"In today's lesson, we'll be learning how to conjure a Patronus, as Dementors has been stationed around this school and we need to be able to fend them off as they cannot differentiate between the innocent and the guilty." Professor Lupin said. "Now, does anyone know how to conjure a Patronus?"

A girl raised her hand. "You need to think of the happiest memory you have, then say the spell, Expecto Patronum, sir." she said.

Professor Lupin nodded. "Correct."

Upon hearing this, all Envy could think was two and a half words.

I'm fucked.

"Now, please take out your wands," Lupin instructed. "Hold it properly, in front of your sternum—don't stab your friends' back, make space, move—and repeat after me: Expecto Patronum!"

Everyone, even Envy, despite knowing he won't be able to cast it anyway, repeated the incantation.

"Perfect. Please start practicing. Remember, focus on your happiest memory."

Envy backed off to a corner while his classmates grouped up with their friends.

Happiest memory, huh. What could it be...? he mused, sitting down on the deserted corner, cross legged, drawing unknown invisible symbols on the floor with the tip of his wand as a way of fidgeting.

With Ki—no! No, no, no. Maybe with all three of us. And... Wow, there's nothing. It won't be powerful enough... The memory's just in flickers... Blue hair? In pigtails? No, no, wait—what color was the girl's eyes? Argh, forget it, focus on a happy memory—

"Mr. Autre? Are you going to attempt the spell?" Lupin said silently, shocking Envy out of his thoughts.

"When I find a happy memory," he replied, "I will."

"Why don't you give it a try now with what you've got?" Lupin asked.

Envy tensed. "Alright, sir." He slowly got up, fully aware of the eyes watching him.

He'd mastered wordless spell casting.

Expecto Patronum, he thought, desperately scrambling for a happy memory, any slightly happy memory.

Not even a silver wisp came out of his wand.

Professor Lupin looked at Envy with an unreadable expression. "Try again verbally."

"Expecto Patronum," Envy whispered.

Nothing happened.

"Please come to my office after this," Lupin muttered, leaving Envy to his musings.

Except this time, he can't try and think of a happy memory.

His mind is racing with thoughts.

Why can't I cast the spell?

Do I not have a happy memory?

He sat there, in the corner, cross-legged, head bowed down, hoping that the hot tears trailing down his cheeks would go away.

Am I just a failure after all?

—

inspired by:

prof lupin: to fend off dementors you must first think of the happiest memory you can think of—

envy, under his breath: fuck

by emoreo

also i may or may not be self projecting

but also explanation

my theory is that casting expecto patronum is super exhausting and drains u emotionally and thats why u need happy memories

envy with his very low happy memory level gets drained even more so yeah. no more happy just sad

also bc hes like hermione, no one rlly likes him and all he has is his smarts bc i mean he is v smart