note: i'll be doing requests after this, guys so be sure to leave your requests in the comments section below, or give me a quick pm! i'll be doing them in order of my preference but i'll be sure to tag you

and another thing: where are my jinyeon trash at??????!!!! come at me my peeps jk lol sorry for making my first jinyeon one shot an angst one huhu

recommend listening to the instrumental for extra feels! (the instrumental is actually a music box type, smyang makes them and i thought it would be perfect for a theme like this)

plot: in which jinyoung and nayeon lament a miscarriage in the middle of the night at what would've been their first child's nursery

warning: may cause your emotionally weak heart to burst

type: angst

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Jinyoung rolled over to his side on their bed, expecting to feel his wife's warmth as he attempted to put an arm around her. But his eyes immediately open as he felt the space beside him empty - Nayeon wasn't on their bed.

He sat up, and checked his phone: 2:23 am. It was still sort of early, and that left Jinyoung wondering what Nayeon could possible be doing at this time of day.

But then again, he shouldn't have wondered, because she was looking to heal herself after what just happened. He was looking to heal, too. He didn't think that both of them would ever be at peace yet, and now, they are just trying to get themselves to feel better after what had happened. And he couldn't leave Nayeon alone if that was what's keeping her up right now.

He got up and unhooked his bathrobe as he exited the bedroom door, barefoot as he walked down the flight of stairs. It was sort of dark inside the house, but he made his way easily. He checked every room of their home - the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, even the closets. He made sure to check and shine a small light from his phone to see if Nayeon had retreated there. He even checked the rooftop and the balcony - but she wasn't anywhere.

Then, he shut his eyes. The nursery, he thought. He closed his eyes as his chest began to sigh heavily.

He made his way to the room, which was just down the hallway from their kitchen. He walked slowly, and there he saw his wife, sitting on the matted floor just beside the crib.

The nursery was beautiful. It was full of toys that Jinyoung had bought all over Seoul (whenever he and Nayeon had a trip, he just had to buy a toy; bonus because he got to buy more since he didn't know if it was a boy or girl), arranged in shelves neatly, untouched since they were first put there. The floor was lined with a soft rubber mat composed of differently-colored rubber puzzle pieces. The walls were painted a bright blue, to symbolize the little boy who would soon be the angel of their life.

The little angel who didn't make it.

He had her back turned from him, and she didn't even look back when she heard the door creak open. Jinyoung placed his phone on top of one of the shelves, and slowly made his way to Nayeon, whose hair was neatly tied back, wearing a bathrobe as well. She was sitting with her legs crossed, and Jinyoung did the same, scooting so that their shoulders were touching each other.

"You scared me, you know," he said as he adjusted on his seat. "You were suddenly gone."

Nayeon didn't respond, and Jinyoung understood - she was having a harder time than he was.

It wasn't that the baby was too late to be saved - the baby just didn't make it so that he could go out. The baby stopped developing, and its pulse dropped at seven months, and it meant that it couldn't go on anymore. Jinyoung's heart broke into a million pieces once he heard the news, and he couldn't shake it off of him until this moment. But Nayeon needed him, because she's the mother. She carried this child. This was harder on her more than it was for him, and if he himself was hurting, he thought, he could only imagine what his wife must have been suffering from.

For a while, they just sat there, beside each other, taking everything in.

Jinyoung snaked his hand into Nayeon's. It was cold. "Are you okay, jagi?" he asked, breaking the silence after a long time.

Nayeon sighed heavily. He laid her hand onto Jinyoung's shoulder and removed the hair out of her face. "I don't even know, Jinyoung." She sighed again, and spoke, but her voice was starting to crack this time. "I'm-I'm such a bad mother."

"Hey, don't say that," Jinyoung responded immediately.

"I am," she retorted. "Maybe I should've followed the doctor's advice, there were a few things I was feeling and I couldn't say-Gosh, how was I this stupid to not even notice-"

"Nayeon, don't blame yourself, please."

"Oppa, who else is there to blame? I probably was the reason, I couldn't take care of myself enough to let our baby grow-"

"Nayeon-"

"Stop it, Jinyoung! Don't deny it, we both know it's all my fault!" Nayeon raised her voice, and Jinyoung stayed in silence.

Nayeon sobbed, and felt bad. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have raised my voice." She continuously apologized and sobbed and sobbed on his shoulder, and just released all of the pain inside of her.

She suddenly felt her husband's soft hand brush her left cheek, wiping her tears away. She looked up and saw a single tear trickle down his face. "Don't cry, Nayeon-ssi, I hate seeing you cry," he cooed softly. He kissed her forehead. "It feels like I'm being stabbed in the heart whenever I see you cry."

"I'm so sorry, oppa," she sobbed. "It-It's all my fault."

"It was never your fault, jagi. It-It just wasn't the right time." His voice cracked as well, and Nayeon saw tears coming down his face as well. "We need to carry on, even if hurts so much." She lifted his chin to face her, and wiped his tears all away. Then, he rested his head on hers, hear head on his shoulder, as they looked up at the nursery.

They marveled at how pretty it had turned out. Jinyoung remembered how excited Nayeon was once the room has been painted, and even instructed Jinyoung how they were to arrange the toys. They stayed home the whole afternoon to decorate this room, and even ate dinner in the mat below. Nayeon smiled and bragged at how neat everything was, and Jinyoung smiled just as huge, saying that it was a nice family dinner, even if the baby was still in Nayeon's belly.

Jinyoung still couldn't believe that everything he had been hoping for was lost. He had some pain inside of him, too, but he couldn't let it out, because he wanted to be strong and be there for Nayeon. He didn't mind himself, because Nayeon needed to feel better. But now, everything was just coming down, as his wife cooed to him, "Just let it out, Jinyoung, I know this is hard on you, too." He lightly sobbed on his wife's embrace as they sat there in the darkness.

They stayed silent for a while, not saying another word to each other, just letting all of their pain out.

Jinyoung then spoke up. "Angel?"

"Yes?" Nayeon replied.

"Not you, jagi, I'm talking to our angel," he replied. Nayeon had to think at first, but then she understood - Jinyoung was talking to their son. She then stayed silent.

"Angel," he said, continuing where he left off, "It feels terrible that you can't be with us right now. We feel sad because we said goodbye to you even before we said hello."

She felt Jinyoung's hands shake as they were entangled with hers, but he continued.

"Now that you're up there, we hope you can look after us, like we looked after you while you were still with us." Another tear ran down Jinyoung's cheek, and so did Nayeon's. "Keep us safe every day, because we'll be praying for you, and we will never, ever forget you, Angel, you'll always be in our hearts."

Jinyoung sobbed, and Nayeon gave a small smile. She knew he was trying his best to be strong right now. "Eomma and appa loves you, so, so, so much, Angel, always remember that."

He squeezed Nayeon's hands, and she rubbed his back to make him feel better. "Are you okay?" she asked, crying like he was. He gave a small nod, and looked up at her, a small smile on his face.

Jinyoung was grateful for his wife, each and every day.

"Everything will be okay, I promise, oppa," she whispered as she placed a loving peck on Jinyoung's lips. His tears were still fresh, but he managed a small smile as Nayeon held his hand tightly.

"Let's get to bed, then," he said, standing up, and helping Nayeon up, since she still had fresh wounds. Arm in arm, they walk out of the nursery. Nayeon glanced one more time at the room, and let out a small smile as Jinyoung kissed the side of her head, before closing the door behind her and heading back to their own bedroom, their hearts both finally at peace.

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i was bawling my eyes out after writing this huhuhuuhuhuhuhuhuhuhhuhuhu hope you guys like this! sorry again for making my first jinyeon an angst one, i just didn't feel in the best mood to make a fluff today, sorry. i'll be taking requests, and the next chapter will have a request, so leave them on the comments below or pm me! thanks!

WORD COUNT: 1,379 words

- nayeonsbunny