𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐬
𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐱

from the eyes of
— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐉𝐀𝐃𝐄 —

"Oh... holy crap, oh my gosh..." I whimpered when I woke up, my entire body number and teeth chattering. "Fucking hell, I can't feel my toes..." I spat angrily, surprised when a blanket was tossed over my being and I was yanked into a standing position.

The Doctor greeted me with a chaste kiss on my forehead. "Hello, dearest, where are you in Leadworth? I'm still waiting for you..." He murmured against my head. "It's the old people—the old people are immensely dangerous aliens who can turn you to ash, learned that the hard way, but we really shouldn't be split up..."

"Uhm..." I answered, having trouble remembering exactly where I had been when I fell asleep.

"Okay..." The Doctor pulled away with a clap, changing the subject. "The four of us need to agree on which is the dream, now..." He ordered sharply. "It's too dangerous to keep switching back and forth like this..."

Rory was the first to answer, clutching a blanket to him tightly. "It's this one here, this is the dream."

Amy nodded. "He could be right—the science seems all wrong here. Burning ice?"

The Doctor snapped his fingers at her. "Ice can burn, albeit a cold star is rare, but it's possible. It's a very big universe, we need to agree on which battle to lose and now—there isn't enough time to keep dawdling!"

I could not stop the snort that left me. "Ha—dawdling..."

The Doctor shook his head in an exasperated manner. "How old are you again, dear? Really not the time..."

"Which world do you think is real, Doctor?" Amy countered. "PJ?"

"This one..." We both answered in sync.

I rolled my eyes as the Doctor grinned at me. For some reason, he loves speaking in sync—he needs a twin or something.

"No, the other one!" Rory argued fruitlessly.

I groaned and the Doctor turned to him. "Yeah, but are we actually disagreeing or just competing?" The Doctor huffed.

"Competing?" Amy asked cluelessly. "Over what?"

Both the Doctor and Rory turned to look at Amy with 'seriously' look. I pursed my lips.

They were competing over Amy like idiots. Well, in a nutshell, Rory started competing and the Doctor—never able to back down from a challenge—decided to play. Rory was competing for Amy's love and affection as was the Doctor.

The problem is that they were competing for two completely different forms of love from Amy. Rory wanted her hand in marriage and the Doctor only wanted her friendship.

Like I noticed before: the one thing that the Doctor is selfish with is his companions. He doesn't like to share.

When you are a companion of the Doctor you become a center of his world, something cherished by him. And he wants the same in return. Not that he'd ever admit it.

I wondered how long it would take for Rory to truly realize the Doctor was only after Amy as a companion: how long it would take the three to fall into a groove. Because the truth was that if Rory became a companion then the Doctor would love him dearly as well.

The Doctor suddenly checked his wristwatch, eyes widening at what he saw. "Nine minutes till impact!"

"Eight minutes till we freeze to death then!" I piped and the Doctor nodded, tapping me on the head affectionately as he passed me by.

"Yes, clever intern! Good job!" He complimented through a coo.

"Christ, what temperature is it?" Amy asked, her teeth chattering.

The Doctor was quick to spin around and face her. "Outside? Brrrr... cold enough to turn you to ice within milliseconds..." He told her. "Inside? I don't know, but I can't feel my feet... and other parts..."

He meant his balls—the Doctor can't feel his balls. My nose scrunched and I bit back laughter, the Doctor only sending me a silly grin when he noticed.

Rory; however, had something else to say. "All my parts are fine..." It was a small dig, but a dig nonetheless.

I bit back a mean snort, desperately biting my lip to stop the chuckle. It was just so out of pocket that like... how can I not laugh? I am also genuinely curious as to who had the bigger cock seeing as the two men were all but having a dick-swinging contest at this point.

The Doctor scowled, choosing to take the higher road. "Stop competing...!" He scolded, not unlike a teacher.

"Oh, my fucking nipples...!" I cried loudly, my nipples were hardened and painfully erect from the cold.

I had no care for how inappropriate the comment was to say out loud. However, when I received no response, I looked to the Doctor and Rory only to see both of them staring at my ladies. To be fair, the blanket and jacket were only over my shoulders, not concealing the tight T-shirt over my breasts.

And... the sports bra wasn't doing shit.

Idiotic fucking men.

As if sensing my thoughts and seeing the appalled look on my face, the Doctor snapped out of it and ripped his gaze away from my chest with a bright flush. His face burned brighter when he saw he'd been caught red-handed.

To my surprise, he grabbed Rory's chin and forced him to look at Amy who was staring at them both with a disappointed and unimpressed look.

"Don't look at my—" The Doctor cut himself off before hastily correcting whatever he was about to say. "Don't look at my intern!" He scoffed and Rory rolled his eyes at the alien.

"Oi, you were doing it too, mate!" Rory defended.

"And? She's my intern!" The Doctor answered, saying the word my with an edge.

Rory was quick to change the subject, throwing me a semi-apologetic look before picking up the console phone. "Can't we call for help?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes and took the phone from Rory's grasp. "Yeah, because the universe is really small and there's bound to be someone nearby." He said sarcastically before bopping Rory gently on the head with the landline and putting it back.

The Doctor unintentionally lil bro'd Rory yet again. No wonder Rory was so sour.

"I still can't believe you use a fucking landline..." I scoffed a snicker.

The Doctor glared at me and stuck out his tongue. "Peanut gallery!"

"With nice tits?" I snidely asked causing the Doctor to avert his gaze, face red.

"Put these on—all three of you!" Amy suddenly called, throwing three blankets she had managed to turn into ponchos at the speed of light at all of us.

"Oh, a poncho," Rory exclaimed but happily put it on. "The biggest crime against fashion since lederhosen."

I easily caught the blue checkered fuzzy blanket she threw at me. Tossing it over my head, I shoved my head through the slit—it certainly made it easier to move around in. It warmed me up just slightly, but considering the temperature kept dropping, it could only do so much.

"What if we move further into the TARDIS, surely it'll be warmer near her heart?" I whispered, mostly to myself.

I was surprised when the Doctor answered, his lips right by my ear and his body directly behind mine. My back touched his front—our closeness providing a new wave of heat that felt wonderful.

There was no stopping me from turning around and nuzzling close to him, humming as he wrapped his arms around me and we basked in each other's heat. A sigh of relief escaped me as I leaned in closer, head firmly against his chest. He curled himself around me tightly, his head resting against my own in a motion of peace.

"We can't, while it would be a temporary fix—the cold will eventually get there too. And then at that point, it'll be too cold to travel back to the console room... it'd only drag out our deaths..." He finally told me, voice a caressed whisper against my ear.

I groaned. "I'm envisioning my warm bed... perhaps I'll take you up on that offer to cuddle now?"

"Of course, you would choose now to take that offer..." The Doctor joked right back. "And we'll watch the second Hobbit movie too..."

My eyebrows furrowed. "We watched the first..." I remembered, mind hazy as I desperately tried to think about it. "When did we watch the first, Doctor?" I asked him, tilting my head up and meeting his eyes with my own.

His own brows furrowed, eyes moving as he tried to remember himself.

"Doctor, the Hobbit—the end credit theme, this whole time it's been..." I started and he spoke with me, both of us speaking the last part of my sentence in unison. "Stuck in my head..."

It was stuck in his head too?

We held eye contact, both of us searching the other's eyes for answers. We knew we had watched the first Hobbit, but we were both having trouble remembering when exactly. And the theme is stuck in both of our heads.

What if... what if we're still technically watching the movie?

The same thought seemed to pass over the Doctor, his eyes momentarily lighting up along with mine. Sure, the Doctor was holding me right now, but it was still freezing.

However... if I put enough energy and focus into it—I swear that I wasn't cold.

I swear that I could feel myself warm and bundled up... I swear I could feel a warm arm wrapped around my waist and an even warmer breath against my ear.

Snoring... I heard the Hobbit theme still, but I also heard deep comforting snores and felt rumbling... what the hell?

"Do you feel that—?" My question to the Doctor was cut off by Amy, the redhead stealing both of our attention.

"Alright!" Amy said, doing a spin. "If we're going to die then let's die looking like a Peruvian folk band!" With that, she and Rory stepped to the Doctor's side.

She stood on the other side of the Doctor while Rory stood next to her, him still holding me close on his other side.

"Time is running out, if we fall asleep here then we are in major trouble, the temperature is only going to continue dropping and we'll also be asleep which will make us colder..." The Doctor rambled, moving away from us and pacing. I frowned as he released me to pace, finding that it was much colder without him. "If we could divide up then we'd have an active presence in each world, but the DreamLord is switching us between worlds. Why? What is the logic with that?" He asked out loud.

With his last sentence, the DreamLord appeared by the Doctor's side and mockingly paced along with him.

"Good idea, veggie. Let's divide you four up... I'll keep Amy and of course, PJ, not that she has much of a choice anymore..." The DreamLord chuckled at the end and I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Maybe I'll keep Amy forever too and you can have pointy-nose for the rest of eternity, should you manage to clamber aboard some sort of reality..."

The Doctor froze mid-step, his hand twitching at his side. His wide eyes fixed on the DreamLord, his voice sharp and brittle. "You said you'd keep Amy forever too," he repeated, almost stumbling over the words. "Why would you imply that? Why does PJ have no choice but to stay here?"

My heart dropped into my stomach. My ears rang, drowning out the DreamLord's smirk-laden reply. It was like my mind had grabbed onto a thread, pulling memories out of the fog—memories I had been too panicked to fully process until now.

The sword in my hand. The old people closing in. The frantic fight, each swing of the blade sending panic and adrenaline surging through my veins. And then the birdsong. That soft, mocking birdsong, like a lullaby for the doomed. The last thing I remembered was the faint, sharp sting in my chest and darkness swallowing me whole.

Lady Nightmare's voice hummed to me, singing in my last moments—so horrifyingly sounding like my mother. Like how my mother used to sing me to sleep. But it was no song that Mother used to sing.

"Well, what is this that I can't see... with ice-cold hands takin' hold of me... O Death... O Death..." Lady had sung. "Goodnight, Cooper... looks like you finally got out of Leadworth..."

"Oh my God..." The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them, my voice small and trembling. My knees wobbled, and I reached out blindly for the wall to steady myself. My chest heaved, my breaths shallow and quick as the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place. "Oh my God..."

The Doctor's gaze whipped to me, his brows knitting in concern. "PJ, what happened?" He demanded, his voice rising. "What happened in Leadworth?"

I swallowed hard, my throat dry as sandpaper. "I..." My voice cracked, and I shook my head, trying to force the words out. "I was fighting them. The old people. I was fighting them, and I..." My eyes widened as the memory hit me like a freight train. "The birds... I passed out. I—I think they turned me to ash."

"What?!" Amy gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. Rory stared at me, horrified, as though he couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

The Doctor stepped toward me, his voice shaking. "No. No, no, no, no!" His hands gripped my shoulders tightly, his eyes burning with desperation. "You're not dead. You can't be! You're here! You're standing right in front of me! This must mean this is reality!" His grip tightened, almost to the point of pain.

"I don't know!" I choked, tears spilling over as I trembled in his hold. "I don't know, Doctor! I just remember—birds chirping. I passed out, and everything went black! I think—I think I died there." My voice broke on the last word, the weight of it crushing me. "So what? This is reality then, we know now?"

The DreamLord clapped slowly, his voice dripping with mockery. "Don't get too excited yet, kids. Maybe she's dead, maybe she's not. Maybe she's just... here now. This could be reality... or I plucked her consciousness from reality at the time of her death and planted it into this dream world. So she can be with me. Forever."

Amy let out a horrified noise, clutching Rory as her face crumpled. Rory's mouth worked silently as if he were trying to find the words to say but couldn't.

The Doctor's fury erupted.

"No!" He bellowed, stepping away from me and rounding on the DreamLord. "You do not get to take her! You do not get to play these games with us!" His voice was thunderous, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white. "If you've hurt her—if you've taken her—" He advanced on the DreamLord, his whole body shaking with rage. "I'll rip you apart with my bare hands!"

The DreamLord smirked, unfazed. "Oh, Doctor, such theatrics. It's almost as if you love her or something."

The Doctor lunged, grabbing the DreamLord by the lapels of his coat. "Tell me what you've done!" His voice cracked, raw with fury. "Tell me how to fix this, or I swear, I'll—"

A soft chorus of birdsong filled the air. It was so out of place, so cheerful in the face of everything happening, that it almost felt mocking. The Doctor froze, his grip loosening as his head turned toward the sound. His breathing hitched, and he staggered, his body swaying.

"No," The Doctor murmured, his voice trembling. He looked at me and Amy, his eyes wide and filled with unspoken promises. "You both... don't be scared," he whispered, his words slurring as his knees buckled. "We'll be back." His gaze locked on mine, fierce and determined even as his body betrayed him. "You especially, love—don't be scared. I will fix this, love. I am not losing you. I swear it."

And then he crumpled into my arms, his weight nearly sending me to the floor. "Doctor!" I cried out, clutching him desperately as his head lolled against my shoulder. Panic clawed at my chest.

Why did I feel so weak? So much more emotional than usual? Like a part of myself—the strongest parts of myself were missing.

The fog was there, it was making it hard to think.

The answer was obvious: Lady Nightmare was a part of me. The part that was missing—she was the real POLARIS JADE. Or at least, the dark and strong part of POLARIS JADE. And I was just Cooper, pathetic little Cooper. The weakest part of THE POLARIS JADE.

Amy caught Rory as he collapsed beside her, their blanket ponchos tangling around them. She looked at me, her face pale and terrified.

"PJ, what do we do?" She whispered, her voice shaking. "You can't be dead... I—I...I won't, I can't let that happen either..."

I didn't have an answer. All I had was the weight of the Doctor in my arms and the overwhelming knowledge that time was running out. I gently placed him on the ground.

To my own anger, I could not stop myself from leaning forward and placing an easy kiss on his head. Stroking his cheek, I stood up.

This isn't real‚ I can't die.

My panic subsided.

"It'll be fine, Amy, I promise," I reassured my friend, going over and taking her hands in mine.

The darkness of the TARDIS did not help, and to my annoyance, I noticed the ice starting to crawl up the walls. I did my best to keep it off the Doctor and myself, as Amy did with her and Rory, but there was nothing to be done as the temperature kept dropping over the next few minutes.

The DreamLord reappeared a few minutes later, sitting next to Amy.

My lips tilted downward as I watched them interact. However, thus far, the DreamLord had proven that he would not touch us himself.

"Poor, Amy... he always leaves you, doesn't he? Alone in the dark..." The DreamLord said while looking at the Doctor. "And his precious PJ, he knows you're lying, knows you're hiding something from him but he won't push. Won't investigate more than the surface level, because a part of him doesn't want to know. Doesn't want to chance breaking the lovely things he feels for you—he likes you being his pretty little space human, doesn't he?" The DreamLord chuckled.

I sneered in response, but I tried not to let how much his words affected me show. I suppose I should not be surprised. I'd known since day one that the Doctor would not like me if he knew who I truly was—understood the things I'd done.

"...He never apologizes, does he? Won't tell either of you the truth..." The Dream Lord finished.

"He doesn't have to..." Amy snarked back, clutching her blanket tighter.

"That's good because he never will..." The DreamLord tittered. "And now he's left you both with me. Spooky ole not to be trusted me..."

That doesn't surprise me either. But I did wonder if the DreamLord was being controlled subconsciously by the Doctor.

The DreamLord proceeded to disappear before reappearing in nothing but a bathrobe on one of the jump seats. "Anything could happen..." He waggled his brows at us.

My eyes narrowed, head tilting. Is this the Doctor subconsciously saying he wants to get laid?

Amy allowed her gaze to flicker up and down the man. "Who are you? And what do you want?" She deadpanned. "The Doctor knows you but he's not telling me who you are, and he always tells me. Sometimes it takes him a while but he tells me..." She told him, a confident lilt to her voice. "So you're something different..."

It seemed that she was catching on as well, finding that the DreamLord was no normal enemy. And it seemed the Doctor had figured out who the DreamLord was, he knew it was his inner darkness.

I looked away from the two as the DreamLord spoke with much humor in his voice. "Oh, is that who you think you are? The one he trusts..." He chuckled. "The only girl in the universe to whom the Doctor tells everything?"

Amy leaned forward, now angry. "Yes..." She whispered back.

I internally bit my lip, not daring to say anything. The truth of the matter was that the Doctor didn't trust anyone. Nobody.

It was understandable, really.

He is an important and crazy old man. Why would he go around trusting people?

"So what's his name?" The DreamLord challenged.

It made Amy back off, the girl blinking as though the realization hit her. She really didn't know the Doctor—and how could she? The man was nearing a thousand years old; Amy was nothing but a child to him. A child he loved, no doubt, but a primitive girl no matter what.

To my surprise, the DreamLord snapped his fingers at me. "She probably already knows more about him than you, and she's technically not been with him for as long." He chuckled.

Amy was quick to defend. "Of course PJ would—she's a cool space person, and she's been with Doctor for longer. Their meetings are backward, remember? Obviously the Doctor would trust her..."

The DreamLord shook his head. "Trust is a very big word, he trusts no one. He might say that he does, and he might pull moves that would suggest he trusts others, but in the end, it's always because there isn't any other choice. Perhaps that's why you and the Doctor move so well together, PJ, isn't it? You'll both never be able to fully trust anybody... both of you can still love passionately, both of you can say you trust, but there will always be caution in the back of your minds, won't there?"

My nostrils flared, and I ignored him, refusing to engage with this cruel side of the Doctor. I had better things to do. Like focusing on not passing out from the cold. The DreamLord seemed to not like that.

"You know who I really am, don't you?" He asked me and I paused.

I looked at him, eyes narrowed. "Of course, I do..." I spat.

Amy reeled. "What?!" She gasped. "The Doctor told you?" She sounded hurt before demanding. "Who is he?"

"No," I said sharply. "The Doctor didn't need to tell me, it became quite apparent who he and Lady Nightmare were early on..."

The DreamLord smirked and laughed. "Yes, clever girl, indeed. That is why the Doctor needs you, why he adores you, why he loves you—a human seemingly capable of keeping up with a TimeLord's brain? Let alone his mind, the only woman truly able to get under his skin, to set him alight? Now, that's something you don't pass up: human or not..." He sneered. "Of course, the Doctor would never be able to resist you... tantalizing woman..." He clicked at the end.

Amy was looking back and forth between us frantically, eyes wide and slightly hurt. No—hurt isn't the right word, because she is not taking this personally. It was just a moment of clarity for her, the girl truly understanding the people she was traveling with. The people she was trying to keep up with.

Finally, she turned to me. "PJ..." She started slowly, voice soft. "I need you to spell it out for me, I realize now that I must be a bit slow... but who is he? Who is the DreamLord?"

"You're not slow," I reassured her. "I only figured it out because I had my own version of him terrorizing me in Leadworth..."

She now looked confused. "What? Another DreamLord was there?"

"I prefer the name Lady Nightmare, thank you..." A familiar voice called out from seemingly nowhere, and Amy gasped as the familiar figure of my mother-lookalike came from the shadows of the dark TARDIS.

Her eyes appeared even more black, her face even more pale and gaunt in the shadows of the place. Definitely, not my mother.

"Oh my God, who're you?" Amy gasped.

I snorted with no humor, addressing my nightmarish mother. "I thought you and dreamy here were busy sucking each other's faces off..."

The DreamLord shrugged while the woman sneered a smile. "Would you like another show?"

"Fuck no..." I scoffed in disgust. "Seeing that once was enough to make me want to burn my eyes out..."

"See what? What happened?" Amy desperately asked, now more than confused.

"They were making out—literally tongue-fucking. It was rancid!" I cried to her.

"Oh, don't be so immature, Cooper... we all know that's what you'd like to do to your Doctor... are you really surprised both your darkness' dance together so well?" The woman hummed, slowly walking around the console room, eyes taking it in curiously. "Oh, and this ice does not look good. Look at you two ladies, must be freezing—the ice on your body is certainly of sign of death being near..."

The frost in the TARDIS deepened as Amy's wide eyes darted between me and Lady Nightmare, her expression shifting from confusion to something more defensive. Her body tensed, a natural reaction to the creeping malice radiating from the shadowy figure before us.

"Who are you?" Amy demanded her voice firm despite the chattering teeth seeping into every word. She glanced between us, then added, "You two look like you could be sisters."

Lady Nightmare's lips curved into a slow, deliberate smirk.

"Close," She purred mockingly. "But not quite. This form—" She gestured lazily at herself, her black eyes gleaming. "—was chosen. A touch of familiarity to get under dear Cooper's skin. Someone she'll never be able to let go, a reason that she continues to keep fighting..."

My fists clenched at the sound of the name, the sharp jab it carried landing with precision. "Don't call me that," I snapped, my voice low but charged with frustration.

Amy's eyebrows furrowed. "Cooper?" She repeated, her confusion only growing. She turned to me, searching my face for answers. "Why is she calling you that, PJ?"

Before I could respond, Lady Nightmare chuckled, circling the console like a predator toying with its prey. "Oh, Amy Pond, always the inquisitive one," she said, her tone dripping with mock admiration. "So curious, yet so blind. Ask your clever little PJ what secrets she's keeping from you. She has so many, doesn't she?"

Amy stepped closer to me, her eyes narrowing as her protective instincts kicked in. "Is she the one who killed you, PJ? Is she the reason you...?"

"No!" I exclaimed, grabbing Amy's arm to stop her from approaching Lady Nightmare. "Not her. Not exactly." I swallowed hard, my throat dry despite the icy air. "It was the old people in Leadworth. They're the ones who did it. But she didn't help. She stood there and let it happen."

Lady Nightmare's smirk widened, her voice a silky weapon.

"Oh, Cooper," She said, my name dripping from her tongue like venom. "Blaming me for your missteps? It's not my fault you chose to slice through old people instead of being smart and running. Honestly, what'd you think would happen when the DreamLord sent you to sleep?"

The DreamLord grinned, perking at the attention Lady Nightmare gave him.

Amy whirled to face her, her fists clenched. "Why do you keep calling her that? PJ's her name."

Before I could answer, the DreamLord, still lounging on the jump seat, clapped slowly. "Oh, Cooper, Cooper, Cooper," He drawled, his grin sharper than ever. "A charming little name, isn't it? Or maybe a leftover relic from a life best forgotten? Either way, I'm glad to finally know it..."

Seriously, fuck this half of the Doctor.

"Shut up!" I snapped, the words reverberating through the frosty air. My chest felt tight, my heart pounding against the walls I'd built around the truth.

Amy looked at me, her face a mix of concern and curiosity. "PJ..." Her voice softened. "What's going on? What's he talking about?"

Lady Nightmare laughed, the sound low and dark. "Oh, Pond," she said, shaking her head as if Amy were a naive child. "The truth is never as simple as you want it to be. And Cooper here has a knack for twisting truths."

Amy's gaze sharpened as she turned to me. "PJ, if there's something I need to know—"

"There's nothing!" I said quickly, cutting her off. My voice cracked slightly, betraying the strain I was under. "Not... not now, okay?"

Lady Nightmare let out a low, amused hum. "Protecting your secrets, even now. Admirable, if not predictable. But how long can you keep it up, I wonder?"

Amy's protective instincts flared again, and she moved in front of me as if shielding me from Lady Nightmare's taunts. "You're not going to get in her head," She said firmly. "Whatever you both are trying to do, it's not going to work."

The DreamLord leaned back, his voice dripping with mockery. "Oh, it's already working, my dear Pond. Every word, every glance—it's all unraveling the delicate tapestry your little PJ has woven. But don't worry," he added, his grin widening. "We've only just begun."

Lady Nightmare stayed silent, her dark eyes watching me with an unsettling intensity. Whatever game she was playing, I knew she wouldn't reveal what mattered most. She was a reflection of my mind—a shadow—and even shadows understood the importance of keeping certain things hidden.

But Cooper... Cooper Haven Starre meant nothing. Cooper Haven Starre is dead and she has no place in the Space Jam. Cooper Haven Starre is fine to share, just annoying because I hated being called that name.

"Cooper," I finally said firmly, turning to Amy. "My name before the Ravagers called me PJ... my name was Cooper..."

"And Cooper..." The DreamLord started, disappearing and reappearing until he was squatted by the unconscious figures of the Doctor and Rory. "Poor little Cooper never had a choice..." He sighed, looking at me with a pout before turning to Amy. "But you do—you always do, Amelia Pond. So tell me, which one of these men would you really choose? You ran away with a handsome hero, your own Peter Pan... would you really give him up for a bumbling country doctor who thinks the only thing he needs to be interesting is a ponytail? That sounds like quite the life, Pond." He laughed, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. "But maybe it's better than loving and losing the Doctor which will inevitably happen. It happens with everyone..." He sighed.

I jumped as Lady Nightmare suddenly stroked my hair from behind, the woman smiling viciously at me as she circled me.

The DreamLord continued to speak. "Pick a world and this nightmare will be over. They'll listen to you, it's you they're waiting for, Amy. The Doctor knows he has PJ—knows that her future is tied to his own. But you... he only knows that he lost little Amelia Pond, and came back fourteen years too late. Lost the little girl he intended to travel with, he was so excited for little you to see the stars with him. He even had this stupid impossible vision in his head when he met you. The Doctor, his PJ, and his little Amelia—a makeshift family. Ridiculous, and of course he would mess it up within minutes of the idea coming. But now here you stand, all grown, on the precipice of marriage. Amy's men... Amy's choice... so what'll it be?"

My heart dropped uncomfortably at that knowledge. The Doctor, in the first minutes of his eleventh hour, met Amelia Pond. It would've been right after Ten went to sleep.

Had Eleven truly thought that if he brought Amelia and whenever he would meet me we would... be a family? Even knowing that the version of me he'd meet would have no clue who he was?

No, that wasn't right, the Doctor was not domestic—not in the slightest. And yet, somehow a makeshift family that teetered on the idea of We're the Millers meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith; well, that sounded exactly like him.

A little girl he'd sorta adopted and whisked away to the stars, a nutcase woman by his side, all flying in an improbable ship and living the ultimate adventure. All of us playing space dollhouse, the Jetsons, space family, or whatever else you want to call it.

Yeah, that seemed like him. A makeshift and nonconventional alien family, indeed.

The DreamLord disappeared after that sentence, and Nightmare woman—whatever the fuck her name is—was leaning boredly in a corner watching.

I noticed right away how Amy fixed Rory's blanket, not daring to touch the Doctor. She had subconsciously made her choice.

Squatting over the Doctor, I held both his hands in mine and started to blow on them trying to warm him up.

Ridiculous and sentimental Space Lord. Foolish TimeLord who just wanted a family again.

Silly old Doctor who was traveling the stars with the most dangerous interdimensional criminal in all of existence.

In the next moment, Amy groaned clutching her head.

"Amy?" I asked worriedly, standing and moving over to her.

She smiled almost sadly at me. "Cooper..." She mused. "That name really does suit you... stay strong, we'll be back..." Amy gasped, eyes rolling backward and she fell forward.

I caught her—hissing in pain at the feeling of her cold body hitting mine. The cold was unbearable, slowly killing us all. Carefully, I laid her next to Rory, looking over all three of them with panic.

I was cold and I was the only one still moving around, they were in an exceptionally dangerous position given they were all passed out and not moving meaning they were colder.

"C'mon... come on!" I screamed. "Bring them back here!"

Of course, the DreamLord didn't respond, didn't come back, but Lady Nightmare did.

She laughed.

"Look at you," She sneered, her voice dripping with mockery. "Cooper Haven Starre, the oh-so-dangerous survivor, once again reduced to begging."

I glared at her, my teeth chattering as I stood protectively over the unconscious trio. "Shut up," I snapped, though the words lacked their usual force. The cold was sapping my strength, my anger, my resolve—but I refused to let her see that.

Lady Nightmare tilted her head, her smirk widening. "You're so predictable. Trying to play the hero when it's the last thing you were ever meant to be. You're a weapon, Cooper. A finely crafted tool meant for destruction, not salvation."

"I am bred for both," I spat, my voice low and firm despite the tremor in my body.

She laughed again, a sound that crawled under my skin. "Oh, I suppose that is true. You've always been both. Every choice you've made, every path you've taken—it all leads back to that. Creation and destruction—you see the beauty in both, but most cannot. And that makes them all hate you. You can't escape what you are."

I tightened my fists, my nails biting into my palms as I fought to keep my composure. "I am not afraid of you. I am not afraid of myself..."

Her expression darkened, and she stepped closer, her face mere inches from mine. "Oh, but you are. I can feel it. The fear that you'll never truly be free, that you'll never be more than what they made you. That no matter how far you run, how hard you fight, you'll always be a monster."

I clenched my jaw, refusing to give her the satisfaction of a reaction. "You're just a shadow," I said coldly. "A twisted reflection of things I've already faced. You can't hurt me."

Her smirk returned, cruel and mocking. "Can't I? Or are you just lying to yourself again, like you always do?" She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. "They'll find out eventually, and when they do, they'll hate you too. You'll be alone. Just like you were always meant to be."

I refused to let her words sink in, refused to let the icy doubt creep into my mind. Instead, I focused on the faces of the people lying before me, their breaths shallow and frost forming on their skin. They needed me, and I wasn't about to let some nightmare take them from me.

Lady Nightmare straightened, watching me with cold amusement as I crouched back down by the Doctor, taking his hands in mine once more and blowing on them in a futile attempt to warm him.

"Pathetic," She muttered. "But then again, that's all you've ever been, isn't it? Pathetic little unloved girl..."

Something in me broke—I believed her. I suppose that was all I'd ever been, a girl with way too much power and still so scared.

Cooper, PJ, POLARIS JADE, it was all the same, it all led back to the same thing. The pathetic unloved little girl.

▂ ✶ ▂ ✶ ▂ ✶ ▂ ✶ ▂

from the eyes of
— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 —

In the dimly lit nursery of Amy and Rory's home in Leadworth, the Doctor, Amy, and Rory huddled together, tension thick in the air. The room, once a symbol of hope and new beginnings, now felt like a fragile sanctuary under siege.

Without warning, the window gave way, sending shards of glass scattering across the room. The intruder's head emerged through the opening, eyes gleaming with malevolence.

A little old lady.

Before anyone could react, a jet of green gas spewed forth from the old lady's mouth, enveloping Rory.

He staggered, eyes wide with shock, as his skin began to crack, fissures spreading rapidly like a spider's web. He fell to his knees, looking at Amy.

"Take care of our baby..." He whispered, staring at her with tears in his eyes.

Within moments, his form disintegrated into ash.

Amy's scream pierced the air, raw and filled with anguish. She dropped to her knees beside the remnants of her fiancé, hands trembling as they hovered over the ashes. Her mind struggling to grasp the reality of the horror that had just unfolded.

The Doctor stood frozen, a tempest of emotions raging within him. Guilt gnawed at his hearts, the weight of his perceived failures pressing down on him. In this fractured reality, he had lost not only Rory but also PJ, his dearest companion. The thought of her turning to ash, her absence a gaping void, was a torment he could scarcely endure.

He had to remind himself there was a good chance she's not actually dead because if he didn't remind himself that then there was nothing from stopping him killing every old person alien out there. From tearing the DreamLord to shreds.

Amy's voice choked with desperation, broke through his turmoil. "Save him," She implored, her eyes pleading. "You save everyone. You always do. It's what you do—you can save him and PJ."

The Doctor's gaze fell to the ashes, his expression etched with sorrow. "Not always," He murmured, his voice barely audible. "I'm sorry."

A flicker of anger ignited in Amy's grief-stricken eyes. "Then what is the point of you?" She spat, her words nearly cruel and laced with bitterness.

The Doctor's shoulders sagged under the weight of her accusation. He stared at the floor, his voice a broken whisper. "I don't know..."

In that moment, the Time Lord, who had faced countless adversaries and saved innumerable lives, stood powerless, confronted by the devastating consequences of choices made and the harrowing possibility that this reality, with all its pain and loss, might be the one that is real.

The room fell into a heavy silence, the only sound the distant echo of the old people trying to get in from downstairs.

As the weight of their predicament settled upon them, the Doctor resolved to find a way to discern reality from illusion, to save those he held dear, and to confront the darkness within himself that the DreamLord had so ruthlessly exposed.

But for now, all he could do was share in Amy's grief, the two of them united in their sorrow, yet isolated by the enormity of their loss.

In the back of his mind, the Doctor clung to the hope that PJ was still out there, fighting the battle in the TARDIS.

He knows PJ will die one day, she is only human, after all. While he is not looking forward to it, he is dreading it, in fact. But after Rose, he knows to cherish the time that he does have.

But if that time was cut so short by this of all things... well the Doctor is not sure if can just move forward from this blow. This might just be the final thing that tips him over the edge.

Amy suddenly clutched Rory's ponytail, the man having cut it off for her minutes before he turned to ash. She turned to the Doctor, no longer beside herself but rather with intense determination.

"This is the dream, it's definitely this one..." She breathed. "Now, if we die here, we wake up, yeah? Back in the TARDIS with PJ and Rory?"

The Doctor tilted his head up, staring into her eyes as she came closer to him. Those big brown eyes filled with love and determination—Amy refused to believe her husband and friend were dead.

Arthur Williams, PJ—no, Cooper. They were both still alive. They had to be.

"Unless we just die..." The Doctor shrugged, voice eerily blank.

Amy stepped closer. "Either way, this is my only chance of seeing him again. And your only chance of seeing her... this is the dream, Doctor..."

"How do you know?" The Doctor asked cautiously.

Amy laughed bitterly. "Because if this is real life then I don't want it... I don't want it!"

The Doctor nodded, his voice quiet as he stared back at Amy. "Me neither..." He admitted. "I won't be able to move forward from this—not this time—if this is, indeed, reality..."

A silent understanding came between the two.

The Doctor and Amy moved with resolve, stepping out of the house.

The Doctor's eyes scanned the streets of Leadworth, noting the eerie stillness of the old people standing in clusters, their heads cocked unnaturally.

Amy stopped abruptly, her voice breaking through the silence. "Why aren't they attacking?" She demanded, her voice sharp with frustration and grief. She turned to the Doctor, searching for answers.

The Doctor's gaze didn't leave the looming figures. "Either because this is a dream..." He began, "or because they know what we're about to do."

Amy's breath hitched. For a moment, she looked at the Doctor. Another silent agreement passed between them—an acknowledgment that if this was real, they didn't want it, and if it wasn't, they would wake up. They had to.

A small van sat abandoned a few feet away. The van the Doctor had used to get there. The Doctor gestured toward it, and they walked toward the vehicle in sync, each step heavy with purpose.

Stopping in front of the van, they turned to face each other. There was no fear in Amy's eyes now, only a fierce love and respect for the man standing before her. The Doctor returned her gaze with equal intensity. They didn't need words to convey what they felt—platonic, unshakable affection for each other, and for the people who filled their hearts even now.

He pulled her into a tight embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she clung to him.

"Together," They whispered in unison as they pulled apart, their hands lingering on each other's faces in a shared moment of profound perspicuity.

The Doctor handed her the keys, wrapping his hand around her own. Amy squeezed it back tightly before releasing him and climbing into the driver's seat. The Doctor made his way around to the passenger side, his hand on the door when the DreamLord materialized beside him.

The Doctor froze, his jaw tightening as their eyes locked. The DreamLord's face, usually mocking, was marked with something softer—a sorrowful smile that seemed almost genuine. Until his next words. "She screams for you..." He said quietly, his words cutting deep.

The Doctor's eyes flickered with something raw and painful, but he said nothing. Instead, he yanked open the van door and slid into the seat beside Amy.

Inside, they sat in silence for another moment, the hum of the engine the only sound.

Were they truly about to do this? Kill themselves in the name of love?

The Doctor, once upon a time, would have scoffed at such a notion. But now here he was.

Albeit, there was a very good chance that this wasn't reality. The Doctor really didn't think it was—there was no way that the DreamLord had enough power to pull PJ's consciousness into the Dream Realm at the time of her death. The power that would take is nearly impossible.

No one has that kind of power over reality... certainly not a figment of dreams at that.

A figment of dreams... the DreamLord has no power over reality.

The Doctor's breath caught as the realization hit him. The DreamLord has no power—let alone this much over reality.

Amy glanced at the Doctor, her voice trembling. "I love Rory," she said, tears spilling down her cheeks. "And I never showed him that properly, and now he's gone..."

The Doctor turned to her, his expression softening with insight that only came from shared pain.

He reached over, his fingers brushing hers before gripping her hand firmly. "I love PJ as much as the stars themselves..." His voice broke slightly at his admittance, but he steadied himself. The DreamLord has no power over reality—she isn't dead, and he isn't killing himself. He's just waking up. "And she doesn't know it. I refuse to let that happen. Not again..."

Amy nodded. She squeezed the Doctor's hand one last time before turning back to the wheel. With a deep breath, she pressed down on the accelerator, the van roaring to life as it sped forward.

The home's brick wall loomed closer, but neither of them looked away.

The Doctor closed his eyes, and in the darkness of his mind, PJ's face shone brightly, her laughter echoing as if she were right there with him.

Still, so much to come for her—so many memories to be had with his past self. But for him, for the Doctor, those memories were just that—cherished recollections.

PJ would always be the mystery woman who managed to set him alight. The woman who scoffed and stole the hearts of a 900-year-old cosmic being of immense knowledge as though it were the easiest thing ever.

She stole his hearts and there was still so much he didn't know about her. But he knew that he loved her, and that only made it more fun, he supposed—still a puzzle to solve. Still, so many pieces to find and fit together.

The crash came suddenly, a violent jolt that threw them forward as the world around them faded into black.

▂ ✶ ▂ ✶ ▂ ✶ ▂ ✶ ▂

from the eyes of
— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐉𝐀𝐃𝐄 —

The entire TARDIS felt like an icy tomb as I lay sprawled across the Doctor's chest, my trembling arms clutching at him as if I could will warmth back into his motionless body. My own strength was fading rapidly, the biting cold rendering my limbs sluggish, and my breaths shallow. The icy air clung to my skin like a second, frozen layer.

I was so close to passing out when I felt it—a faint, almost imperceptible shift beneath me. A low groan, the sound barely audible above the deafening silence. My heart skipped a beat as the Doctor's eyes fluttered open.

"Hello..." His voice was weak, hoarse, but it was him. He raised a trembling hand, weakly patting my back. "It's okay, dearest. I knew the other reality was fake..."

Despite the numbing cold that had seeped into every fiber of my being, I managed a small, shaky laugh. "No, you didn't..." I muttered, my lips too numb to chatter but not too numb to call him out.

Amy stirred next, followed by Rory, their groans of discomfort echoing mine as they slowly regained consciousness. Relief washed over me like a tidal wave, thawing the frost that had gripped my chest tighter than the cold itself. They were alive. We were alive.

The air around us seemed to darken, an oppressive weight settling into the room as the DreamLord materialized in front of the console, his ever-present smirk plastered across his face. He looked around at us, tilting his head mockingly. "You chose this reality," he said, his voice dripping with amusement. "Well done. You got it right—and with only seconds left, no less."

He clapped his hands together softly, almost as if applauding our effort. "Fair is fair," he continued, stepping toward the console. "Let's warm you all up, then..."

With a theatrical flourish, he reached out and touched the console. The TARDIS shuddered, a deep hum resonating through the room as the lights flickered back to life. A rush of warmth flooded the space, pushing back the bitter cold. The sudden surge of heat made the TARDIS feel alive again, and the engines roared as we moved away from the cold sun at a breakneck speed.

I pushed myself off the Doctor, my muscles protesting as the warmth began to return to my body, tingling painfully as the blood flow resumed. Around me, Amy and Rory groaned as they shakily sat up, rubbing their arms and stamping their feet to chase away the lingering chill.

The DreamLord watched us with a bemused expression, leaning casually against the console. "I hope you've enjoyed your little fiction..." he said, his tone smug and knowing. "It all came from your imaginations, after all. Every fear, every desire, every buried thought." He straightened, his smirk widening. "I'll leave you to ponder on that."

He stepped back into the shadows, his form dissolving like smoke. His voice lingered in the air, mocking and final. "I have been defeated. I shall withdraw. Farewell."

And just like that, he was gone.

The TARDIS hummed softly, almost soothingly, as if to comfort us after the ordeal. I sat back on my heels, my hands trembling as I reached out to touch the Doctor's face, needing the reassurance that he was real, that they all were.

"We're okay..." I whispered, more to myself than anyone else.

The Doctor caught my hand, his touch still weak but growing stronger with every passing second. "We're okay," he echoed, his eyes locking with mine.

He kissed the palm lovingly.

But something was still off, something was still wrong. This reality... it does not feel right. The Doctor seemed to be thinking the same thing as we locked eyes.

However, before either of us could speak it out loud, a slow clapping filled the space.

Lady Nightmare had not yet left. She stood, leaning against the console humming lightly.

I was on my feet first followed by the Doctor. Amy and Rory were slowly getting to their own shaky feet—frost encapsulated our beings.

"Who is this? What're you?" The Doctor demanded, taking a small step forward so he was right next to me.

My not-mom quirked a brow, lips pulling up in amusement.

"Oh..." She drawled, and to my horror, I had noticed this entire time that Lady Nightmare had been speaking with the slightest of Southern drawls to her voice. Just like Mom used it. "And aren't you just a handsome old boy..." She clicked her tongue in amusement. "No wonder you have Cooper so down bad for you..."

"I don't like to repeat myself, but I'll ask again." The Doctor spat furiously, obviously more than fed up with this entire situation. "Who are you?"

"Female version of the DreamLord," Amy spoke up from behind, coming to stand on the other side of the Doctor, hand-in-hand with Rory. "Lady Nightmare or something. She's was terrorizing PJ, back before the old people got her in Leadworth and now here on the TARDIS..."

"Female version of...?" The Doctor trailed off in disbelief before his eyes seemed to light up with recognition. However, the light soon faded and he turned to look at me with something akin to despair. "Oh."

The Doctor—ever brilliant TimeLord—pieced it together. Because he knew the DreamLord was his own personified darkness, so he concluded that Lady Nightmare was mine.

"Oh is right, TimeLord..." The woman spat. "Cooper here has more darkness in her than you realized, doesn't she? If I exist, after all... and there's enough of me for the psychic pollen to feed..."

Psychic pollen? It was fucking psychic pollen that was causing all of this?

Rory chose that moment to speak up. "Wait, I'm confused. Who is Cooper? And this woman is also American and she looks like she could be your sister, PJ?" Rory said it as a question.

Not my sister—she stole the face of my fucking mother. But none of them realized this.

"Why are you calling her Cooper?" The Doctor asked, his tone edged with confusion and mounting anger. He stepped slightly in front of me, a protective gesture that I both appreciated and resented.

Lady Nightmare tilted her head back and laughed, a chilling, mocking sound. "Oh, TimeLord, put your big brain into gear. She already told you the Ravagers called her PJ. That's not her birth name, who would name their daughter PJ? Her real name..." She gestured toward me with a flourish, her smirk deepening.

"Cooper," I interjected flatly, refusing to meet the Doctor's eyes. "That's my birth name."

"Cooper Haven Starre!" Lady Nightmare practically screamed, her voice ringing out with venomous delight. "What was it again? Cooper after your grandfather? Haven after your grandmother? And Starre—oh, what a funny, cute coincidence that was. Or so I used to say, didn't I?"

My hands clenched into fists, anger simmering just beneath the surface. Her voice, her tone, the way she spoke—it was all wrong, twisted into something grotesque. "You're not my mother!" I snarled, my voice shaking with fury. "You just stole her face! And I already told you—you got the fucking eyes wrong!"

Lady Nightmare's smile widened, her eyes gleaming with malice. "Would you prefer me to take the form of her the night she was killed? The night her throat was slit right in front of you?"

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, the air seemed to vanish from the room. Behind me, I vaguely heard Amy gasp, "Oh my God..."

Rory echoed her sentiment in a stunned whisper, while the Doctor's voice broke through the haze, soft and sorrowful.

"Oh, my darling..."

Lady Nightmare stepped closer, her voice dropping to a mocking coo. "Oh, Cooper, Cooper, Cooper. Little pathetic girl with mommy and daddy issues. Unloved little girl, always searching for tenderness anywhere you can find it. And now look at you, throwing yourself at the great big TimeLord. Love—affection, it's like another bomb for you, for both of you. It'll only end in blood and fire. It always does with you, doesn't it?"

Her words were knives, each one cutting deeper than the last. "She lied to you, Doctor. Sweet ole Cooper was never in an orphanage, she lived with her mother. Then her poor mother was murdered in front of her. She was kidnapped and forcefully taken to the stars!" She laughed wildly, and I heard another series of gasps from Amy and Rory. The Doctor remained stone-faced, glaring at the woman in front of him. "What'll you do when the Doctor finds out the rest of your secrets, Coop? When he finally—"

A twisted truth from her. The truth without mentioning this all happened in a different universe. Not mentioning that I wasn't forcefully taken by Ravagers, but by even crueler hands.

Before she could finish, I pulled the pistol from the waistband of my cargo pants and pointed it at her. The motion was quick and fluid.

The Doctor's voice was gentle, a stark contrast to the tension in the room. "PJ... don't. Shooting her won't do anything. You know what she is. Who she is. Let me handle this, dearest, please..."

Lady Nightmare laughed, a cold, sharp sound. "Foolish girl, have you forgotten? I can't be touched."

But I didn't lower the gun. Instead, I smiled—a smile that carried all the exhaustion, rage, and resolve I'd been holding back. "If you are me—the darkest parts of me personified—then it would stand to reason you can't thrive without me."

Confusion flickered across Lady Nightmare's face. "What do you mean, insolent little girl?"

I tilted my head, still smiling while cocking the space gun. "You're not real, none of this is, and frankly, I'm done playing The Sims."

I turned to Amy, Rory, and the Doctor, their expressions a mix of stupefaction. "See you all outside of this shithole nightmare..."

The Doctor's eyes widened in sudden understanding.

I looked back at my not-mother. "You and the DreamLord told me that I don't have a choice. And perhaps you're right: Cooper never had a choice..." I said sadly, words breathless before fury and fire capsulated them. "But PJ does..."

"Wait!" The Doctor cried, realizing what I was about to do and lunging toward me.

"And this is my choice!"

I turned the gun to myself, shoving the barrel into my mouth.

Before the Doctor's hand could reach me, I pulled the trigger.

The world went black, the last sound I heard being the Doctor's anguish.

Coldness seeped into me—the splinters of my mind resolved themselves.

Completion became me: Cooper, PJ, THE POLARIS JADE—it was all back, all one. Creation and destruction: two sides of the same coin. Two sides of me, I am whole once more.

And then—there it was—The Hobbit theme.