SINCERITY
.

Two years previous, Sadie would have been astonished and relieved to hear her powers had left her. She'd wanted nothing more than to be normal again, thought that if she suppressed it for long enough, then she would be able to... simply forget it all.

Now, Sadie was devastated by the loss of control, couldn't believe the irony- she had to wait for her body to recover naturally before she could even attempt to accelerate healing.

She couldn't remember much, except that she was stabbed, and there was pain, and she had passed out. She would diagnose herself with post traumatic amnesia if it weren't for the few flashbacks she'd had while she was awake.

In one of them, Steve had brought her flowers. He sat nearby then, he'd changed clothes, and now he wore joggers and a t-shirt she could have sworn was Tony's.

Of course he would've changed, a whole two days had passed, and she'd only woken that morning. But she was partly hoping to see him in that navy suit again, partly hoped that he'd find a way to whisk her away to the Seine, and they could make up for lost time.

She was in a hospital gown anyway. Her dress was likely disposed as a biohazard.

"I guess our date's off," she said, in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

Steve laughed, as he had the last two times she'd tried to be funny, but there was something far off in his look. They hadn't spoken very much in the past few hours. Sadie told herself it was a comfortable silence.

"We can raincheck," he said, glancing between her and the sketchbook he held in his hands. "We'll do something in New York. After you're better."

"If that's before Christmas," Sadie sighed, glancing down at her hands that wouldn't glow.

"Give it time," Steve said, gently. The room was so quiet she could only hear the shading of his pencil. "Your body's just... conserving its energy."

Sadie nodded, but she neglected to mention that she didn't really want her powers back to heal herself, as opposed to just knowing they were there. She wanted the sutures, and the scar tissue, and the bloody bandages. It was her cleansing.

She had done harm, and so harm was done to her.

The look on Steve's face motivated her to hold her tongue. He looked worried, as he had for the last few hours (which oddly felt like minutes)- and even as he sketched, the movement of his hand was so meticulous where it was usually free-flowing, the pace of his strokes slow and careful where they were usually fast and feather light.

He kept his wrist stiff. Sadie knew it was to keep his hands from shaking like they were when she'd woken up.

"Let's watch the news," she said, indulging in one of the many luxuries of this particular Parisian hospital- voice automated television.

Steve started to his feet, standing point blank in front of the screen and saying quickly "Mute!" before Sadie could protest. "Shut down," he finished, and the screen behind him faded to black. He took a seat again, closer to the bedside, and Sadie had to think through what had just happened.

"I wanted to watch that," she said, slowly, still trying to read him. It wasn't as easy as it usually was. "You know, see what's going on in the world?"

"Some of it will be about last night," he said, simply, beginning to sketch again. "I don't think you want to hear it."

"It won't all be about that," Sadie said with a frown. Who was he to tell her what she would and wouldn't hear? "There's a lot more important things-"

"It's the big story. They're calling it an assasination attempt," Steve said again, and something about his voice was... different. Wary.

"Assasination is a little dramatic," she frowned. "He just wanted to settle a score."

"You wouldn't want to go after him?" Steve asked, before quickly adding: "Legally. It's attempted murder."

"No, I... I think I'd rather leave it here," Sadie sighed, her head pounding at the thought of ever pursuing this. Yes, she'd leave it as it was- balanced. "Is that all you don't want me to see?"

He set down his pencil. "You remember the nurse said you went into cardiac arrest at the scene?"

"Yes," Sadie answered, noticing how he shifted in his seat- nervous.

"Yeah, well when that happened... I sort of lost my mind." She waited for him to continue. He looked like he couldn't find his words.

"It's a traumatic experience watching anyone go through that," Sadie said. "More traumatic for friends and family than the patient. So, I don't mind if you 'lost your mind' a little. Is that what's troubling you?"

"Not just that," Steve said, with something like a sigh of relief. "There's a video circulating and- I just wanted to ask if you would consider- I would really appreciate- if you wouldn't look up the press coverage."

"What sort of video?" Sadie asked. None of this made any sense. But his face was so sincere. "The stabbing?"

Steve shifted uncomfortably at her words- nobody seemed to want to call it what it was, they all used euphemisms, like now, when he replied:

"No, not the attack."

No elaboration after that. Sadie hated this- not being able to read him- it felt like they'd rewound time to before they really knew each other, and Steve was wearing the same mask he wore with everyone else. Like he was lost to her.

"I don't understand," Sadie said, as gently and non-confrontational as she could. "I mean if it's on the news then tens of thousands of people-"

"I don't care about thousands of people," Steve said, taking her hand. "I care about you. I care about how you see me."

There. There he was. It took a moment, but she'd found him again. Sadie turned his palm over in her hand, traced along his heart line.

"You know how I see you," she said, quietly, not quite brave enough to look in his eyes, so she concerned herself with his hands instead.

"How?" he asked, and she could feel his eyes on her. She forced herself to look up.

"You're the greatest man I know," Sadie grinned cheekily as he laughed. "You're the greatest man I know, you're the greatest man I know, you're-"

"-getting a taste of my own medicine is what I am," Steve said, sitting back in his chair again. She was sad to let go of his hand, but happy to see him begin to sketch again, a little more free than before.

"You were fishing for a compliment. And a near death experience grants me warranty to be corny, you're not getting away without hearing this," Sadie said, with a laugh.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, her mind telling her to just avoid saying what she wanted to. But her joke was part true- she wouldn't let herself get away without showing those she cared about that she appreciated them.

At least Steve's drawing meant he wouldn't be looking at her in his intense way that made her forget herself. No time like the present.

"You just always make me smile," Sadie admitted, the words tumbling from her mouth like an unexpected avalanche. "And I always look forward to seeing you and you're probably the only person besides my mom I could never get sick of. 'Cause you're kind," she laughed. "And you're honest. And it's what I admire the most in- um, you."

Steve didn't say anything in response to that, and Sadie thanked her lucky stars. Instead he only smiled, and told her to look up a little more for her portrait. A comfortable silence.

"I'm glad my powers aren't working," she said, quietly. "Takes away the temptation. And even if they work tomorrow, I don't think I'll heal myself."

"You won't?"

"I think I ought to know what my patients are going through," Sadie said. "Empathise. Learn to be a better one myself."

"You won't have to be a patient for long," Steve replied. "And never again after that, I promise."

Sadie knew he couldn't possibly promise such a thing. But still, she felt safe hearing it.

~

Sadie's new life after surgery included: walking small distances with crutches, eating endless soup because she couldn't fit much more in her stitched up stomach, and not working at all because she wasn't allowed back until she was cleared for practise. Which she was still mad about.

There were plenty of managerial tasks she could do from home, but when she'd told that to the board, they didn't care, and when she'd told it to Tony he'd agreed with them. Any higher than that would be Pepper Potts' territory, and Sadie figured the CEO had more pressing matters to deal with.

Even worse, when she'd brought it up with Tony it only backfired.

"I can't reverse the decision of the board. Besides, you're going part time after recovery," he'd told her, simply over the phone, and her heart had dropped.

"No, no, no. I can't afford to go part time, I-"

"You absolutely can with how G.E.M.I.N.I is doing."

"There are more ways I can't afford it than money." Sadie would have listed them all. Her sanity. Her purpose. Self-worth. She didn't.

"I'm not firing you," Tony said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "I was going to propose it at the celebration party after you and Rogers were finished. It's supposed to be a reward. You're always running on empty, it's time we change that."

"You're not even my boss, Tony!" she'd argued, her entire head about to explode.

"I literally own your job, Sadie," the nonchalant tone of his voice made her want to throw her phone at the wall she'd been staring at for a week. "So, I'm bringing down the hammer on this one. I'm trying to boost your productivity! Productive Dr Moore makes me more money," a long pause. "And you'll have more time with your mom. End call!"

Her powers had come back a week into recovery, her hands glowing brighter than ever and she'd been unable to stop them. For the first time, the warmth burned, and hard.

That was, until Steve came along, and held her hands, breathed with her and the burning ceased. His own hands were blistered badly afterwards, and she'd never felt so guilty healing anyone.

Sadie could hear him in the kitchen now, trying not to burn down her entire apartment and she was so grateful for him. With Savannah leaving soon to return for college, Adrianne working and raising two kids, and her mother also recovering post-op, Sadie had no one for part of her recovery.

And she'd lied to everyone, of course. Said she'd hired someone to help her clean and cook- otherwise Savannah and Adrianne would never have left her alone.

When she'd told Steve that though, he hadn't quite caught her in a lie- but he'd demanded she spends not a penny more, because he'd take care of her himself. And that he did. He'd even taken time off to do it.

Today was the first day she was cleared to eat solids, but she wasn't even allowed to smell the food apparently- she'd hopped into the kitchen after her phone call to ask "what's cookin' good lookin'", only to be told in that firm, authoritative voice of Steve's that it was a surprise.

Not a moment after she reached her bedroom, defeated and hungry, her phone rang again, Savannah's name flashing bright on the screen. Sadie answered, resting her chin on her crutch after lowering herself onto the bed.

"How's packing?" she asked, and it sounded like her sister was in a car.

"Yeah all good, um, guess what!" Savannah said, her voice a little shaky. "Dad's come to visit! Yeah, um, he wants me to drive him over."

At first, Sadie's stomach filled with dread. Then, she frowned, laughing slightly. "Good one, you almost got me, Sav."

"I'm not kidding," she replied, and the dread was back again. "I couldn't call you earlier, he's in the store now but- I'll turn the car around if you don't want to see him. I get it if you don't, he doesn't seem like he's coming over for a chat. We're five minutes away. Stopped to get gas."

Sadie took a deep breath, or as deep as she could with her shredded diaphragm. She glanced down at her hands, made them glow, considered fixing the damage to her body there and then, so she could face whatever this was properly. But she let the light dim. This didn't have to be a confrontation.

"No, no, he can come over," Sadie said, with a tight smile. "I'll be really happy to see him."

"Alright, it's ready," Steve called from the other room, an excited tone that made her smile. Sadie made her way out again, slowly, and relying on the support of her crutch and she was unbelievably surprised by the view.

"Oh my god," she gasped, butterflies exploding in her chest. "This is beautiful!"

Steve had set the table for two, a pristine white tablecloth covering it, red roses as a centerpiece, and jazz music filtered through the air. The television played a cinematic video of a river she recognised all too well and gosh- the smile on his face. For a moment, Sadie forgot about their impending interruption.

"Not quite dinner by the Seine, but I got the recipe from the restaurant," he said. "It didn't exactly turn out perfect, but I tried to make the portions manageable. And I know you haven't eaten this sort of thing in a while so we can pace ourselves. Still rosé since you can't have carbonated- oh, Sadie, have I upset you?"

She didn't realise there were tears on her face until he was wiping them away, searching her expression with a frown. She'd have to tell him that all this had to wait but she wished so badly it wasn't like that. And she hated the world for interrupting them. But she hadn't seen her father in years, and maybe...

"No, you haven't," Sadie explained. "This is all perfect, and I couldn't thank you more. But... My batshit family's coming over."

"What?" Steve laughed, but when she didn't smile in return, he stepped away from her. "What?"

"Savannah just called. My dad's in town," she sighed, and Steve shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I won't let him stay long, but- I haven't seen him in almost six years and maybe this is my chance to fix things, I don't know. I'm sorry-"

"No, don't apologise," Steve answered with a sigh. "I'll set two more places."

"Hey," Sadie said, grabbing hold of his sleeve as he turned towards the kitchen. "You don't have to stay for this. I don't know how messy it's going to get and-"

"I'll stay," he answered. "Maybe it'll all be more... polite in front of a stranger."

"You're not a stranger," Sadie frowned.

"And hey," Steve smiled, ignoring her statement. "Who doesn't want to meet their girl's dad on the first date?"

"Oh, so I'm your girl, now?" Sadie grinned, stepping into him. "You're my man?"

"Of course," he said, and she didn't miss how he bit his lip as he snaked his arms around her.

"You wanna kiss me to prove it?" she asked lowly, and she could have laughed for how hard her heart was beating.

And she knew his was too as he answered breathily, his eyes glued to her lips. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Sadie repeated, her voice saccharine. When he leaned in, though, she lifted a finger to his lips, stepped out of his embrace. "Only on the third date, Mister. I'm not that easy."

"You're not easy at all," Steve glowered at her, but she could still see a smile peeking through. "I wish you weren't such a flirt."

"No, you don't," she answered, taking in his expression.

She loved this. Keeping him on his toes, even though she was even more desperate than he was. But her mother taught her standards, and experience had taught her guidelines. She wouldn't go all in too fast, even though Sadie thought that it might be the last time she'd ever have to.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

SAV
We're here.
He's mad.

Sadie's patience was already wearing thin.

SHELL
What the hell does he have to be mad about already?

SAV
He says you're nonchalant.
You sure you want to let him up?

SHELL
Yes, but tell him I have a guest so he doesn't embarrass himself.

"I don't think this is going to go well," Sadie said to Steve, as there was a knock on the door, followed by the clicking of Savannah's keys in the lock. "Last chance to back out."

"Doesn't matter," Steve replied, as the door opened, and her relatives entered.

Savannah looked the same as always, if not a little nervous and on edge. Sadie couldn't blame her, she was probably a direct reflection of her sister in that moment, as she stepped forward.

Their father was at Savannah's side, and Sadie's instinct was to smile- even if she didn't mean it. She was shocked to see how Carl Moore had hardly aged in only five years. He still stood tall and strong as ever, not a single silver hair on his head- while her mother was in hospital withering away. Sadie tried not to be angry about it.

She could feel Steve's presence behind her, and her instinct was to hide all of this from him. But when she looked at him, his expression told her he wouldn't leave her to deal with whatever this would turn into on her own. She was selfishly reassured.

"Well, it's as if I was never here," Carl said pointedly, and Sadie turned back to face him.

"Sorry, Dad, it's good to see you," she said calmly despite the hammering of her heart in her chest, the twisting of her stomach. "Would you like a drink?"

"I would like you to leave my daughter alone," Carl said, and there it was.

It hurt to hear it, the same words he'd said so many years ago. My daughter. As if Sadie wasn't his daughter, too. She supposed she wasn't anymore.

"Dad, I thought we were going to be civil," Savannah said, quietly, and her face was blanched.

Sadie gave her a look, trying to let her know that she could walk away from this- she could imagine it, the trauma that this scenario uncovered for the girl. The rows, the fighting, all while her sister was hospitalised with burns all over her body.

"Savannah is a grown woman now," Sadie said, carefully. "She can decide if she wants to stay in touch with me."

"Then why are you speaking for her? You think because she's passed eighteen she is suddenly capable of withstanding your manipulation?" Carl asked, and Sadie tried not to let it anger her. She curled her fingers into a fist. "You haven't changed the slightest bit. You're still using that curse of yours as if it's a blessing."

Her curse. Sadie glanced down at her hands, remembered how she'd believed that for so many years.

"Sadie isn't cursed," Steve said, and Sadie took his hand as a signal for him to stop.

"Don't try me, boy. This doesn't concern you," Carl said. "Isadora, you think we haven't seen? You are standing with so called heroes, fighting their battles-"

"You mean Sokovia?" Sadie asked, shaking her head. "Sokovia is your issue?"

"You killed people," Carl said, bluntly. "God knows what else you've done since then."

"She saved people," It was Steve again, striding forward. Sadie let her hands glow and put a barrier between the two of them, but it wasn't Carl she was protecting. "If it weren't for her, then that death count would have been a hell of a lot higher. You didn't see how hard she worked, or the toll it took on her. You didn't see any of it, so don't comment."

Carl cocked his head to the side, as if he had just realised who it was that stood before him. His eyes landed on the table set to their right. Then Sadie's father dropped into a low and graceful bow, but his voice was soaked in hostility as he spoke.

"Captain America," he said, sarcastically, as he straightened his back. "Our 'lovesick soldier.' I understand the tabloids now."

"Dad, that's a low blow," Savannah said, quietly, from the back of the room. Her hands were shaking.

Sadie couldn't help but feel confused. The tabloids? She'd stuck to her promise and not looked up any of the news surrounding her, or the other Avengers, but now she wished she had.

"It's true," Carl continued. "Savannah, your sister is living a lifestyle that leads to attempts on her life. And as a result, he goes on slaughter sprees that she condones, and he gets away with!"

"Slaughter sprees?" Sadie repeated, turning to face Steve, now. She hoped to God he'd tell her it was a lie. "Is it true? Is Hugo Vermis dead?"

His silence hung heavy in the air, and she knew the answer. "I was going to tell you tonight."

"Is that what was in those videos?" She asked, her heart breaking. "That's what you didn't want me to see?"

"No, that's not-" Steve stopped, taking a breath. "That isn't what was in the video."

"Well, what was?" Sadie pressed, and his expression was conflicted.

"I was going to tell you that tonight too," he said quietly. He'd lied to her.

"You don't know?" Carl asked, and his voice was gentler now. He sounded like her father again. "Isadora, can't you see? Nothing good comes from any of this. It's a curse and it's led you to this. People so embarrassed of human emotion that it leads to death and injury."

Sadie didn't know what to say. She was frozen, energy suddenly drained. She let the light from her hands dim, let the barrier between them all come down.

"These powers, they have a life of their own, a mind of their own," Carl said. "You will never have full control, until you stop."

A mind of their own. That was true. Sadie knew it was true because she'd come to realise it, come to love it. But her father's words, they didn't sound so detached as she was used to.

"How would you know?" Sadie asked, although she already knew the answer, could sense it coming.

She thought back to the results she'd seen from G.E.M.I.N.I. This was in her genes. Hereditary. Carl never dropped her gaze as he held out his aged hands, and they glowed, an identical blue to her own. Her heart stopped straight in her chest. The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

That was, until Steve was in front of her again, replacing the barrier she'd dropped.

"I'm not going to use them," Carl said, amusedly. "You can take my word for it, Captain."

"I don't know you," Steve responded, sharply. "So, I can't."

"Our girl can hold her own, as she's proved time again," her father said, and there was something in his voice. Pride? No. Jealousy.

Sadie glanced across the room at Savannah. Her sister was shaking even harder now, her jaw clenched as she watched with wide eyes. She knew what it was just by looking at her. Trauma induced panic attack.

"Steve," Sadie said, stepping between him and Carl. Steve's face was hard, his jaw clenched, and he never took his eyes off the man behind her. She spoke loud enough for only him to hear. "I see what you're trying to do and I appreciate it. I really do. But I'd appreciate it more if you could get Sav out of here for a while. I can handle this."

~

"So what did you used to do with it?" Sadie asked. It was just her and her father now, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

"I built things," Carl answered. It made sense. He was a construction worker before he left the US, it made sense that building was what he knew. "But everything I built was cursed. It never lasted."

"Like what?"

"Like our home," her father said, and she remembered the image of the house in flames. The smell of the burning. Knowing everything they had was gone.

"We were assigned our old house," Sadie reminded him, with a bitter laugh. "It was part of the projects."

"Our application was rejected," Carl explained. "We couldn't pay rent on the apartment and we were going to be evicted. So I built us a house, and told you all we were gifted it. It wasn't perfect, of course it wasn't, I hadn't used the powers in years. But it was shelter, so it would do."

"Does Mom know?" she asked- the one question on her mind. She prayed the answer wasn't what she dreaded.

"She didn't know I built it," he said. Sadie couldn't say anything. "But, yes. It's why we divorced when the fire happened. She called me a hypocrite."

Sadie's mind was pulled two ways with confusion.

Her mother knew, the whole time? All the time that Sadie had struggled, even before Shan's dementia set in, and her mother had kept it all from her. Oh God, the peace it would have given her to know these powers weren't her fault, weren't her curse-

She could have embraced them so much sooner. Embraced herself so much sooner.

"She called you a hypocrite because you are one," Sadie said, her blood boiling. "Don't you get it? You used the mimicry to create a lie that you told for twenty years in that house. And all the while you shunned it, called it a curse while you reaped from its benefits."

"There were no benefits-"

"There were benefits!" Sadie was shouting now, and it hurt her stomach to do so. "We were the benefits! Our family! And you threw it away. You split us apart. And we will all never forgive you for that."

She felt like her sutures would pop as she roared at him and she thanked God that Steve wasn't there to see her so-

Steve. He had lied, too. Killed people for her, and kept it a secret. Her heart ached.

"Shell," Carl said, after a moment's silence. She turned away at the sound of her name, poison in his voice. "I don't blame you for that night. I don't blame you for the fire- not anymore. I see now that you had no control. And when I heard you'd made the right decision, I wanted to reach out but Savannah was still so wounded-"

"Don't put this on her," Sadie said. "I never made the right decision. I couldn't live with myself so I suppressed myself."

"You did make the right decision," her father insisted. "It's now that you're going astray. You need to stop. It's an addiction."

"It's mimicry," she said, with a sigh. "You see it as a curse so that's what it becomes. But I learned to see it as a gift. I see it as power and strength. So that's what it becomes."

Sadie closed her eyes, remembered how free she'd felt those years ago, healing Steve, healing the people on the highway, healing herself for the first time in years. When she opened her eyes, her hands were glowing in response, a signal that her words were true.

Yes, the mimicry had a mind of its own, a soul of its own. But she wasn't afraid of it. Sadie would continue to nurture it, and have faith it would nurture her in return.

"What are you going to do with those?" Carl said at last, with a nod towards her luminescent hands. Sadie smiled.

"I'm going to wave you goodbye, Dad," she said. "I'm going to close the door behind you, and then I'm going to put my palms towards the sky and pray for you. That's what I'm going to do with these."

~

Isadora Moore was a woman of many names. Steve knew them all. Isadora-Michelle. Doctor Moore. Aceso. Shell to her family. Chief to her employees.

Sadie to him.

Steve had called her almost all of them at various points when he knew her. Now, he wondered if she'd ever let him call her anything at all.

Savannah's rental car was freezing. Steve had tried to turn the heating on, but she'd grabbed his hand and asked him not to, shiny tears across her cheeks.

She said she couldn't stand the heat, said it was like burning. He knew it was her choice, but he couldn't watch the girl shiver, so he'd give up his hoodie, even if it meant he'd have to hold back a shiver instead.

Savannah was rubbing as the skin on her forearms, the left side of her face- fastidiously, as if reassuring herself it was still there.

"There used to be burns," she said, finally, by way of explanation. "All over. Half my face was gone."

He couldn't think of anything to say to that, so he didn't say anything at all, only shifted more towards her, a cue that he was listening.

"They'd argue at my bedside, when I was in my coma," Savannah said. "They didn't know I could hear them, hear all of it. I only wanted for them to stop but I was frozen. I couldn't say a thing. I thought that tonight I could make up for it, keep the peace but- I was just frozen again, and now they're up there... tearing each other apart with words."

"Sometimes these things happen," Steve started, carefully. "We make plans for how things are going to go in our heads and it doesn't always work out, but... That doesn't mean we don't keep trying. And it doesn't mean we blame ourselves, either."

"Are you going to keep trying?" Savannah asked. "I could see what you did for her tonight. I'm sorry it was ruined."

"I don't think she wants me to keep trying anymore."

"You were going to tell her you love her?" Savannah's voice was sincere, and gentle.

He turned away, and he knew he looked like a child. Embarrassed of human emotion.

No, it wasn't that. Steve wasn't embarrassed by his emotions, he was confused by them. He'd thought that part of him dead for the longest time, frozen in the ice with his innocence. Now, it was reborn, Sadie had breathed life into it, and it burned so furiously inside him that sometimes he forgot how to breathe.

"I think I need to give it time now," he said, honestly.

"Don't leave it too long," Savannah warned, and he nodded.

"I know," Steve answered, truthfully. Then a knock on his window startled him out of his thoughts and Sadie's father- Mr Moore? He didn't give a name- was standing by the car door. Steve turned to Savannah. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she said, with a smile. "He's... good to me. Different. We're catching the flight back on Wednesday."

Steve nodded, reading the worry in her face. "I'll look after her."

"Look after yourself too," Savannah ordered, and he wished he could promise he would. Instead, he opened the car door and strode past the man knocking harshly at it, watching as the man climbed in his place.

Sadie stood on the steps to the apartment building, leaning heavily on her crutches. Steve stepped towards her to take some of the weight but she shook her head, stared straight past him towards the car driving away.

She lifted a hand and waved goodbye, her chin up and her braids in a pile like a crown on her head. A single tear flowed down her cheek, reflecting the entire awful world around them, but she cried no more than that, only carried on waving slowly, until the car disappeared from sight.

Steve waited. He didn't say a word, he only waited, and listened to the wind. When Sadie made her way back into the apartment, he followed, still in silence. Only after the door was locked did Sadie look at him at last. He could see the hurt on her face, and he knew it wasn't only her father who put it there.

"What's in the video?" Sadie asked him, her eyes pleading, but her expression stoic. Steve opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't. "Alright. How did you kill him? Vermis?"

I beat on him. Cracked his ribs and his skull and I strangled him. Suffocated him and watched him splutter and I felt his neck shatter under my hands and I found the knife in his pocket, the one he used on you, and it still had your blood on it. He was already dead at that point, but I used that to make sure anyway.

Steve couldn't say any of that. Not that he was ashamed of it, he wasn't ashamed of it. There was a certain brutality he'd never indulged in before, no buffer of his suit and his shield or any weapons. It had been just Steve, and his hands, and blood.

If he could go back, maybe he would've been cleaner about it, maybe kept it to a swift slice of the jugular, or a shot to the head. But he wasn't ashamed.

"Alright," Sadie said again, snapping him out of his thoughts. Her hands were glowing brighter than he'd seen since the day they burned, as she sat herself on the couch and rolled up her t-shirt, uncovering her bandages to expose the ghastly stitches beneath.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked, although he knew the answer. He could see the work she did already, as the bruising disappeared.

"Fixing this," Sadie said. He stood in silence for ten minutes more, until Sadie stood with ease, without her crutches, stretched up to touch the ceiling, and down to touch her toes. Steve was so relieved to see it.

"Should we have dinner?" he tried, stupidly.

"Thank you for everything you've done," she responded. "But I think it's best you don't come over for a while."

"What?"

"I appreciate your help, but I don't need it anymore," Sadie repeated, simply, but her voice was shaky. "I'll see you at the compound."

God, he couldn't stand this. He stepped forward and she stepped away.

"Sadie, I did it because I-"

"I don't care that you killed him," she explained, closing her eyes. "I care that you kept it from me. You kept it a secret after I told you how much I value your honesty, and you said you'd never lie to me."

"I thought that if I told you, you'd blame yourself," Steve said, quietly. He wouldn't mention Adrianne's part in it, or Savannah's awareness. If Sadie would be heartbroken tonight, let her at least have her friend and sister to confide in. "I knew it was a set-up. And if you survived then they'd keep on coming."

"I would've dealt with it," she said.

"They wanted to send a message," he explained, desperately. "And what would it look like if nothing was done? If you can stab an Avenger and get away with it?"

"Wow, Steve, I didn't realise you cared so much about what people think," she laughed, bitterly. "You don't even seem sorry-"

"I am sorry."

"-And it's even worse because of how I feel about you," Sadie said the words as if it was an accident, her hands covering her mouth not a moment after as she turned away.

How she felt about him. This could have been better, this could have been so much better if he could only have said it sooner.

"Sadie," Steve started, his words like charcoal in his throat, absorbing every ounce of courage he had. He stepped forward again, placing his hands on her shoulders but she still wouldn't turn around. "Sadie, I am so-"

"I need to get my head together," she interrupted, shrugging away his touch. "Please?"

It was so frustrating that she wouldn't let him speak. But he knew why she was hiding her face, could hear the stickiness in her voice.

"Okay," Steve nodded, defeated. "I'll see you at the compound."

So he left her alone. And as he went, all he could think was that each time it happened, falling in love was always the best and worst thing to happen in his life.

...
..
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Hi everyone! That was a whopper of an update huh? Probably the longest so far, but I really enjoyed writing it- wanted to give you all a good mix of angst and fluff, keep you on your toes you know?

So Sadie took five steps forward and ten steps back, but that's what happens with dishonesty in relationships! The next chapter is the end of our in-between period though, and chapter 28 is the beginning of Civil War, so fingers crossed our faves can sort their crap out. Whoever said you have to be a couple for a break up scene huh?

Let me know your thoughts!

-Amber.