summary:

 amane and [name] stopped communicating after the pen pal project

"When we lost each other."

The quarter felt like a shooting star, it was fast in a blink of an eye. As the late night calls stopped and so as the letters.

Amane laid down on his bed, staring at the messages that he and [name] exchanged. Something was weird, it's been a week since they chatted after the pen pal project was over.

Though, he doesn't want to assume that he has been ghosted, yet the situation is the same. Not being able to receive messages from the person Amane likes, it's definitely ghosting.

Amane stayed up all night, not because of star gazing, his honey amber eyes had lost their shine and looked like a zombie with eyebags forming under his eyes.

She disappeared like a ghost.

"You disappeared for an instant, like a faint ghost, you disappeared."

Amane felt his eyes brimming with tears, he didn't get used to it, it's like being alone again. He never met [name], yet why was he crying for her?

'This is not supposed to happen right? You're not supposed to fall for your pen pal Amane.' the voice inside his very own head told him.

'She's just a pen pal, Amane. Nothing special, you shouldn't cry about her.'

'It's all gone'

'Don't disappear now, I'm searching for you'

'It felt like the summer was winter without you.'

'It's all gone, now. It's over.'

"Now I just missed you..." Amane choked back a sob. His heart was clenching making it difficult to breathe. It felt like he was having an anxiety attack, he wanted to make the feeling disappear.

Now that [name] was gone.

He wanted to disappear as well.

Amane hugged his knees hunched over while lying down. His phone was the only source of light inside the room since the moon isn't there when he needed.

Just like he needed [name].

But the thing is,

She nowhere.

She's gone.

Amane doesn't know what to do.

It's all gone.

"Whoah Yugi, you okay bud?" Yamabuki sat next to the young boy who was staring into space, his eyes were sore from crying and his eyebags are turning darker. "You look wasted man."

"Yeah, I'm okay." Amane smiled, even though he was hurting and grieving inside. To everyone it looked like it was the brightest smile, but in reality it was fake.

"No you're not, Amane-kun." Yashiro interrupted, crossing her arms in front of Amane. She placed a hand on his shoulder, looking at him reassuringly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Truth to be told, Amane does need someone to talk with. He's been bottling up all his tears and suffering because of [name]'s sudden disappearance. His smile faltered, casting down to his desk and nodded gravely. Yashiro grabbed his hand before dragging him out to class.

"I thought you liked [name]?!" Yamabuki yelled out.

Yashiro stopped as the two of them arrived on the rooftop. Amane's shoulders slumped a little bit. "So tell me what's going on?" she asked.

Amane was silent for a while, he felt his eyes watering. Yashiro wrapped an arm around his shoulder, telling him to calm down before he can tell her.

And so he did, starting from the day he learned that [name] was his pen pal, to the epiphany of falling for [name]. Yashiro listened, nodding on every word he says. "Maybe it's a sign that you two should meet?"

"Huh?" Amane rubbed his eyes using his hands. "What do you mean?"

"I've read this somewhere in books!" Yashiro tells Amane with a smile on her face. "I always see this kind of plot, and it is time to apply it to the two of you!"

"The two of you are some sort of soulmates!"

Amane squinted his eyes in disbelief at Yashiro, a typical someone who doesn't believes in soulmates and then they meet in some point for plot purposes. After Yashiro had elaborated the term soulmate, she bids goodbye on Amane because she promised Aoi that they will go on a "date" together.

Amane saw her figure slowly going away from him, but he didn't try to call her back or even yell that he used to like Yashiro. Besides, the young boy already had fallen for [name] and was foolish for trusting his intuition that he wouldn't.

He gave a one last glance at the sky before going back inside to his respective classroom.

"Come on Minamoto-kun, beat Tsukasa-senpai up!" Mitsuba encouraged Kou who was randomly pressing the buttons of his controller whilst his electric blue eyes remain glued on screen. Tsukasa, his opponent, was concentrating really hard to win the video game.

Amane was sitting on his swivel chair, reading [name]'s last letter before the project's end. He was reading it for like...fifteen times already.

"Senpai, you've been staring at that letter for a while..." Kou worriedly pointed out. Tsukasa told him to leave him for a while since he was on a state of singularity.

Amane puts down the letter and sighed heavily. The three of them went over to the older twin to see what was going on. "Not gonna lie that pen pal is creative as hell." Mitsuba remarked. "Anyways, may I see the letter?"

Amane nodded as he handed the pink haired boy the letter. Mitsuba carefully unfolded the letter and started to read. He grabbed the envelope and started to examine it. Mitsuba notices from the back of the envelope, a slightly peeled off paper. "Hey, Yugi-senpai," he called. "I think there's a post card stuck on the back of the envelope."

Kou scrunches his nose. "They probably didn't mean to stick the post card and paint it to camouflage it—"

"Okay who has long nails here?" Amane sighed as he looked at his cutted nails. "I recently cut mine."

Mitsuba peeled off the postcard from the envelope with ease. He gave the post card faced down to Amane. As Amane receives the card, he flipped it up and saw something that made his stomach drop.

It was the ferris wheel that Amane saw in his dream along with the unfamiliar girl. The question is, what does the ferris wheel have to do with that? "A ferris wheel?" Tsukasa asked.

"This is the ferris wheel I saw in my dream last time—" Amane let out a shaky breath and pointed at the ferris wheel. "There was this girl who appears in my dream two times in different places. One with the carousel and the recent one is this ferris wheel on the post card."

"Hm? I heard this one from an article that dreaming about a ferris wheel means that you don't want interruptions when you're excited." Kou explained. "A carousel is a symbol of childish joy, which means that you don't want to forget in the past."

"Then how about that unfamiliar girl?" Mitsuba asked.

"She could be someone from a past life?"

"If a carousel symbolizes as childhood happiness does that mean that girl was linked to you as a child?"

"I didn't even have a female childhood friend." Amane crosses his legs. "Besides even if that girl was my childhood friend I wouldn't be able to recognize her."

"Do you have any information about [name]-san, anyways?" Tsukasa asked.

"She goes to Sanaol Academy, which was far from here." Amane answered monotonously. "It'll take a subway to go there."

"How do you know then?" Kou asked.

"I researched her school online, and it was an all girls school." Amane wetted his lips while brushing his hair back using his fingers. "It's a four hour ride—"

"Four hours?!" Tsukasa, Kou and Mitsuba yelled in disbelief. The three looked at each other and nodded as they knew what they're thinking. Amane raised a perfect brow at them, then looking at the post card on his hand. "That's just—"

"Hold up." Amane raised his hand to stop them from talking. "The post card that Mitsuba peeled recently, there's something that was written on the back of the envelope."

There are dots and dashes on the back of the envelope. It is some sort of morse code. Mitsuba thought it was kinda extra since they could've just say the actual letters instead of encoding the message for minutes.

The four of them spent hours to encode the morse, Amane leaned back to his swivel chair as he wiped a sweat from his forehead. "So what does it say?" Tsukasa asked.

Mitsuba and Kou looked over to Amane's shoulder to see the message along with Tsukasa.

"You and me in 5:53 at the ferris wheel...?" Amane says as if it was a question. He turned his head towards the four and gave them a lazy but determined smile. "How would you three like a bonding trip to find [name]?"

"I'm in!" Kou smiled whilst showing both of his canines and pointed at himself. "I'm totally in for some trip!"

"I guess I'll come too." Mitsuba blew a raspberry and shrugged. "Only because I'm bored as hell."

"If Amane's going then I'm going too!" Tsukasa wrapped his arms around his older twin causing the latter to elicit an 'oof' from his lips.

"Well that makes us four then. We'll go tomorrow." Amane tells them.

"Tomorrow?" Mitsuba asked. "What time?"

"Since [name] said to meet at 5:53 pm by the ferris wheel, which wasn't specifically mentioned where and what, I guess we'll ride at dawn." Amane looked at his laptop and started to peck the keyboard using his fingers. "When we arrive at Sanaol Academy, we'll ask for directions for the ferris wheel from the post card."

"I have a theory though," Kou tells him. "It could be a possibility that [name] is the person in your dreams."

Then it clicked him into epiphany, why didn't he thought of that before? But again, Amane has no idea what [name] looked like anyways. He shouldn't be jumping in to conclusions that fast. Just because the girl who keeps appearing in his dreams doesn't mean it's already [name].

[name].

Amane lets out an exaggerated sigh from his lips and slouched against the swivel chair. He really did miss [name]'s company, even if it's just letters and texts.

Who knows, maybe tomorrow during their trip, they will meet. Amane makes sure of it, he wanted to see [name].

He wanted her to know how much he misses her after they lost each other. He can't go on.

Not without her.