"Hey, get groceries after school! The list is on the fridge!" The wails of an upset toddler peal through the house, making it hard to hear Momma's ask.

I've just come outta my room, where I spent the last half hour fixing myself up for school. Well, mostly I just sat in bed and stared at the wall, but that's neither here nor there.

I grab an apple off the counter, so Momma wouldn't yell at me for not eating, and scan the list before taking that too. I've got some tutoring sessions after I get out of class, but stopping by the store won't be outta my way.

A mental checklist helps me get my ducks in a row; I've just gotta pick up Beau on my way in and that'll be everything. 

So with all my things within reach (I can't not have it like that, it gets me on my nerves), I pull into Beau's driveway. The outside of their house is a little wild-looking, but it's not like it looks like it belongs in the boonies. Was that a weird way to word that? How could I have phrased that bet-

"Hey Paul." 

"Oh. Hi, Beau." They drop heavily into the car, grunting and juggling two cans and a tote bag. I don't know why it doesn't just use a backpack. 

"I got ya your fix, junkie." 

"Whatever, just hand it over." I snatch the can of Monster out of its hand and crack it open on my way out. Beau is quiet on the way-- they're definitely not a morning person, even with caffeine and a bit of nic, which they hit a few times in the parking lot.

"Babe. Hey. HEY, Paul!" I snap out of my trace, taking off my glasses to rub my eyes.

"Wha'? Sorry, I was... uh, huh?"

"We're gonna be late." Both of us just sit there and blink at each other for a sec. Then it clicks. 

"Oh, shit!" I jump out of my seat, grabbing my bag and Monster, and race into the school, forgetting my keys, or to even lock my car, until I hear it beep behind me. I smile gratefully at Beau, who nods back to me. We'd walk to class together after this. 

I brush back my hair and straighten myself, trying not to look too plastered. Humiliated, I walk into class. Everyone's eyes immediately snap to me, and I go cherry red. 

"Ah, Miss Leeland. I was wondering where you were. Do you have a pass?"

"Yes ma'am," I shuffle to the front and give her my slip before sitting down. Most the class has gone back to whatever it was they were doing, whether it be note-taking, a last-second assignment, messing around on their phones, or sleeping. I sigh, knock back the rest of my drink, and settle in to carry the class.

Eh... maybe not today.

"Wake up you lazy pile of hot shit. Your class is done." Beau scoffs and snaps in my ear. I slap its hand away, annoyed. Why couldn't I just get a simple five more minutes? 

"Five more minutes, Momma?"

"No baby, you start your day late and everyone else will be ahead of you." "No! Get your ass outta bed, it's time to get ready. Poppa's at work late so you gotta watch your siblings." "No, haven't you slept enough lately? Goodness gracious, it's like you never come out of your room. Get something done today for a change." "No. When you're a woman working in a man's world, you don't have five minutes to spare."

I sigh and haul myself up. I didn't fall asleep until real late last night, I was too busy working on my assignments. It was the only time I could do them, since I had to watch the baby when Momma worked. Poppa worked nights so he could be home during the day, but he was so exhausted that I didn't wanna bother him with the kids. So anything else I gotta do's gotta wait til nighttime. 

"Late two periods in a row? Damn, Leeland, you really are slacking." 

"Says the thing that never does any work, skips half its classes, and is skying on nic half the time." 

Beau shrugs off my retort. "What can I say, I gots anger issues and nic settles 'em."

"You need therapy."

"So do you. And you know why I can't." I do.

"We fit right in, two fucked-up kids in need of therapy, huh?"

"I think that's at least 80 percent of our generation, but you go on ahead and entertain the thought that we're special." I roll my eyes. It has a point, but I'm not about to admit it. We bite out aggressive, sarcastic comments to each other on the way to our next class, AP Lit. Even though they're a complete dumbass, Beau's crazy smart. They just gotta beautiful way with words, something they've never been able to teach me. 

Ever the inseperable duo, we sit next to each other. The teacher, Mr. Smith-- creative, I know-- is my uncle. He's known Beau and I for a long time, even outside of school, and honestly he's put up with our bullshit thus far, so I respect him for it. He's a good teacher. If it wasn't for common core standards, he'd be giving us real literature instead of the bigoted, racist, sexist old "classics" by rich white men. Mr. Smith is one of the best teachers I've ever had, and I'm grateful for him. He's a pretty great uncle, too. He's just a good guy all around.

"You two aren't here at your normal time." Usually we get here earlier, almost right after the last bell. Dawdling in the halls isn't fun for me; I'm not a huge fan of people, especially high schoolers. 

"This knucklehead fell asleep in AP Stats." Mr. Smith looks over his wire-rimmed glasses at me. The maternal look doesn't suit him. He's tall, skinny as a pole, and very masculine. 

"Georgia Paul." Oh shit, I'm in for it. "Ha, you thought I was gonna chew you out. No, honey, I slept through and skipped many classes myself in high school. So did Barney, actually, that's how I got to knowing him." He smiles a soft, gentle smile. I couldn't help but smile a little, too. He didn't talk about his past all that much, except his past with Barney. I love hearing their story, it felt straight out of a book. Ever since I was a kid, I always had a strong bond with my uncles. 

"Anyways. Go sit down, peas." I suppress an eye roll. He's called us that for as long as we've been friends.

"That guy." Beau shakes their head. "He's somethin' else." 

"Definitely is." I sit. So does Beau. It slumps over a little to lean on me. I put an arm around its shoulders and close my eyes for a second, just a minute. 

"Wake up." Uncle hisses in my ear. "I'm starting class soon." 

I groan and shove Beau off me. It peeks open its eyes to glare at me, then rests on the desk. 

"Come on y'all, up and at 'em, time to get this show on the road. Take out your notebooks and..."

I take out my notebook and doodle, too exhausted to think.

Before I know it, the day is gome in a flash. Lunch felt like seconds; everything else was a blur of papers and pens and people.

"Can I come home with you?" Beau tugs lightly on my sleeve. "I don't wanna go home yet."

"Of course. I have to shop first, then watch the baby, but as long as you don't-"

"Shut up." I do. We get in my car and go to the store.

"The list, shit where is it?!" Beau watches me calmly from its seat while I whirl around in my car, slapping my pockets, checking everywhere it could possibly be. I'm starting to panic, my chest tightens, my vision flattens, I can't breathe-

"Hey, babe." Beau's hand dwarves my thigh. "It's okay. We'll find it or we won't, either way it's okay. Just breathe." His gaze is locked with mine. I take a deep breath, then another. Normally, eye contact scares the shit outta me, but with Beau, I don't mind it quite as much. 

"Thanks." I wipe my eyes and lean back my head. 

"Yeah. Do you remember what was on the list?" It squeezes my knee before letting go. I miss the contact a little, but I ignore that. 

"Not exactly, but I think I got the essentials."

"Alright, then what's the problem?" They crack a small smile-- they're joking a little to lighten our spirits. "Come on, get your ass up. Or does Daddy have to spank it, get you moving?" 

I wrinkle my nose. "Yeah, uh that didn't sound like I thought it would," they mutter, getting out of the car. They slap the roof. "Out!"

I sigh and follow it into the store. Thankfully it's pretty quiet, only a few shoppers here and there. With Beau's help, I go a little wild, getting a few not-quite-so-necessary things as well as milk, cereal, bread, and other stuff.

"Hey, put that back!"

"I've gotta have something to eat when I'm at your house, I'm not a bird." They slap their stomach. 

"Neither are we."

"Y'all eat like it."

"Momma does."

"That crazy bitch." 

"What kind?"

"Chocolate obviously, do you even know me?" I laugh and throw the pack of cookies in the cart. 

"Okay, that's all for now."

"Damn, I kinda like making you buy everything for me."

"You know I ain't got enough money for that," I scoff. My cheap job working at a diner won't cut it. 

I put everything on the belt and bag it when it's scanned. The rising total gets my nerves going. Am I going to have enough? Will Momma even pay me back? How much overtime do I gotta work to get this back? 

I grit my teeth and scan my card. I'm definitely not eager to see how much is left on it.

Beau and I load ourselves up like pack mules and go back out to the car. 

"I'm hungry," it complains. 

"Well we just got food." They give me puppy-dog eyes. "Oh, fine. But you're paying."

It winces at my cuff over its head. "Jeez Louise, sorry Mommy." 

I know the point of his quip, but the name doesn't sit right with me. Why is that bothering me? My kids will call me that one day. Mommy. Why do I kind of hate it? 

I put it off to think about later. At the moment, other things need more attention. I swipe the vape pen from Beau's mouth. 

"Hey! I was hitting that. I mean, you can have as much as you want, but ask first, damn!" We take turns with it through the Starbucks drive-through and on the way home. 

Beau makes a face. "Ugh, it's spicy!"

"You shithead, don't you know better by now?" I slap its arm. It sticks out its tongue at me, and I stick mine out right back. "Come on, get these bags inside, you horse."

"Twig." I shove them out of the car.