[Name] has always been unfortunate when it comes to love, she had crushes, had a situationship that lasted for three weeks and was ghosted in an unlabeled relationship. When she thought that crushing on a guy was hard for her, what more when crushing on a girl? Even if she swings both ways she will always end up by herself (no pun intended).

Why is she seeking love in the first place anyways? Is it because that's what most teenagers are after currently when they enter highschool? [Name] was caught in a whirlwind of fitting in since she's at her age where other people's validation matters instead of hers. If there's one thing that [Name] wished she had known before entering in a relationship with Souho is that it will never be like in fanfictions and movies.

Because what is shown in fiction is an idea of what love should look like on the surface. [Name] wasn't told about the days where they wouldn't talk, the coldness, the lack of affection, and the times where he isn't always there when she needed him. Maybe she hoped too much for a sweet romance just like Yashiro describes it to be.

But Yashiro's fantasies were nothing like [Name]'s past relationship. Souho was no prince, he was just a regular guy who happens to share some interests like hers and that they clicked. [Name] had someone in a talking stage with a girl named Hua though neither of them tried to progress things further.

After those cringy flashbacks during the night, [Name] realized is that she's rushing to get into a relationship like it's a one time opportunity that will never come back. Like Tsuchigomori told her last time that even people who share a lot in common and have a deep connection don't always end up with each other.

[Name] hugged her pillow. "Wow, it's been a while since I moped." She grabbed her phone by the bedside to scroll through her social media to take her mind off of her thoughts. "I haven't opened my Instagram account—whoah jumpscare!" [Name] completely forgotten that she and Souho still followed each others accounts. "Damn Souho you can't even be independent for once, going to another girl after ghosting me? Sheesh I thought you're okay with being alone..." [Name] deadpanned at the sight of Souho and his girlfriend on a post. "I didn't know I was following a fish selling account—unfollowed and blocked."

The [hair color] haired girl smiled in satisfaction. "That's better, no more ghoster in my feed." Then her smiled softened like in some sort of relief. "It was a little lonely but I have my friends to keep me company."

"I suddenly have the urge to clean my room what the fuck." [Name] stood up from her bed and walked away to the door to see where to move things out. She put her hand under her chin, glancing around the room. "I'll move the bed over there and along with my desk, the bookshelf should move a little, I need to arrange my manga, games and my figurines—I also need to arrange my kpop albums and merch. Man am I that messy?" [Name] scratched her head confusingly. She clapped her hands together. "Alright let's get cleaning."

[Name] moved her bed next to the windowsill, it may be heavy but she had some strength to pull and push around. After moving some furniture around, she took away her manga, albums, and figurines to a different area to arrange them. "Looking a little productive aren't we [Name]?"

"Oh hey, Mom." [Name] greeted in a stoic tone. "I'm just moving around some things for a change."

"Is someone coming today so that's why you're cleaning your room?" Yana questioned while crossing her arms. [Name] raised her eyebrow in confusion before placing a figurine on the shelf. "Is it a new boyfriend? Nene-chan perhaps? Aoi-chan? Lemon-kun?"

"I'm not doing it for everybody, I'm doing it for myself." [Name] replied, picking up another figurine and placing it next to the previous one. "Look I know you're shocked by me cleaning up my room for the first time but can you please stop acting like it's a holiday or something." She said while furrowing her eyebrows, Yana could be nosy sometimes but then again all moms are probably like that too.

"I feel like I'm forgetting something but at the same time I'm not." [Name] stopped halfway when she suddenly felt a wave of feeling that she had forgotten something. "Like I dunno what it is."

"If you have forgotten something maybe that's not important at all." Yana walked away from the scene to head downstairs to prepare for dinner. [Name] shrugged, maybe her mom was right about it because if it's important then she wouldn't forget about it—"We're having karaage chicken for dinner." She added.

"Okay..." [Name] replied before opening a notebook and a bookmark fell to the ground. The bookmark's design has a combination of magenta, purple and dark blue which was given to her by her late sister. She bent down to pick it up to place it back to the notebook. "Maybe I should tell Hanako-kun...?"

'But what if Hanako-kun doesn't accept it? Considering that he hasn't touched grass in years he wouldn't even understand what it means.'

"Hanako-kun is an understanding person." [Name] muttered under her breath, reassuring her that the ghost boy will accept her no matter what. She's not quite open with her sexuality and only told those who are close to her like her family and friends. Even Souho knows that she likes boys and girls. "I mean he's a sweet guy there's no way he'd oppose to something like that."

➽───────────────❥

[Name] thought that if she said something about herself to Hanako he will eventually reciprocate the action to open up as well. Although things aren't meant to be rushed but at least it would build rapport between the two teens. [Name] took a deep breath, then stepping in to the girl's bathroom to see Hanako by the window playing cards with the Mokke.

She'd known the boy for some time now so she's ready to tell him about this thing. "Hanako-kun, there's something I'd like to tell you..." [Name] twiddled her fingers in nervousness.

"Hi [Name]~! What brings you here?" Hanako grinned shooing the Mokkes away from the bathroom because [Name] looked like she wanted to tell him something in private. By the looks of it, it's kind of serious since she's not showing signs of being comfortable. "Is there something wrong?" He asked.

"Can you go to the third bathroom stall? I'll go to the second stall so you won't have to see my face..." Hanako didn't question her further but nodded gravely instead as he stepped down to the wooden floor. His footsteps were followed by the creaking floorboards making his way to the third bathroom stall. He leaned against the panel of the stall, crossing his arms, and tilted his head up.

[Name] swung the door to the second stall open as she sat down on the bathroom floor. This is just like back in Middle School where she would skip classes to hide in the bathroom to be alone with her thoughts. "I hope that you wouldn't change the way you think of me, I tell this to my friends—my ex knows about this too and I wanted you to know because I trust you, Hanako-kun."

She stared at her hand, then lifted her knees to hug them. "What I'm saying is that, I like boys and girls—well I like both of them. At some point I have crushes and either of them could be a girl or a boy, I developed something from either of them—but you get the gist of it, I get attracted to boys and girls, romantically and sexually."

Hanako blinked from the other stall on what he heard. Of course he heard stories about girls liking girls and boys liking boys. He would often overhear people being confused about their sexuality and gender especially when they rant about it in his bathroom and those times where he wished he could've told them that he understood them, then again, he's just a ghost passing by.

[Name] frowned, the silence was too deafening and she didn't know what is going inside his head. Maybe he's offended, maybe he'll react harshly towards her or worse, he would avoid her. "It's okay if you don't support me—" Hanako teleported to the other stall where [Name] was sitting by the help of his tsueshiros.

"I'm not quite familiar in terms of that but I find it really cool that you like boys and girls." He grinned as he sat down cross-legged in front of her. Hanako tilted his head to the side and smiled at her. "Thank you for telling me [Name], I'm sorry if I made you feel like it was hard to tell but I will support you no matter what." He clasped his close hands around her warm hands. [Name] was in verge of tears because that is the most heartfelt response she could ever receive from someone. "It's okay, I accept you."

"Hanako-kun..." [Name] sniffled. "Waahhh...! Thank you so much...!"

Hanako reached over to wipe her tears. "There there..." He said in an assuring tone. "That doesn't change the fact that you'll still clean the bathroom though~" [Name]'s tears stopped falling and looked at the male in a deadpanned expression.

"Way to ruin the moment Hanako-kun." [Name] rolled her eyes at Hanako as she pried his hands off of her face. "I'm literally crying tears of joy that you accepted me for liking girls and boys and you just had to say that I'll still clean your bathroom."

"Hehe, I'm sorry." Hanako scooted next to her. "So like—do you have lady crushes or have you ever have a girlfriend? And here I thought your ghosting situation was more complicated, do you ever get confused with your lovelife."

"I'm just as confused as you Hanako-kun don't worry." [Name] agreed with a small wince. "At first I thought I was straight because I've had guy crushes ever since I could remember but then there's this girl from highschool that I was literally head over heels with, she's probably a college student by now."

"I never get to tell her how I feel nor do I want her to know that I was into her. I was supposed to confess to her on the last day but I had an emergency." [Name] lets out a melancholic sigh remembering what happened years ago. "We never spoke again and that was the last time I saw her."

"Do you think she likes you back?"

[Name] shook her head. "No, she's straight...I can't force it—I'm just a naïve middle school student that happens to be in love with someone older than me." She chuckled how stupid she was back then thinking that she had a chance if that girl wasn't straight. "Her name was Sumi Sugawara. All these years, I still remember her but I moved on already."

"Then no, I never had a girlfriend—well there was a situationship but nothing went further than that it literally wasted my time thinking that Hua and I developed something, she was just bored." [Name] explained as her lovelife progressively gets worse as she tells him. "Souho wasn't even my boyfriend, he just happened to be someone that I shared feelings with and we became a thing."

"My parents approve of me dating a guy or a girl as long as I focus on my studies but you know what's funny? People with strict parents can literally land a relationship while someone's who's literally allowed to date can't find themselves a date." [Name] and Hanako bursted into laughter at the realization, maybe a lesser spirit must have heard it and felt hurt because it's true. "Could you believe that my first unofficial relationship was a fail like it hurts my pride and it's embarrassing to think that I exerted effort to match the fantasy I had with my books."

Hanako stopped for a moment, then whispered under his breath. "If it were me, I'll treat you way better."

"What?"

"Nothing—" Hanako whipped his head to the side, scratching his cheek in embarrassment for blurting that out of nowhere. [Name] grinned at Hanako as she gently elbowed him. Hanako had his mouth open in astonishment, for a wonder like him he would've mistaken her as wonderful. There was a magnetic effect that reeled him and he was totally sure that this is definitely not a work of a supernatural. "You know I heard this rumor that was circling around the school recently."

"Hm?"

"That the eldest Minamoto has a crush on someone in the Astronomy Club and that someone is you." Hanako grumbled while hugging his knees. [Name] choked, she completely forgot that rumor long ago since Emi took care of it. "And you didn't tell me you were from the Astronomy Club."

"Well—either I forgot to tell you or that it didn't matter." [Name] shrugged her shoulders with a wince. Now Hanako had the nerve to sulk in the corner for not telling about herself but he's like that too—so who's supposed to sulk right now? "Of course the crush rumor is not true but I am from the Astronomy Club, we only have few members since the club was established last year."

"So they do have an Astronomy Club?!" Hanako's eyes sparkled in delight, he would've loved to join, too bad he was a ghost and was long gone from the face of the earth as a toilet bound ghost. "I always wondered why they don't have an Astronomy Club in this school and the fact that there is currently makes me glad."

"I love Astronomy."

There was a spark, for Hanako at least and he felt that star flicker inside of him at the moment [Name] said that. "Y-You like Astronomy too?" Hanako questioned as he grabbed [Name]'s hands—it's like there's an establishing connection between them at that instant.

The universe divines you with a soulmate.

"Yeah, it's something I loved for a very long time." [Name] gently falls her head against Hanako's shoulder which made him stiffen and vermillon color rises through his cheeks. There is no coldness over a dead body when being flustered. "Around four years old I was drawing stars and the cresent moon over a piece of paper and I would always look forward at night to see if the moon is up there or that it is following me."

"My parents found out my interest towards those stuffs so once I learned how to read they would give me stories about space and even going forth to letting me watch Astronomy related media on television." [Name] smiled at the memory of her as a little kid watching planets and universes like a late night show. She was given her very own small telescope as a kid and currently she had one that she can carry around. [Name] knew how to assemble a telescope but she still has difficulty in adjusting the magnification—it's not really her talent. "I think I loved the moon more than the stars, I guess it's because it's always there during the night and it stands out amog the stars."

"But the moon's shine is reflected from the sun and stars have their own shine—sometimes I love both yet it makes me happy when I roll away from my desk using my swivel chair to see the full moon through my window." [Name] pulled out her phone and went through her gallery to show Hanako a picture of her along with her twin sister.

"You're a twin?" Hanako questioned as he took her phone to see the picture better.

"Guess which one's me."

Hanako pointed at the cheerful twin on the photo. "This one?"

[Name] shook her head with the smile as she pointed at the calm and collected twin on the left. "That's you?! I always thought you're a cheerful one because sometimes you're chaotic." Hanako said in disbelief, there's no way the stiff and sharp girl on the picture was [Name]. "Then who's the older one?"

"I'm the eldest—we're seven minutes apart." [Name] replied.

"How come I don't see your twin that often? Is she in a different school...?" Hanako asked in a solemn tone, which is the tone that he uses in negotiating with other wonders like Tsuchigomori and Yako along with lesser spirits that causes trouble.

"She's dead."

Oh.

"We were almost identical in appearance yet in terms of personality and attitude we're quite different. Our parents would make us go to different schools so that confusions would be avoided." [Name] explained while fidgeting the end of her skirt, already telling a tale about her twin to Hanako as if they were close friends. "Hina is bright—she shined like a sun, a star. Then there's me, the moon whose shine depend on others."

"Hina was playful, so when we started Middle School together we would often switch places and nobody can tell us apart. I would go to Wakamori pretending to be her and then she would pretend to be me in Kamome. She would always make me do things for her such as answering tests, I used to be annoyed by it but as days go by I kinda like going to Wakamori."

"And the reason why I didn't leave Wakamori is because my crush at the time, Sumi Sugawara was a student there. We can catch up to the lessons since at the end of the day we would talk about it so that the next day we're going to switch we know what was going on. At first it was hard to adapt the environment but as years go by it was actually kind of fun."

[Name]'s smile faded after a quick pause. "Then one day,"

"It was the last day of school and I was about to be in my Third Year in Middle School since I was a Second Year at that time. Hina was supposed to meet up with someone at a café while I met up with Sumi-senpai to tell her my real identity and to confess my feelings to her." [Name]'s voice was slightly shaking and Hanako instantly noticed it so he couldn't help but to be concerned whether it was really alright for her to tell him this.

"I expected a rejection, Hanako-kun. I really did, I was ready—but I wasn't expecting that Hina was going to die that day." [Name]'s voice cracked as tears start to form from the corners of her eyes, she quickly wiped them. "I was this close until Mom told me that Hina got into an accident and was hit by a truck on her way to the café."

"She was rushed to the hospital, I remembered a lot of nurses and doctors crowding over the emergency room. They tried to revive her but it was too late because she lost a lot of blood." [Name] trembled against Hanako as that incident kept replaying inside her mind. "The rest felt somber. After the funeral, they renovated the things belonging to Hina to an extra room and barricaded it...we made a shrine for her by the entrance of our house."

Hanako placed his hand on top of [Name]'s squeezing it gently to tell her that he's here and he's listening to everything she said. It made [Name] relieved that Hanako was showing empathy and compassion as she tells him the story of her loss. "Sometimes, I wonder like what if Hina never got into an accident or that I stopped myself from meeting Sumi or I stopped her from going to the café."

"We made a promise that we'll stay by each other's side until then, I didn't want to blame anyone for her death but nothing lasts forever I guess—I miss Hina being a chatterbox, energetic, eccentric, cheerful and most of all a loving younger sister." Hanako couldn't help but to pull [Name] in an embrace, he felt her shake so he rubbed circles behind her back while holding her tightly.

Now it made sense when Yashiro told Hanako that [Name] had a sister that died a year ago along with what she said to Yako back in the Misaki Stairs.

"It's okay [Name], let it out, I'm here." Hanako assured. [Name] started to cry, for so long she thought that she was okay if she kept her feelings surpressed but it didn't take long till she broke down into tears, pouring out the pain and grief. "Shhh...there there, stay in my arms until you stopped crying." He hushed in a soothing tone.

There is warmth in between despite Hanako's cold temperature. It took like minutes until [Name] pulled away to wipe her tears. Hanako reached over to cup her tear-stained cheeks, wiping a tear drop that was about to fall from her eyes. "That was one hell of an emotional phase"

➽───────────────❥

k bye imma sleep