was... he was crying so hard, he was blaming me, maybe... maybe it's really my fault. It's my fault Keon ah." I was crying.

"Y-yah! N-noona stop crying please, it's not your fault okay? It's not your fault. It was an accident, it's not your fault. Please stop crying noona."

He was hugging me. I keep on crying as I  remembering what he has told me way back. Is that the reason why he couldn't tell me everything? I was even harsh on him.

"Stop crying okay? Once you go out  they will think that I made you cry. Noona, Kayden hyung will be fine. Don't worry arrasseo? I'm here, we're here." he said and hugged me again.

Its 5:00 in the afternoon. I wore a comfortable dress and decided to go to Kayden. I'll buy foods and cake. Maybe, maybe it's time for us to be fine now?

I went out secretly the door but Yewon noticed me.

"Unnie? Where are you going? We're going to eat later, are you buying something?" she asked. I looked at her and laughed. I started putting my mask on, a cap and my eyeglasses.

"Yah unnie. You're not answering me." she said and crossed her arms.

"Ssssh. Be quiet! I'm going to Kayden, don't tell anyone about it arrasseo?" I said and put my shoes on.

"Mwo? Waeyo? Does Keon oppa know about this? Yah unnie! Once he finds out about this he'll get jealous." she said and looked at me seriously. Geez. How should I tell Yewon about us?

"Unnie! Answer me."

"We... we're just pretending Yewon ah." I whispered to her. Her eyes widened and looked at me.

"What?!" she shouted.

"Yah! Yewon ah! Lower down your voice!" I heard Jinny said. I chuckled.

"Just don't tell anyone about it okay? Keep it a secret for now. I'm going now." I said. "Oh, wait!"

"Unnie, are you sure about this? And how come you and Keon are just pretending? Unnie you better tell it to me clear---"

"Yes yewon-ah. I will tell you. I'm going now. Enjoy the night with the sunbaes!" I said went out.

I grab my car and texted Keon.

me

hey, can you send me Kayden's address?