{Keeri}✨ Unexpected Teenage
🍓Dive into "Unexpected Teenage"! It's filled with intriguing elements and captivating love triangle!!! Happy reading!🍓
🍓Title : 4.5/5
•The title “Unexpected Teenage” is pretty good.
•It's unique and stands out from other book titles easily.
•The title is really memorable. It's short, simple, yet impactful. It makes it not only easy to remember but also intriguing enough to capture potential readers' attention.
•It might imply that the teenage years did not go as planned and were marked by unexpected twists and turns which exactly happened to Yeha in the story.
•But I do suggest adding, ‘our’ or ‘my’ to the title, like - ‘My unexpected teenage’ referring to Yeha’s life or ‘Our unexpected teenage’ referring to all four important characters of the story. But still, it's merely my opinion. And the author doesn't really have to note it up if she doesn't like it.
🍓Cover : 5/5
•This type of cover is something I really love.
•It doesn't have too many descriptive elements that are hard to see, nor is it too plain.
•It's bright, simple, yet appealing. I don't know about other readers, but since I love this type of cover, I don't have much to say. Though, it might vary from different readers' perspectives.
•The first cover you had was actually pretty good too, but it felt like it had 2000s vibes and didn't relate much to the story which is set in 2024. But the current cover is really bright and good at grabbing attention.
•The title is well noticeable, with the font looking good and the author's name is visible enough to see. The girl on the cover represents Yeha. It's all good. Good job! 💓
🍓Blurb : 1/5
•I feel like the blurb could have been better written. Let me point out the original one below.
_________
"For the people, who are struggling with thier teen life."
A 17 year old korean girl school student experiences some unexpected events in her life including love and family. Who will she choose? Nam Seon Ho or Kim Jesper. Will she be able to save her parents? And find the truth?
Chapter 13 preview --
"Dance with me as if the world doesn't exist" Jesper added.
The romantic ambiance was enhanced by the calming melody that enveloped the air. All eyes were fixed on us as we gracefully glided across the floor. Suddenly, Jesper gently tugged me back, and I found myself safely nestled in his embrace.
*THIS NOVEL IS USES THE 'KONGLISH' LANGUAGE*
GO AHEAD AND OPEN THE PAGES OF MOOH YE-HA'S LIFE.
___________
•First, let's see the spelling mistakes.
"For the people, who are struggling with thier teen life” - here, it should be ‘their’ and then, “Who will she choose? Nam Seon Ho or Kim Jesper.” - Here, adding a question mark at the end will be more good, like : “Who will she choose? Nam Seon Ho or Kim Jesper?”
"Dance with me as if the world doesn't exist" Jesper added. - Here, adding a comma after ‘exist’ will make the blurb look more professional. Like - "Dance with me as if the world doesn't exist," Jesper added.
*THIS NOVEL IS USES THE 'KONGLISH' LANGUAGE* - Here, ‘is’ shouldn't be added, and instead, it should be, *This Novel Uses The 'Konglish' Language*
•Now, let's talk about the actual issue. I feel like the blurb could have been written much better considering how amazing the plot of the story is. The current one, if I have to be honest with you as a reviewer, isn't making me interested enough to come and read the book.
•The author could have provided a more detailed description of Yeha’s situation of losing her parents, rather than only asking ‘Will she be able to find her parents?” There isn't much context about what is really happening in the plot.
•But the description of the story you provided in your form, the same one in the ‘unexpected teenage’ chapter, is truly fantastic. It clearly tells the readers what might happen and what are the things they can look forward to, including the love triangle twist. It seems to be more well suited for the blurb, but with a bit of summarisation of all the paragraphs.
•Overall, I hope the author could work on her blurb soon to attract more readers into reading her story.
🍓Character development : 2.5/5
•Each character was great, and I really loved the distinctive names they all had.
•However, when it comes to character development, I didn't see much.
•What I want to discuss are the characters' personalities and emotions. I really found it hard to understand their emotions and personalities.
•From my perspective, in the initial chapters, Yeha seemed like a good girl with some clumsiness, Jamie appeared as a cool and supportive friend to Yeha, Jesper was portrayed as a bad boy and school bully, and Seonhu as an academic focused student.
•However, as the story progressed, their personalities seemed to crumble, except for Yeha's.
•Jamie didn't seem to be portrayed well as Yeha's close and best friend who cares for her deeply.
•As for Jesper, his personality also shifted in various scenes. While he was initially shown as a bully, it didn't align with his emotions even though he treated his sister and Yeha more well. For instance, when Jesper suddenly started crying when Yeha was admitted to the hospital, the author could have built up his emotions better. Perhaps he could have tried to hold back his tears, feeling guilty for causing trouble for someone he cares about, but ultimately failing to contain his emotions. His feelings on that day could have been described more vividly.
•Regarding Jamie from that scene, she didn't seem to show much concern for Yeha's health when she was admitted. Her emotions as a caring best friend weren't portrayed well in that scene, as it was more focused on Jesper and Yeha.
•The same goes for Seonhu and Yeha's parents. They need better development too.
•And both Seonhu and Jesper seem to be quite possessive of Yeha, but I think it should be toned down a bit in some scenes.
•Furthermore, it would greatly enhance the work if the author could include visual representations of each character. I haven't come across any chapters that describe them clearly enough for readers to visualize and engage with the story.
🍓Plot : 7.5/10
•I read a similar plot just a few months ago, and this one did feel quite similar, but with the added love triangle, it still felt more unique to me.
•It was really good, with something genuinely unique and well thought out.
•The foreshadowing of Yeha losing her parents before the actual incident was a good idea and the dancing scenes were also great. Good work, author!✨
•Now, moving on to the pacing of the story, I think the initial chapters, around 1 to 12, felt really fast. The flow of the scenes seemed too quick, with many areas that happened too quickly without much explanation.
•I understand the editing process is still ongoing by the author, but as a reviewer, I have no choice but to discuss them, right?
•And let's not forget about the plot holes. There were some scenes, especially one in the last chapters where Jesper suddenly gave out the black caps to his friends out of nowhere, which seemed like it was to fill a plot hole and wasn't thought through by the author beforehand. It felt really out of place and should be fixed.
•Overall, the creativity and the plot idea were still unique. Well done, author!🎉
🍓Grammar/Vocabulary : 6.5/10
•I understand, I understand. I know the author is still editing the book, but she submitted for the review while still needing this much editing, and I have no choice but to rate it based on the current writing I read, right?
•What I would like to mention is, the whole book needs a thorough editing process, and I believe it might take a lot of time to sort out everything and address the issues I described in the criteria above.
•Also, I suggest the author not use italicization for paragraphs too much if not needed.
•There were several places where basic verb forms were not used correctly when 'did' or 'didn't' were used in the writing. I think I mentioned some in the comment sections for the author to edit. I hope it helps her.
•There are many places that need more detailed descriptions for scenes that require them in the initial chapters and I hope the author will improve everything in the future. I wish her good luck!✨💓
🍓Overall Impression : 7.5/10
•If not for the editing that needs to be done and the various areas of character development, I think I would have scored a 10 out of 10 for this category.
•But hey, there's no need to be demotivated. Your book is undergoing the editing process, so this was expected.
•I believe you will enhance the book even further in the future. Do reach out to me if you need my assistance in anything! ✨
•Overall, I enjoyed the story!
🍓Final marks : 34.5/50
🍓Last note :
About the pointer where you asked whether your book is capable of being published offline, I think it could be a great success for you. It's still undergoing the editing process and the story is still unfolding, so we don't know where Yeha's parents have gone and whom she will end up at last. I am rooting for Jesper, lol. I feel like it could become a really intriguing book once it's thoroughly edited and has improved in the areas I mentioned. I believe you have the potential to make it shine. If you do release the book offline one day, please let me know. I'll try my best to buy it first. ⭐
What type of curiosity does your book build in the reader's mind, you ask? From a reader's perspective, the entire plot was full of curiosities, not to mention the cliffhangers, they were great. I was particularly curious about when and how Yeha’s parents would go missing, and what her friends might do to help her throughout her journey. The love triangle aspect is especially interesting to me. Overall, the whole story is filled with intriguing elements and I can't wait to see you, the author, publish the book offline one day. ⭐ Well done! ✨
Reviewer : Yoonkeeri
Author of the book : rachel_here13
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