[ CURSE WARNING! ]
[ not angst tho ]

''a feeling he never felt before.''

— ☆

doyoung entered his bedroom, feeling weak and exhausted from all the things he did at his little cousin's birthday party.

he was the host or the entertainer. his cousin's parents chose him specifically since he's good with handling little kids and entertaining people.

there were a lot of little children, due to his cousin's extrovertedness so it took all of his energy to handle all of them.

'i can take a shower tomorrow. today is just...fun.' he took off his shoes before throwing himself to his bed. "ow..." he mumbled as his whole body ached as soon as his body landed on the soft sheets.

even soft sheets hurts him. must have been hard to deal those kids.

his face was facing sidewards, his eyes were already closed, his feet were hanging from the edge of the bed, and his whole body just feels numb. he just wants to rest.

and so he did.

— ☆

taeyong went out of his room to drink some water. he still couldn't sleep.

his mind was filled with various things, especially the things he did a few years ago. he just couldn't help but think on what would happened if he did otherwise. not the things he actually did.

he regretted some, but the others were fine. it's just that his head couldn't stop thinking about the things he said, or did when he was younger.

why does he even think that? it's no use to himself. shouldn't he be thinking about the present, or what he could do to improve himself?

but whatever his reason is. he just wants to rest his mind for a while.

he walked around the living room after drinking water and was surprised to see the door open.

did doyoung already come back?

he closed the door and saw doyoung's bag sitting beside it. yep, he's back.

'but why would he leave his things there? and why isn't his shoes on it's place? this is so...unlike him.' taeyong thought.

"doyoung-ah!" taeyong yelled. but he heard no response. he sighed to himself before taking the bag with him.

'what a mess. he even left the door open.' taeyong groaned. 'but what can i do? doyoung's doyoung and i can't do anything about it.'

he walked upstairs, the bag on his left shoulder. 'why would he even leave his bag there? did something happen? wait...don't tell me...'

he placed the bag down one he reached the second floor and opened it. making sure it was doyoung's.

'wait what? a cake? candies? why are there confettis here? a letter?'

doyoung's bag was a mess.

he took the letter out and saw a handwriting of a little kid. like a 6 year old kid or something.

thank you for helping
my parents set my party!
i overheard them over a
week ago? i think..?
the party was great becous
of you uncle! haha!
im writing this inside the
batroom. my friends
are waiting for me outside.
but, thank u alot uncle
dingdongyoung!
i love you, haha!! ♡

and a drawing of 4 stick figures underneath it. with the labels 'you, me, mama, and papa' in each stickman.

taeyong found himself giggling at the letter. he put the letter back in and closed the bag. 'no need to worry, it's just doyoung.' taeyong sighed in relief.

he knocked on the younger's room but no response was heard.

"doyoung?" he called again. but still nothing.

he opened the door slowly and found a sleeping doyoung lying on his bed. it was obvious that he's tired.

his position was a mess. he didn't even change his clothes. he placed the bag down neatly and went near the younger.

he started to remove doyoung's socks and went out to place it in their laundry room. he went back to carry doyoung and place him nicely on his bed.

he then took doyoung's blanket and placed it on top of the younger.

and for some strange reason, as taeyong was fixing the blanket. he felt doyoung's hands form into a fist and starts clenching it. doyoung's eyes furrowed and his expression was...angry? mad?... furious.

'what the heck is happening to him?' taeyong thought.

"ah-- fuck!" doyoung sat up from the bed, breathing heavily he looked at the older. taeyong was surprised. 'did this kid just curse?'

"ah, shit. what the hell happened?" doyoung scratched his head, he looked back down. "wait, i'm sorry for cursing." doyoung 'laughed'.

"yeah, you better not do that again. but why?" taeyong asked. "why did you curse?" he added before doyoung could say anything.

"maybe because i dreamt. now go away, i'm going back to sleep." doyoung laid back down, he covered himself with the blanket as he faced sideways.

"is it bad if i ask you what you dreamt about? because i'm asking it right now." taeyong looked at the younger.

"you wouldn't wanna know." doyoung yawned. he felt his eyes get heavy again. "good night anyways."

but when doyoung closed his eyes, he saw his dream again. it was the scene when his parents divorced right infront of him. "what the actual fuck." doyoung hit his head as he sat back up again. he heard their yells and fights once again.

"okay, tell me what's inside your head or else it wouldn't go away." taeyong sat beside doyoung. "actually, nevermind. that would be tmi. but, it's your choice though."

"hey! get off of my bed!" doyoung pushed taeyong aggresively. "you are invading my personal space." doyoung scoffed.

"geez, i was only trying to help you. but if it's your choice then so be it." taeyong got out of doyoung's bed and walked away.

and doyoung just stared at the older blankly. i'm a man. i don't need anyone.

and the scene hit him again.

he closed his eyes, not wanting to see nor hear it again. but he miserably failed. he can see the scene even if he close his eyes, their voices were ringing in his head as well.

'you don't even love our child! you fucking whore!'

'he's worthless, you bastard! i didn't even want a second child! you fucker! just take him and leave his brother to me!'

'you didn't want to have a second child? then why did you do it with me? you asked for it! what a slut.'

'just get the hell out of my life!! and you! you mean nothing to anyone! you are worthless! you don't deserve anyone, you fucking kid.'

he grabbed his hair and yelled.

"just fucking stop!!"

'why now out of any time? was i jealous of my cousin? why does everyone i meet has the perfect...family? while i...don't.'

doyoung was breathing heavily. he just wants everything to stop. in fact, it would be better if he just died anyways.

taeyong threw a piece of paper at doyoung. "read this. it might make you feel better."

it was the letter taeyong read earlier.

doyoung took it and read the whole letter. should he feel happy? seeing the word 'parents' makes him want to vomit. it just made everything worst to be honest. he did enjoy the party and all, but now's not the right time to say the 'p' word.

he crumpled the paper and threw it away.

doyoung took the blanket and used it to cover himself. he wants to be alone right now, but his thoughts isn't cooperating with him. and it doesn't look like it would go away sooner or later now.

"just fucking stop." he mumbled to himself. "stop saying things i don't want to hear." he added. "just stop."

'you're useless. you can't even do math properly, or even help around the house. all you do is eat, sleep, and talk about nonsense.'

"i said..." doyoung was close to breaking down, his voice became husky and weak. i'm not useless right? i'm not...i'm not....

his whole body was shivering in fear.

"st--"

taeyong embraced him.

"i don't know what's in your mind right now, but people say hugs make everything feel better." taeyong spoke. "also, i'm gonna be saying sorry right now cause i'm invading your personal space." he sighed.

he laid beside doyoung and hugged the little bump under the blanket.

"everything's going to be alright, doyoung. just believe in yourself."

doyoung teared up. the words didn't help, but the hug is somehow working.

"i advise you to stop thinking about anything for now and just focus on the hug." taeyong started patting the bump lightly.

the younger really seemed to forget about anything. he felt warm and safe under the older's hug. a feeling he's never felt before.

his parents were never there for him. they only treated him trash until he's finally on his own. until he's finally legal.

doyoung sniffed.

"i know this is weird, but...i just couldn't help myself." taeyong chuckled. doyoung put the blanket away, down to his feet and taeyong put away his hands. "just keep in mind that this would be the first and last time i'm doing this to comfort you."

doyoung wanted to hit taeyong in the face at that moment. he just knew that he would be wanting more for some reason.

"then let's stay like this forever." doyoung stated. he took taeyong's arms and put it on his waist, he hugged taeyong back and snuggled himself closer to the older's chest. "call me hypocrite all you want, but you told me to not think about anything right now. right?" doyoung whispered, just enough for taeyong to understand even if his words were a little fuzzy and unclear.

taeyong was flustered. just to let everyone know...this flustered person right here almost had a crush on this bunny right here. but he pushed his feelings away, not wanting for their friendship to be torn just because of his stupid feelings.

"hey! i only did that to help you! don't get too com--"

"shh...i'm trying to sleep." doyoung mumbled. "let's just stay like this for a long time if you're gonna be doing this the last time with me."

"i g-guess..." taeyong stuttered.

those feelings he threw away so far for him to not reach it anymore. he put all his effort on pushing it away. guess it was pointless. he didn't think that doyoung would be this vulnerable and stuff.

"are you okay?" doyoung asked. his ears were on taeyong's chest and he felt taeyong's heartbeat go fast with every second that passed by.

"i-i'm fine." taeyong faced the other way. "why do you ask? i should be the one asking you that."

"your heartbeat's going fast. are you suffocating from my hug?"

taeyong's eyes widened.

"n-no! it's not that..." the older looked back at doyoung, only for their faces to meet with each other really close. "ah!" he pushed doyoung away. not really meaning to do that.

doyoung was a bit offended actually. does he not hug that well?

"i guess that would be the last." doyoung sighed, disappointed that it didn't last long. "thanks for helping me, yong. i really appreciate it." doyoung looked away.

taeyong mentally face-palmed himself. why did he have to panick??

but it can be fixed.

taeyong suddenly had a bright idea. he just really didn't want to let go of the younger, he wanted it to last longer...or maybe forever.

"i didn't promise though." taeyong spoke. he hugged the younger, and finally felt complete again.

the same goes with doyoung.

he didn't even bother to push the older away.

''who would've knew that a simple hug was all that it would take for him to feel like himself again?''

•°☆ —end

[ also, i hope taeyong would get well soon. especially since his birthday is coming up...advanced happy birthday as well, haha💚

i'm sorry for giving all of my readers so many dotae stuff. i'm just too touched by their friendship. it makes me doubt if i'm really being a friend to my friends. so, yeah. peace✌ ]