cowardice, in build a bear: where's my bear?

necromancy, a tired employee: please wait. reanimation is a process.

—

provoke: how would you rate your pain?

fraudulent, after getting attacked by animancy: zero stars

provoke:

fraudulent: would not recommend

—

arbitrous: so. who broke it? i'm not mad, i just want to know.

cowardice: i did. i broke it.

arbitrous: no. no you didn't. mischievous?

mischievous: don't look at me. look at envy.

envy: what? i didn't break it!

mischievous: that's weird, how did you even know it was broken?

envy: because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

mischievous: suspicious.

envy: no, it's not!

pride: if it matters, i mean probably not, fraudulent was the last one to use it.

fraudulent: i don't even drink that shit.

pride: really? then what were you doing around the coffee machine earlier?

fraudulent: i use the wooden stirrers to push my cuticles back, everyone knows this.

kindness: okay, let's not fight. i broke it, let me pay for it.

arbitrous: no! who broke it!?

everyone: ...

mischievous: arbitrous, love has been awfully quiet.

love: oh, really?

everyone: [yelling and arguing]

arbitrous: it was me. it burned my hand so i punched it. i predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. good. it was getting too chummy around here.

—

cowardice: how are you doing, envy?

envy: you know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? that's the sound my brain makes. all the time. it's just the constant grinding about things that i'm afraid of or things that i want or want to want, or want to want to want

cowardice: ...oh.

—

provoke: it's unhealthy to eat after 9 pm.

arbitrous, slicing avocadoes at 3 am: well isn't it great to know that time is an illusion.

—

pride: would you turn arbitrous in?

envy: i would do that for one tic tac.

—

fraudulent: we need to get through this locked door. quick, someone, give me your credit card.

envy: here.

fraudulent, pocketing the card: awesome. provoke, kick the door down!

(this totally would happen)

—

arbitrous, drinking a can of marinara sauce: dinner

mischievous, grabbing another can of marinara: can i join?

—

arbitrous: 'ooh, look at me! i'm envy and i fold my clothes before putting them away!' i bet you chew your food before you swallow it, too.

envy: well, yeah

arbitrous: pathetic.

—

necromancy: it's five am, you're up early.

despair:

necromancy: you didn't sleep at all, did you.

—

fraudulent: did you check your lunch bag? i wrote a note to tell you that i love you.

provoke, opening his lunch bag: fraudulent, this is an academic essay.

fraudulent: double-sided with citations!

—

arbitrous: do you think i can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

envy: you're a hazard to society.

mischievous: and a loser, do twenty.

—

pride: arbitrous, i told you earlier. no weapons on the dinner table.

arbitrous: you said breakfast table.

pride: it's the same table.

—

fraudulent: i'll carve our initials into a tree on our first date because it's the most romantic way to let you know i have a knife

—

necromancy, the day before the planned attack: get some sleep. you'll need it.

mischievous, a few seconds later: [starts laughing for no reason]

envy and cowardice: [follows suit]

despair, tired: seriously? it's 12 am.

(this is an old quote from the d*scord server and because they dont have rights im publishing this here)

—

kindness: petition for stars to be visible in the daytime.

love: girls already exist.

(not unrestrained sin but. yes)

—

despair: i'm gonna try this thing called water to see what the fuss is all about

despair: ok this is better than crack cocaine

—

provoke: okay, i need you to chill—

arbitrous, banging his fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVORED IF BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?

—

fraudulent: some guy just called me a bitch.

kindness: that's horrible!

fraudulent: not really. arbitrous once told me i dress like an accountant going through her second divorce who's trying to get her oldest stepchild to call her once a month. THAT'S a real insult.

fraudulent: that guy needs to step up his game.

—

pride: i hate going to the kitchen and finding out i'm the only snack in the house.

—

provoke: i don't know what place "second runner-up" is.

arbitrous: it sure as fuck isn't winning.

—

mischievous: if poison goes bad, is it more or less poisonous?

despair: please just go to sleep.

—

cowardice: i waved at a woman that i thought was waving at me.

cowardice: turns out she was waving at someone else so to avoid awkwardness i kept my hand up and a taxi approached me and drove me to the airport.

cowardice: i am now in poland

—

provoke: what in the hell are you wearing

fraudulent: a hoodie and jeans like always

provoke: WE'RE GOING TO A WEDDING

—

necromancy: if all of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?

despair: i would jump first.

—

kidnapper: we have her

provoke: who?

kidnapper: fraudulent.

provoke: oh.

kidnapper: oh?

provoke: you don't have her. she has you. good luck

—

fraudulent: i'll go to bed early tonight.

fraudulent:

fraudulent: is that the sun

—

arbitrous: i'm not sure what this sentence means

envy: "ignorance is bold and knowledge reserved"

fraudulent: you can read latin?

arbitrous: you can read?

—

mischievous: what are you, five?

despair: yeah five heads taller than you

—

cowardice: i look up to you a lot.

necromancy: is it because you're short

—

envy: pride you look—

pride: hot? gorgeous? cool? pretty? handsome? tall? mature?

envy: i wanted to say "like a smurf" but whatever if you think a smurf is hot then yes

(IM LAUGHING SO HARD)

—

despair: im gonna do a drinking game i made up. whenever i feel sad i take a shot

mischievous: that game already exists its called alcoholism

—

fraudulent: do crabs think fish are flying

provoke: how high are you

fraudulent: 170 cm

(1010 words! :3 )