TRIGGER WARNING: implications of sexual harassment in this chapter and discussions about it. I'll code these sections by underlining whenever it's attempted, implied or discussed so those affected can skip past if needs be.

Also this chapter is VERY long, sorry! So make sure to get yourself a cuppa, and enjoy!

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE PRISONER
.

Words were all Sadie could comprehend.

"If you can hear me... I've got you... don't worry, you're safe..."

The world was blurry.

Sadie felt herself being carried by strong arms, heard Sam's voice reassuring her every now and then, usually always followed by the bark of a much more aggressive voice- orders of some kind which he argued against.

"Won't hand her over until she's awake... Cap isn't here to do it... protecting her until she can herself..."

Sam kept her with him, and at one point she felt flight- thought maybe he'd managed to get away somehow. But there was turbulence, and no cold air.

There was the click of guns, threatening and close, and Sadie wanted to tell Sam it was okay, he could let her go, but she couldn't speak. Eventually she felt herself pulled from him, the plastic of a stretcher beneath her.

Sadie heard cruel voices above her, felt hands on her face, her legs, her hair.

"This suit's going to have to come off... all that leather... poor Aceso, where's your man?"

Sadie tried to move. She couldn't. She tried to scream. She couldn't. She tried her powers. She couldn't. She tried to pray. It was answered.

"Nobody is touching her..." a woman's voice. Wanda? "I'll do it... don't care... won't touch her or I'll rain hell on this place..."

More commotion. More conflict. More helplessness. Everything she'd feared about being a prisoner had happened already.

It could only get worse.

A hospital bed was not a luxury Aceso was granted as she came to consciousness.

Instead there was hard cold floor beneath her and white lights that dizzied her. She squinted her eyes, moved to rub them, but her arm was tugged back behind her harshly as she winced.

Restrained.

Panic started to rise in Sadie's stomach as she attempted to scramble clumsily to her feet. She caught a reflection in the white wall behind her- her hands were cuffed behind her back, and there were weighted gloves around them. She let her hands glow in an attempt to break free, but the light didn't even seep through the material.

Her heart was beating terribly as she looked around the room she was in- not a room, a cell, she realised. There was a bed. Whoever had put her there just hadn't bothered to lay her on it.

Suddenly, Sadie could hardly breathe.

She was alone here, she'd never get out, she'd never see her mother again, see Steve again, she was completely and utterly alo-

"Sadie," the voice was so familiar it immediately calmed her shaky breaths. "You're okay. We're all here."

"Sam?" she called, stepping forward towards the bars.

That was when her vision expanded beyond her own cell, and her restraints. A circle like chamber, Clint in the cell directly opposite. She craned her neck to look around her and found Sam several cells away from her. She could only assume Scott was in a cell she couldn't see.

"How long have we been here?" Sadie asked, her throat dry.

"There's no clocks but... I would guess about four hours," Sam answered, his arms crossed against his chest.

"Did they-"

"They didn't catch Steve," he said, and Sadie let out a sigh of relief. "There's AV in here, so uh- let's leave the topic at that."

"I just pray he's alright," she admitted, with a heavy heart. "That's not a crime to say, is it?"

"No, Sadie, it's not."

She looked down at herself- she was dressed in blue nylon trousers and shirt. Even her hair was tied tightly away. Why had they touched her hair? And why had they tied it so tight? She felt silly for worrying about it, but when she was keeping her hair natural, it felt like an affront. But besides all of that...

"Who undressed me?" she asked, dreading the answer. "Where did I get these clothes?"

Nobody answered.

"I... I could hear things," Sadie started, bile rising in her throat. "I- there were men talking about... oh my God, did they-"

"No," Sam said, stepping rapidly towards the bars. "No, no, no. We would never let that happen to you."

"Then how have I changed?" she asked, desperate for answers, angry with herself and her burn out.

"Wanda dressed you," Sam explained. "It was going to be those prison guards, but she fought like hell as soon as she heard what they were saying. It complicated things when we stood up, but... the three of us kept them occupied while Wanda got you straight. And I personally made sure none of those bastards looked."

Sadie felt sick by the thought that there had been a confrontation, a fight over her body. But despite it, she was grateful that Wanda had been there to hear it. She was touched that her friends had stood up for her when she couldn't stand up for herself.

Sadie was even more grateful that Steve hadn't been there to see her so helpless, or to hear what those guards had said. Considering what had happened the last time someone had tried to hurt her...

She knew what he could do because he cared for her. And though she felt reassured by that, she never wanted for him to ever have to protect her, or avenge her, again.

"I'll have to thank Wanda. And all of you. I don't even have the words," Sadie sighed, sincerely.

"You're one of us, Sadie," Sam said. "You don't have to thank us at all."

"Nobody ever hears about it," she said, firmly, and she was met by a chorus of promises. "They didn't get what they wanted, we're not going to give them the luxury of our attention on it any more."

"Absolutely."

She turned away, certain the look in Sam's face would bring her to tears if she looked for too long and she wouldn't cry here, not now. Not after he'd carried her like a baby here, after he and Wanda, and Clint, and Scott had had to risk themselves for her, that way.

"Where's Wanda now?"

"They put her in a straight jacket and we haven't seen her since," Clint said, solemnly. "We think they put her in solitary."

"Can they do that?" Sadie asked, outraged. "Do we get lawyers?"

"No mention of it," Scott spoke up then. "No phone calls either. Nobody even read us our rights. I've been arrested enough times to know that none of this is normal."

"How can this be legal?" Sadie said, in disbelief. "What are they keeping us here for, what do they want?"

"They want us to snitch," Sam said, bitterly. "Tell where Steve is."

Sadie scanned the room, noticed a camera in the corner of her cell and turned to face it, her hands still restrained behind her back.

"Yeah?" she said, staring right down the lens. "Well then, good fucking luck."

Right then, there was a clunk of the security door and Sadie whipped around to see who had entered, readying herself for confrontation.

She expected guards, or officials, maybe even Secretary Ross if they were all considered high profile enough. Instead, Sadie saw Tony Stark.

He was dressed plainly now, his arm in a sling and his face haggard, and Sadie could've scoffed that he was the only visitor they seemed to be allowed. And even then, did he have a job to do?

The silence was broken by a single applause- Clint Barton with a slow clap and a curled lip.

"The Futurist, lady and gentlemen!" He called out, the sarcasm dripping from his voice. "The Futurist is here! He sees all! He knows what's best for you, whether you like it or not."

"Give me a break, Barton," Tony sighed, approaching Clint's cell. "I had no idea they'll put you here. Come on."

"Yeah, well, you knew they'd put us somewhere, Tony."

"Yeah, but not some super-max floating ocean pokey," he argued. Still missing the point. "You know, this place is for maniacs. This is a place for..."

"Criminals?" Clint asked, standing. "Criminals, Tony. That's the word you're looking for, right? That didn't used to mean me. Or Sam, or Sadie, or Wanda. But here we are."

They were so close through the bars now that it was hard to watch. Every word made her want to jump in, say her part, give Tony a piece of her mind.

"Because you broke the law," Tony said, simply. "I didn't make you."

Sadie didn't trust herself to listen to any more after that. The last thing she wanted was to end up in a shouting match with Tony Stark, not when her head was aching how it was.

She couldn't get away with it for long, though, because soon Tony's voice was addressing her.

"You wanna talk to me, Chief?" he said, as Sadie sat herself down on the prison bed.

"Not your Chief," Sadie muttered. "I'm fired, remember?"

"Right," Tony sighed. "Bigger loss for us than for you."

It was supposed to be a compliment, she knew that. It didn't mean anything now, though.

"Don't tell me about losses," she said, quietly. "What was the verdict on Rhody? After I... after I couldn't finish?"

"They're flying him to Columbia Medical tomorrow, so fingers crossed," Tony said, his brow knitted. "But the doctors said you might have stopped the progression of the damage and the pain. Kept him... semi functional. There's going to be some form of paralysis."

"I could still help him," Sadie said, her heart the heaviest it had been since the fight. She could've fixed it, but she was too weak.

"No, you can't help anyone," he said, coldly. "Because instead of going home like I told you to, you threw yourself into this. Were you on crack?"

"Lay off her, Stark," Sadie heard Sam say from his cell, but she honestly couldn't have needed backup less.

Tony's words were redundant. Especially when she believed in what she was fighting for.

"Okay. Fair. I'm being harsh," he conceded, moving on to Sam's cell. "What do you need? They feed you yet?"

"You're the good cop now?" Sam asked, and Sadie scoffed.

"I'm just the guy who needs to know where Steve went."

"Well, you better go get a bad cop, because you're gonna have to go Mark Fuhrman on my ass to get information out of me," Sam argued, and Sadie hummed in agreement.

Tony spun back around at that, but he didn't comment, instead opting to raise an eyebrow at her, as if to coax out some response. Sadie ignored him, and he sighed, fiddling with his smart watch.

"Oh," he said, casually. "I just knocked the 'A' out of their 'AV'. We got about 30 seconds before they realize it's not their equipment."

That, Sadie couldn't ignore. She stood from her place, crossing to get a closer look as Tony projected an image from his watch. A man, bloody-nosed and unconscious. No, not unconscious. Dead.

"Just look," he continued. "Because that is the fellow who was supposed to interrogate Barnes. Clearly, I made a mistake. I was wrong."

Sadie would have applaused if her hands weren't tied.

"That's a first," Sam scoffed.

"So what are you going to do now?" Sadie asked, biting her lip- it was sore and almost bleeding from how much she gnawed at it the last few days, and from how hard Steve had kissed her the previous night.

That night that felt like years ago.

Sadie shook her head, pushed the thought away.

"Cap is definitely off the reservation but he's about to need all the help he can get," Tony said, honestly. He turned back to Sam, moved closer to his cell. "We don't know each other very well. You don't have to-"

"Hey, it's alright," Sam interrupted, and Tony leaned closer to the window. "Look, I'll tell you... but you have to go alone and as a friend."

Tony's response didn't miss a beat and Sadie hadn't felt so reassured about anything with this team as when he answered, "Easy."

"Sadie," Sam said, shooting her a glance between their cells. "You wanna go first?"

~

It had been at least twelve hours since Tony's visit, nearing time to sleep. But they were only waiting. Waiting for nothing, waiting for everything. It was agonising.

Sadie's stomach growled because she refused to eat. She didn't have a particular liking for sourdough bread, and she certainly wouldn't drink their water. Her main fear was some sort of drugging- to get them all loose lipped.

The three men in the cells around her showed no such concern.

At least the juice was boxed, she thought. At least she could drink that, even if she had done the whole thing with her chin and teeth. Her hands were still cuffed behind her back, so her only option would be to eat like a dog. It was embarrassing enough trying to open her drink- she couldn't be less interested in their food.

"Y'know, as far as prison food goes, this has to be the worst," Scott said- still out of sight but his voice loud enough. "It isn't even butter, it's oleo. Who eats oleo?"

"You, apparently," Clint answered. "Don't worry, Lang, you don't need to diet."

"Eating trans-fats like that is one of the worst things you could do to your body," Sadie said, chewing on the straw of her empty juice box. "Lowers your good cholesterol in exchange for more of the bad."

"So these guys are trying to kill us," Sam laughed. "Good to know."

"I need a shower," she complained, resting her head against the scratchy pillow. "No, a bubble bath. And a load of lotion for after. And some salve for these cuffs."

"Can't believe those bastards are keeping you in those," Sam spat.

"These gloves are like sandpaper," she continued, glancing at the surveillance camera in her cell. "Y'all couldn't get me some silk? I'd settle for Egyptian cotton."

"I bet you got some fancy linens at home," Scott said, his voice a little too chipper.

"Black satin. Silk is too slippery, cotton's too hot," Sadie said, imagining the cool fabric beneath her skin instead of the rough polyester.

She closed her eyes then, pictured the early morning sun spilling through her east facing window, the view of the avenue beyond it. The home she'd chosen for herself, worked so hard to get.

"Sounds nice," Clint commented, casually.

"I have peach satin too. But that has contrast stitching on it. Like, patterns," Sadie said, another image springing to mind.

The salmon material under moonlight, pale hands tracing along the stitches, short blond hair against the pillow, a lopsided grin. The sound of urban jazz through the radio on her bedside table. That was the music they could agree on most- contemporary vocals and vintage brass.

"And I always have the linens at least a third larger than the actual bed itself," Sadie continued. "That makes sure it's always presentable."

Steve's sleepy murmurings were in her head now- how he has to be up early in the morning, but he'll try not to wake her, how he wanted to get her a pet to fill the empty spaces in the house. Sadie's own nervous voice asking if he'd consider filling the empty spaces himself. His kiss in response, and his reasoning that she could have both him, and a pet, if she wanted.

"Oh- and you can't go without a generous number of blankets, either, apparently" she chuckled. "I never used to sleep with extra blankets, always thought it looked better minimal. Steve wouldn't get off my back about it, though- he said it doesn't matter what it looks like because you'll be asleep anyway."

That was when Sadie caught herself, her eyes snapping open as she sat up. How long had she been rambling about her stupid bedsheets? And could they all see right through her, to her pathetic pining?

"He's got a point," Sam said, and there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

That only pushed her embarrassment further. She should change the topic- to anything that wasn't Steve, or bedsheets, or whether or not extra blankets are necessary for comfort.

Instead, Sadie blurted: "My hair's gonna be crazy if I sleep without my pillowcases."

She screwed her eyes shut as soon as she said it- and she would have facepalmed if she had free hands to do so.

"That's your main concern?" Clint asked, baffled, and Sadie rolled her eyes.

"I'm not gonna explain this," she chuckled, used to the silent judgement.

"Black hair needs a little something special," Sam spoke, from his cell. "That, and Sadie is prestige. She could wear a bonnet like most folks. Instead, she goes all peach satin ass, three quarters larger or whatever the hell-"

"I swear to God, Sam," Sadie laughed. "Tell me you've never worn a durag, then tell me it's any different. Just 'cause you clearly don't care about your waves, you military little-"

"How long do you guys think they're gonna keep us here?" Scott asked, suddenly, a sort of rhythmic drumming coming from his cell.

"Until we talk, or until they find them," Clint answered, and the playful mood was dead.

Sadie thought of her mother, and how Shan would be feeling about the sudden radio silence, and the inevitable newsreels about the Avengers' arrests.

She felt suddenly guilty- spending all of this time thinking of Steve and wondering when she'd get back to him, when she should be worrying about her poor mother, who she knew needed her.

The horrible feeling in her gut hadn't gone away since she'd spoken to Shan on the phone, and she could think of a million and one things that could have gone wrong since then. Sadie had to get back to her, there was no other option.

Suddenly, the lights shut off in the chamber, and they were plunged into darkness.

Sadie stayed perfectly still then, all conversation ceasing until the lights of the cells flickered back on, and there was a flashing of red in the chamber before them. She knew it was Steve before he even spoke.

"You didn't talk," his voice echoed, as he entered the chamber, a stupid grin on his face. "And they didn't find us."

"Holy- just when I thought this couldn't get crazier!" Scott exclaimed, and Sadie couldn't help the relieved laugh to see Steve so well, so soon. She scanned behind him, expecting to see Tony, maybe Nat, maybe some guards to release them.

There was no one. Her stomach dropped, then. This wasn't a release, it was a break out. Something had gone horribly wrong.

"Alright, Cap, thanks for the smooth talk," Sam said, with a smirk. "We're still stuck in these cells."

"You tried opening them?" Steve asked, casually walking towards Sadie's cell, and lifting the bars with ease. She heard the other three cells open immediately after, Sam and Scott being the first out and into the chamber.

Sadie didn't move from where she stood, still slightly shocked by it all, trying to make sense of why Steve was here alone, what that meant for them.

She had to get back to her mom.

"They kept you chained up like this?" Steve frowned, glancing at her untouched tray of food and her gloved hands. He stepped close to her, reaching behind her back to grip her cuffed wrists, and whispered, "Brace yourself."

He pulled harshly then, snapping the metal and practically tearing away the weighted gloves, and Sadie stretched her arms out gratefully.

"Thanks," she said, with a sheepish smile, because it was all she could say. Steve only smiled back, quickly kissing her cheek before turning to jump back into the chamber. "Did you find Wanda?"

"She's with Nat," he answered, simply, to everyone's surprise.

"Nat's here?" Clint asked, from the edge of his open cell.

"I'd like to hear that story," Sam said, crossing his arms.

"Another time. Listen, I'm going to disclaim this before we go anywhere," Steve said, carefully to the team. "We're still not on the side of the law. You come with us now, they're going to hunt you down. We won't be able to stop moving, and we won't be able to go back to where we came from."

A headache was beginning to build in Sadie's forehead.

"I can't run forever," Clint said, breaking the silence. "They mentioned a plea deal earlier, if we cooperate. Maybe I could give them false info, figure it out with Laura so I still see the kids."

Steve nodded at that, the picture of stoicism, but Sadie could see the guilt written all over his face. She knew he had never wanted to leave them in Leipzig to begin with, and now that he'd tried to undo it, he couldn't. The headache in her forehead was growing, and she couldn't stop her frown.

"I... I should do the same," Scott said, regretfully. "I appreciate it, Cap- trust me. I'd stick with this team in a heartbeat, and if you ever need-"

"Alright, Tic Tac," Sam sighed. "You coming or not?"

Scott hesitated then, a look of confliction as he sighed exasperatedly, before slapping his hands against his thighs.

"Not," he said, quickly, before smacking a hand to his forehead. "I can't believe I just did that to Captain America."

"Scott," Steve said, firmly, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. "It's okay."

"I just- I have people, I- I have people."

"You're staying true to your family," Steve reassured him. "That's the most noble thing a man can do."

Scott Lang looked ready to cry, but he didn't, instead just nodding, and opting for a simple "Thanks, man," before dragging his feet back to his cell, reluctantly.

"That was way too corny for me to handle," Sam said, moving toward the security door. "I'm out before it gets worse. Cap, where are we headed?"

"Third level, you'll see Nat there, hear that story you wanted to," Steve chuckled, and Sam was gone in less than twenty seconds, a near ghost. Steve crossed the room to Sadie's cell then, placing his hands on her arms and looking her over. "You okay? They hurt you?"

"I'm fine," she said, simply. "Just a headache. Hair's been neglected. And I'm dehydrated."

Steve hummed in response, releasing her curls from their restricting elastic, tucking it behind her ears. Some of the tension in her forehead lessened then, and her eyes fell shut as he massaged her temples briefly.

"There you go," he muttered, keeping his voice low so only they could hear. "We got water on the Quinjet, and we can probably stop somewhere for the rest of your things."

"That's sweet of you," Sadie said, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. But could she join him on the Quinjet, if it meant she couldn't see her mother?

"What happened?" she asked. "Tony went to help you, I thought..." Sadie paused, shaking her head. "I thought he'd get this straight, that you could both get it straight. Didn't he find you? Couldn't he help?"

"He found us," Steve said. "But there was nothing to help. Zemo played us."

None of it made any sense to her. She had been so hopeful that after the billionaire had promised Sam he'd go as a friend, all of this chaos would be done with, coming to a happy ending.

Clearly she was wrong. What on earth had happened in that bunker?

"Do you remember when I told you I was keeping a secret from a friend?" Steve sighed, after some time.

"The night of Tony's party. After Ultron," she nodded. Sadie did remember. "Has this been going on for so long?"

"It has," Steve confirmed, and Sadie was only left more confused.

She felt stupid, for not noticing something was wrong all this time. For dropping the topic when he's brought it up, for not pressing further, for choosing to flirt instead. Her headache was getting worse, despite the short relief he had given her earlier.

"What happened?"

"I'm not proud of it," he admitted, avoiding her eyes. "I don't want to mix this... that part, with us."

"I won't judge you for it," Sadie said, letting her hands glow, letting her power ease the tension she felt in his shoulders "You know I won't. You can tell me."

"I can't," Steve said. "You'll find out anyway. He's bound to tell the world."

Sadie supposed that was all there was to say on it then. Whatever it was, this secret that he had kept from Tony, she didn't need to hear it. She could see that he was sorry.

Steve pressed a kiss to her cheek then, lowering his voice and speaking close to her ear. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"No," Sadie spoke softly, taking Steve's hands. It pained her to say it- she wanted nothing more than to go with him, wherever it was he was going to go. But she had responsibilities. "No, I gotta stay."

"Sadie, we don't know how long they're going to keep you here," he said, and suddenly his voice was fearful. Steve hesitated for a moment, before adding: "I can't leave you."

"And I can't leave my mom," she explained, with a heavy heart. "I have excellent lawyers. The ones Sav knows. Maybe I can do what Lang and Clint are trying, find a way to stay."

"Um, can I borrow some of these excellent lawyers?" Scott's voice was loud from the cell beside her.

In any other situation Sadie would laugh, but now, as she held Steve's gaze, trying to memorise the details of his eyes- azure and bright and sad under the harsh glare of the white lights- she barely heard anything else.

"I have to try. I promised her I'd come home," she explained.

Although he looked like he understood, Steve's brows were furrowed in that way they always were when he was worried. She pulled him closer then, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso and Steve embraced her in return.

At that moment, Sadie could have forgotten that she was in this prison. She could have been at home like she had imagined earlier, neither of them prisoner or fugitive. Just peach satin, and urban jazz, and moonlight.

"Where will you be?" she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Wakanda, first," Steve answered quietly, still not breaking their bear-hug. "King T'Challa has offered Bucky asylum. Thinks they can undo what HYDRA did. Then, we'll hit the road."

"You, Sam, and Nat?" Sadie smiled, fondly. "Chin up. It'll be like the old days, but without my slow ass holding you back."

"You were pretty slow back then," Steve teased, and she couldn't help but laugh. But the joy didn't last more than a second, and his voice returned grave as he spoke again. "Natasha caught wind of some international threats involving Chitauri weapons left over from New York. We're gonna try and do some good while we're gone."

"Then you go," Sadie said, leaning away only enough to look at his face once more. He rested his forehead against hers, and she closed her eyes, breathing deeply. "Maybe one day I'll catch up."

"You're here because of me," he said, and she shook her head, looking back at him. "If they charge you, you'll never get to practise again."

"You've done your job, Steve," she assured him. "You came back, you freed us. You've tried to protect me, because that's the sort of man you are. But, I'm choosing to stay. For my mom. She's more important than anything."

Her mother was even more important than the two of them, and the intense care she felt for Steve and the fact that she knew she would miss him horribly when they parted.

Her mom was more important than her degree, and her job, and her medical license, even though Sadie had no idea what else she could possibly do with her life. Her mom was more important than heartbreak, and unemployment, and a criminal record.

Her mom was everything to her.

And so, naturally, Sadie would sacrifice it all. For the chance that she could see her again.

Steve scanned her face, and there was a moment of blue eyes looking into brown as she continued to hold his gaze, unwaveringly, letting him know she was sure. Her own eyes were threatening to leak tears, but she held them back, staying strong for him.

"Two minutes, Steve," a familiar voice said through the comms. They both ignored Natasha's words. "Get who you're getting and get out of there."

"There's nothing I can do to convince you?" Steve asked, but there wasn't a lot of hope in his face.

When she shook her head, he pulled her even closer in a tight embrace, and she enabled the familiar scent of his cologne. His eyes flitted back and forth from her lips to her eyes, before he asked her a quiet, simple, sweet question.

"May I?"

Sadie didn't know why he asked it, why he didn't take her non-verbal consent and just kiss her how he always did, how she always wanted him to. But she didn't dwell on it for long, because it was sweet, and it was charming, and she wanted to pause that moment forever.

"You may," Sadie smiled, and he leant in further, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

Her hands found their way into his hair as he pulled her even closer, and Sadie could feel herself melting. It wasn't a fiery kiss, it wasn't urgent or lustful. It wasn't playful and excited like their kisses usually were.

Instead, it was careful, gentle, and slow as they both savoured the feeling, and there was an overhanging of regret at their separation. But it was necessary, she knew that. Her hands glowed involuntarily as they always did, but it was a soft glow, not nearly as feverish, but relaxed.

Sadie felt like she was floating. She could practically feel her heartbeat slow and her body relax as she finally came to realise what it was she felt for him.

This deep care, and respect, and admiration- it was more than she had expected, more than she'd ever thought it was, and it crushed her to realise it.

It destroyed her, in that moment, to realise how much she loved him, when they were headed for separation.

It terrified her completely- she hadn't loved in so long, and now here it was, inescapable.

Love had destroyed Isadora Moore every time it entered her life. Why was she surprised it should do so now?

They parted only slightly, foreheads resting against each other, and instantly Sadie was longing for more of him.

She gazed into Steve's eyes, sapphire and beautiful, and thought about how she would live without seeing him for long, when she could hardly stand several days.

"You're making it harder and harder for me to say no when you look at me like that," she told him jokingly, although her heart was sinking. That was how this conversation was- fleeting, glorious moments of joy, before they were shocked back to reality. "I'll hear from you?"

"The old fashioned way," he answered, with a small smile. "Keep an eye on your mail."

"Send me your drawings," Sadie said, the only demand she would make of him.

Even though she wished she could demand that he stay. Just a minute longer.

Steve nodded, stepping back away from her. Her hands dropped to her sides, empty. He looked like he had something to say, like the words were trying to rip from him.

Whatever it was, she'd never know- he held them back just as she held back her own thoughts. An unspoken agreement, to keep each other strong.

"Wait for me," he said, his voice rushed, his expression soft, pleading.

She knew the implication. Even Steve didn't know how long he'd be gone.

"I will," Sadie said, honestly.

They fell silent then, the space between them feeling like miles.

"Hey," she said, gently. "Cheer up. You have Sam, and Nat, and Wanda. And Bucky, remember? You always wanted Bucky back."

"I did. But now I won't have you," he said, honestly, and Sadie's heart shattered even further.

"Cap," Nat again, on the comms. "Cap, you have less than a minute!"

It was a timer for his escape, they both knew that. But for the two of them, it was a reminder of what they were giving up. Steve looked between her and the doorway, his body halfway to leaving, but hesitant. There was noise, people approaching.

"It's okay. You can go," Sadie assured him, because it was. An alarm blared, flashes of red light filling the room, but Steve still wasn't moving. The people were getting louder, closer. "What are you doing? There's only one exit! Go!"

Steve moved fast in her direction, pulling her harshly into him, kissing her again, harder, firmer, in a way that made her knees weak. The kind of kiss that made her feel electric. When he was finished, Sadie's chest was heaving.

"Wait for me," he said again, and turned to go, sprinting in the direction his friends had gone.

Sadie watched his shadow until it disappeared, watched as the guards spilled into the room, pointing guns toward her empty cell, scanning the room for any sign of Steve, but she knew already that he was long gone.

Sadie put her hands behind her head, didn't move until her cell was locked again, didn't talk while they interrogated her, demanded she tell them where the 'intruders' went. She insisted she wouldn't speak without a lawyer, kept her face brave.

It was only when the guards had left them all, and silence settled among the cells that she felt her eyes burning and the tears fell without permission as she put her head in her hands.

"He'll be okay," Clint's voice was filled with surety, and she glanced up to see him still sat in his own cell. She wiped her tears. "They all will. You'll see him soon."

But already, Sadie was longing for one more kiss.

. . .

. .

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So um.... that happened.

This chapter was long as hell, but I think we've all established at this point that my writing is just hella rambly. Like damn, I don't know if the bedsheets thing is stupid or poetic, and yes. We are still talking about Sadie's hair because let's be real- she was not expecting all this, and it ain't braided, and there's no way it wouldn't be the most uncomfortable experience ever to not have been able to comb your natural hair for like... three days at this point. Chiilee she probably looks so bad.

Also can you tell I love Sam Wilson because I love Sam Wilson and honestly AoU was probably some of the most boring shit to write because he wasn't in it so CW has actually been a blessing

To touch on the whole sexual harassment thing- I was watching a documentary about female prisoners in the United States, and sexual assault was a big topic, something that actually just broke my heart. I couldn't help but thinking- if these women were able to stand up for each other, they'd be able to serve their sentences in a more just, and humane way. So I thought I could at least give Sadie and Wanda that camaraderie, for all the women who don't have it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, even if it was a little brutal! I've had that goodbye scene written for months now, along with the contents of the next couple chapters so I'm so freaking excited to share it all with you! I love crushing Sadie's dreams hehehe

Let me know your thoughts, and Happy New Year!

-Amber.