𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧
𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬
𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲
𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟔

from the eyes of
— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐉𝐀𝐃𝐄 —

I stood outside the bar with only Zachary—both of us sharing a cigarette.

"I really shouldn't be smoking while Cindy's pregnant," Zachary had explained. "Since she can't smoke and all..."

It was the 80s, everyone smoked during this time. Not quite as bad as the 50s or 60s, but much worse than the 2010s and beyond. Then again, this was still about 20 years before electrical smoking becomes a thing. And 100 years before holographic smoking takes the Earth by storm.

We were all sitting at a table at the local bar. Cindy, Billy, Tiffany, Zachary, myself, the Doctor, Amy, and Rory sat in a large booth—all catching up and explaining the last 24 hours.

As it would turn out, it's only been about five hours for the Doctor, Amy, and Rory since I had fallen out of the TARDIS. It'd been just over 25 hours, at this point, for me.

Thankfully, Zachary, Billy, nor Tiffany had mentioned anything about our time that would give the Doctor even more suspicions.

Although, Billy had not mentioned it because I legitimately think he forgot—the poor guy had a scrambled brain, in general, and it was even worse after what he'd been through.

Tiffany did not mention anything because she's a nice little girl who was doing what I asked her to.

And Zachary—well, Zachary is just a real one.

It hurt to sit there knowing Isaiah and Ellery were gone, but I will admit that I had gotten much closer to Isaiah than to Ellery. His absence hurt a lot worse.

Nevertheless, it was really affecting Zachary to be missing both of his deputies. I could not even imagine how he was feeling.

Some other cop, Richard—I think his name is, remained back at the station with the other survivors. The town was slowly coming to terms with what happened, and many of the townsfolk were outside cleaning up the mess.

The monster had been impacting people's minds, it's why the town had snapped into insanity so suddenly. However, when I killed it, the effect was immediate; the people of the town got their sanity back, and the chaos stopped.

Amy had gone on for a good five minutes about how she was in disbelief of everyone in town possessing a fucking gun. I could not stop myself from snickering at that statement. This is motherfucking 'Merica—Kentucky, at that. In the 80s.

If everyone in this little Appalachian town wasn't armed, that would be the biggest shock of my life.

The Doctor had scoffed at those words but said nothing only shaking his head in a disappointed manner.

The message was clear; however: this is why Great Britain is his favorite.

The bartender of the place, who also happened to be the owner, was kind enough to bring out many appetizers for all of us to share. Zachary and I were the only ones who did not have the stomach to dig in as everyone else did.

The Doctor noticed and forced a fry in my mouth, but that was about the extent he got in getting me to eat.

Trust that I love food more than most, but sitting here—after that entire situation—I just could not bring myself to eat.

I had been to the Below before. Well, that is not exactly right—I should not say the Below. Because the foam between realities is huge and ever-changing, each part of it is different. Some parts are more peaceful than others, most parts had nothing in them at all.

This was my first time visiting such a horrifying part of it. Usually, during the brief times I had been in it—I was in the parts with nothing. And I also had my full force of POLARIS JADE.

I tried to ignore the continuous worried glances I got from the Doctor. He tried to ask me about the riddle I gifted him, but he soon realized that I was going to remain tight-lipped on the matter when he asked me for the third time and the only response he got was his right eye being poked.

Tiffany, of course, had sat herself directly between the Doctor and me—chatting with us every opportunity she got. She spoke about anything and everything.

There were many times I caught the Doctor listening and nodding along with a soft smile. Other times, he listened to her with a faraway look in his eye, no doubt thinking about his own children.

I did not know the nitty details about the Doctor nor his history—I knew what I had knew from word of mouth and what I had been able to dig up myself. I had no clue how many children he had nor who his partner had been.

All I knew was that he once had a family, as the rumors go, and now he doesn't. Hell, his entire species is gone.

Story of the life of most immortal beings.

I wondered if the Doctor had been a good father in his time. I would assume that he was, just considering who is now—but then again, just because someone is a good person does not necessarily make them a great parent.

Parenting is hard—immensely difficult to get right, in fact, no one will get it right. But the important thing is to just try and love your kid more than the stars themselves.

That is what I would assume, at least, I am certainly no mother myself—so what would I know?

Somehow, Tiffany brought up the point—oh yeah, Tiffany asked her mother if she would buy her a brown-haired Ken to go with her brown-haired Barbie—about me being Space Barbie and the Doctor being Space Ken.

Amy had died along with Rory when they heard that: and the Doctor looked as though someone had slapped him in the face. I highly doubted anyone had ever compared him to Ken before.

It was at that moment that Zachary thankfully pulled me away, inviting me to chat outside. The Doctor and Cindy both watch us go with worry in their gazes, but they allow us to have our time. Especially because Tiffany was quick to get their attention as she started spouting some outlandish comments to the Doctor, Amy, and Rory that had Cindy gasping and scolding her.

"I'm really sorry about Isaiah," I said after a puff of smoke, looking over my shoulder to make sure the Doctor didn't catch me smoking.

Even knowing that he poses no real control over my choices—the Doctor still gets weird about things like this. Most likely because he thinks I am human and doesn't want me to compromise the already little time that he thinks I have.

Zachary took the cigarette from me, his eyes downcast as he shrugged and took his own puff. "It ain't your fault—I already know you did everything you could..." He explained. "I wanted to thank you because if it weren't for you..." He paused to keep himself composed. "If it weren't for you a lot more of us would be dead—all of us probably. My daughter, Cindy, Billy, and those other survivors. None of us would be here if it weren't for you..."

"Please don't thank me..." I choked out, guilt eating away at me. "I really don't deserve it—it was nothing..." I breathed, trying to refrain from thinking about all the reasons this man should not be thanking me.

If he had any idea of who I really am then he would be staring at me in disgust and fear, no doubt. I accepted long ago that I am the bad guy.

Zachary stared at me for a long and hard moment. I did not meet his gaze, kicking my dirty boots on the rocky ground. Finally, he looked away and took another breath of the nicotine smoke before handing it back to me.

I quickly brought it to my lips finding that the cancerous smoke relaxed me.

Zachary and I both watched the glow of the cigarette burn down. Then, without preamble, he said, "Y'know, the spaceman in there is in love with you."

So I yet again need to face the Doctor's potential love.

I scoffed, flicking ash onto the ground. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," He said, tilting his head as he studied me. "And I think if you're not in love with him, then you're driving on the road toward it. What are you? A few miles away?"

I shrugged, playing nonchalant. "It's complicated—we're time travelers. Love isn't exactly a good thing to have in the cards for people like us."

Zachary wasn't buying it. "And why's that?"

I took a long drag before answering, letting the smoke sting my lungs before releasing it into the night. "It's dangerous."

So, so dangerous...

"Ain't it always?" Zachary countered, glancing through the bar's window where Cindy was laughing with Billy, Amy, Rory, and his daughter. "But most typically find that it's worth the risk."

I followed his gaze, watching the warm glow of the bar lights flicker against the Doctor's face. He wasn't focused on the others, though. His attention was fixed on me and Zachary, eyes narrowed slightly in the way he got when he was trying to figure something out.

He was probably still trying to figure out the riddle I gave him. I was not worried—even for someone as brilliant as him, it would take him a very long time—if ever—to work it out.

When his gaze dropped to the cigarette in my hand, his brows shot up.

I smirked and gave him a little shrug, holding the cigarette up like a challenge. He rolled his big green eyes but did nothing other than shake his head and turn back to whatever Amy was saying.

"He's protective over you," Zachary noted, still watching the Doctor watch me.

"He's protective over everyone."

"In the same way he is over you?" He pressed.

I hesitated, then gave a weak shrug. "Give or take."

Zachary chuckled. "Give or take." He took the cigarette back from me, inhaling deeply before tapping the ash onto the ground. "You're hiding stuff from him."

I shot him a look. "Everyone has secrets."

"Y'all both seem like you have a mountain of 'em—trying to hide from the world?"

I huffed a laugh. "Try protecting it. I'm protecting him, too. It's better this way."

"What? For him to only know as much about you as you let him see?"

I sighed. "Yeah. And just so you know, the Doctor isn't much different..."

Zachary exhaled slowly, his expression unreadable. "When I told that man what had happened—I don't think I've ever seen a more terrified look on anyone's face. Apart from my own when my wife called me last week saying Tiffany didn't come home from school."

My fingers tightened slightly around the cigarette as he continued.

"I already know some of the stuff I seen while I was out there with you, it's clear the Doctor don't know about it. And I won't say anything—it's not my place. But you should think about letting him in. I think you might be surprised by what you find."

I didn't respond, just stared at the dying embers of the cigarette as he flicked it to the ground and stomped it out.

"Anyhow," Zachary said, pushing off the wall with a stretch. "No matter what, I do hope the best for you both. You seem like a good fit for each other... Appalachian woman and British-Alien man. Ha, who would've thought."

I snorted, shaking my head. "I am not Appalachian, and the Doctor isn't British. Technically."

Zachary raised an eyebrow. "Technically, you are an Appalachian woman, and the Doctor is British. He said it himself, he frequents Great Britain."

I waved a dismissive hand. "He's just a weirdo that likes fish fingers and custard."

Zachary grimaced. "Yikes. Maybe you should rethink your love."

I laughed, a real laugh this time, but before I could reply, the door to the bar swung open with a loud thunk.

Tiffany came bounding out, grinning like she had just won some ridiculous bet. "Hey! What are y'all doing out here?"

Cindy, Billy, Amy, Rory, and the Doctor followed closely behind, the latter slipping his hands into his trouser pockets as he gave me another knowing look. I knew he wasn't done poking me with questions—not by a long shot.

I shot Zachary a glance before pushing off the wall myself. "Just talking."

"Yeah?" Tiffany smiled. "About all your adventures?"

"Don't you know it," I smirked and ruffled her hair.

"I was telling Cooper here," Zachary started motioning to me and catching everyone's attention. It did not go unnoticed that he, Billy, and Tiffany called me Cooper as that is what I had introduced myself to them as properly. "...That while I understand she travels with you in your ship, Doctor," His gaze momentarily flickered toward the Doctor's curious ones. "That you always have a place in Wallins Creek—I would definitely hire you onto our police force, you've more than earned it." Zachary finished.

His words surprisingly touched me, but more than anything I was amused. I snorted but gave him an appreciative smile all the same.

"Me? A cop?" I mused. "Oh—I would be fired within a week..."

"Try a day," The Doctor said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. "Plus, you already have a career as my intern." He joked.

My nose scrunched and I was left startled by the affectionate kiss he placed on the side of my head. It was not unwelcome, just unexpected.

"I'd already call it a career," I joked back.

Rory shrugged. "Eh, I bet you would last a few years..." He said, and I threw him a smile.

"Well, thank you, Rory," I told him.

Amy shook her head. "No, he doesn't know what he's talking about—I'm with the Doctor on this one. You'd be in and out within the day, love," She clicked her tongue playfully at the end.

"Amy—you," I pointed at her and snapped my fingers. "Don't know what you're talking about..."

"Oi!" She called back.

Slowly, with small bouts of chatter between us all—we made our way to the TARDIS. She sat in all her glory, big and blue and perched near the edge of the sidewalk.

"Wow—you guys are already police officers!" Tiffany cheered while reading the signs.

I snorted while the Doctor looked embarrassed.

"So much for analyzing her surroundings and determining which outershell would blend in best with the environment..." I teased while nudging against the Doctor who was still walking with his arm slung around my shoulder. I did not bother moving it, as I hated to admit it, but he was providing much needed comfort. "...Poor girl with a pilot who doesn't know how to fix the fault..."

"Oi," He whispered back and flicked my forehead causing my nose to scrunch angrily. "She's fine—she likes being a police telephone box!"

"And how do you know that?" I snarked right back, voice a whisper.

"Be-because she told me!" He stammered, voice going high-pitched.

"Oh, did she?" I asked in disbelief.

"Stop arguing you two—it's time for goodbyes," Amy piped, putting her head right in between the Doctor and I causing us to separate.

The Doctor held up a finger. "More like; see you later, I don't do goodbyes..." He said cheekily while fixing his bow tie.

"Tomorrow then?" Tiffany suddenly asked with wide eyes, leaping toward the Doctor.

He caught her in his grasp and spun her around. "It'll be longer than that," He laughed, holding her tightly and bopping her nose. "But never goodbye!"

Tiffany hugged him tightly and he hugged her back while rocking them.

Nemo, who had been following us like the good dog he is, was sitting by Zachary's legs.

I turned, addressing Billy. "So where you heading to now? Still planning on heading to New York?"

Billy chuckled and wiped at his nose. "Fucckkk that, mann—this side of the country is creepy as hell. I'm never leaving the West Coast again..." He shook his head and I laughed. "Fuck the East Coast!"

"What?" I was shaking my head but there was a grin on my face. "Is this even considered the East Coast?" I mused.

"Nah, I'm being dead for real! You will never catch anywhere but Cali, Hawaii, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico or Nevada..." He sighed.

"What about the rest of the states?"

"Fuck em', this was the only road trip—or trip, in general—I need for the rest of my life..." He shook his head firmly. "Sheriff is letting me rest up at his place for the next few days and then he's going to drive me up to the airport so I can catch the first flight outta here...!"

The Doctor was sharing a bemused look with Amy and Rory—Amy doing her best not to snicker at Billy's colorful way of explaining things.

I placed a hand on Billy's shoulder. "You say that now, but give it a few years and I am sure you'll be changing your mind," I told him before pulling him into a quick hug. "Stay safe, stoner guy,"

"Will do," He replied before throwing me the hang loose sign with his fingers.

I turned to Cindy, who stood with her hands folded over her round stomach, a soft smile playing on her lips.

Before I could say anything, she stepped forward, reaching out and taking my hands in hers. Her grip was warm, grounding. "Thank you," She said, her voice thick with emotion. "For everything. For saving my daughter. For saving all of us. I'm sure it don't mean much to big space-time travelers like y'all, but I'll always be in your debt..."

A lump formed in my throat, and I tried to ignore it. I wasn't good at this—at people thanking me. I hadn't saved them because I was good or noble. I had done it because it needed to be done. Because I could. That was all.

"Just did what anyone would've done," I mumbled, glancing down at our joined hands.

Cindy chuckled, shaking her head. "No," She said knowingly, "I don't think just anyone could've done what you did."

I opened my mouth to argue, to deflect, but she was already turning to Zachary, who had his arms crossed over his chest, his expression unreadable.

"We were talking," Cindy continued, sharing a glance with him. "And, well... we really do like the name Cooper."

My heart stopped.

I must've misheard.

I looked between the two of them, the words taking a moment too long to register. "What?"

Zachary smirked slightly, tilting his head at me. "Yeah, we were thinking about it. If the baby's a boy, we might just have to name him that. Or a girl... but you'll need to fight Cindy's mother for the name..."

Oh.

Oh, no.

A wave of nausea crashed into me so fast it nearly knocked me off balance.

They had no idea. No idea who I really was, what I really was. They thought I was someone worth naming a child after. A legacy worth preserving. It made me sick to my stomach.

I had to play this off. Had to keep my face neutral.

"That's—" My voice cracked. I swallowed hard and forced a tight laugh. "That's really... sweet."

Too tight. My smile was too tight.

Cindy beamed, clearly oblivious to the way my shoulders had stiffened. "We just thought it fit," She said warmly.

I nodded, pretending to take it in stride, pretending that my insides weren't twisting themselves into knots.

Zachary stepped forward next, his boots scuffing against the pavement as he gave me a long, unreadable look. Then, without warning, he pulled me into a firm, warm hug.

I stiffened for half a second before allowing myself to relax against him.

When he pulled back, his hands settled on my shoulders, anchoring me in place. His eyes, sharp and unwavering, locked onto mine. "I meant what I said," He told me, his voice low and steady. "You always have a place here. If you ever need it."

Something heavy settled in my chest.

I didn't deserve that kind of kindness.

But I nodded anyway. "I'll remember that."

Zachary gave a firm, approving nod before releasing me.

I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and threw him a cheeky salute. "Take care of yourself, Sheriff."

Then, I turned to Tiffany who was out of the Doctor's grasp and standing next to me.

She was staring up at me with wide eyes, her lower lip wobbling dangerously. "You're really leaving?"

I crouched down so we were eye level, resting my arms on my knees. "Yeah, kid," I said gently. "But you know me—know us—" I motioned to the Doctor who was saying final words to Cindy and the Sheriff. "Never in one place for too long."

Tiffany's face crumpled. Before I could say another word, she launched herself at me, throwing her arms around my neck. I caught her easily, hugging her tight.

"Will we ever see each other again?" She whispered into my shoulder.

I hesitated.

Lying would've been easy. Telling her 'of course' or 'definitely' would've been kind. But I didn't want to lie to her. Not to Tiffany.

So I told her the truth.

"Maybe one day," I murmured, pulling back enough to ruffle her hair. "You never know." She sniffled, rubbing at her nose with her sleeve. I smiled at her. "Take good care of Nemo for me, yeah?"

At that, the dog—who had been sitting obediently by Zachary's feet—suddenly lunged forward, barreling into me with enough force to nearly knock me over.

I grunted as I caught him, laughing as he immediately started wriggling against me, his tail wagging furiously.

"Alright, alright—" I wrapped my arms around his thick fur, giving him a solid squeeze. "Bye, furball."

Nemo responded by licking a long, wet stripe up my face.

I sputtered, shoving his face away. "Ugh!" But I still continued to pet him happily.

Laughter erupted around us.

The Doctor bent down, scratching behind Nemo's ears. "Be a good boy, yeah?" He said, grinning as the dog immediately rewarded him with a slobbery lick across the cheek as well. The Doctor reeled back, laughing as he wiped his face with his sleeve.

And then, just like that, the moment was over.

The goodbye settled between us, thick and inevitable.

I exhaled slowly, straightening up.

One last look. One last wave.

Amy moved to go inside first followed by the Doctor.

And then I turned, stepping into the TARDIS right behind Rory. The door shut behind me with a final, echoing click.

But that was life, wasn't it? One long, complicated mess that you just had to keep moving through, one step at a time.

The TARDIS greeted us all warmly as we entered—her telepathic nature seeming even stronger as she wrapped around me almost comfortingly. The Doctor was quick to hop up the console steps—rambling about how Kentucky makes him want to go to some planet made entirely of cornfields.

I'd never heard of it, but apparently, it had the best corn in the universe.

"Corn? Doctor, please," Rory groaned while falling into the jump seat. "That sounds terrible."

"No way, corn is great!" The Doctor defended, flapping his hands about. "I think?"

"Yeah—no corn, Doctor. Let's do..." Amy trailed off thoughtfully, stepping up next to the Doctor. "Or maybe the future? No, we do the future a lot, what about the past?"

The Doctor turned to Amy playfully. "What about the past, Pond?" He joked before nudging his head in my direction. "Oi, dearest, come over here and help me pilot. I'll be helping you this time, and the TARDIS shouldn't freak out again... hopefully..."

My heart raced against my own accord. I am way good on piloting for now. I don't even want to graze her paneling.

As though sensing my thoughts—the TARDIS seemed to sadly push against my mind. I ignored it.

"I would like to shower and sleep, you guys do whatever though!" I called while speed-walking toward the corridors. "It's been over a day for me, remember!"

"Oh—okay, well we can all break then, how about I join—?" I heard the Doctor start to suggest, but I whirled around with a big fake smile.

"Oh no! Please, it's only been a few hours for you guys, don't stop on my accord! I need time to myself after all that anyway!" I said in fake cheerfulness. "I'll see you all later, have fun!" I said quickly before practically booking it toward my room.

I vaguely heard the Doctor mutter; "Oh, okay," in a dejected manner. Guilt ate at me, but I would feel even worse if I was the reason for keeping him holed up in my room with me while I slept.

Because doing that would also be keeping Amy and Rory from exploring. Besides, I really could use some time to myself.

When I got to my room, I locked the door tightly. It was the second time I had bothered to lock my door the entire time I had been on the TARDIS, the first time being when I tried taking off the corset that had burnt into my skin by myself.

I knew that locking the door would not keep the Doctor out if really wanted inside. Either the TARDIS would unlock the door for him or he would sonic his way in, but he would only do that in an emergency.

The guy wouldn't force his way in against my will unless there was a true reason for it.

Unsurprisingly, the room was exactly as I had left it. My rocket boots sat discarded and crossed over each other at the foot of my bed—the Vortex Manipulator laying on its side on my messy desk. And my bag—where the hell is my backpack?

My racing heart slowed as I caught sight of it sitting in the exact place I had left it. Slung in the corner on its side.

I surged forward, crashing against the wall in my haste to get to my backpack. Grabbing it, I hugged the bag tightly to my chest and leaned back on the wall as I fell to my butt. The anxiety that had been hitting an all-time high was calming as I desperately clung to my bag.

The bag looked like it was barely carrying anything, but it was carrying everything. Seven out of nine Arbiters in all of existence... and the most important thing of all—all my power. The majority of my soul, pure aureum and tenebris swirled as a cosmic force: the cosmic force of the POLARIS JADE.

Created in an alternate universe in an alternate timeline by humanity in its darkest hour and forged inside of me. It was me—the part of my soul that I had never wanted to separate but had to for my own success.

Tears welled in my eyes.

I felt so weak, so powerless without it. It had been almost a century without it inside of me now, a long century that seemed to go on forever.

I wanted nothing more than to open this bag and merge with it. But doing such a thing would cause a ripple through space and time and the multiverse—it would make me noticeable. And to be successful, to bring upon the greater good, I had to remain obscure. I had to remain little and weak.

I can't ever leave this bag behind again, what was I thinking?

I rocked myself, holding the bag tightly and finding solace in being physically close to it. To my own force of powers—the only remainder of my long-dead universe. I could feel the other half of me reach out from inside the bag, from inside its own pocket universe, stroking my fears away.

For the greater good.

As though saying we were almost there. The final stretch and then it will all be over and I will be free.

We will all be free. The people will be free.