𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐬
𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐱

from the eyes of
— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐉𝐀𝐃𝐄 —

This is getting so complicated, a true mess for the ages. Two wayward children bred of universal winds ill-fated for one another.

My eyes opened before I closed them again, my body shifting against the soft shifts and digging myself deeper into my bed as I slowly came to consciousness. I could not be sure how long I had been sleeping, but it had to have been a while.

I hugged myself further into the comforter, my right hand coming up and sliding under my pillow. My left outstretched subconsciously to find the idiot that had somehow become my sleeping partner (despite him not actually sleeping most of the time). I was left frowning and peeking an eye open again when nothing but more bed met my grasp.

The Doctor was gone—but he had not been for long if the fact that the other side of the bed was still warm is anything to go by.

My heart fluttered as my mind raced to the not-really-dreams I'd had all night. Shared psychic episodes with the Doctor would be a better thing to label them as. Not quite dreams, but still mental sleeping imaginations.

It also explained why the Doctor was more open during the lucidness of it all. Obviously, he was not absurdly different, but considering it was mostly his inner mind that had been in charge, it caused him to be less protective and give in to any desires.

Now, I will admit, that last one was pretty much all me. But the Doctor had definitely been into it. I was still surprised by how into it he was, but after that alleyway memory—my apparent future—I guess I really shouldn't be.

But truly, I'm surprised that he even likes sex at all.

I closed my eyes—rolling over and sinking further into my bed as I prayed for sleep to overcome me once more. Another few hours of relaxation and unconsciousness sounded amazing.

The dreams; better said, the details of the dreams were fading away by the second. I was only left with the idea of what happened—AKA, the Doctor and I had accidentally connected telepathically and we danced. A dance that took a sexual turn incredibly quickly.

The Doctor had no doubt awakened before me, that is why the dream had been cut off so abruptly and I had been left in a dreamless sleep for an unknown amount of time. Internally, I smiled recognizing he probably awoke due to the intensity of the orgasm I gave him.

I hated to admit that I was a bit sad he had not stuck around until I woke up per usual. However, it was better this way seeing as I planned on hardcore denying remembering any of our shared dreams.

Not that I was necessarily ashamed of it, but y'know... considering everything, talking about that on top of it all just seemed like adding unnecessary complications.

Just as my buzzing thoughts relaxed and peace began washing over me again—my bedroom door opened and the lights of the room automatically turned brighter. I groaned loudly, hiding my face in the pillow.

I knew who it was without looking.

"Dearest!" The Doctor cheered.

"What?" I groaned grumpily, peeking an eye open as the smell of breakfast hit me.

He was standing at my door, a goofy smile plastered on his face and a large tray holding two plates of breakfast in his grasp.

He had changed now adorned in a bright red bow tie, salmon button-up, and navy trousers that could easily pass as black if one looked quickly. His suspenders were fully visible seeing as his tweed jacket was missing.

At least he was not naked anymore.

The same could not be said about me seeing as under the comforter, I was still only adorned in a white tank top and knickers.

My glare softened at the food in his grasp—the food that was quickly making my room smell delectable.

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey as you humans say!" He happily sang, walking in and closing the door with his foot behind him.

I vaguely heard Amy yell something, but her voice was cut off as he closed the door. The Doctor purposely ignored whatever she had said as he shuffled to the foot of my bed where he placed the tray.

"Is that mashbrowns?" I asked, voice still raspy from sleep but hopeful.

The Doctor's eyes lit up at my tone, the man frantically shaking his head.

"Oh yes, made by me, of course! So it'll be delicious..." He explained before doing some insane movement to roll next to me in bed, half his body hanging off so as not to knock the tray over.

He sprawled his upper half on top of me, his head resting on my mid-section. I quirked a brow but did not push him off, only bringing a hand to mindlessly play with his fluffy locks. The Doctor hummed at the touch.

Regeneration is very complicated. How I understand it—the Doctor would always have the mind and memories of however old he truly is. But... at the same time... the personality quirks of his generation will often coincide with his body's physical age.

This all to say that while the ageless TimeLord acts like an old man who has lived for almost a millennia in most ways, there are also many ways in which he had taken to acting like a true nerdy man-child in his mid to late 20s.

"Why did you bring me breakfast?" I yawned.

The Doctor hit me with a raised right eyebrow. "Why not?" He challenged.

I stared at him for a moment, my fingers still playing with his hair. "I don't know... you don't usually bring me breakfast in bed."

He flashed me a toothy grin. "I was feeling generous!"

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "Generous?"

The Doctor waggled his eyebrows. "Yes, exactly. Very generous. Maybe I just wanted to see your lovely face light up when you saw the mashbrowns."

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide the smile that threatened to form. "Uh-huh, sure. And it definitely doesn't have anything to do with our time hiding under the bed last night?"

The Doctor's face twitched for a fraction of a second, but he recovered with impressive speed, his grin never faltering. "Can't say it does..."

I scoffed, leaning over and grabbing a piece of bacon. "You're a terrible liar, Doctor."

He gasped in mock offense, his head still resting comfortably on my stomach. "Me? A liar? I take great offense to that, dearest."

"Oh, hush," I mumbled through a mouthful of bacon. "You're just trying to butter me up to figure out all my nasty little secrets. You're not slick, oldie. Don't try to play dumb."

The Doctor sat up, his hair a tousled mess from my fingers. "Alright, fine. But I still just wanted to have a nice breakfast in bed with my best girl,"

"Best girl?" I scoffed.

"Best girl," He affirmed before continuing. "But what about what happened once we went to sleep? Or are you going to pretend you don't remember any of it?"

I shrugged, feigning ignorance. "Remember what? I was asleep. Were you not?"

He narrowed his eyes, clearly unimpressed with my act. "Really? Not even a single little detail?" He said, ignoring the last part of my sentence.

I gave him my best innocent look. "Nope."

He hummed thoughtfully, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Interesting... I could've sworn you were enjoying yourself."

I felt my face heat up, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing me flustered. "I don't know what you're talking about. I suppose we shared a good cuddle, now that you mention it. You make a good teddy bear, TimeLord..."

"Do I?" The Doctor asked thoughtlessly before he leaned in, his voice dropping to a low murmur. "Look who is playing dumb now, naughty girl."

My breath hitched, my heart thundering in my chest. He was close—too close. His eyes were dark, filled with playful intent as he searched my face for a crack in my façade.

But before I could react, before I could do anything foolish like close the distance between us, the Doctor abruptly pulled back and clapped his hands. "Right! Breakfast!"

I blinked, my head spinning from the sudden shift in the atmosphere. "What?"

"Breakfast!" He repeated, reaching over to the tray and handing me a plate. "Mashbrowns, bacon, scones, and whatever else I could find in the kitchen. Eat up!"

I took the plate. "Right... breakfast."

The Doctor was already digging in, his face lighting up as he tasted his own cooking. "Oh! I outdid myself today. These are brilliant!"

I laughed, taking a bite of the mashbrowns. "Not bad, Doctor. I'm impressed."

He beamed, shoving another forkful into his mouth. "You should be! I am quite the impressive person if I do say so myself!"

"Don't get hurt from patting yourself on the back, old man..." I snickered and he rolled his eyes while tossing a grape at me.

A grape I impressively managed to catch in my mouth. He laughed with delight, clapping his hands at the show of skill.

We fell into a comfortable rhythm, sharing breakfast and chatting mindlessly. He told me about some strange alien market he once visited where everything was sold upside down, and I shared a true story from my past about a Ravager faction prank war that had gotten wildly out of hand.

For once; my words weren't a lie or a twisted truth, the prank war ended up with the assassination of President Kennedy... oops.

Before he could properly react, I told him another incident during the prank war where an entire planet's water source accidentally ended up getting drained; which now that I think about it isn't much better.

The Doctor's face reflected someone who'd just been slapped once I told him those stories.

The food was delicious, and the company was even better. It felt so... normal. So domestic. Well, as domestic and normal as it can get given the circumstances. I could almost pretend we were a couple, having a lazy morning in bed.

But of course, the Doctor never lets things stay simple for long. And neither can I for the matter.

He finished his plate and leaned back against the headboard, his arms behind his head as he watched me finish the last bite of my scone.

"So, dearest," He began casually, his voice deceptively light. "Your mother has been brought up a few times now... but it usually takes two to tango—"

"A well-known fact," I interrupted, smirking as he turned an adorable shade of pink.

"Yes, well," He stammered before clearing his throat and continuing. "Who is your father, then? Or is that another mystery I'm expected to figure out on my own?"

I looked him dead in the eye, my face shameless. Fire crackled between us. "What? Doctor, I thought you knew." I asked him, confused.

His face scrunched up in confusion as well. "Knew what?"

"You're my dad. Better said, my daddy, Doctor, remember?"

The Doctor's face went beet red, and he choked violently, his hand coming up to clutch his throat as he coughed. "I—What?! PJ!" He cried out, looking absolutely scandalized. "You're lying, tell me you're lying right now!"

It's the fact that this guy even thinks that it is a possibility!

I burst out laughing, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes as he continued to sputter.

"Oh my god, the look on your face!"

"That—That is not funny!" He scolded, his face still flushed. "That is absolutely not—"

"My sugar daddy, Doctor," I corrected, unable to resist.

He covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking as he shook his head. "Stop it! That is not what this is, you know that!"

"Are you sure?" I teased, batting my eyelashes. "You take me all over the universe, feed me, give me a bed to sleep in... sounds like a sugar daddy situation to me."

The Doctor's hands fell from his face, revealing a deeply flustered expression. "Stop! That's... that's... a terrible insinuation."

It's because like, at this point, let's be honest. It's partly true.

I grinned, leaning back against my pillows. "Oh, come on, Doctor. You love me."

He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're lucky I do."

We both fell silent, the weight of his words hanging in the air. I did not dare say anything in response.

But the Doctor, being who he was, quickly deflected to something else. His expression shifted, his eyes narrowing as a sly smile formed on his lips. "You know... speaking of love, you seemed pretty infatuated last night."

My heart skipped a beat. "I told you, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really? You don't remember anything? Not even the dancing?"

"Nope," I lied, keeping my face neutral. "Dreamless sleep."

The Doctor's smirk widened, his voice dropping to a whisper as he leaned in. "Whatever you say... naughty girl."

For a second, I thought he was going to kiss me. His face was so close, his eyes locked on mine, and his lips were just inches away. I don't think I would have had the power to do anything but kiss him back if he did.

But then he pulled back, jumping off the bed and clapping his hands. "Right! I'm taking you somewhere."

I blinked, still reeling from his sudden movements. "What? Where?"

He was already gathering the breakfast tray, and his energy renewed. "Somewhere cool! Be ready in 20 minutes."

"Cool like actually cool or cool like your bow tie cool?" I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms before adding. "And what is this? A date?"

"Both are the same level of cool!" He defended before his face scrunched up adorably as he considered the other question. "Exactly! Except Amy and Rory will be there."

"A double date, then?"

He rolled his eyes, moving to the door. "Call it what you want, dearest!"

And with that, he was gone, leaving me alone with a pout.

Twenty minutes later, I bounced into the console room, my rocket boots clicking against the metal grating as I skidded to a halt. This time, I dared not wear anything but my trusty boots—blaster stuffed securely into the waistband of my dark cargo pants. My patchy flight jacket was zipped over a fitted tank top, hugging me snugly against the chill of the TARDIS.

My goggles were perched on top of my head, their lenses tinted with a faint blue that caught the light just right. My hair was knotted upward in two spunky braided pigtails, tied off with metallic cords that shimmered like stardust whenever I moved. The style was practical, keeping my hair out of my face but also adding a bit of rebellious flair.

This time, I had gone the extra mile. For the first time in a while, I bothered with makeup. Not the understated, subtle kind humans on Earth favored—no, my face was painted to look like I had just stepped out of a supernova.

The mascara I used made my lashes impossibly long, curling outward like the delicate tendrils of a nebula. But it was the eyeliner that truly gave me away. A mixture of silver-space pigment and jet-black ink traced the edges of my eyes, lifting at the corners in dramatic, sweeping arcs that defied gravity itself. The inner corners were sharply spiked, giving my gaze an otherworldly intensity, almost feline in its sharpness.

My lips were painted a soft peach, the color warm against my skin. But it was the golden glitter that truly pulled the look together—dusting the tops of my cheekbones, bridge of my nose, and even a little above my brows. It wasn't just a highlight; it was a celestial glow, catching the light and reflecting it in tiny, shimmering specks as if I had bathed in the Milky Way itself.

I was a walking constellation, and I felt damn good about it.

Although, a twinge of sheepishness pulled at my confidence, quickly followed by a wave of disappointment in myself. I had done all of this because the Doctor had mentioned that this was a date of sorts. And it wasn't like I wore makeup often, so it was certainly going to be noticeable.

Wait... what if we're going somewhere on Earth?

We probably are. Well, fuck. Depending on the time period, if it's anytime before the 21st century, then I really should not be wearing makeup—at least not like this.

Sure, the Doctor never gave much caution to attire before, no matter what century we were in. Well, that's not exactly true. There have been times he encouraged us to change depending on where we were.

The longer I stood there, the more self-conscious I became. Was this too much? My hands instinctively went to my face, feeling the glitter that dusted my cheeks. I suddenly remembered that month River and I spent together on the TARDIS—just us two.

We had gone absolutely wild with our looks, experimenting with every shade, texture, and cosmic pigment in the TARDIS's collection. River had loved the drastic, dramatic styles—the bigger, the better. I remembered how hot she had looked with streaks of gold and crimson arching across her eyelids, lips painted black and glistening like obsidian.

Yeah... River had looked... really hot.

My face heated up, and I cleared my throat, quickly shaking my head as I came back to the present.

What am I even doing? I'm the Polaris Jade. THE POLARIS JADE. I don't have time for... for... what is this? Self-consciousness? Anxiety.

Yet, the knot in my stomach twisted. I hated how vulnerable I suddenly felt. What if the Doctor didn't like it? What if he laughed? Or worse—what if he was taking us somewhere that required me to wipe it all off? Somewhere that my face would stand out too much, and he'd give me that exasperated look of his and say, "Really, dearest? You couldn't have gone with something a little more... subtle?"

And I would need to roll my eyes at him and pretend as if I didn't feel so utterly stupid.

No. I did not want to go through that.

Before I could even fully process it, my legs were moving on their own, turning me away from the console room. I would just go wipe it all off, and that would be that. No one would be any the wiser.

Simple.

They still had not noticed me in the doorway, Amy and Rory enraptured in whatever tale the Doctor was spinning as he waltzed about the console. It was hard to think that this was the dork I had ridden into insanity in ours minds only a short while ago.

I had already spun around when the Doctor's voice rang out.

"PJ! There you are!"

I stopped dead in my tracks, my back still to him.

"I, uh... I forgot something! I'll be right back!" I stammered, willing my voice to sound normal, nonchalant.

Cool. I am Miss Cool!

"What could you have possibly forgotten?" He asked, his tone teasing as I heard him bounce away from the console. "You seem to have everything you typically do..."

I took a step forward, ready to bolt, but he was faster. In an instant, his hands were on my shoulders, and he gently guided me to turn around.

I tried to keep my face down, but the Doctor wouldn't have it. His fingers were warm and firm as he tipped my chin up, forcing me to look at him.

His eyes widened in surprise, lips parting just slightly as he took in my face. My heart dropped. There it was—he thought it was too much. Any second now, he was going to start laughing.

But he didn't. Instead, a wide, boyish grin spread across his face, his eyes lighting up with an almost childlike wonder. "Beautiful, my beautiful space girl..." He breathed, the words slipping out as if he hadn't meant to say it out loud. "I love that look. You're... brilliant, you know that?"

My mouth went dry, words failing me as he just kept staring, his face aglow with genuine admiration. He was beaming at me like I was the most magnificent thing he had ever seen.

And for the first time, anger surged through me. It's not fair.

Why could my lies just not be the truth? How nice of a life this would be. If I was just Cooper Haven Starre renamed PJ—the quirky little smart space human.

My chest tightened, and all my anxieties evaporated. I couldn't help the small, shy smile that crept onto my lips. "I, uh... yeah. I know." I tried to sound confident, but my voice was barely above a whisper.

The Doctor's grin widened. Then, with a playful tilt of his head, he knowingly asked, "So... what did you forget?"

My pride?

I blinked, my brain short-circuiting as his words registered. I nearly laughed. I couldn't even remember why I'd tried to leave in the first place. "Nothing," I said, shaking my head as he looped his arm through mine, guiding me up to the console platform. "Absolutely nothing."

What the fuck is wrong with me? Who the hell gets self-conscious and shy about something like that? Certainly not me—damn, I need to get a hold of myself.

We reached the console, and Amy's eyes widened as she took in my face, her jaw dropping comically. Rory's eyebrows shot up as he looked me over, clearly impressed.

Amy's shock quickly melted into a grin. "PJ... you look... awesome!"

I chuckled, feeling my confidence return. "Thanks!"

Amy tilted her head, her grin fading into a more thoughtful expression. "You... feeling better then? The Doctor fixed you up?"

I blinked, taken aback. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Rory rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, the last time we saw you, you were hiding under your bed."

Amy continued, arms crossed. "And before that, you were avoiding us for almost a week."

Ah. Right. That. I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly aware of the concerned looks they were giving me. "I'm fine," I said, waving a hand dismissively. "Really. The Doctor fixed me up nice and well! Just needed some time to... sort things out. You know how it is."

Amy's eyes softened, and before I could react, she threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "You had us worried, you know."

I stood there for a moment. But after a beat, I hugged her back, squeezing just a little tighter than necessary. "Sorry about that, Ames." I muttered into her shoulder as we rocked back and forth.

Amy pulled back, her eyes shimmering and face set into a pout. "Don't you dare do it again," She said in mock sternness.

I opened my mouth to retort but was cut off by Rory awkwardly patting me on the shoulder. "Uh... glad you're all good," He mumbled, clearly not sure what to do.

I laughed, shaking my head. "Oh, come here, dude, enough with these awkward pats and waves..." I said, pulling him into a hug. He stiffened at first, but then relaxed, hugging me back.

We pulled apart just as the Doctor popped up out of nowhere, his eyes wide and hopeful. "Do I get a hug too?"

I rolled my eyes, but a grin crept onto my face. "Seriously?"

We snuggled all night.

He beamed at me, arms already outstretched. "I'm always serious!"

I huffed but stepped into his embrace. He hugged me tightly, rocking us side to side as he hummed happily. I fought the urge to laugh, my chest feeling oddly light. "That's the biggest lie of the century," I muttered. "You're only serious like 19% of the time..."

The Doctor just grinned wider. "And you wouldn't have me any other way."

I pulled back, shaking my head. "Whatever, Space Lord. Don't get too full of yourself."

The Doctor's eyes sparkled with excitement as he released me and moved to the console, his fingers dancing over the controls. "Right, then! Everyone ready?"

Amy and Rory gave enthusiastic nods. I leaned against the railing, crossing my arms as I watched the Doctor bounce around the controls, his energy infectious.

"Where are we going?" I asked, unable to keep the curiosity from my voice.

The Doctor looked up at me, his face lighting up with that manic, impossibly bright smile of his. "Oh, you'll see, dearest. It's a surprise!"

The TARDIS shook—the sound of it materializing taking over as we landed somewhere. It was a speedy and smooth ride, especially knowing the rides the old girl sometimes takes her passengers on.

To be honest, I would do that too if I was a TARDIS. Keeps it fun, I'm sure.

"Alright—guesses, guesses—guesses galore!" The Doctor exclaimed, flapping his hands about. "Galore... galore..." He tested, elongating it. "Hmm, I quite like that word..." He laughed before clapping and pointing to all three of us. "So guesses galore hit me! Where are we? When are we?"

"The future?" Rory attempted and the Doctor laughed at him.

"What kinda creative detail is that, Rory? You can surely do better!" The Doctor said and Rory rolled his eyes at him.

"One of the planets that PJ used to bartend on?" Amy tried, waggling her brows.

"I hope the fuck not," I scoffed, crossing my arms and shaking my head. "Let's see, knowing you—it ought to be Earth... probably the past..." I said.

The Doctor smiled at all three of us, racing past us and motioning us to follow. "You're all wrong! Well, Rory is kinda right, but lack of creativity so minus points for that!" He exclaimed, dramatically gripping the handles of the doors before throwing them open.

Rory scoffed while shaking his head. "Yeah, whatever, man..."

The Doctor stepped out with his arms wide. "Behold!"

We followed him out, and I immediately stopped in my tracks, eyes going wide. Rory let out a low whistle, and Amy's mouth hung open as she took it all in.

We were standing in a lush glade, surrounded by rolling green hills that seemed to stretch endlessly, kissed by the soft golden light of a setting sun. Mist clung to the tops of the distant forests, swirling lazily above the canopy. Nearby, a waterfall cascaded over moss-covered rocks, its waters sparkling like liquid crystal as it pooled into a serene lake surrounded by wildflowers. The air was fresh, crisp, and tinged with the scent of blooming flora.

"It's... beautiful," Amy breathed, stepping forward, her eyes wide with wonder.

Rory looked around, his brows furrowing. "Are we on Earth?"

The Doctor grinned, rocking on his heels. "Nope!" He spun on his toes to face us. "We're on the planet Romulus! Year 2145." He clasped his hands together. "Isn't it brilliant?"

I hummed, taking another look at the idyllic scene. "It looks like medieval Earth... "

The Doctor's grin widened. "Exactly! Romulus is a planet that's technically in your future but looks like mid-Earth. The civilization here isn't the most technologically advanced yet. They're somewhere around Earth's medieval period in terms of culture and development. Much more peaceful and open-minded than you lot were though..." He pointed towards the distant hills. "Their cities are built into the sides of mountains, all stone and woodwork, absolutely stunning craftsmanship. Oh, and they have this fascinating form of art using flower petals. Quite poetic, really."

Amy looked intrigued. "Do they look like humans?"

"Mostly," The Doctor confirmed, wagging a finger. "But there are a few differences. Their eyes have this golden hue—more vibrant than any human's..." He trailed off thoughtfully before looking at me.

I quirked a confused brow. "And what's that look for?" I snarked.

"Mmm, nothing, your eyes are just impossibly vibrant, dear... so very blue..." The Doctor smirked and my heart dropped praying he was only flirting and did not think too deeply about it. Thankfully, he did just that and did not delve into it. "Oh, and they have pointed ears. Not like elves, mind you, more... subtle. And they're a bit shorter, on average."

I took a deep breath, the crisp air filling my lungs. I had never been here before. Hell, I had never even heard of this place. I grinned, turning to the Doctor. "I love it. It's perfect."

The Doctor's face lit up, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "You've never been here before?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Can't believe I missed this one."

He bounced, practically vibrating with energy. "Well, that makes two of us!"

My eyes widened. "Wait, this is your first time here too?"

The Doctor nodded, looking out at the landscape with a wistful smile. "Yep. Heard about it ages ago. Meant to visit a dozen different times but always got sidetracked. You know how it is—someone's always in trouble, or the TARDIS decides to take a detour. But today... today, she brought us right here." He patted the door affectionately. "Good girl."

Amy laughed. "I don't know what's crazier—the fact that we're finally somewhere you've never been or that you just called your spaceship a good girl..."

"Great choice," I said, looking around again, my heart feeling light. There was something almost magical about this place. It felt... peaceful. Free.

The Doctor smiled softly at me, his eyes warm. "Thought you might like it."

It was like a real life version of Lord of the Rings.

I looked at him, my chest tightening unexpectedly. I swallowed down the emotion, forcing myself to smirk. "Not bad, Doctor. Not bad at all."

He beamed, clapping his hands. "Right then! Shall we explore?"

Amy and Rory exchanged excited looks before nodding enthusiastically.

I took one last deep breath, letting the fresh air and breathtaking view fill me with energy. "Lead the way, Space Lord."

The Doctor shot me a playful wink before spinning around and marching forward, his voice drifting back to us. "Oh, I must tell you about their storytelling traditions—epic poems sung over campfires, accompanied by these harp-like instruments from what I've heard!"

I couldn't help but smile, following the Doctor with Amy and Rory by my side.

As we followed the Doctor through the glade, his voice bubbled with excitement as he rambled on about the planet's traditions, foods, and the poetic songs sung by the locals. But I could hardly focus on his words. Instead, my eyes were glued to him—his hair bouncing with each step, his arms flailing as he animatedly explained something about the harp-like instruments.

I smiled softly. The Doctor. The last of the Time Lords. The madman with a box.

A warmth spread through my chest as I thought about last night—the shared dreams.

We literally fucked each other's minds.

Yowzah.

I let out a quiet snicker, shaking my head at the absurdity of it. Only with him would something like that happen. Only with him could I feel so completely out of control and yet utterly safe.

I thought about how he was last night—raw, vulnerable, unfiltered. How his touch was more certain, more possessive. How his voice was lower, darker, with an edge of need that he never let slip while awake. In that dream, he wasn't the kooky, bouncing Doctor who hid behind goofy grins and manic energy. He was... real. So achingly real that my heart twisted just remembering it.

But then, here he was—also so real—skipping along, pointing at flowers and trees, his hands gesturing wildly as he went off on some tangent about the history of this planet's flora. And that bright, childlike grin on his face... God, I adored him.

My chest tightened painfully. I was falling in love with him.

No.

I was already in love with him.

The realization was like a knife twisting in my gut, sharp and unrelenting. It felt cruel to admit it, even to myself, because it couldn't change anything. It couldn't change the truth.

I tore my gaze from him, focusing on the lush, green grass beneath my feet, my heart sinking. I shouldn't be doing this. I couldn't afford to be falling for him, not when I was so close.

So close to the end. So close to doing the only worthwhile thing in my entire existence. Something that may just end my damned existence altogether.

This affection—this adoration I felt for him—threatened to destroy it all. It threatened to unravel everything I had worked so hard for, to mock all the sacrifices I had made to end the Space Jam.

I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms. I should have known better. I was the Polaris Jade, a weapon forged originally to save a universe, and turned into a destroyer born from darkness. A savior born from light to some. I had no right to feel this way. No right to want anything beyond my purpose.

What would the Doctor do if he knew the truth? If he knew how much danger I was putting him in just by being here? If he knew the risk I was taking just by allowing him to know me. Not just with his life, but with Amy's, Rory's... his friends... with his entire universe?

How selfish could I be?

How weak could I be to let this happen?

To let him in.

I was yanked out of my spiraling thoughts by the Doctor's voice, his tone shifting to one of excitement. "Now this is interesting!" He exclaimed, his eyes wide as he pointed ahead of us.

I looked up, my head tilting as a group of people emerged from the misty forest. They looked like hippies—draped in loose, flowing clothing made of vibrant fabrics that shimmered in the sunlight. They moved gracefully, swaying to a melody as they strummed harp-like instruments, their voices rising and falling.

Their faces were serene, smiles playing on their lips as they continued to sing slightly off-beat, their footsteps light as they danced across the glade.

The Doctor's entire face lit up, his eyes sparkling with that childlike wonder. He beamed, practically bouncing on his toes. Of course, he was thrilled—he loved meeting new people, especially when they were peaceful, simpler folk like this.

Without hesitation, he began striding toward them, his arms spread wide in his typical, overly enthusiastic greeting. "Hello there!" He called out, his voice bright and cheerful.

Amy and Rory exchanged amused glances, and I couldn't help but smile. That was the Doctor. The loving, kooky madman who welcomed everyone with open arms, no matter how strange or different they were.

Because like myself, like so many others in the strange multiverse, he was peculiar and quirky too.

The Doctor, despite what he may think—despite what he had done; he was hope personified. He was wonderful. He was beautiful. And he was breaking my soul.