NINETEEN

WORRIES
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"Don't touch that gate!" Natasha's voice caused Sadie to stumble to an abrupt stop, the obstacle before her as high as her chest. "We're trying to be efficient here. You could spend even thirty seconds trying to break that lock and that's enough to compromise yourself."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Sadie snapped, turning to face where Natasha stood and watched her, clipboard and stopwatch in hand.

"Anything that isn't higher than your head, you can jump," she said simply, and Sadie couldn't help but laugh.

The obstacle course Natasha had prepared for her was long, and hard, and apparently very accurate to your average mission. Wanda had breezed through it, using her powers to bend things out of shape and move obstacles at her will. Sam had no problems at all, easily leaping and sliding and climbing his way to the finish line. 

But Sadie had been trying, and failing all day.

"I can't jump that," Sadie argued. "I'm not all that short you know- most things aren't higher than my head."

"It's not about height," Natasha shrugged, setting down the clipboard. Natasha ran at full speed then towards the barrier, leaping easily over it as if it were a mere hurdle. "It's about speed, and power."

"Can't you use your mimicry?" Sam asked, from where he and Wanda sat, swigging bottles of water, and just watching. "You can't copy Wanda?"

"No," Sadie said. "I can only mimic what I truly understand. Mimicry isn't just copying, it's different."

"Different how?" Wanda asked, and Sadie felt for once as if she wouldn't sound completely incompetent.

"My relationship with this mimicry almost symbiotic," she said, trying not to sound too insane. "Like it has its own, I don't know, intelligence? It works from what I visualise, what my strengths are. So being a doctor, I can heal people. I gotta know in detail what it is I'm trying to do. But I feel like the mimicry learns from itself, too. Like everytime I cast a forcefield, it gets stronger, and in Seoul I could suddenly use that force in combat. It's like a muscle. Grows as I work it."

A muscle that sometimes felt so separate to her being. Sadie had become so close to accepting that, until Savannah had returned and she'd been shocked back to reality. Reminded exactly what these powers could inflict if she didn't keep a tight rein on them. The understanding she'd come to- the revelation that her mimicry had just as much of a mind as she did, terrified her.

She wouldn't show it.

"Let's take ten," Natasha said, and Sadie was snapped back out of her thoughts.

"I'm staying behind," Sadie said, to Natasha as Sam made his way out. Wanda still lingered where she stood. "I wanna finish this course."

"Don't over-exert yourself," Natasha reminded her, shrugging nonchalantly as she walked away, but Sadie knew she cared.

That left only her and Wanda. Sadie took a drink of water.

"I think you should embrace it," Wanda said. "I think you shouldn't be afraid. No matter what happened in the past."

"Stop reading me," Sadie said,"It's not fair."

"I can't help it," Wanda said, looking somewhat embarrassed.

Sadie felt immediately guilty. Just because she was insecure about that part of her, she didn't have to inflict that on the young woman before her.  "Sorry, I understand."

"There's some people- you, Stark, Rogers..." a pause. "My brother. Your thoughts are so... loud. I can't always tune them out. You worry about your mother. Stark worries about- well, everything. My brother used to have no worries at all," Wanda laughed fondly at that.

Sadie laughed too, thinking of the quick witted boy who had made her smile so much. Then a moment passed, and the joy was gone.

"You want to know what Steve worries about," Wanda said, suddenly. "You want to know how you can fix it."

"No, I-" Sadie didn't know how to argue with someone like Wanda. How could someone lie to a person like Wanda Maximoff?

"You can't fix it," Wanda told her, and Sadie was stunned. "One of his worries is about you."

~

Steve woke up to an earthquake. There was a rumbling, and a vibration, and yet he wasn't shocked awake. It took him a moment to realise- he'd left the phone Tony had given him beneath his pillow, and now it was ringing.

He picked it up, eyes watering slightly from the blinding light; he didn't bother checking the name on the screen. Whoever it was, the conversation would be short lived- this was one of the rare nights where he'd tired himself out to the point where he'd been sleeping deeply, and without nightmare memories. Instead, he'd dreamt of peace.

"Hello?" Steve said, trying to keep his tone open.

"I'm sorry to wake you," the voice was Sadie's, soft and sleepy. Any annoyance at his disturbed sleep melted away. "I'm having a tough night."

"It's okay," he answered, sitting up and stifling his yawn so she wouldn't hear. "I'm awake. Couldn't sleep anyways."

"My mom had her first surgery today," Sadie said, tightly.

"Oh," Steve said, making sure he sounded hopeful, despite her melancholic tone. If he assumed the worst, so would she, if the outcome was still uncertain. "How'd it go?"

"Strange managed to resect more of the tumour than originally planned," she explained.

"That's great," he answered, honestly. "You said this guy was the best you could get, right?"

"Right," she said, but her voice was thick with worry. "Then why hasn't she woken up yet?"

He couldn't give her the answer. They both knew that- her guess would be a million times better than his. In that moment, Steve wished he had all the medical knowledge in the world if it meant he could reassure her.

But then, how many doctors did Sadie know? If she wanted to brainstorm, there was always Adrianne, or this infamous Strange himself, so why had she called Steve? No, she wanted something different from him. Comfort, perhaps.

"If she's anything like you then I know she's strong. Give it some time," Steve said, still feeling as though his words were inadequate. "Are you okay, Sadie?"

"Yeah, I just..." she was trailing off. He could hear it in her voice, that she'd been crying. " I've just been in my own head for hours, and... It's not a great place to be right now."

Steve was wide awake now. "What do you need?"

"Just help me think about anything else," Sadie said, and he finally felt useful.

"Okay," he said, thinking for a moment. "I'm coming over."

"Hey, it's a long way-"

"I could do with a break from this place," he explained , already standing to change. "I'll stay on the line, pick up some stuff on the way."

"I... don't know what to say," Sadie laughed, sadly.

"Don't say anything," he said, before adding truthfully: "You're always doing things for everyone else. Let somebody do something for you for once."

"Stop, or I'll cry," Sadie said, and sure enough her voice was wobbly. Steve just wanted to hold her. He'd have to make a point of it when he arrived.

"Give me twenty minutes."

~

Sadie's heart and mind felt so heavy, and her body felt even worse. Her head was pounding from the endless tears and panic attacks from the night and she felt like she'd been run over by a thousand trucks. In fact, she'd been so convinced that she'd contracted something, that she'd had Adrianne give her a check up, only for her friend to come to one conclusion.

Sadie was 'doing too much'.

One positive of it all, though, was that her condition was not contagious, and so she could have Steve Rogers kindly visit her half an hour past midnight. A part of her felt awful, she knew he had very strict routine, just like her, and that he'd want to be awake early. But a larger part of her was glad to hear the knock on her apartment door that told her she wasn't alone.

He didn't say a word when she let him in, only set down the bag and takeaway cups from some kind of express machine in his hands. He looked extremely sleepy, with his uncombed hair, and his half-smile, and Sadie felt impossibly guilty for a moment. But Steve took her in his arms, regardless of her selfishness.

Sadie could've stayed like that forever, really. He was warm, and his sweater was soft, and he made her feel something that wasn't immense worry and panic. For the first time months, she thought nothing of surgery, or cancer, or work, or training, or her strained relationship with her sister. She thought not even of the clutter in her apartment, or the mess she looked- she thought of nothing but the feeling of his arms around her.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, Steve Rogers," she said, and she could feel the fast beat of his heart. Perhaps he'd taken the stairs on the way up.

"It's nothing," he chuckled. "Take your cocoa."

Sadie didn't know what to say to that, so she stayed quiet, as she reluctantly parted from him. "It was good of you to come."

"What can I say- I was waiting for an excuse to see you before tomorrow," he grinned, reaching to unload the bags he brought and her guilt was made even worse. If he hadn't mentioned it, she would've forgotten all about their plans to visit some of the many Long Island amusement parks in the evening.

"You didn't have to do all this," Sadie said honestly, observing the contents of the bags. Marshmallows to go with the hot chocolate, and Italian bread and butter. "Really."

"Stop that kind of talk, alright?" he said. "Let me look after you."

"Fine. But you better stop that kinda talk," Sadie said, with a chuckle, walking over to the couch and settling herself down. The laugh sounded hollow in her ears. "Every word you're saying is some sappy crap."

Sadie didn't know why she said that. She wanted him to keep talking that way all that night, and all the next day, and every time they were alone together.

Steve shook his head, but he was already done slicing up the bread. "What d'you wanna do?"

She hummed. "I wanna watch a movie."

"You got something lined up?"

"Poetic Justice," she said, nodding to the television.

"Is it a sad one?" he asked, setting the platter of bread down on the coffee table, and sitting beside her. She moved up closer to him, shared the blanket between them.

"It's a sad one," Sadie shrugged. "It's got some dark themes. I don't know how much you'd like some of the characters. But it's about love. And family."

"Love and family," Steve repeated. "That doesn't sound so sad."

Sadie could've laughed at that, sure that when they started, he wouldn't feel that way by the end of the opening scene.

"I think we can all gain some education from it, let's just say that," she said, resting her head on his chest.

Sadie was reminded, then, of how she'd sat next to her mother only three hours ago, listening to her heart monitor, watching the faint activity. But Steve's heart- it was loud, and strong, and it was a relief to not have to worry about hearing a flatline.

She felt awful for it.

"Y'know, you were in my dream just now," he said, looping his fingers softly through her curls. She closed her eyes

"I thought you couldn't sleep, Steve," Sadie teased. "So, which is the lie?"

"Shut up," he said, cheekily. But Sadie didn't mind it, because of the laugh he said it with. He continued on. "You were baking a pie."

"Good Lord, no wonder you were shocked awake," Sadie said sipping on her hot chocolate. "I can't bake worth anything."

"Ah," Steve smiled. "That explains why the apple tasted like tomato."

"Who else was in this dream?" she asked.

"No one," he said, and she looked up at him. His eyes looked like starlight. "It was just us."

Sadie thought about it then. With their closeness, and his comfort, and that look in his eyes, and the feeling in her chest- it all made her think about it, for a brief, insane moment. She tore her eyes away from his lips. She wouldn't abuse it, this kindness Steve had shown her. She wouldn't take advantage, make him feel obligated.

And so the movie began, and she didn't have to try to focus. Her usually loud brain had quieted, and she didn't know if it was the exhaustion, the hour, or the company. But somehow, despite everything, Sadie Moore felt at peace.

...
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Hmmm, not gonna lie guys this one feels weak. Its a little short but I popped in a power explanation for those of you who asked, and Stadie fluff for everyone else, ahaha

How are you all feeling?I love hearing from/about you guys!

Also, pls let me know what you thought of this chapter! Feedback- especially CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is greatly appreciated!

-Amber.

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