WHITE LIES AND STEEL DRUMS
.

To say the night had ended with tension was an understatement. Sadie had stood quietly in the lab, listening to the group as they disagreed and formed plans and got started 'making the world smaller'. When she had helped as best she could with research, and the team turned in for the night, she had planned to simply take a taxi home.

Instead, Steve had insisted that he'd give her a ride to her apartment, because he wasn't a man to break a promise, and Sadie was far too exhausted to argue. And so they drove in a car she wasn't even sure was his, making her wonder- did the Avengers have company cars? Rain lashed down on the world outside.

In fact, the rain was so aggressive, that once they arrived outside of Sadie's apartment block, they were both practically trapped. It was too wet for her to get out of the car, and Steve couldn't drive away until she was gone. And so they were forced to sit there, at what was probably the early hours of the morning now, and wait for the rain to stop. Sadie thought that probably wasn't such a terrible predicament.

The rain spattered down sporadically, the sound of the drumming above them metallic and aggressive. Sadie tried to make out shapes in the splashes on the windshield but the shower was far too fast. She closed her eyes, focusing on the noise, feeling Steve's eyes on her. The downpour was like an upbeat percussion, and she didn't know if she was delirious from drink or adrenaline- but it was reminding her strangely of the melodic steel drums of her Jamaican upbringing.

Sadie felt a smile tug at her lips as she began to shift her hips and bob her head in time with the music she imagined in her mind. She knew it was bizarre, and unusual, and that after the events of that evening, she should not have this energy. Again, she had no idea if it was drink or adrenaline, but all Sadie wanted to do was dance. She felt Steve's gaze on her once more.

When she looked at him, his expression was soft, his usually permanently furrowed brow relaxed and the curve of his lips pulled upwards in a small smile. And his eyes- God, the whole world was in those eyes.

Sadie was glad her dark skin masked the rush of blood to her cheeks as she stopped her strange movements. "You don't have to stop."

"I'm just a little tipsy. And the rhythm's changed now anyway," she said quietly, leaning her head back and closing her eyes once more. "It just reminded me of my childhood."

Sadie wondered if it was a desire to forget about the fight that had taken place, or tune out of his undoubtedly busy brain which was probably still coming up with plans against Ultron, but something made Steve ask her to elaborate. "How?"

"Well, our family home was real humble," she started, already knowing that she would end up putting in far too many details in her rambly way, but still not bothering to correct it.  "We grew up in a project house- two bedrooms so we doubled up- a bathroom without a sink, a kitchen with a sink, and a water closet of a living room."

"But you enjoyed it there?" Steve asked her, and Sadie couldn't help the smile on her face at the memory, as she gazed at the empty road ahead, water ricocheting off the ground with force.

"So much. My mom was real good with DIY and she managed make the place look pretty expensive on the inside. She's where I get my love of decor," Sadie told him. Steve was still looking at her. "And Dad had these steel drums- my sister always used to play them when he wasn't watching, then dart behind the couch and hide when he turned around- like a game of peek-a-boo."

"I never knew you had a sister," Steve said, and that's when Sadie realised she had said too much. Maybe she should've stopped herself after all.

She took a breath, pushing back the images of her house in flames, her family looking at her with hurt and betrayal written all over their faces- your fault. She looked down at lines on her palms.

"There was a fire, and we didn't talk much after that," Sadie said, without much more detail than that. Because how could she tell him it was a fire she'd started? She flexed her hands, watching them glow, and hoped he would fill in the gaps on his own. "They got out of control."

"That's what was in those files?" Steve asked her, and she nodded.

"I thought I could control these powers for casual use, but I was wrong, and arrogant," Sadie sighed, remembering how the tiny flame she'd intended for a candle, had blown up into a roaring fire. "So in the end... I split up the family."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she could hear the pity in Steve's voice and didn't want to look at him. She wished she could turn back time in that conversation to when he was looking at her like she was a rarity, not... this.

"Ew, I get existential when I drink. Let's talk about something else like- oh! Thor's hammer," Sadie said quickly, changing the topic. Steve immediately looked away, the first time since he'd pulled over. "I saw it move. You could've lifted it."

"I couldn't. I did try, but it only gave a little," Steve explained, and Sadie rolled her eyes. Surely he must've been holding back- she'd seen the strength of him in action on multiple occasions now.

"Y'know, I really find that hard to believe," Sadie teased, but she was being truthful. "Mr Modest."

"No, Isadora, really. If it's down to worth like Thor says it is..." he hesitated, and Sadie wanted to explain that he was worth the world, to so many people. And to her. "Let's just say I'm keeping a pretty dark secret from a pretty good friend."

"So why keep it?" she asked, cautious of oversimplification. "I mean, can't you hash it out?"

"It doesn't work that way," Steve said. "It's for his own good."

"A white lie?" she asked him.

"I... suppose."

She pondered this for a moment. "Ever tell any white lies to me?"

"Never," Steve's answer was quick and simple, and took her aback. He seemed to notice too, and he leaned back in his seat once more, his voice much more relaxed. "I plan to keep it that way."

Sadie didn't know what to say to that, but Steve held her gaze, unwavering.

"Guess I get existential too," he said, with a playful shrug and she couldn't help the laugh that escaped her.

They sat in peaceful quiet for a moment, and Sadie noticed the rain had stopped, so she gathered her things ready to leave. She thought about Ultron, and his insane threats, and that team of heroes in Avengers Tower who all seemed to have each other's backs, but were all far too willing to get hurt. Steve included.

"This all sounds like something big," Sadie warned him. "You gotta save yourself while you save the world. Look after yourself."

"I'll consider that, Doc," he joked, putting a smile on her face once more. "But, you do the same. It's tough, what you're going through. And if you need me, I'm there. I don't want you thinking I'm too busy."

"I'll consider that, Cap," Sadie said, as cheerfully as she could, but it didn't come out how she wanted it to. Maybe now was a time for sincerity. She sighed, glancing back at him. "Thank you, Steve."

Then, she forced herself to hop out of the car and rushed into her apartment lobby, turning back only to give Steve a wave goodbye.

Somehow, despite the chaos of the night, the bad memories that had resurfaced, and the worries of her mother's condition- Sadie couldn't get the smile Steve gave her off her face. She even tried frowning in the mirror as she brushed her teeth, but even that made her laugh. So she settled with sending Adrianne a text, as she had promised:

SADIE
Got home a while ago- forgot to text.
Steve dropped me off safe.

ADRIANNE
and here's me just waking
up for an early shift :(

ADRIANNE
had a good night?

SADIE
uh. a robot came to life
in the after party

SADIE
but until that point, yes.

ADRIANNE
i'll call tomorrow. i want full details
of living robots. and also
cute super soldiers

SADIE
hmm the former I can do, the latter...
there's nothing to tell :)

ADRIANNE
sure. I hope you left something
in the car so he has to drop by
and give it to you.

SADIE
I'm sorry to report I did
no such thing ma'am!

ADRIANNE
god have you learned
nothing from me??

ADRIANNE
hate your guts
💕✨💜😊❤️💛😘🧡💞

SADIE
love ya guts
🧡😘💜❤️🌟💞😍

~

Sadie had warned Adrianne not to date a veterinarian. Back when they were in med school, she'd told her friend: anyone who decides they wanna treat dogs and horses for a living has a heart too pure for you.

And it was still true. Sadie had known Adrianne for almost ten years. They'd both started med school two years early- the youngest in their cohort and therefore the easiest targets to make fun of. While Sadie had planned to deal with this by keeping her head down and not complaining, Adrianne always had a fiery- and often brutal- response to every patronising remark concerning their age.

Throughout their internship too, Adrianne was a complete shark, and Sadie was sure the only reason why she didn't fall victim to it was because of how much they cared about each other. That, and the practical fact that the two doctors were no threat to one another, having chosen different routes in their careers- surgery and diagnostics.

The two of them had brought out the best in each other- Adrianne had taught Sadie how to stay firm and stand up for herself, and Sadie had taught Adrianne how to pick her battles. So when Adrianne had told her all those years ago that she was dating a veterinarian, Sadie had told her: anyone who decides they wanna treat dogs and horses for a living has a heart too pure for you.

And despite it being true, Sadie was glad her best friend never took her advice to heart. Jamie Valentina was the perfect choice for Adrianne. And the couple had given her the most amazing god-children. 

Even now, as Sadie lay upside down on Adrianne's bed, top-to-toe in between the surgeon and her husband, Jamie Valentina was extremely gracious, allowing her to invade their home and vent her dilemmas. On the condition that she bring breakfast, of course.

General rule of thumb: to make Jamie Valentina happy, bring pancakes.

"These are delicious," Jamie said, still digging in to the gourmet pancakes Sadie had picked up from a nearby eatery. It was around eleven AM, and Sadie had invaded the Valentina home for two main reasons:

The first, was that Sadie had taken a leave of absence due to her mom's diagnosis. She hadn't wanted to take the time off but Helen Cho had insisted, telling Sadie that her mind itself was absent with all she had to deal with. And conveniently, Adrianne had booked her holidays for the same time. Sadie remembered that the Latin woman had been saving her leave for summer, and regardless of how much she tried to hide it, Sadie knew Adrianne had used them up in order to be there for her.

The second reason was that Adrianne had decided that Sadie shouldn't be alone, further proving Sadie's hypothesis. The hospital visiting hours were hardly flexible, and Sadie had to admit, when she wasn't at her mother's side, she was simply riddled with worry. It was like when Sadie was alone, her mind just went on a field trip- there was so much to be scared about. Her mother's condition, Ultron's threats, the dangerous missions that Steve would be on.

"I don't think you should concern yourself about it," Adrianne told her, before opening her mouth for Jamie to pop a blueberry in. "I mean, you said he's been after those HYDRA guys all year and he survived that."

"HYDRA just wanted him dead," Sadie sighed, staring up at the ceiling. She hated that she was worried about this. "Ultron wants them all extinct."

"I don't understand the difference here," Jamie chuckled. "Dead, extinct- it's all the same isn't it?"

"This just feels bigger," Sadie said. "Nobody wants a repeat of New York. And Steve isn't as invincible as people think."

"You should have more faith," Adrianne said. Sadie didn't bother explaining that she had all the faith in the world when it came to Steve Rogers. "He's just as good at his job as we are at ours."

"Speaking of, I know I shouldn't ask  for updates outside of the hospital, but-"

"My neurosurgeons are getting really close with the surgical plan for Momma Moore. We should be able to perform the surgery in the next few weeks," Adrianne explained, and before Sadie could even open her mouth to ask, she added: "And no, you can't watch from the gallery. But don't worry- I'll be there."

"Do your Avenger friends know about all this, by the way? Your mom's diagnosis?" Jamie spoke up, out of nowhere. Upon seeing the look on Sadie's face, he chuckled awkwardly. "I just mean- I don't know, it seems important you tell them."

"Well, uh, a few know," Sadie answered, sitting up, unsure what to say. She could tell Jamie was worried about her, but he had no real reason to be. "Steve, and Nat, and whoever else asked why I'm off work. And obviously Helen knows. She kinda has to."

"And they're there for you?" Jamie asked, his face full of a brotherly concern. "If you needed them, they'd come?"

"I mean, they kinda have responsibilities-"

"If the world wasn't in danger, and you called them," Jamie clarified, still not dropping her gaze. "Would they come?"

Sadie thought on that for a moment before answering. It didn't take her long to come to the conclusion she did.

"I have no reason to think they wouldn't. Nat's kind enough, and Steve came when I didn't even call," Sadie answered truthfully, flopping down into her previous lying position. "Said he's not too busy for me."

"Not too busy?" Adrianne snorted. "He better not be 'too busy'. Especially if he's ever going to make this thing official."

"There is no thing, to make official," Sadie clarified, although she could feel heat rising to her cheeks.

"Beep, beep, beep," Jamie said, and Sadie rolled her eyes- the man was a walking sound effect. "That's my built-in lie detector going off. There is one hundred percent a thing."

"Stop giving me ideas," Sadie laughed, aiming kicks at both her friends as she switched on the television. Jamie instantly took the remote and began flicking through channels. "We got a good thing going on, no need to... complicate it."

"A good thing, huh?" Adrianne proceeded to put on her most theatrical sing-song voice. "So there's a thing going on!"

Sadie didn't know if there was a thing going on. But she knew that with everything that was happening, from her mother's diagnosis to Ultron, neither Sadie nor Steve would be all that emotionally available even if there were something. The truth was, Sadie felt a deep admiration and respect for Steve, and she would even go as far as to say it was most likely reciprocated. But that was all, she was sure. That was about as far as it went.

Sadie wasn't sure how to explain all of that to her friends, so instead she just said, "I'm going to miss visiting hours," as she pulled herself up and off the bed, taking a slice of French toast with her.

"Uh, Sadie," Jamie's voice was slow and unsure, causing her to pause on her way out. "You ought to see this."

The television was on a news channel, showing a city in chaos. Collapsed buildings, people with ashen faces being pulled from under rubble, and worst of all- a casualty count which was too high. Sadie squinted, shoving what was left of her toast in her mouth and putting on her glasses for a better look at the headline: Avengers Duel Levels Johannesburg. She almost choked.

"Earlier today, the apparent heroes known as Tony Stark's 'Iron Man', and Dr Bruce Banner's 'Hulk' engaged in uncontrollable conflict, right here, in civilian territory," the news reporter, a young man at the scene explained. "So far, there have been an ever growing number of casualties and an even larger list of missing persons."

The rest of the reporter's speech was blurred as Sadie tuned out and fumbled for her phone in her pocket, instantly ringing Steve's number- voicemail. She tried Natasha- voicemail.

"Nat, I've just seen what happened on the news, were you there?" Sadie said, after the beep. "Just call me back, okay? This looks really bad."

"What the hell have they done?" Adrianne asked as Sadie finished her recording.

"There'll be an explanation," Sadie said, but she couldn't think of anything that could excuse this damage. Why would they bring out the Hulk, anywhere near a civilian population? Since when were the people she knew so irresponsible?

Almost on cue, her phone vibrated in her hand, and instantly Sadie looked down to see Steve's name on the screen, accompanied with a photograph she'd taken of him at the farmer's market that fall. Golden glow of sunlight, a golden smile, golden skin and golden hair and above all, a golden memory she'd cherish. Before all of this. She picked up the phone.

"Hello? Steve, are you okay?" Sadie could feel Adrianne and Jamie watching her. She turned her back to the television. "I just saw the news."

"We're all fine, Isadora," Steve's voice was strange and distant, the usual character of it was gone, and it sounded almost as if he was reading from a speech he'd prepared for himself. "Mission didn't go to plan, but we're okay."

"You don't sound okay," she said, resisting the urge to bite her nails. "Talk to me."

"I'm..." a moment of hesitation. Sadie wished he were here so she could read his face. "I gotta go. I'll see you when we're back in New York," he replied, and before she could argue, the phone cut off.

Sadie wanted to yell at him for hanging up on her like that. When he was back in New York? When the hell would that be? And what was she supposed to do in the meantime, while her friends were completely AWOL? The answer came all too quickly.

"A statement has not yet been made by Tony Stark or his company, for that matter," a different man on the screen said. "The Stark Relief Foundation is on the scene- but what's the use of sending aid after you've injured everyone? And what's the use if there's a shortage of doctors to help those you hurt?"

Without a word, Adrianne and Sadie's eyes met across the room, an unspoken conversation taking place between them. This wouldn't be the first time they'd given aid on foreign soil, although it would be the first time since Sadie got her powers all those years ago. First time since Afghanistan.

"Baby, you'll look after the kids?" Adrianne said to her husband, who simply pecked her on the cheek and told her that of course he would.

Sadie drove them, all the way through the busy New York streets to Avengers Tower, where already they could see Quinjets landing and leaving. The entire building was full of volunteers in red Stark Relief polos, and it didn't take long for Sadie and Adrianne to get their hands on two labelled 'doctor' and 'surgeon'. They made their way to the landing pad without any problems, Sadie knowing every access code on the way.

"How long can the two of you stay there?" a woman with a clipboard asked, after noting down their names.

"I can do four days," Adrianne said, to Sadie's surprise. The surgeon clarified: "I got five days leave."

"And Doctor Moore?"

"Zero days," a familiar voice interrupted, and Sadie spun around to see Maria Hill, wearing a grave expression. "Not until you do what we need you for."

"What could possibly be more important than this?" Sadie argued, her blood boiling. Would her skills be limited just like they were at SHIELD, when they told her where she could and couldn't be, and who she could and couldn't treat?

"The Avengers are compromised," Maria told her, firmly. "We don't know much, but we know they need treatment."

"That's still not gonna cut it," Sadie said, angrily. "Maria, come on! They're superheroes- how many injuries have they healed from and survived? These people are civilians- they don't even know how to stop bleeding!"

"This time it's different, Isadora," Maria said, firmly. "This time, someone got in their brains."

Sadie frowned, trying to understand the vagueness of the statement. She'd heard about it before- some enhanced individual on the side of HYDRA? Or now Ultron? Mind control and telekinesis, perhaps this was the explanation then, for all of what the news was showing... but did that overpower the needs of those civilians?

"You go," Adrianne told her, after apparently seeing the conflict Sadie felt in her face. Her best friend could always read her like a book. "I got this."

Sadie took a deep breath, giving herself a mental reminder to give Adrianne the most love ever when they leave, and arrive back, and any day past that.

"Brief me."

...
..
.

I'm not entirely sure about this chapter- it's kind of filler to get Sadie from point A to point B but I tried to still keep plot progression by revealing some of her past with the house fire, and introducing the minor character of Jamie Valentina- trying to web out Sadie's social circle further than just MCU characters :)

Hope you liked it, if you have any feedback then please let me know!!

-Amber.