kinda just dumping my life here—

In reality, I'm just a little lonely kid. I miss my trio group. Cally is in another city now, she moved in July. ( :(( I miss her.) And the other one, we'll call her Elana, has divorced parents and isn't able to be with us all the time.. I remember when we all could be with each other, no issues, nothing in our way... It just makes me sad.

Cally, Elana and I even had our lives planned. Cally and Elana would start a kidnapping company and steal a white van, then kidnap me, and then they move on and kidnap more people.

Let's talk about Cally. Cally has been my friend since preschool. I love her to bits. Lately her life's been going bad with loss and other personal things I won't be sharing online due to a personal request to not tell anyone.

I've been with Cally through so many parts of her life. Cally's lived in several different houses, and I've been in a good chunk of them.

But now Cally lives two hours away. She's making friends, which is lucky. I'm happy for her. It just makes me sad knowing my parents probably wouldn't drive me down there to see her for an hour.

Now let's talk about Elana. Elana I've known since 2nd grade, but am technically closer to because of Cally's move and being able to see Elana in person.

Elana has lately also been feeling bad. Dramatic family stuff got to them and all that.

Elana is more of a joker with their trauma. (Elana uses she/they, I believe Cally is she/her, and I'm they/them of course) I colored in Choir class, the last day of it, and Elana kinda made jokes about their trauma. None of us minded it, not me especially because I'm just glad they're joking about it instead of not finding a way to cope.

It was a lighthearted day, the one with Elana. I'd named the boy from the Polar Express 'Heath' since they never said he had a name and even if they did I could not care less. His name is Heath.

Elana, me, and my friend Miles were all coloring Christmas coloring pages since it was the last day before break. I'd drawn a non-binary flag on the back of my paper and told the two I did have interchanging names, but that I preferred Karla that day. These days, I mostly prefer Karla.

It's just hard when the same people you've been hanging out with since as long as you can remember aren't able to something up with you the way they used to.

But I'll deal. I'll still text Cally and Elana, hoping that one day we'll be able to get together, the three of us, again.

We'd planned a dozen times about going down to where Cally lived. I've never been down there. Elana has.

I had a call with them the other day and it just made me sad to remember that I can't ever see these people in person at the same time.

The call just felt like old times, which made everything even sadder.

Now I barely see either of them anymore. Even at school, Elana has different classes from me.

I'm sure Cally and Elana won't read this as I'm pretty sure Cally hasn't even heard of Wattpad and Elana wouldn't go on. If they did, they wouldn't recognize that this was them, as I'm using fake names. But I'll write a message for them anyway.

Cally, Elana,

Hey.. it's Karla. It's the one person that made your trio a trio. I want things back the way we were, obviously, but that'll never happen. I miss you, both of you. I just wish I would've been able to say goodbye to any chances of us being able to see each other in person again.

That was the message. Once again, I know they'll never see it, but sometimes it feels better to put it out there anyway.

It'll always make me sad thinking of the play with no Cally. Cally did the play last year, and Elana saw us both. (Their favorite part was me fighting someone onstage-) But now, Cally won't be in the play, and Elana probably won't be seeing it.

Even with all these friends, it just feels lonely knowing I can't see them again.

I miss you, C and K.

I miss you.

- Karla